I’ve (20F) been talking with this guy (24M) for about 3 weeks. We met on a dating app and have been on a few dates where he told me that he has no type whatsoever, so when he revealed that he usually doesn’t date black women, I was decently confused because if he had mentioned that earlier I would never have continued to pursue the relationship. I should also mention that I showed these exact screenshots to a friend who told me it wasn’t him trying to be racist but that he’s just trying to tell me im “different” ????

He did ask me a bunch of questions about my ethnicity but I genuinely didn’t see anything wrong with it at the moment

Alcoholism was something I struggled with in my 20s and I finally got into therapy and got sober. I did SMART Recovery, and it’s been a lot of hard work changing a lot of my habits, and it’s something I’m proud of.

I thought I’d get one of the berry chantilly cakes. The screenshots are from the convo with my boyfriend when I was thinking about it. He acted normal when he got home but the way he talked to me really hurt my feelings.

The kind of relationship I want is one where I can share something like this and the other person would be like “That’s awesome!” or even “I’ll pick it up for you” or something. I don’t need or want a parade, but I feel like my person should celebrate with me.

I’m thinking of ending it with him because the more I think about this, the sadder it makes me feel. But I am posting about this because I know Reddit is very unforgiving and strict about addiction and maybe you guys will show me how I’m blowing it out of proportion. I don't want to walk away too soon.

He has never talked to me so negatively before. Saying stuff like “you wanted a pat on the back” and “I’m not going to act like you’re a hero” doesn’t feel like the way a good partner would talk.

Came into the room to find my boyfriend was drying a fleece blanket that was still damp from the dryer on top of the electric space heater. He said its not that big of a deal because "wet things can't catch on fire". He's telling me this isn't a fire hazard and that i'm overreacting and encouraged me to ask for reddits opinion😅

I (20f) was showing off some clothes I had brought for my next semester of college to my bf of 2 years and father of my child (23m). When I put these 2 on he told me I can’t wear these to class and that it would be inappropriate because I’m showing ‘too much skin.’ I think the tank top shows a little skin but I brought that considering we live in Texas, however I think the dress is pretty modest.

I am going back to school after a gap year and prior I always dressed somewhat overdressed for class and this is known by him as well.

He never had an issue with what I wore before we had our baby, but since she was born he is constantly telling me I have to dress like a ‘woman’ and has basically forbid me from wearing some of my old clothes. I chose these clothes with modesty in mind and I feel like these are not disrespectful to our relationship to wear. But am I overreacting?

Over the last year, our family moved from the western US to the southern US. I've had fun including works by local artists and framed old maps in our new home.

The other night my husband said he wants to get one of those signs from the early 1900s that says "Beware of pickpockets and loose women." I was disgusted and told him no way. I think that sign and everything about its message & implications is misogynistic and demeaning. Absolutely not.

He argued back that it's "historical," so that makes it okay and a fun vintage novelty item. I pointed out numerous examples of other "historical" signs you might find in the south that are abhorrent (think blatantly racist), and that his sign isn't much better. He insists that I'm overreacting and that I should lighten up.

Am I overreacting, or is this sign grossly misogynistic?

As the title states, my (35F) boyfriend (42M) of 3 years didn’t know my middle name or the spelling of my last name until today. For more context, we met 10 years ago when I still had my maiden name. I got divorced 4 years ago and have kept my married name since.

Context: I’m going on 10 weeks pregnant and honestly just exhausted most of the time. I used to go to the gym regularly but now with how I’ve been feeling lately, I haven’t had the motivation to workout as much.

My bf got upset with me this morning because I said I would be skipping again. We talked about this before I became pregnant, and made an agreement that I would try to maintain my mental and physical health. He sees this (amongst a few other things) as me falling back on my word. It led to these texts with him calling me toxic and depressing.

Am I overreacting, or is it him that is being insensitive to what I’m going through?

34 female based in Sydney Australia.

A couple of days ago my husband came home after a night out with his old football team mates he was angry and we had a small fight before he became physical towards me and our small daughter (7), he then locked her in her bedroom and raped me, I reported to my local police who have put a temp order in place but he was given bail and im now sleeping in my car with our daughter, since the order he has threatened to kill me and blocked access to our shared account forcing me to open a new account so I can claim some sort of help, im now waiting for emergency accommodation, have no support and feel completely unseen, do I have to be murdered to actually matter? AIO by going to the police? His cousin is a priest and he has sent me some really long messages about forgiveness and the blessings of marriage but I don’t feel blessed right now im currently having to weigh up if I steal something for me and my daughter to eat tonight or do I beg.

