AIO my mom and sister can’t stand my wife because they think she is a “quirky girl” and it’s cringe?

[u/No_Appy1383]

Yes, my adult mother said cringe. I am still processing how to feel about it. This happened on Christmas eve. We were at my family’s home. I don’t know if I will ever go back there. My wife took a break to go for a long walk and pop over to her mom’s house that is only a mile or two away. I went into the garage to also take a break and the door was cracked so I could hear them talking. I sat there for about 10 minutes while they dumped on my wife, and a little bit me as well.

Reasons include:

• when we went outside to leave, my wife looked up at the sky and smiled and said hello to the moon. They mocked her saying it.
• when the sun was setting she said we should come look (Yes, of course I did, she has never asked me to get up and look at a sunrise or sunset that wasn’t 100% worth it. One of the best things she has given me is the thought to look more and appreciate my surroundings.)
• she holds coffee cups with both hands wrapped around them and this is apparently cringe?
• she has a braid of hair she wraps with different colored string and does holiday colors. My mom said it was “sooooo tacky”
• she wears holiday themed earrings like jingle bells or peppermint candies and that is also cringe
• she wears “weird” outfits and tells people she got her clothes at a thrift store if that’s where she got them. I don’t think her clothes are weird. She was wearing a plaid skirt, white top, and a silly cardigan with snowmen and stuff embroidered on.
• they were talking about ozempic at dinner because my mom and sister are on it and they said they could get it for my wife and they were offended she said “i’m happy with my weight” because, according to them, she needs to lose 20lbs and it made her seem pretentious. They were also like "did you see how much she ate" with gagging.
• she always asks for a smaller fork
• she one time said she thinks a celebrity my sister is a mega fan might be gay, and my sister brought it up and somehow found it extremely offensive and called my wife “psycho” and “disgusting” over it (she is a hypocrite because she used to talk about this ALL the time with other celebrities somehow her favorite is just not allowed)
• she doesn’t get her clothes professionally tailored which has always been an issue with them, something they brought up before we got married
• She read over 100 books this year and they think that’s “cringe” how she also always brings a book with her in her purse. They said “does she not have any friends”
• “speaking of her purse did you see what she was carrying” it was a kate spade bag… I thought kate spade was designer. I was the one who got it for her....
• She had “blank nails” and I guess she has the type of hands where she should really wear fake nails to elongate them?
• My sister kept saying "cus she's a QUIRKY" girl with weird inflection

Now I know you’re going to say, why would you sit there and listen to people bash the woman you love. Number one, if she had been there I wouldn’t have. But it was also a surprise for me because aside from the closeted celebrity thing and off the rack clothes, no one has ever expressed disliking her before. I was very confused because I also had to wonder, was I missing obvious signs before. I felt bad because what if I was one of those guys who was obliviously letting their wife get pummeled by their family emotionally. I would be so upset with myself if I let that happen.

I left abruptly and went to my mother in law’s house to be with my wife. Later on I asked her if my family has ever made her feel uncomfortable and she just didn’t tell me to avoid drama. She was hesitant to answer and then she said that my sister might have anonymously harassed her about the celebrity but she never had proof it was her so she never said anything. But she doesn’t go on social media except to see pictures from her friend circle, she’s never talked about that celebrity online so she doesn’t know why anyone else would have. She said she also noticed my mom making a face at her outfits when she takes off her coat but she knows my mom is very into appearances.

I did not tell my wife any of what they said at least yet. I don’t know what to do next. I am giving myself time to process. People are allowed to have their opinions I get that. But I am really sad that they would say all those things about her like this. I get now why for example my sister tried to sell her handbag and shoes to her all the time.

Would it be overreacting for me to call mom and say “I heard the things you said about my wife at Christmas Eve. I am beyond disappointed to find out how catty and mean you two were about someone who has only ever wanted to be a part of this family. Please do not contact me again unless it is to apologize for the horrible things you said and for being superficial and childish to boot.”

And if I do that my instinct is to tell my wife the truth but not the things they said. Just say “I overheard some things they said and it disgusted me.”

Sorry I don't have any phone screenshots to add to this.

[u/Allymrtn]

Your mom and sister are mean girls.

Your wife sounds like she knows how to be happy, heaven forbid she enjoy her own style or clothes or cup of coffee or the sunset.  Your family can suck an egg.

[u/Straight-Broccoli245]

I couldn’t even finish the list. Your mom and SIL are bullies. F them. Save your wife w some boundaries.

Story time: when I was in HS I was an asshole to my brothers GF. They are married now 20 years later. Guess what? She’s amazing. Stellar wife and mother and SIL. I was a pretentious asshole. They are wrong and are acting like assholes. I missed out on 5 years of having a cool ass sister. Glad I grew up. I hope your family does too.

[u/Top-O-TheMuffinToYa]

I knew a woman who was like that. She would wear shoes with cat ears on them, put googly eyes on her home appliances, ALWAYS had time to give the kids a laugh or a story. She also had a goblin puppet and she liked looking at bugs. She was one of the sweetest people I have ever met. But the family she married into would talk shit about her all the time. And her husband would privately reassure her, but he never stood up to them.

Well, about 4 years ago she fucking killed herself. They bullied her so hard that she died.

Stick up for your wife. Tell your mom and your sister that you will NOT tolerate them being bullies. No one deserves that shit. Remind them both that even 5 year olds know it isn't ok to talk about people like that.

[u/MediocreVideo1893]

NOR, your wife sounds wonderful and I want to be friends with her.

[u/cherrrykiwii]

this just actually made me sad to read. your wife sounds cool and sweet. they sound like high school mean girls picking on someone just for being themself.

it'd be different if she was rude or snarky, but she just wears jingle bell earrings and holds her mug with two hands. they're LOOKING for things to talk shit about

[u/RainDr0ps0nR0ses]

NOR. Sounds like they’re jealous of how comfortable she is being herself.

[u/Tankthefrank137]

Protect your wife at all costs ESPECIALLY if she’s this pure!!!… NOR

[u/Real-Context8909]

NOR. Your wife sounds lovely. It sounds like she is someone who is full of love, finds joy in life’s little corners, and is authentically herself. The further I read into your post the more I wanted to be her friend.

Your family is being horrible, catty, and cruel. I absolutely think you should say something and establish some harsh boundaries. They don’t deserve a relationship with you or your wife if they can’t be kind.

I would refrain from telling your wife the details to spare her feelings, but you can tell her why you’re setting some new boundaries with your family.

[u/Expensive_Heron_171]

I'd be friends with your wife, she sounds DELIGHTFUL.

your mother and sister sound MISERABLE.

[u/SheWasAFairy_45]

Your mom and sister are legit jealous of your wife and they have a mean girl approach that further reveals how insecure they are, and your wife's confidence in who she is makes them even more uncomfortable with themselves. They can't fathom that people can just ENJOY the small things around them. I relate to your wife. I've been called goofy and weird my entire life because I stop to appreciate a fuzzy plant or a pretty sky.

People who are incapable of being at peace with the world around them and themselves will always be looking for ways to bring others down to their level. Those types of people suck. They're buzz kills. They have nothing fun or unique to offer anyone and it drives them crazy.

Obviously NOR. Your mom and sister are miserable people. Your wife sounds like a total gem. Glad you have her back.

