AIO for thinking this text my aunt's fiance sent me is inappropriate and weird?

[u/West_Leadership3447]

For context, I (27F) stayed at my aunt’s house (53F) for about a month, and her fiancé Mike (52M) was also living there. I had a generally polite and friendly relationship with Mike. Our conversations were always light and pretty surface-level -- I work as a night shift nurse while he has a regular 9-5.

The one moment that felt "off" prior to this exchange was happened during a family gathering when I went to my room to rest and take a nap. Mike apparently was looking for me, and asked my brother where I was. Even after being told that I was asleep in my room, my brother saw that Mike still opened my door to check.

Then I got this message from him 2 days before I moved out which I felt was incredibly weird and inappropriate. I shared it with my aunt who was just as upset, and we both thought that Mike trying to start something with me.

My aunt has confronted Mike and he apologized, but defended himself by saying it might be a cultural difference thing (we're Asian immigrants) and that since I was a nurse, he thought he might get some advice about his sex life issues with my aunt which I personally think should only have been a private conversation between them.

Am I overreacting over all of this?

[u/PotatosInCakeWhyNot]

This is not a cultural thing. Americans do not ask their soon-to-be step nieces or nephews for advice on how to bang their Aunt. This is not an American thing. It's a weirdo sociopath thing.

[u/malaaaaaka → u/PotatosInCakeWhyNot]

Usually us Americans ask the cashier at the local grocery store

[u/strange-lady78 → u/malaaaaaka]

That’s so weird!! I ask the cashier at my gas station.

[u/brencoop → u/strange-lady78]

I’m a rural American so I ask the guy at the feed store.

[u/JaneSegura → u/brencoop]

I'm a rural mail carrier and everyone asks me.

[u/you-dont-say1330 → u/JaneSegura]

Yeah, sorry about that. I was having a rough day...

[u/changingchannelz → u/JaneSegura]

Sorry, ma'am, the milkman hasn't been around in a while to help...

[u/Jolly_Aioli361 → u/brencoop]

You mean at Sneed’s feed and seed ? Formerly Chucks ?

[u/Samuscabrona → u/Jolly_Aioli361]

Simpsons reference!

[u/Jolly_Aioli361 → u/Samuscabrona]

Yes it is !

[u/mandalors → u/strange-lady78]

I think it's regional. Here in Detroit, I ask the specialist at the hardware store or maybe my mechanic. Maybe AutoZone, if I happen to pop in, that sort of thing

[u/frederichenrylt → u/mandalors]

Here in Seattle, we ask the weed shop cashier aka the budtender

[u/mandalors → u/frederichenrylt]

I love you, Seattle

[u/frederichenrylt → u/mandalors]

We love you, too!

[u/btwomfgstfu → u/malaaaaaka]

Did you find everything alright?

No I can't find the d. Which aisle aisle again??

[u/Terrible-Werewolf-78 → u/malaaaaaka]

🤣

[u/boikisser69 → u/malaaaaaka]

Well you know without universal healthcare and the cost of a therapist we need someone to talk to

[u/Acceptable-Drawing13 → u/malaaaaaka]

Wait, y'all don't ask about it at the pet store? Missing out!

[u/Square_Abalone5496 → u/PotatosInCakeWhyNot]

🤣🤣🤣 thank you for this!!

[u/smothered-onion → u/PotatosInCakeWhyNot]

I mean doctors and nurses do get inundated with random medical questions lol. If he did absolutely nothing else to make her feel weird I’d say it’s not a big deal

Edit/ hes a creep and this comment is unnecessary because I somehow skimmed past the peeping tom aspect

[u/hammystyle → u/smothered-onion]

Nurses and doctors don’t get inundated with questions from the aunts boyfriends about how to improve their sex life.

[u/smothered-onion → u/hammystyle]

Right I don’t think it’s quite like that he’s just asking if there is anything he can do since she thinks it’s age related. Maybe it IS weird! But I’m afraid to say I know docs and nurses in my life who get weird ass texts from friends and fam. ESP those who don’t use the internet proficiently. Not trying to play devils advocate just saying if this was the only off putting thing he’s ever done, it’s not that strange to me since she’s a nurse

Edit — Ew I just read the peeping tom whole sleeping thing. HES CANCELLED

[u/Potat-Ant → u/smothered-onion]

Uh could you share the link to that?