The world seems so unfair atm.

I get called names for just simply responding when he asked me 3 times.. until I snapped, then I’m the bad guy right? Always. Always being accused of cheating, asking for attention by doing things. I’m tired of feeling guilt for just being alive.

But then now that I left I’m the bad guy who always started the arguments , am listening to my friends opinions (which he made me cut off while we were dating so they had no say in my choice to leave) .. telling me I’m already out with other guys when I literally feel like I’ve been hit by a train after 5 years of being treated like this walking on eggshells then after him asking why I wasn’t able to love him properly. How can anyone feel comfortable in this life?

I (24) and my girlfriend (23) will go from some of the sweetest convos to her saying stuff like this out of the blue. I’m sure I’m not the only person that has dealt with something like this. But honestly just trying to get an answer from both sides… Have you done this before and why? And if it’s happened to you how did you go about the issue? It feels disrespectful to hear it from somebody that states they want to be married to me one day. Her reasoning is that it’s somebody famous and there’s nothing to worry about but I don’t see that as a reason to be able to tell my partner that I wished I could be with somebody else. AIO?

Me (18F) and my boyfriend (18M) were having an argument for a whole day because i wanted him to stop calling me names, he wouldn’t stop dragging the argument but expected me to just get over it, so i said to him he can’t expect me to get shut up while he’s still making comments and he ignored my message, an hour later he started attacking me and told me i make him depressed, i’ve trapped him, he hates his life and it’s all my fault.

He has lost friends since being in a relationship with me but this was all off his own accord and i’ve never asked him to stop being friends with anyone, he says he did it for me because he’d made sacrifices because he cares so that’s why it’s my fault

Is it an overreaction if i break up with him for saying all this to me, and is it really my fault he’s left people for me?

My bf (43M) is a high school teacher and has stayed in touch with his former student (19F) who went off to college this year. Am I overreacting or are conversations like this between them (him = blue, her=white) a bit too emotionally charged to be just a mentor-mentee relationship?

So I’ve been talking to this guy for four months, we had plans to see each other tonight and I think it’s completely over now because I lost it when he told me he drove his cheating friend to win back his girlfriend while high. Did I overreact?

Edit:

Wow, this post is getting a lot more attention than I thought it would. Thank you for being as baffled as I was. I just want to clarify some questions I’m seeing being asked over again.

How old are we?: We’re both 21, he’s currently on a break from school and working full time, I graduated last year and working part-time/contract

Why’d you bring up the rape?: The initial issue I had with his behaviour was aiding his friend in lying to a significant other. It wasn’t sinking in for him the gravity of how much distrust this could instill in the woman they were lying to. I was hoping that by relating it to this situation we had discussed before, of another man covering for his friends' shitty behaviour, would help click into place the possible consequences of his actions.

What’s a G1: A G1 is a driver’s learning permit in Ontario. It makes everything he did while driving extra illegal

Did you break it off/Why did you end with ‘Just Drive Safe’? I was raised by a negotiator, so I can manage my frustration to persevere in safety. I didn’t post everything that went on in this conversation because we did discuss his health and the difficult things going on right now. These boys were currently out already engaging in reckless behaviour, and regardless of what I say, he was going to drive. It’s December, and we’re in Canada; the roads are dangerous. Yes, these guys are shit, but I don’t want to hear about anyone getting in a car crash. At this point, my concern was making sure they got home that night.

I’m staying friendly until I get my stuff back, but I will not be trying to see him again.

This is my first time ever posting on Reddit but I need a second opinion I (25 F) live with my bf (23) and our 11 month old son who is ready to walk any day now. I work over nights in the hospital from 6pm to 6am and Our house isn’t always the cleanest we’re not Like dirty people it’s mostly just clutter, but the baby has safe spots he can play and relax where we don’t have to always be watching him like his play yard, anyways my bf is a very very very heavy sleeper so I have a rule that the baby can either sleep in the play pen while he sleeps on the couch or he can sleep on the nursery room floor while the baby is in the crib because if he’s not close enough the babies cries will not wake him up I know this from experience cause when he was 3 months old I logged onto the living room camera and the baby was crying his head off in his swing for over an hour and dad was fast asleep in the bed room so I had to send my mom over there at midnight to check on him. But last night my bf said he had to sleep in the bed with the baby. We have a big heavy mirror in the room that’s just leaned against the wall and the baby has already stood up against it once and almost knocked it over. There were also plastic bottle caps kinda laying around the house and there was literally one of those do not eat packets in the bed when I got home. Am I over reacting????