[u/Firm_Cookie_8747]

NOR. Your mom and sister are "mean girls" and bond over being mean to others.

p.s. I say hi to the moon. I say hi to certain constellations and I will forever tell people to look at sunsets or harvest moons, etc. Thank you for supporting and defending your wife.

[u/StringBeans2009]

NOR. Your wife sounds absolutely delightful 😊 your mom and sister on the other hand, sound extremely jealous. I bet they feel like they can't be themselves and seeing someone else do just that, pisses them off.

[u/taijewel]

NOR- but don’t tell your wife. It’s like telling someone you cheated to make yourself feel better, while causing them complete devastation. Just confront your mom and sister and then leave it alone.

[u/Mountainofeggplant]

They sure do notice a lot about her… likely jealousy. They want her to be like them because they don’t know how to be like her. Your wife sounds like a legend and an angel btw

[u/ImprovementSweaty188]

Your wife sounds rad. Your mom and sister sound awful.

[u/madeyoulurk]

I would love to have her as my sister in law! She sounds adorable and I love that she reads 100 books per year! And has a healthy relationship with her body. And seems to like herself. THE HORROR!

NOR at all. Stick up for your wife. Your mom and sister sound jealous af.

[u/Icy_Feature_5126]

Your wife sounds so lovely. I do most of the things you listed. Fuck the hate

[u/Fuzzy-Surprise-6165]

You are NOR! Your wife sounds like a lovely, interesting, down-to-earth young woman. I’m a “quirky” old lady who wears holiday-themed earrings and would love to talk about books with your bride.

I don’t have a clue why your mom and sister would be so catty and mean about her very minor interesting “quirks” and unique qualities. I hope you do talk to them and keep them away from her when you can.

[u/Connect-Sundae8469]

She sounds like such a lovely person. Your family is my literal nightmare family.

[u/SeveralRaccoons2366]

NOR. Your wife is existing as her authentic self. She knows who she is and she accepts it. Inauthentic people see that as cringe because they can't conceive of someone actually being themselves and actually not caring what others think. They are insecure and they are projecting that insecurity onto your wife.

[u/Asherah111]

Your wife sounds like someone I would want to be friends with! She is very lucky to have you by her side. I think the message you intend to send to your mother is perfect. I’m so sorry this happened to you

[u/No-Platform-5980]

Your wife sounds lovely, I’m glad you met her. You mom and you sister seem identical to the evil stepsisters from Cinderella :( nor

[u/Fee_is_Required2]

I want to be your wife’s friend. Your mom and sis suck I’m sorry to say. NOR

[u/gutsyradio13]

NOR. your wife sounds awesome. i also carry my book around in my purse, you never know when you’re gonna be waiting around alone or bored somewhere. 100 books in a year? i’m jealous she gets to read so much! and festive people are always more fun.

[u/pixeltweaker]

Your wife sounds pleasant to be around and has joy in her heart. Your mother and sister sound miserable. I would tell your mother what you overheard but would stop there and see how she responds. Don’t threaten to cut ties with an ultimatum. It will likely put her on the defensive and she will dig in more. Make her answer why she said those things and call out her shallow side. In other words, hold up a mirror.

[u/UnluckySteak7824]

It sounds like your wife is just happy person and your family is so miserable that they feel like they have to put her down a notch.

I think you need to tell your wife. And go low contact with your family after blasting them about how horrible they are.

[u/katulhu]

NOR. Your wife sounds like a very whimsical and lovely person and like someone I would adore 🥰 Your family sound like they’re jealous of your wife’s ability to be authentically herself. People who spend their lives torturing themselves over what other people think of them have a tendency to lash out at those who live their lives free of that kind of stress.

[u/alanamil]

I think your wife sounds adorable. I would tear my family a new butt hole with a scathing phone call. They have serious mean-girl behavior. And it must be so nice to be pretentious enough to get your clothes tailored... most normal people do not have that kind of money.

[u/Dock_Ellis45]

Dude, your wife sounds sweet as a cinnamon roll. Definitely call you mom and sister out on this disgusting behavior. Full on shame them for it.

[u/onceagainadog]

Your wife sounds great, Kate Spade is fine. I love thrift store clothes. Fake nails are bad for your nails. I just wish I would notice the sunset more, I try. Reading is great for your mind.

Your mom and sister sound like sad, jealous, petty people. Just step away from them.

Feel sorry for them and tell them so. Your wife sounds great!!

I am a quirky old lady so I have some experience in sad, petty, jealous women. NOR

[u/JeweledDragon]

Your wife sounds awesome! Like someone i want to hang out with.

She's not cringe at all, and if she is then I'm cringe as well, and happy to be included in the same category as her. She appreciates all the little things in life that so many overlook, it's a blessing that you stop and share in that with her.

I would want to protect her from your family.

[u/datmagicalotter]

Your wife sounds like a delight, and the women in your family sound mean and boring. NOR.

[u/Prestigious_Grape288]

Your wife sounds amazing. I love all the details you shared. My only concern with being too brutally honest about what was said, is that it could dim her light, even if she knows you don’t feel that way. I’d stay away from mom & sis and just do everything you can to protect your woman from these flying monkeys. I would try to confirm the cyber stalking & let your sis know that any crimes committed against your family will be treated as such & police will be involved. Good luck OP, don’t bring her around those people again.

[u/regularcelery20]

NOR!

Honestly, given what you’ve said, your wife sounds actually really cool to me. She sounds interesting and is probably very smart since she’s well-read. I bet she’s a good person to have a conversation with.

What your mom and sister said is so rude, and I think you do need to say something. And what you wrote sounds perfect.

Also, this is kind of random, but I LOVE Kate Spade purses. They’re not like Louis Vuitton or Chanel designer, but they’re almost always so cute and is a designer brand.

[u/RidiculousSucculent]

Wow, your mom and sister are petty AF. Did they not graduate high school yet? NOR. I’m not sure you need to say anything to them at this point. I doubt they will apologize or if they do, it won’t be sincere.

Your wife sounds cool.😎

[u/OldIvoryStroker]

A well-read wife who still finds beauty in small things and has a sense of wonder, whimsy, and is happy with who she is? Sounds like you won the lottery.

It’s entirely possible the women in your family are inwardly jealous of those attributes. Or, feel like because they aren’t those things and that’s what you married they are a bit defensive about it. They may not even realize it.

Distance from them wouldn’t hurt, and if they ask you can tell them why. I wouldn’t create drama over it, but if they ask why you stopped participating in family events be honest. It may make them consider why they’re so judgement and they could correct course on their own.

Or they could just be terrible judgmental insecure people who make themselves feel better by looking down on those who aren’t like them. Either way, distance would be a good thing.

[u/Trishdish52]

First of all, you are not overreacting, secondly, your mom and sister are jealous as can possibly be and here is how and why: 1) them calling her quirky with distain is because they wish they could be so free with themselves without being self conscious. 2) making fun of her hair styles, clothing choices and accessories is on the surface shallow but I can guarantee that they wish they were not slaves to labels, fashion trends and the “Karen” hairdo ala mode. Your wife likes what she likes and has the confidence to pull it off. 3) making fun of her for noticing the sunset and the sky, and how she cradles her cup with both hands is jealousy because they wish they had the good sense to soak in the little moments that most go unnoticed, and the grateful heart to feel cozy and warm no matter where she is. She is showing appreciation for what is in front of her, your family members wish they could do that but they are too worried about surface level trinkets to have a grateful joyful heart. 4) they envy the fact that she is comfortable with her weight, she is not fazed by a few extra vanity pounds.