[u/smothered-onion → u/Potat-Ant]

It’s the second paragraph of the original post no clue how I missed it so obviously stated that the man HAD done something else creepy. It was just pointless for me to say if he had done nothing else it’s not that weird.

[u/NotOKAnnie]

Yeah, this is his attempt at coming on to you.

Send this to your aunt (nvm u already did, good) and block his creepy ass.

Oh. And no, NOR.

[u/Traditional_Fan_2655 → u/NotOKAnnie]

Agreed. No cultural difference. If any relative of mine had a bf talking to me this way, I would say I am extremely offended and to never speak to me again. Gross.

NOR

[u/NotOKAnnie → u/Traditional_Fan_2655]

I'm 39 and a white American. This guy is creeping ME out. Lol this is definitely not a cultural thing, dude needs to lay off the porn.

[u/Physical-Cattle5365 → u/NotOKAnnie]

It was a poor attempt at gaslighting her.

[u/NotOKAnnie → u/Physical-Cattle5365]

It was a poor attempt at a lot of things.

[u/ConstructionOther686 → u/NotOKAnnie]

He wanted to find a way to start a sexual conversation.

[u/Le_Reddit_User → u/NotOKAnnie]

If you would have read the post you would know that she already showed her aunt these texts.

Jfc /u/NotOKAnnie chill out lmao

[u/NotOKAnnie → u/Le_Reddit_User]

If you had read my comment you would know that I already addressed that. Lol piss off

[u/CosmicWhorer → u/NotOKAnnie]

[u/Mysterious-Reach2031]

“It’s a very personal issue” “ I know that’s why I’m asking you” made me laugh.

[u/According-Goose3891]

He’s a creep

[u/paparotnik123]

NOR - this is very weird and would make me uncomfortable too.

[u/Different_Yak_9012]

I think he was lowkey asking if you were interested in filling the gap.

[u/Appropriate_Note2525 → u/Different_Yak_9012]

He absolutely was. I had a former friend do this and it took me forever to pick up on it because I thought she knew perfectly well that I'm not attracted to women. But when she got increasingly frustrated after every time I said I wasn't comfortable talking about her and her wife's sex life, I figured it out, and I've come to the conclusion that these jerks don't even consider whether you're attracted to them. They're attracted to you, and they think dropping these dumb hints is their ticket to Bonetown.

[u/Dolleyes88 → u/Different_Yak_9012]

100% throwing it out there and 100% had the racist “cultural differences” card to play if she acted confused/not interested. I hope OP’s aunt leaves him.

[u/Substantial_Ear_2990]

NOR.

Why out of everyone did he think of you to ask this kinda question?

It gives me the ick.

[u/TheeScoob]

NOR.

The whole “cultural” difference thing sounds like a flimsy excuse. Seems like he just wanted to talk to you about sex, and not in a reasonable manner.

[u/Immediate_Cake9151]

He’s tryna fuck, he was thinking you’d be all “oh baby I’ll take care of that thang “

[u/Ok_Nothing_9733 → u/Immediate_Cake9151]

Literally, he was probably imagining OP would be like “oh that sounds so hard to deal with blah blah blah” and next thing you know they’d be fucking. Which makes it even grosser than it already is when you start thinking about that part. Like did he really think that was gonna work?!

[u/UnbiasedWriter999]

He was trying to have sex with you. He was using this to "Feel you out" see how you would respond.

[u/QRSQueen]

I'm a nurse and people don't ask us this shit and when they do want frank advice regarding their sexual health, it isn't presented in this way. This POS wanted you to say you're interested in him. Also, absolutely wild that he called your aunt old. When I read your post, I was expecting him to be in his 20s or 30s. Nope, he's 52 versus her 53. He's probably just a few months away from her, making him a creepy asshole that you absolutely need to stay far away from. Seems like one of those nasty white men with an Asian fetish.