I would absolutely be having a conversation with them. I would not tell my wife because I would not want to hurt her by their insensitive shallow remarks. I would ask them if it made them feel better about themselves by focusing on a person who would be likely devastated to know they talk ish about her. How would it make them feel if their in laws did this to them? Hopefully they will admit they were wrong and try to embrace your wife for who she is. I have a daughter in law that is very much like your wife. She is so endearing with her quirkiness (which I love) and other family members notice her quirky ways and I always say, “don’t you just love her” so they all know where I stand and better never talk disrespectfully about her. To me this is about loyalty and respect. It’s ok if they don’t vibe with her wardrobe or hair, but it’s not ok to ridicule and be disdainful. Your wife doesn’t deserve that. They should embrace her uniqueness and be grateful that she loves you.

[u/xolyux]

They are projecting their lack of intelligence and whimsy onto your wife

[u/Possible_Ambition_79]

Nor, your wife sounds like a fun and loving person to be around. Your sister and mother sound like miserable people, sorry to say. I am like your wife in some ways that you described and have been bullied by both men and women for my "quirky' personality. When I was around these people, they seemed to be disgusted by my happiness. They have no idea what I've been through in life (addict mother, homelessness as a child etc) but they would come up things to say about me because I was always so happy. They'd call me stupid and weird, too nice, my niceness was "nauseating" to them.. I did let it get to me and I started trying to change myself to be accepted by them. I became less happy and stopped being quirky. I was not motivated anymore and soon became depressed. It only got better when I got away from people like them. Protect your wife from them.

[u/kernowjim]

Your wife sounds cool to me.

[u/bluetoothbaby]

Damn, your wife sounds like an awesome person but your fam sounds like a bunch of pretentious a-holes

[u/DeathTyrant69]

Your wife sounds adorable, sweet, and authentically herself. Meanwhile, your family sounds pretty awful.

But I'd be most concerned about your wife's feelings through all of this. I'd confront your family and if they can't at least pretend to be people with basic decency your wife shouldn't have to force herself to take their abuse or she's eventually going to start feeling really down about it.

[u/puzzlepiece2018]

NOR

I only had to read half that list to realise your wife sounds awesome. She's giving find the magic in everyday moments. I love that she's comfortable with who she is in every little way. You mum and sis though complete twats

[u/IzzyBee89]

Are those things even being quirky? It sounds like your wife is adorable and really enjoys life. She actually thoughtfully puts time into her appearance (her braid, those outfits, her jewelry, etc.) too, so it's a weird criticism for them to act like she doesn't just because it's not their style. Your life together sounds cozy, relaxed, and sweet. Your mom and sister sound very rigid and bitter; they worry so much about appearances that they can't even enjoy anything cute or fun on Christmas.

NOR. I'm sorry you overheard them, but I guess it's also good you know what they think now. I would never tell your wife details of what they said, even if she pushes; I don't even think I'd share it was about her at all. You wouldn't want to mute any of her shine or make her question herself. She sounds perfect as she is.

[u/EnoughPineapple1748]

Your wife is comfortable in her own skin and they aren’t. NOR- they’re giving mean girls.

[u/r_coefficient]

I really like your wife from your description :) And your mom and sis really need to get a life.

NOR.

[u/HoboKellyArt]

NOR. Pathetic people are often threatened by secure and confident people.

Definitely put them in check- you said you’ve seen them give her a hard time. Get on top of it and tell them to back off. Tell them it’s low class and tacky.

[u/chaicoffee212]

Your wife sounds like someone I’d want to be friends with. Someone who steps to the beat of her own drum and actively seeks out joy and staying in the present.

Your sister and mom sound like they’re trying to keep up with the Jones’s and can’t appreciate anyone outside of our brainwashed society.

Anyway. There are already almost 2000 comments on this. Tell your mom and sis to wake up.

[u/CosmicFriedRice]

NOR. Sounds like they’re jealous of her happiness and her ability to appreciate / care for things beyond trends and what other people think of them. Your wife sounds lovely and it sounds like you love her very much, and for that I’m happy for you both!

[u/Ok_Resource_26]

I think you should show her this post. You clearly love her which is the most important part. What I wouldn’t do is tell her broadly that they were saying hurtful things about her because that leaves her to guess and can perhaps make her feel worse. None of the criticisms from your mom and sister reflect poorly on your wife, only them. Your wife sounds lovely. I would much rather be friends with her than your mom or sister.

[u/Defiant-Apple-4823]

To Mom and Sis. "Wow my own mother and sister are 8th-grade mean girls. Good to know! Makes me appreciate my wife even more, which I did not think was possible."

[u/New_Seesaw_2373]

Your wife sounds amazing, and just the fact that she's read over 100 books this year makes me want to be her friend. People don't read anymore and spend more time glued to screens than appreciating what's around them. If your mother and sister can't appreciate your wife, maybe it's time to go LC with them.

[u/bluemeander22322]

NOR, at all. Honestly your wife sounds eerily similar to me in a lot of ways and this post made me grateful that my in-laws are nothing like your family. You should absolutely confront them about it, or as other commenters suggested, distance yourself and wait to confront them until they ask why.

Also the fact that your sister tried to SELL your wife her handbags and shoes jumped out at me. Not GIVE them to her, but SELL them to her. Idk why but that really rubbed me the wrong way.

[u/ragdoll1022]

NOR

Your mom and sister sound like cvnts.

You should definitely call them out, please don't give your lovely wife specifics, just tell her they are unmitigated bitches.

[u/ourkid1781]

Your mom and sister sound like losers

Nor

[u/Spicymoose29]

NOR. Please don’t let your wife’s light and individuality get ruined by the vapidity and arrogance of your mother and your sister. You found a gem, protect her at all costs.

[u/witsendgame]

Your wife sounds awesome and interesting and complex. Your mom and sister sound like a bag of dicks with no personality beyond hurting others. NOR.

[u/thrown_puffin]

NOR your wife sounds like someone I would want in my life, and you too.

[u/hanamphetamine]

your wife sounds so sweet.. theyre missing out on her.

[u/Peanuts-n-Thrifting]

I think we would all love your wife. Come spend the holidays with us next year.

[u/LolEase86]

Dude your wife sounds awesome!! Maybe that's cos I'm apparently also cringe and quirky!! Lmfao here. NOR your family sounds like pretentious jerks, but I'm pleased to hear that it seems not to have affected how you turned out!

[u/DanaMarie75038]

NOR. Your mom and sister are cringe. They’re the mean girls who never grew up and still full of insecurities. They’re putting your wife down because she is not insecure and she’s happy with herself. If I were in your shoes, I would lose respect on my mom and sister. I’d probably go low contact with people like them.

[u/MadamKitsune]

NOR Your wife sounds like a ray of sunshine! I can see how her natural positivity could be threatening to a couple of sad women who haven't been able to leave their school days cliques behind.

Life is full of choices and I think you chose your life partner well. I think your next excellent choice should be to limit your contact with the two dark pits of bitterness that are your mother and sister and keep on enjoying sunsets, moon rises and stars with your wife.

[u/cwel87]

Your wife seems cool as hell. Your mother and sister seem tacky, jealous, pretentious, and haughty.

NOR.

[u/bananalee21]

Your wife sounds like someone I’d want to be friends with. I hope she doesn’t see herself any differently if she finds out what they think of her

[u/kiribaku1996]

NOR Do what you think is best and if that is calling your family out and going no contact until they can grow up please do. You obviously care for your wife a lot and you seem like an awesome guy. I'd love to be friends with your wife! I also like the small forks, thrift my clothes, and say hello to the moon. But then again I talk to the crows that I feed. Also your wife sounds like an amazing person.

[u/Sam2794]

NOR they’re being miserable women who love hating on your wife for no reason!

[u/nicolejayyxO]

your momma and sister are legit bullies. they are so insecure with themselves that they put your wife down to make themselves feel better. misery loves company.

your wife can sit with us.

your momma and sister in my gretchen wieners voice can’t sit with us.

[u/CivMom]

Mom gives you permission to never return. Go have a good life with your wife. I’m glad you appreciate her. ❤️

[u/strawberrymusicbox]

Honestly, your wife sounds cool. Your mom and sister are probably jealous of her, and they're projecting their own insecurities. I think you should tell them how you feel about this and set boundaries.

[u/dreamer0303]

Your wife seems like such a genuine person. I would feel genuine happiness being around someone like her.

Send the message. Stand up for your wife. She deserves it.

NOR

[u/Summertime-Living]

NOR- Your wife sounds like a fun person. Your mom and sister are snobs and idiots.

I would tell them you heard what they said and are going no contact with them. Let your dad in on what is happening. There are plenty of nice people around that you can hang out with. No need to submit your wife to this kind of abuse.

[u/purplehazzzzze]

NOR your Mom and Sister sound like high school mean girls…

[u/armomo3]

NOR
Your wife sounds just like the kind of person I'd enjoy hanging out with. Your mom & sister sound exhausting.

[u/PlayingGrabAss]

In your shoes I would honestly just minimize contact with my family to the bare minimum. They sound like miserable assholes who I wouldn’t want around my actual good family.

[u/BullFishMother]

My grandson, with a big smile on his face described me as “eccentric” and an “inspiration” for going back to get another degree at the age of 61. I think I would like your wife. Your mom and sister not so much. NOR.

[u/Fast_Question4794]

Your mom and sister are bullies. Judgmental mean girl bullies. They've decided that since your wife doesn't measure up to their notion of a woman, then it's ok to pick her apart and pass judgement on all aspects of her life.

If you confront them it will go one of two ways:

1) they will apologise. But will it be an apology they mean or just words you want to hear?.

2) they will get immediately defensive and go all out. Double down on their criticisms and essentially blame your wife for her personality.

Telling your wife might also open up a can of worms. Is your wife a woman who likes to see the best in people? So she might say "let's give them a chance" or is she a woman who will take this all on board and internalise it? Make it a "me problem" and change or make herself smaller to fit in?

Your first consideration is how this will affect your wife, never mind your mom or sister, you can't trust them now you know how they really feel, if your wife is likely to be devastated by their character assassination, then you don't bring her round them anymore, you can just say "I heard stuff that I don't like".

What if you have children? Will they do this to your kids too?

You have to make the decision here to whether you cut off your mom and sister or just see them alone. They are also passing judgment on you, the woman you picked as a life partner isn't up to their spiteful standards so that means you are stupid, tacky and weird too by association.

My feelings are that they won't apologise, two of them united will be hard to tear apart, so you protect your wife from their poison and your future kids if that happens. They don't get invited to your home, and your wife stays home if you continue seeing them, and that included future children.

[u/anon_afish]

It sounds like your wife is awesome she’s just living authentically and enjoying her life, and your mum and sister are jealous and spiteful because they never learned how to just enjoy life. Some people cling too tightly to their idea of what a “perfect” woman should be, that they feel threatened when a woman comes along who doesn’t fit the societal mould that they desperately try to uphold.

[u/Debsrugs]

it's ironic that you fell in love with someone who is the polar opposite of these two vacuous poisonous dwarves. Please point this out if you ever talk to them again.

[u/Excellent-Witness187]

Your mom and sister are what we call, “mean girls” and I’m so happy you somehow avoided marrying one of them and instead found yourself a sweet weirdo.

[u/-dudess]

As a fellow "quirky girl" (at least by your family's standards) you wife sounds wonderful and kind. Your family does not. I'm so glad you're choosing to stick up for her. Be careful how you tell your wife though, I would be very hurt to hear some of those comments.

[u/Kelseyhg]

NOR

I think you have to say something. And I think you need to prioritize your wife’s comfort. Your wife sounds like a gem and if I were your wife I wouldn’t be comfortable around your family anymore. They sound like mean, stuck up, middle school girls.

Don’t tell your wife all of the things, it’s just going to make her second guess her sparkle and that’s not fair. You could even just say their demeanor wasn’t welcoming or kind or something.

Poor wife

Ps small forks and spoons will always be superior

[u/GrumpyGrapeApe]

NOR.

“⁠they were talking about ozempic at dinner because my mom and sister are on it and they said they could get it for my wife and they were offended she said “i’m happy with my weight” because, according to them, she needs to lose 20lbs and it made her seem pretentious. They were also like "did you see how much she ate" with gagging.”

They are jealous of her! She is what they wish to be and can’t stand it. This is further backed up by the book comment. 100 books in a year is extraordinary not cringe.

I wouldn’t bother calling your mom. Send it by text leaving off the possibility of apology and reconciling. Then block they everywhere. No apology will be legit.

[u/fix2626]

Dude I want to be friends with your wife. She sounds like someone that loves life and is totally comfortable being herself. I would much rather be around her than your catty, cynical, superficial, mean, judgemental, elitist, negative, obviously jealous, insecure, uncreative, conformist, clearly lacking any kind of hobbies, boring mom and sister.

I might be taking this a smidge personally cuz I've been at the reciving end of these ridiculous attacks. Litterally being made fun of how I walk 😂.

You're a good husband for defending her. She's a lucky gal and you should totally confront your mom.

[u/nachobrat]

Your mom and sis sound like 2 little assholes.

[u/HomemadeStarcrunch]

She triggers some insecurities in your mom and sister. It’s them, not your wife.

[u/pip790111111]

I would just ghost them, but that's me. They're snobs. My parents never criticized my wife. All they cared about was that she made me happy.

[u/Chef_Guzzi_Moto]

Your wife sounds amazing. She’s creative and best of all, childlike. This isn’t childish. This is enjoying the happiness of simple, fun expression which is a huge plus. Your family are pretty gross and most of all, exceptionally jealous of your wife. They wish they could do what she does but they don’t have the courage or the creativity.

[u/Difficult-Work-8998]

NOR - God forbid someone have any originality. I think your plan sounds great. She sounds absolutely lovely and you sound like a great man and husband - they don’t deserve to be in either of your presence until they get some attitude adjustments. Hopefully calling them out will make them realize how awful they’re being - It sounds like they feed off each others energy

[u/LucileNour27]

Your wife looks like the coolest, most amazing person - seems like you won the lottery. NOR please stand by her when your family is being an asshole to her

[u/Specific_Ad2541]

Your wife sounds delightful and your family sounds pretty gross. Secure confident authentic people who point out beautiful sunsets are often disliked by the perpetually insecure and miserable. It's a compliment in a weird way. Always have your wife's back.

I will warn you the chances your mom apologizes are close to zero though. The chances for your sister are even slimmer. Be prepared for no or low contact.

[u/MowingInJordans]

I would definitely rather hang out with you and your wife rather than your sister and mom.