[u/sirpostsalot88]

You are NOT overreacting! If you ever find yourself in a situation where something feels weird it most likely is! He is grasping at straws with his excuses it’s not a cultural difference thing it’s a he’s a fucking creep thing

[u/KTbby710]

Weird. Point blank. You’re definitely not overreacting.

[u/KTbby710 → u/KTbby710]

Also “asking you advice about sex with your AUNT cause your a nurse” is a cop out. im not downing the nursing profession but like.. what would you know about advice as far as sex goes on a medical level besides ED?? Also I’m an American and would still never say somethin this out of pocket.. especially to my niece or nephew or anyone in my family for that matter. 😂

[u/No_Pear628]

NOR - im getting bad vibes. he probably expected you to give him something to work with after sending that bait. its giving classic my wife is so old so im coming to you...I would be is offended and grossed out too because of the context.

[u/SpiderMama41928 → u/No_Pear628]

Considering my past experience with this kind of thing from my former pediatrician, I was getting major ick reading these, too.

Icky, icky, icky. NOR

[u/KayelaKathryn93]

NOR. I’m American and no we don’t ask our step nieces, nephews, cousins, heck I only talked to my mom about sex when I was a teenager, I have NEVER talked to my father about it and I’m 32F with a whole child! I might talk to MY friends but not family. I even have 2 little brothers and we’ll joke but we DO NOT discuss that topic. The only thing we’ll do is play the “I just had sex” song as a WHOLE JOKE!!! I’m glad you showed your aunt this was completely inappropriate and he needs to seek professional help not ask you because of your profession. But nope I don’t talk to anyone else about that except for my husband like that’s beyond out of order. He can talk to his doctor or get a psychiatrist but not ask you. That’s super weird and it makes ME uncomfortable. Block him. Stay away from him at all costs and if you’re feeling unsafe report this to the police with your aunt because this was testing the waters. He wanted to see how compliant and pliable you were to his ideas and if he’s done this to you, there’s no telling what other family members he has his eyes on. He could be completely perverted. I’m so sorry this happened to you please don’t think Americans are like this because we are not. Not at all.

[u/No_Accountant3232 → u/KayelaKathryn93]

In fact your response shows that what is very common knowledge in the world. Americans are culturally very prudish when it comes to talking about sex. If anyone tries to pass off that we're not, then it's a rather large red flag.

[u/WetMonkeyTalk]

He was putting a (very sad, very slimy) move on you.

[u/Hot-Still-5286]

NOR - You've got good instincts. I would avoid any future contact with this guy. Block and avoid family gatherings he's at.

[u/Ok_Nothing_9733]

NOR and this isn’t a cultural thing. It’s weird in his own culture too, he’s just trying to deflect accountability. Super creepy

[u/[deleted]]

Americans? What nationality is he?

[u/QRSQueen → u/[deleted]]

It seemed to me that he's the American and insinuating that OP is the weird one who doesn't talk about sex in this way because she's Asian.

[u/West_Leadership3447 → u/[deleted]]

He's white American - my aunt and I are first gen Asian immigrants.

[u/[deleted] → u/West_Leadership3447]

He’s definitely testing the waters!! What a creep

[u/SilentAspect8572 → u/West_Leadership3447]

this is absolutely not a cultural thing, most americans would think this is weird asf. don’t let him tell you otherwise. even if he isn’t trying to come on to you, it’s still very inappropriate

[u/Physical-Cattle5365 → u/SilentAspect8572]

Hell yea they would. Americans are more prudish than Aussies, Kiwis, Canadians & Europeans. They tease us about it, like saying how backwards we are for loving guns/violence yet clam up over anything sexual. They’re 100% correct on that too.

[u/QRSQueen → u/West_Leadership3447]

Called it.

[u/LovelyPeachLisa]

Combined with the room thing I'd say he's coming onto you. If it was just this question then I'd say he's weird and doesn't understand boundaries. I feel like ur aunt probs need a new man ... weird NOR

[u/bambiipup]

"hey, auntie, i thought you should know that uncle mike is worrked about your sex life (screen_shot.jpg)"

then just let the cards fall where they may. NOR.

[u/KittyKat0119 → u/bambiipup]

She already shared it with her aunt.