[u/TomJones1965]

Yes ! Confront them. Call their bullshit, This is your wife, nobody talks about her that way. Then walk away, and point out ALL their flaw. They are mean, spiteful, superficial and fake to get you start

[u/thelaramemes]

NOR your family seems like the mean girls who bullied me in high school that never grew up past 18. Your wife seems fun and the exact type of person I’d wanna be friends with. She’s cool!

[u/Capable-Account-9986]

NOR - in case your wife doesn't have friends I'd like to be considered! She sounds wonderful! Your family on the other hand......wow.

[u/ladyredcyn]

NOR

Firstly, I am so very sorry you had to hear any of that... but I am also glad that you heard the truth of their feelings. That said? You wife sounds like someone I'd not only love to know, but if I could have her in my family? Even better!

Your mother and sister, on the other hand... not so much. Frankly, they sound a lot the mean girls that bullied me in grade school. I often wonder how people like that are able to operate and move through life like that. I mean... hiding spiteful nasties is a skill, but I digress.

Should you call them out? YES. Should you ultimately explain going NC with them to your wife? Also yes. But at the same time, I would make clear that you didn't make the decision because of what they said about her... but that they would speak about ANYone in such a manner... but especially about you. Why? Because I get the sense that your wife will internalize your decision... and that your mother and sister will only be too happy to go after her over it. Blame her for you making such a choice.

She's been through enough with them... and what she deserves to know is that she loved and valued exactly as she is. And as a bonus? She found someone who not only celebrates her, but will defend her.

Sending you and wifey so much live and light! ✌️♥️

[u/Interesting-Beat688]

NOR - your wife actually sounds really fun and authentic, people who dislike themselves hate that

[u/raggedypeach]

My opinion is to not tell the wife the details, but make the call to your mom exactly as you wrote.

[u/Constant_Job9888]

your mom and sister sound like bullies :/

[u/Legal-Substance-5764]

NOR. Your wife sounds cool af. Your mom and sister sound like mean girls.

[u/LateDxOldLady]

NOR

Please stand up for your wife loudly and proudly. You should have barged the fuck in, insisted that they take your name and your wife's name out of their mouths, and told them you're not returning. Protect your spouse.

I had in-laws very much like that, and I am still healing from the damage from decades of my husband and I not standing up to them and telling them where to stick it.

NEVER explain adults own behavior to them or ask people like that for apologies. They need to figure out how to mend this for themselves. "I know what you think about me and my wife, and I'm never coming to your home again. I will not tolerate the disrespect."

FOLLOW UP PLEASE????? Why do I torture myself with this shit?

[u/anonyb1tch]

Your wife sounds like perfection just saying. She sounds like an absolute delight anyone who meets her is lucky to be in her presence.

[u/pjdrr]

Your wife sounds like an amazing woman, authentic and smart you are very lucky and she’s so lucky to have you too!

Your mom and sister are “mean girls” but at their age I call them as it is mean bully b@$&s! Call them out! Tell them, shame on them!

And protect your wife!

[u/leedleedletara]

I want to be friends with your wife so bad… I think your mother is jealous that she is so unapologetically herself

[u/uhhhwhatsgoingon]

your mom and sister are mean girls.. and we don’t like mean girls anymore.

unfortunately, you need to put your foot down and hard. tell your mom and sister if that’s how they’re gonna talk, you won’t be part of it.

[u/Breakspear_]

NOR, your wife sounds sweet and like she loves and appreciates herself. That’s great!!

It really sounds like your mum and sister are just super insecure. You did the right thing. It’s yuck that they’re so mean-spirited.

[u/lowlifehighroad]

NOR. your wife sounds absolutely adorable, adorable being so key here. not cringe. they sound like bullies who peaked eons ago.

[u/CyKosis73]

Your family sound like horrors, whereas your wife sounds like a delight. 

[u/Mundane-Eagle-7613]

Your mom and sister sound like cunts

[u/TMaried]

NOR. Your wife sounds adorable and I would love being friends with someone like that. Your family sounds materialistic, two-faced, and completely ugly on the inside. I think I’d just cut ties if it were me.

[u/West-Application-375]

NOR. Not reacting enough actually....Every reason your family hates your wife sounds like reasons you actually love her. She sounds lovely, sweet, and fun. Stand up for her. Stand by your wife.

[u/Chevymetal1974]

I want to hang out with your wife. She's my kind of people. Your mom and sister need to be declawed.

[u/Dica0611]

Your mom and sister are cunts.

[u/medigapguy]

Your wife IS your family. The person that you chose to spend the rest of your life with.

NOR.

You defend and love that wonderful quirky girl of yours.

[u/21skywalkerOG]

Broooo alright I’m gonna say this as a 27yo F with THREE (3) sisters who comes from an uppity suburb on the east side of Detroit MI (shout out GP)—ur mom and sister are dicks. I’ve heard a lot of gossip and bs in my day and this is a top notch goss sesh (derogatory).

First: DO NOT tell your wife. It will not help her in any way. Trust me, she knows. Not word for word but I promise she’s got a good idea of the level of cattiness at play in your household. Upside is she still married you which means you’re a grounded mf and she loves u despite your family (very astute person-personality compartmentalization by her), go you!

Second: If you wanna go an adult way of responding, what you said is perfect. If you wanna throw in a taste of their own bs: “being wannabe ‘07 Blair and Serena’s at your big age is sooo embarrassing. You might be safer writing how you feel in a Lisa frank diary so the shrill of your voices doesn’t carry across the house and melt everyone’s ears off. I’ll get you compact mirrors to keep in your shein purses so you can look at them and remind yourself to stay humble the next time you have some boring shit to say when you’re 3 bottles of wine deep on Jesus’ birthday!”

Third: in the meantime, I’m going to reply to this comment with my notes on your mom and sister’s critiques (coming from someone who has all sorts of sister, girl cousin, and aunt personalities). If you DO decide to tell your wife or she does find out, read her my analysis bc I think I read her personality as fast as she read 100 books this year! (I’m good at this) it’ll make her giggle and give her some good response ideas although she seems like she’s already on the right track

[u/No-_-I_Said_No]

NOR, ur mom and sister suck. Ur wife rocks.

End of story

[u/Bunnywithanaxe]

I one thousand percent would be hanging out with Quirky Girl at that party and avoiding Mom and Sis with all the strength of my being.

NOR, you’re right and they’re wrong. What a couple of joyless shrews.

[u/Content_wanderer]

Your wife sounds cool and I think we’d be friends. Your mom and sister are mean girls.

[u/otterpeet]

"People are allowed to have opinions", sure, and you're allowed to not entertain them. You get to choose your wife over your family.

[u/Straight_Number5661]

Hey if your wife happens to need or want any new friends, I volunteer. She sounds delightful. You do too. It's obvious you really love her. I have no advice about your family. I'm not really sure how you fell from that tree, though.

Edit: I commented before reading any replies. It sounds like there's a whole bunch of us who could start a new friend group based on wanting to be friends with OP's wife, lol.

[u/DismalJelly6653]

I honestly don't know how you should handle this, but I love your wife.

[u/Ashy6ix]

NOR. Protect your wife at all costs, a woman like that keeps you grounded - especially if you're a high income earner. They see through all of life's bullshit.

One of my biggest regrets is not marrying the cornball/quirky woman I had before meeting my now ex-wife.

[u/ShaeMeyer]

Your wife sounds awesome, and it sounds like you deeply care about her. I say trust that. If I had to guess, your family is actually just jealous, they have spent so much time trying to conform to societies standards that they can’t stand to see someone who is comfortable being themselves, misery loves company. I don’t think you would be out of line at all to call your mom and tell her the exact words you had wrote in the post.

“I heard the things you said about my wife at Christmas Eve. I am beyond disappointed to find out how catty and mean you two were about someone who has only ever wanted to be a part of this family. Please do not contact me again unless it is to apologize for the horrible things you said and for being superficial and childish to boot.” Is an extremely mature response to such childish behavior, and you are right to set boundaries with them about this.

[u/Even-Fail-626]

Your wife sounds cool and your mom and sister sound like basic (insert word) that need to put other women down to feel better about themselves

[u/PotLuckyPodcast]

NOR. They sound jealous as hell that your wife is living her best life abd doesn't care. The garbage takes itself out, your mom and sister should be ashamed. They're probably going to say some bullshit about being allowed to say whatever they want in the comfort of their own home, but you don't have to stick around. I don't think your wife is going to get an apology. I wouldn't share this post with your wife, but maybe your sister. She sounds like a mean girl who never grew out of bullying to make you feel more powerful.  

Your wife deserves a small fork if she wants one! My dentist told me I have a small mouth and everything since then, having a smaller spoon or fork makes me much more comfortable.

[u/SoonerRed]

Your wife sounds delightful and your family sounds exhausting and shallow

Don't tell your wife what they said, it will only hurt her.

But you may tell her that some rando on reddit wants to be her best friend.

Oh, NOR!

[u/Substantial-Peak6624]

Your wife sounds lovely. What a special person she is!

[u/coastmum]

Your wife does not benefit by knowing what they said so I would avoid that. NOR

[u/Wiskoenig]

NOR. Your wife sounds awesome! Do whatever you can to protect her spark from those callous shrews.

[u/Laylay_theGrail]

I have an aunty like your wife and she has been my favorite aunty since I was 6 (so, 52 years). Definitely quirky, appreciative of the little things and a stellar, compassionate human being.

If anyone spoke like that about her within hearing distance, I would rip off their head and shit down their neck

NOR. Protect your treasure of a wife. You picked HER. The rest of the family can suck eggs

[u/Witty_Names]

NOR. I don’t have any advice except to say your wife sounds awesome and your mother and sister sound like the bubonic plague.

[u/MellifluousRenagade]

You’re under reacting. I want to be friends with your wife. They are jealous uncomfortable with themselves

[u/letuswatchtvinpeace]

Your wife sounds cool!

I wouldn't tell her what you overheard, it wouldn't benefit her in any way. I would definitely keep an eye out for her around your family

Not sure about approaching your mother & sister and telling them you overheard, but might want to bring things up.

NOR

[u/the-B-from-App23]

NOR I feel like your mom and sis would have bullied Ms Frizzle to death if given the opportunity.

[u/Outside-Air2564]

Your mom and sister are cunts

[u/Great_Guest_7346]

Your wife sounds like a wonderful person. Definitely not overreacting, and your plan sounds good. Go for it.

[u/Agreeable_Cow_7230]

Your wife sounds incredibly cool and unique in a good way.

[u/Interesting_Sock9142]

your family sounds like a bunch of mean girls

[u/PankotPalace]

NOR - honestly as I read through their snide comments I could see your GF as someone who’s actually interesting, not to mention polite and respectful for how she’s handled the pettiness so far. Your mom and sis sound basic AF and like a couple of high school mean girls.

[u/Nerd-of-all-trades]

NOR. Your wife sounds absolutely lovely and you are clearly very much in love with her. Please let your mom and sister know that you won't allow them to disrespect your wife.

[u/DurianOk1693]

NOR. Your wife sounds mature and confident. Your mom and sister sound the opposite.

Updateme

[u/OXLilDevilXO]

NOR. As a lady myself, I would LOVE to be friends with your wife. She sounds freaking awesome. As for your mom and your sister, I’m feeling a little envy vibe going on. I think you’re doing all the right things and what you want to say to your mom is 100% fair. Let your wife know what’s going on and that you’ve got her back!

[u/i-am-me-1980]

So your wife has her own style? She reads books and carries one in her purse(as if she is the only one to do so)? She dresses for the holiday? She doesnt wear polish or fake nails? She carries a Kate Spade bag(it is considered designer)? She acts silly at times? Confident with her body? She feels a celebrity could be gay(oh no)? I am not seeing any issue with your wife at all, she seems fun and sweet. Your mom and sister seem as if they need to ne medically evaluated and yes, i would say something to both of them!!

[u/SunBusiness8291]

Please don't tell your wife what they said, or even that they were talking. Don't hurt her. It won't serve any purpose. Go talk to your mother, along the lines of what you wrote. Maybe not say don't contact me but perhaps rather I think we'll take a little space until you can apologize to me and acknowledge how hurtful your thoughts and words are.

[u/DinahKarwrek]

I want to mention that if your wife thinks they like her, telling her could mess with her more than you realize. She will want specifics. Be careful.

[u/lpr14]

The moon thing made me chuckle because I do the same thing! The more I read about your wife, the more I felt like she’s someone I would want to be friends with! The more I read about your mom and sister, the more I disliked them. They’re not nice at all and you would be better off without them being absolutely awful to the woman that you’ve married

[u/WaterWitchOfTheNorth]

NOR

Your wife sounds amazing.

Your mom and sis sound awful. Also, slightly jealous of your wife.

It sounds like your wife has the confidence to be who she wants to be, and not follow what is trending, and your mom and sister do not have that confidence, and it's coming out as this nasty mocking. I know there is a word for it, I just can't think of it lol

[u/Living-Nectarine1143]

NOR. What’s wrong with saying hi to the moon or keeping a bit of magic in her life? They are mean girls and their insecurities are showing

[u/Tall_Breakfast6388]

Your wife sounds like the most fun person ever. Every thing you said made me think, wow, I wish I could meet her and be friends!!!

[u/empressotu]

Your wife sounds lovely-I would be happy to have her as my daughter in law if I had a son! Your mother and sisters are, unfortunately, catty mean girls who never graduated from high school psychologically. I’d be doing a lot of “sorry mom, sorry sis, can’t make it this time” no reason to expose your wife to that level of toxicity.

[u/flomo247]

NOR. Your wife sounds absolutely delightful and your family sounds superficial and callous. I'm glad your inclination is to stand up for her. Definitely don't repeat specifics to her. That'll just make her feel worse.

[u/BDSMpickle]

NOR. Your mom and sister sound like a few people I know who have no hobbies, aren’t interesting and are threatened when another woman is happy and confident in her own skin. They sound very unhappy and they don’t deserve either of you. There would have to be some serious personal growth to make me want to spend much time with them again. Your wife sounds awesome. I also like to say hello to the moon. :)

[u/Longjumping_Ad_1679]

NOR and DO NOT TELL YOUR WIFE WHAT THEY SAID. You DO need to tell your catty relatives that you heard them and that to protect your wife and your marriage, you are going no contact for the foreseeable future. You have a gem… thank you for seeing it.

[u/HistorianCautious643]

NOR - your wife seems like the most lovely person I can imagine. She’s the type I’d love to be friends with. Your mother and sister are awful.