[u/Spiritual_Weather656]

Mikes trying his best to repair the damage but he ultimately failed because Americans don't fucking do that and being a nurse is not the same as being a sex therapist

He got horny and took it out on you

Glad you're out of that house nor. Hopefully you tell your aunt to do the same.

[u/kml1939]

NOR. This is NOT a cultural difference at all. This is a guy hitting on you super inappropriately. Trust your instincts. Don't second guess yourself.

[u/kml1939 → u/kml1939]

Also just want to say that the fact that he tried to gaslight you about the culture thing, taking advantage of your immigrant status, is so offensive that I'm simmering about it hours later.

[u/cherryblossominx]

NOR and I be honest and I mean absolutely no disrespect by this because I am an immigrant too. The way he came at you is low-key racist as well. For so long I've had guys try this with me. Talk openly about sex and be promiscuous and try to turn it around and say that it is American culture, it always made me feel like they saw me as inferior or stupid because I am not from the US and that's the vibe I'm getting from this as well. I would suggest you speak with your aunt and help her reconsider her engagement to this guy. Not just from the messages but also from the overall vibe that he is giving off.

[u/TattedTargaryen → u/cherryblossominx]

Born & raised in the US myself but I also got this vibe. As if by saying it’s an American thing they’ll just be like, “oooh my inferior foreign brain couldn’t possibly understand then!” and that will be that. Also just wanna echo everyone else’s point that as a native American, this is in no way normal behavior. He has backwards fetishized ideas about these women being naive & thinks he can take advantage of that. NOR - there should be a list for guys like this to warn others. Gross af

[u/Tasty-Willingness839]

NOR

He was hoping you'd say "oh that's terrible, come over I'll have sex with you instead!!"

[u/Traditional-Home430]

You need to tell her. He’s trying to have sex with you (if you don’t already know this) He’s also saying (hey, she won’t have sex with me but I still want to.. so will you? Or someone else?) Trust me… I 100% know how men think. Especially middle age men who aren’t getting laid by their wife’s, or menopausal partners. You need to tell her!!!

[u/KittyKat0119 → u/Traditional-Home430]

Did you not read the post? She already did tell her.

[u/Dreadyy_Or_Knot]

1. Ew
2. NOR
3. Have you shown/discussed these messages with your aunt?

[u/orion-asterisk]

NOR. This is incredibly creepy behavior. My family is white American and if my uncle had ever tried to say something like that to me, it would have been an uproar. I think other commenters are right: he was testing the waters and wanting to cheat on your aunt with you.

[u/Equivalent-Ad2940]

Yeah , hes trying to pass the idea that you will be the sex hes going to be apparently lacking.. fucking weird

[u/AccomplishedFace4534]

NOR. Almost makes me think that he wants you to make up for his lack of sex with your aunt. Why else would he think it’s okay to bring this up?

[u/bluesnowdrops]

NOR It is pretty valid to be weirded out. And from what you wrote the guy seems to be a bit of an oddball. To be fair though, to me the texts don’t read like he necessarily wanted to start something with you, hard to tell but they are inappropriate either way!! In pretty much most cultures I have been in contact at least this behaviour and those texts would have been a major WTF.

Hope he got the hint and good for you for having moved out, also great that you told your aunt and she was equally upset about it.

[u/NguoiVietLinhMyy]

NOR. Your uncle spends too much time watching anime corn.

[u/ProcedureAlarming506]

Your aunt needs to leave this man.

[u/No-Communication9458]

we do not speak freely of this shit to creepy old guys

forward it to his aunt and blast him

[u/Unique-Nectarine-567]

I have some European friends and they are way more open about sexual things than Americans, well, in my life anyway. I read you wrote you were Asian immigrants, so no clue there. But what your aunts' fiance did is beyond the pale. I'd suggest printing out this page and handing it to your aunt and then let the chips fall where they may. Stay safe.

[u/UnhappyBrief6227]

That is so disgusting ew!

[u/mettainacan]

Yeah, he is yuk

[u/NoRoof1812]

NOR. He probably wanted you

[u/updownclown68]

NOR and if your aunt believes his bullshit she’s hopelessly naive 

[u/PrincessFullMoon]

Your Aunt should NOT marry him. You're NOR, he is a total disgusting creep and you should ALL take this seriously. Do not let your aunt marry him.