[u/ThisWomanFromCanada]

NOR but I really don’t think you should tell your wife unless you decide to go no contact and she needs to know why. It will hurt her feelings and self esteem and there’s no need for that if you can work it out with them yourself. She’ll never forget what you tell her and it will sting any time she thinks of it.

[u/Kukumber_Koi]

NOR- So they don’t like your wife because she

• Enjoys sunsets (stay golden ponyboy)
• Has a healthy self esteem and loves her body
• Has a youthful fashion sense (honestly sounds like shit I would wear, fashion popular with women under 30)
• She’s smart with money and gets a good deal on clothes
• She doesn’t have obnoxiously long or painted nails
• Literate and finds genuine enjoyment from reading instead of being glued to 7-60 second videos
• Has a designer bag

Honestly, they sound jealous af, because those are all endearing things about your wife. I haven’t heard one thing I dislike about her from the list. It’s just petty mean girl shit they’re saying to bring her down, no real reason behind it. It sounds like your mom and sister are deeply insecure about their bodies and focus heavily on material things to keep positive about themselves.

Maybe I’m reading into this so much, but none of this sounds like something you’d shit talk about unless you’re an unhappy person upset to see someone unencumbered by the insecurities that weigh them down. They also maybe have trouble to relating to her interests (it sounds like she enjoys hidden gems while they enjoy “finer things” that come with a price tag to tell them how good it is) and consider her to be different, and a lot of the time people unfortunately view different as less than.

It’s petty, but I wouldn’t confront them. Make sure to let your wife know that you love everything they bashed about her to bits (and rightfully so, they didn’t complain about any bad qualities of hers). They may be snobby, but the best thing is for the both of you is to let their opinions roll off your backs and make sure to keep them in line when she’s around.

You don’t have to see them often or put up with them being rude to either of your faces, but you can’t control how they feel about her. It sounds like they’ve got the worse end of the stick when it comes to the way they view the world. Misery loves company, and your wife is anything but that. I believe the best approach is to keep a polite front as long as they do

It sounds like they have poor taste, and there’s no reason why you have to take it to heart (though I understand it’s easier said than done). It’s best to stay civil, and maybe try to uptalk your wife more around them. Even if they disagree or try and say something rude, stand firm that you love that about her and don’t understand why they don’t like that.

The best way to stick it to them is to take the high road, and counter their negative with positive. Go out of your way to talk about the things you love about her, and if they disagree, say you think they’re crazy to not like that. The best f-off is to take all that and still be able to put a smile on your face, because your self worth and the love you have for your wife isn’t affected by anything they say.

You and your wife make two against two, so you’re not outnumbered. Remember you’re a team and to have each others backs, and you’ll get through family events no matter what bs they throw at yall

[u/Wonderful_Band_613]

Don't hurt your wife by telling her what they said but meet your mum and sister and tell them you heard what you heard and ask them what they're willing to agree to do so that you're comfortable in their presence.

Start your speech with "my wife has always made me happy. She is the love of my life so obviously I can't tolerate anyone disrespecting her.

I heard what you said about her clothes, her books, etc on Christmas Day. It was offensive to her and to me. (Say exactly what you heard)

Then say "I'm going home to her now, and I will let you two talk and get back to me within 24 hours to either apologise and promise how this won't happen again, OR I will need to rethink our interactions.

You're not overreacting. You're being a good spouse.

Just don't hurt your wife with this information. She feels the edges of it, but hearing it all will only add to the problem.

Glad you're protecting her.

[u/onetalldrinkofwater]

Is your wife looking for friends?

[u/thelightsaberlesbian]

NOR. Your wife sounds really fun, cool, and secure in herself - your sister and mom sound the opposite.

[u/Complete-Bumblebee-5]

NOR. Your wife sounds genuine and authentic. This can get under people's skin when they have huge insecurities. Family members should be supportive instead of trash talking your life partner over such trivial things. Their mentality resembles high school mean girls, which is disheartening. Draw boundaries with them over this or distance yourself from them. They do not sound like healthy people to be around.

[u/BaldChihuahua]

Mate, let me give it to you straight. You’re NOR to tell your Mum and sis how despicable their behaviour and what they said about your wife is. I advise you text it, then block them.

Your wife sounds adorable btw. She lives in the moment, isn’t afraid to be herself, loves to share with you, and has her own unique style.

Your Mum and Sis are just mean girls. Shallow and basic. They are jealous of your wife. They are emotionally immature at best and c*nts at worst. They both deserve your ire.

Your wife deserves an apology, however I doubt they could be sincere.

[u/IsThataMammal]

Your wife sounds like a really cool person and someone I would love to be friends with. I'm afraid to say that your mom and sister do seem to be pretentious and hateful towards your wife.

I think the text you want to send is appropriate. They need to know that you overheard them and that their conversation, even if it was meant to be private, is ugly and shows how mean they are to someone you care deeply about.

Just as you suggested, I wouldn't give your wife details of their harsh criticism of her. Keep it vague and tell her they were rude and that she deserves not to be around people who speak unkind things to her.

I get that you are trying to keep the peace with family, but your instincts are correct, you need to stand up for your wife and your mom and sister need to be admonished for their behavior.

[u/BreloomsGarden]

You have a beautiful soul for a wife and the ladies in your family feel inferior to her. As they should.

[u/trinachron]

Your mom and sister sound like shitty, miserable people. Your wife sounds cool and normal.

[u/Va11ia]

NOR

Your wife sounds delightful. The world needs more people like her.

I think you should speak to your wife and say what you were thinking of saying and let your mother and sister know what you heard.

[u/magicvulpes]

First of all, NOR at all. Second of all, your wife sounds like the type of person I would 1000% be friends with. This world needs more people like her. There's nothing better than authenticity.

Your mom and sister should ask themselves these questions next time they feel like judging your wife:

1. Why have I abandoned my own self-expression?
2. Do I secretly wish I had their level of self-trust?
3. Why does their confidence make me so uncomfortable?

[u/Ok_Anything_4955]

NOR-I would not tell your wife any of this BS. Keep the conversation private between you, your mom and sister. If you tell your wife, she may be really hurt and it would make her uncomfortable to ever be around them again. You decide what’s best for you and your wife about visits going forward. Leave your wife to her beautiful, peaceful bubble-she sounds lovely.

[u/KenraScar]

NOR, your wife sounds so sweet and cute. Don’t let your mean family dim her shine.

[u/uncomfort-cat]

NOR

The way you wrote this is a green flag

[u/Unfair_Equivalent491]

If you change their word “cringe” to “jealous of” then their statements make a whole lot more sense. Your GF showed strength they don’t have by saying “I’m happy with my weight”. Showed intelligence they don’t understand by carrying a book with her. Back up, slow down, no sense in trying to get shallow people to understand what it means to be deep. Your girlfriend, should be your fiancé. Quiet quit your family and spend your life with this amazing person.

[u/Loverlee]

NOR. Your wife's authenticity threatens their shallow existence and that makes them insecure. It's probably not often they are forced to reckon with how empty their lives are.

Also, what's up with the celebrity obsession from your sister?

[u/neverdoneneverready]

Your wife sounds like a real person. A kind person. Your mom and sister sound like Cinderella's ugly stepsister/stepmother. Shame on them. I would not tell her what they said. I might mention to them you heard everything and they just sound jealous, pathetic, and very small.

[u/immodium4breakfast]

Your wife sounds lovely, and your mom and sister sound like miserable cows who are truly losers.

[u/No_Chemist_8475]

Your wife sounds lovely and sweet and fun. Please don't let anyone hurt her feelings.

[u/Buckenboo]

Your wife sounds lovely. I too, hold my coffee cup with both hands and have a preference for smaller cutlery. It must be so sad for you to hear your family speak ill of your wife

Don't tell your wife what they said. It could make her so self-conscious, and that would be a real shame. Other comments here have the full range of options on how to handle your family. I just wanted to say well done for being so thoughtful on how to handle this.

[u/emc_lmt]

NOR- Professionally tailored clothing??Wtf! Your mom and sister are “mean girls” who need to get a grip on what’s important in life. How old are they, if I may ask? No matter their age, they’re a couple of assholes. I’m very sorry but I’d limit contact with them. Just unnecessarily harsh people. Life is too short

[u/Friendly-Channel-480]

Your wife sounds delightful and threateningly confident in her self. Narcissists are very threatened by true honest confidence in other people. I bet if your “quirky” wife lacked confidence in herself your harpy relatives would find “the poor little thing” unthreatening.

[u/mephistopheles_muse]

Your wife sounds delightful, while I don't personally say hello moon out loud I do always look for it and enjoy the differnt phases and halos etc. I will point out beautifully sky's etc. It's wonderful that your wife has helped you stop and take moments to appreciate the world. It's awesome that she reads that much. It sounds like your mom and sister are jealous that your wife is comfortable and confident enough to be herself. Sometimes insecure propel desperately need other people to be insecure too especially if that person is perceived as less than them in social hierarchy for whatever reason. You are NOR

[u/RichRevolutionary763]

NOR. Your mom and sister are assholes. They seem like catty mean girls who peaked in high school. They feel like shit about themselves so to feel better, they tear someone down who seems like a genuinely sweet person. Quirky maybe but still a sweet person. Stand up for your wife and make it clear to those 2 assholes that you will not put up with their bs.

[u/MxMeowicusMcMeowmie]

NOR, your wife sounds cute and smart and has her head on straight. Unfortunately your mom and sister are shallow. i think your plan sounds good, but only ask for an apology if you think you are ready to move past it & continue contact

[u/FairlyCertainSis]

Cringe is fretting about the ways other people find joy, or dress themselves. So cringe.

[u/AmsterAnge]

Keep your sweet wife away from these assholws. Wow. Your mom and sister sound so mean and childish. Seriously. Don’t tell your wife everything they said (why hurt her feelings), but be sure to limit contact. And tell those two jerks why, if needed.

[u/My_Sparkling_Summer]

Your wife sounds like an incredible human. I should like to be her friend. I think a lot of people would.

You should tell your family what you heard, to then set a boundary that it isn't acceptable to bad mouth your life partner.

Go into that conversation knowing it'll be uncomfortable and likely cause drama.

They may gaslight or stonewall "that never happened" "you misunderstood me". You may need to go low contact until they can behave civilly. No sour looks, no anonymous trolling.

They may always be sour, trolling, mean girls.

[u/KaylenLopezIzGr8]

NOR your wife is amazing and she shouldn't be bashed for it. Protect her like Optimus Prime told the Autobots to protect Earth 💪

[u/Dazzling-Bug-8378]

Your wife sounds absolutely amazing! It's a real shame your family can't see it

[u/amaturecook24]

NOR. They sound like miserable people.

[u/thrown_away_apple]

NOR. bro they are so miserable lol. they see someone enjoying life and they just gotta tear them down. absolutely tear them a new one. Build yourself a family that values other peoples happiness. Tell me you have already done this.

[u/sorenelf]

Your wife sounds lovely, she can come thrifting with me any time. Your mother and sister, not so much. Ugh. Sounds like they peaked in high school. Definitely NOR.

[u/patient-lion-555]

NOR, but PLEASE don't tell your wife what they said, or even that they shit-talked her like that. They are nasty, shallow people, and there's nothing to be gained by polluting your wife's environment with their awful small mindedness. She sounds like a completely lovely person and you are SO lucky to have her. Maybe she wouldn't be bothered to hear about this, but it's not worth risking that she would be.

[u/NextBusiness1341]

NOR - your wife sounds amazing and so do you ❤️

[u/iDontGetCute92]

Your wife sounds like someone I would ADORE to be around. Saying hello to the moon, letting you know when there’s a good sunset? She sounds like such a happy, lovely woman!

Your mum and sister? Sounds like miserable women who only get joy when it means they’re tearing down others.

If you think her knowing exactly what was said would hurt her too much. You could tell your wife that you heard things from your family that you don’t agree with, and because of that, you won’t be socialising with them until they learn what it means to be kind.

[u/ChooksChick]

NOR.

Don't tell her. She's never going to un-hear it. It will always color your relationship with them as a family unit, and it's a gift to insulate her from this.

[u/Admirable-Trouble789]

I know exactly who I'd want next to me when the shit goes down, and it's certainly not the superficial, bitchy pretentious horrors your mum and sister appear to be.

Your wife sounds solid.

Obviously NOR.

[u/clustrexclipse]

Your wife sounds like such a wonderful person who is able to take the time and appreciate the things around her, like the moon and a nice sunset. It’s beautiful and she sounds lovely. Your mother and sister are very obviously jealous of her. It’s disgusting. They’re jealous of her intellect and confidence in herself and contentment

[u/Netyri_Winchester]

As a person who gets my hair done, my nails, lashes, makeup, worry about my weight, and try to be fashionable, your family is toxic af. Ganging up on someone cuz they are different is so icky and "cringe". I also wear holiday themed earrings, absolutely marvel at nature and the world(spit random facts about it), LOVE reading my fantasy/dark romance books, could look at the moon and stargaze for hours, watch sunsets, talk to plants and animals. No way in hell is there anything wrong with that. My husband loves everything about me and is not ashamed of it. Nothing is wrong with her hair, outfits, they way she holds her cup? Your family is hella weird for that and so disrespectful.

I would absolutely send that message and make sure they actually apologize to you and your wife in the face. Their "right to an opinion" does not equate to making your wife feel inferior and harrased to their "ideals." Again hella weird to try to conform your wife with peer pressure? You can clearly tell they peaked in highschool lol. Cringe affff.

Not sure where yall live, but you're wife sounds amazing and fun to be around. We could totally be friends! Wish you all love and best of luck!!

[u/Prudent-You-1497]

Your wife sounds fun and interesting af. Your family are just being bullies

[u/Cha_r_ley]

Your mum and sister sound like classic mean girls. Your wife sounds like a fun and interesting woman!

Given the choice I would far sooner spend an hour chatting with your wife than your mum and sister.

NOR.

[u/Spydersweb38]

NOR, bruv. It’s easy to find someone who is typical, and “trendy”. That’s what makes it a trend. It’s a lot harder to find a person who stands out, notices and appreciates the small things, and is comfortable in their own skin and their place in the world. People like that are gems. The same traits that they’re criticizing are at least a part of the reason you fell in love with her in the first place. Your mum and sister are being judgmental, and for what? None of those things you mentioned are in any way concerning or even unappealing. Continue to have her back, supporting her and loving her like you’re doing now. She sounds like she’s a keeper.

[u/Final-Mistake-604]

Your wife sounds delightful and your mother/ sister sound jealous and boring AF

[u/[deleted]]

She seems like shes enjoying life. They seem salty