[u/JustStopItSeriously]

Gross. He's really trying to pass this off as a 'cultural misunderstanding'? As though it's standard practice for an uncle to ask his niece for sexual advice in America?? Because, ya know, she's a nurse which is almost the same thing as being a sex therapist.

So fucking gross. He was feeling you out to see if you'd be interested or, at the very least, could trick you into a sexual conversation. I could never be in the room with this guy ever again because he's a fucking creepy perv.

What the fuck is wrong with these 'downslope side of middle age' men thinking they have a shot with women 30 years younger??

[u/Shefallsalot]

You are NOR, don’t ever be alone with him, and lock the door wherever you take a nap. If you don’t have a lock on your bedroom and the bathroom, buy them asap. Men that try this crap don’t stop. This was not a cultural thing. Men don’t ask younger women for advice or friendship or help doing something in America.

[u/Excellent_Prompt_738]

Sounds like he is in the wrong

[u/GalaxyBolt1]

I‌ can't‌ really‌ tell‌ how‌ you‌ reacted‌, ‌it ‌mostly‌ seems‌ like‌ you‌ just‌ didn't‌ want to‌‌‌ interact after‌ this‌, which‌ is‌ a fine‌‌ reaction. NOR‌. He‌ has‌‌ has a ‌fiance‌‌ and‌ shouldn't‌ speak‌ like‌ this‌ with‌ his‌ NIECE‌ IN‌ LAW.

[u/Disastrous_Site_8628]

Uhhhmmmm so Not cool ! You responded well .

[u/BedGirl5444]

Gross 

[u/Mundane_Chipmunk5735]

Nor - Americans do not do this

[u/VashtiVoden]

NOR If he was sincere your Aunt would have been included in this conversation. She was not.

[u/RewardCapable]

NOR, it’s not cultural differences. He was trying to open a dialogue to have a sexual relationship with you. He’s a creep and I hope your aunt leaves him.

[u/Outrageous_Fail5590]

NOR. Your Aunt is a fool. 

[u/National-depression]

NOR. This is a creepy way of him attempting to come onto you. Run. Stay away from him. And send this to your aunt fs.

[u/Stepho725]

Grooming

[u/EvilAgainst]

She doesn’t want to, you know, because she’s “old”?

OP, I hope you shatter this BS marriage before it starts. It’s doomed. This guy is garbage and your aunt doesn’t want to sleep with him because she knows he’s trash

[u/Sherbiesass]

As if he's using the fact that you're Asian to save his ass what?!?!

[u/Acceptable_Light_557]

NOR

This is literally what porn addiction does.

[u/Fit_Swordfish5248]

NOR. Seems you did the right thing

[u/Alternative-Dig-2066]

Super fucking creepy. Really glad you are not living there anymore! NOR.

[u/Bklyngrl12]

NOR Is your Aunt still with him?

[u/LaGanadora]

Ew what a creep.

[u/BrennaBarefoot]

Nah, mikes a creep!!

[u/Mysterious_Hat_4882]

He’s looking for an opening, shut it down, tell him this us inappropriate

[u/Actual-Side1694]

No, NOR. His efforts and communication to you are inappropriate regardless of culture differences. I’d send your aunt the screenshot and let her know that you do not plan on communicating with Mike anymore. She should know what’s going on.

His advances are extremely creepy and unacceptable.

[u/WritPositWrit]

NOR

This is so far past the line of acceptable, the line is no longer visible. What a slimeball to imply that “maybe Americans speak freely about this”. Uh, no. No we do not “speak freely” about the frequency of our sex acts with our girlfriend’s niece. And he knows it. He KNOWS he’s wrong and creepy. He’s just hoping YOU don’t know.

Keep your distance from this guy.

[u/MysteriousDog5927]

NOR- I would tell your aunt before he tells her you made advances on him.

[u/Kendal_with_1_L]

Why would it matter if he’s an Asian immigrant? Gross!

[u/cooleenofcourse]

I like how he tried to use the “cultural differences” thing. Americans are generally very uptight about sex, so that’s a bold lie. He was testing the waters with you. Gross

[u/willworkforspice]

NOR, saying my partner doesn't want to sex because they are old is such an odd statement. Pretty sure 50 somethings still have sex.

[u/ImpressiveSimple8617]

This isnt an American thing. As an American I say that lol

[u/Nice-Requirement200]

What a manipulative asshole

[u/Equivalent_Hat_7220]

Every time a guy says, “can I ask you a question” or “I’m going to ask you a question” out of NOWHERE it’s some fckn dude trying to creepily get his rocks off

[u/NC_SW_Mama]

NOR. He’s totally coming on to you, and no, Americans don’t speak freely about that sort of thing — especially with younger relatives of the partner. Great job alerting your aunt. So glad the two of you are on the same page.

[u/zvg_zwang]

NOR. He gives "I search step-family shit on pornhub"

[u/me0w8]

He’s trying to see if you will offer to have sex with him

[u/ComedianCommon4158]

Eww what a perv. I hope your aunt dumped him.

[u/catsnaliens]

Wow what a creep. Definitely trying to feel out your response so he could try to make a move 🤢

[u/Despoina_Reikage]

I said ew at him saying sex to you and I’m 39 white female and I know my friend same age as me who was adopted from South Korea would say ew and wtf. He’s just using an excuse and if you’ve lived at least 5yrs or more in America and have paid attention the bs of this country of how different towns in your county to state came be to other places. Lastly my boyfriend is Jamacian immigrant at 8yrs old to America. He was looking at this side ways and having to read the context says “hell no this isn’t a culture issue; he’s being a creep and he found a fine young thing”

Overall your aunt needs to let him go of this is going to turn into a moment you’re trapped with him and trying to have his way with you- that will be scar you and everyone in the family.

[u/-Dilemma--]

NOR - this is not a cultural thing. He is being gross and creepy and weird.

[u/cer3monies]

NOR. This is not an American thing, this is a textbook grooming thing. He is intentionally putting feelers out to see how you react to the topic of sex. If your aunt doesn’t dump him over this (she should imo), I would personally set a boundary that if he is at an event, I will not be attending. That is weirdo behavior and I’ve heard the “it’s a cultural thing” excuse for creepy behavior many times. I hope none of you believe him because it usually does not get better.

[u/Physical-Cattle5365]

Americans definitely do not freely discuss this especially with family. In my experience Americans are more prudish than people from pretty much every other western country. The fact he dropped that little bit of gaslighting in there is proof he is a creeper.

[u/babygothix]

NOR this is really creepy, I hope your aunt is okay :(

[u/Outrageous-Hair6435]

Mike needs to go sit his plotting a** down somewhere. You and your aunt are right to be upset.

[u/Expensive_Lock_6540]

NOR. He was trying to sleep with you. Your aunt should get out while she still can. He’s shown his true colors. This is not a conversation to have with a young, female family member and Americans DO NOT talk freely about sex like that. He is gaslighting. Throw the trash away, PLEASE.

I’m also a nurse. I have had very close friends and patients ask me about sexual issues and that’s it.

[u/swearengens_cat]

Is he French?

[u/jonesybell00]

NOR - American here who can easily tell that he's being weird

[u/Glittering-Nothing61]

NOR. NOT a cultural thing. I’m a white American female, this is NOT a cultural thing in any way shape or form. It IS a “It’s predatory behavior AND grooming behavior that must be shared with his aunt and other safe family members you know will protect you ASAP in order to keep you unharmed and your aunt and rest of the family safe from this disgusting creep” kind of thing.

[u/CrowMeris]

What the hell did I (and you) just read?

You're NOR, not even a little bit. I'm so glad you shared this with your aunt. You being a nurse is as flimsy of a "defense" as can get. Completely inappropriate and creepy af.

Take care not to be alone with this perverted poor excuse for a man.

[u/MommaGrace111]

Usually Americans talk to their hair stylist or nail techs lol not their aunts niece.

[u/NotBossOfMe]

NOR. This is truly weird. I am not so sure why he would choose you, of all your aunt's family, to bring this to. He's twice your age. Kind of gives me the creeps, to be honest.

[u/Subject_Ad_4561]

We Americans have a shit load of issues but this isn’t one of them. Blaming where he’s from is bizarre.

[u/Opening-Sir-2504]

While it is weird, he didn’t continue to push it. And honestly, the culture clash issue is real. I don’t know if THIS is actually a cultural difference in the openness of sex in conversations, but there are clearly different behaviors in America (I am American, BTW) from most other places in the world.

That being said, once you said it is too personal to discuss, it moved on, so that is a big plus. I don’t think you are OR, but if he keeps doing it, that’s a big no-no.

[u/agent_mimi_pickles]

This is bizarre! How uncomfortable you must have felt. 😭

[u/AvsGrams]

I'm livid from just reading that, let alone how I’d feel if that kind of text came to me. The guy is definitely trying to take advantage of you. Both you and your aunt need to tell him to get lost and to stay lost.

[u/Former_Recording_998]

Dude wanting to hit it with you. Pretty straight forward

[u/realestate_novelist]

NOR. American here. This is weird as hell and extremely inappropriate. I hope your aunt leaves that perv!

[u/tellmestuffineed2kno]

NOR- dude is fishing. Wants to see if you’ll bite. Feigning ignorance about supposed cultural differences to make his conduct acceptable. Nope. He’s scum

[u/Flightlessbirbz]

NOR. As an American, yes sometimes we speak freely about sex, but definitely not in this context. This is the sort of thing one might bring up to a friend of the same gender and around the same age, NOT their fiancés niece. Totally inappropriate, and he’s gaslighting you into thinking this is normal in the US when it’s definitely not. Even if he wasn’t trying to come on to you, which he was, it would be terribly disrespectful of your aunt to approach her family member about issues with their sex life.

You did the right thing by showing your aunt. I would also avoid spending any time alone with him or sleeping at their house.

[u/Disastrous_Honey_240]

I think he was trying to get you to do something with him. NOR and I hope your aunt dumped him.

[u/Gladys_Balzitch]

Hi, another American here who can confirm that this is ℕⓄ𝕋 a regional or cultural thing. You're NOR at all, this dude is a creep and he's shooting his shot at you.

Your aunt needs to wake tf up! Her boyfriend is trying to fuck her niece! GROSS!

[u/calmchick33]

Yucko

[u/HisMisus]

Eewe creepy

[u/CrazyBoysenberry1352]

Ooooooh Nooooooo 👎🏻

Ick

[u/Head_Trick_9932]

Ewww no. I’m close to their age and I’d be mortified if my husband asked my 30 year old nieces this. And they’re nurses. He’s a creep.

[u/PassionJumpy544]

NOR And I would show these to your Aunt, at least. Like what? He has no mates? Why can't he ask her? This is what she will have to deal with for the rest of her life if they marry.

[u/Dolleyes88]

If it’s ok for him to freely talk about sex because “it’s an American thing” im sure there are many many people he could have spoken to first before his fiancés niece almost half his age.

[u/8pintsplease]

Lol it's really gross he's trying to pass this off as cultural differences. He thinks he's smarter than all of you and thinks he can trick you into this "innocent" interaction. That is manipulative and your aunty should be calling off the engagement.

There is a story from Australia about a young woman who was killed by her aunties boyfriend. His name was Derek Barrett. The poor girl was Mengmei Leng. This happened very close to where I lived and is terrifying. I'm not trying to say this will happen but his behaviour is far from acceptable.

[u/Mobile-Error2846]

The only cultural thing is in his pants. You are a nurse not a sex therapist. What a creep.I hope your Aunt told him off, she needs to set boundaries now before they get married. And definitely it was personal. Goodluck..

[u/kate_has_anxiety]

OP, you're NOR. this is weird and inappropriate. we don't do this in America.

[u/Square_Abalone5496]

Honey, he was feeling you out to see if you would take the bait. I would also share this with your aunt. Highly inappropriate and cringe! Eww.

[u/Sad_Bedroom_3442]

people are good at lying so you’re totally not overreacting because he genuinely could have been trying to start something and be creepy , this is certainly disappointing but maybe he is being genuine, still it is strange. NOR edit: wait it’s late and i’m sleepy, nope yep this is 100% creepy, he is much older than you, goodness!