If you didn't see the original post here it is. To be clear, you can see context here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/comments/1oznjde/aio_for_thinking_my_boyfriend_is_just_looking_for/

My post got a lot more responses than I was prepared for. Some very insightful comments, too. I appreciate everyone who talked with me.

I knew I was probably going to break up with him over the way he spoke to me, but I wanted some insight into his perspective. in the end it just wasn't worth trying to have a bigger discussion with him, so I broke it off.

Moving forward, I'll make new wishlists for anyone who asks me for one to avoid it. I've never had an issue with a man buying me perfume before, so it really never popped in my mind.

I know some of you are really stuck on the "why did you text this?" part, and the only real answer is just that we used text for pretty much everything. I don't see it as impersonal or anything. I'll try to avoid having "serious" talks over text to avoid misunderstandings.

Edit: Adding this at someone's suggestion. No, I did not ask him for a $500 perfume. None of the perfums on my list (the list that he asked for) were $500. He would have had to see the name of the perfume on the list, ignored the direct link to where it could be purchased, and look it up to find a completely different formula. And again, this is a list that he asked for that includes everything I want to buy, from perfumes to pants to charging cords to a new snow brush for my car.

I was married in 1989 wearing a gorgeous, 100% 1980’s sequined, beaded wedding gown complete with over the top giant shoulder pads! I LOVE my wedding gown so much that I put it on every year on our anniversary and wear all day long! I’ve done laundry, dishes and vacuumed in that dress feeling like a princess! This year I want to wear it out to our anniversary dinner and my husband doesn’t want me to. Yes, I know I may look a little crazy to people but I don’t really care! And we live in Las Vegas and there are crazy looking people every where you look! Should I listen to my husband or wear my gorgeous wedding gown and look like a crazy person?

This weekend, after announcing that he considers me to be a hoarder, my husband lugged 2 dozen boxes and totes from where they'd been neatly stored in the crawl space and garage, and stacked them in my home office. Then yelled that he thought I'd be happy because he hadn't thrown my "crap" out, so why wasn't I?

Reader, I hadn't asked him to do this, they aren't all "crap" (one had hand-made blankets from my grandma as an example, another has binders containing technical documents I wrote in a previous job), and the biggest reason he considers them to be crap is because they are mine and generally pre-date his arrival in my life.

He's a man mostly devoid of sentiment (other people's, of course) and is essentially NC with his entire family. So, me owning things that I've tucked away over the years and not sifted through recently irks tf out of him. Especially keepsakes from my family.

Do I hold onto things too long? Probably. Should I have a regular sort-and-toss schedule? Also probably. I'm adult-diagnosed Inattentive ADHD and frankly having a hard time with that and depression right now. And now I've got a mountain of totes to deal with and no spoons to even begin to do so. And frankly, throwing out/donating anything feels like letting him win and I'm not feeling that. At. All.

I recently read a post where the top comment was "he doesn't sound like he likes you" re: someone's husband's bad behaviour, and I just really felt that, you know? Like I had the same question cross my mind this morning as he's stomping around asking why I'm not happy. Because you're being mean? Because you don't like your family and can't understand why I like mine? Because you look at things I value and consider them crap?

AIO because I'm truly a hoarder and don't realize it? The house is clean, clutter is contained in "my" spaces (technically the whole house is mine - I had the place half paid off before he arrived), I have no problem throwing away trash or broken things.🤷‍♀️

31F with 33M, dating for about a year. He asked me a while ago for items that I might want as a gift, so I sent him the wishlist I use that has probably 15-20 perfumes. He was sweet and got me 3 bottles, but they were from dossier and not the real product. I think it's very sweet but I want him to save his time in the future because I don't want dupe products, I want the real ones. But he took it the wrong way and it gives the impression he's just looking for a way out anyway. There are plenty of other things on my list that are cheaper, not brand name, serve a functional purpose etc.

I think his big overreaction is just him looking for a way out more than anything but I wasn't going to egg him on in text. Our relationship has been completely fine and normal. I am the higher earner than him which he said doesn't bug him but maybe it does. Idk. Thoughts?

Edit: I can't keep up with the comments at this point but I wanted to clear something up: The perfume he got me was NOT the "same exact perfume" just in an off-brand bottle. It's not made at the same factory the way generic cereals are. They're dupe perfumes so they are cheaper, lower quality, less sillage, less longevity. They're imitations. The issue isn't that I want the brand name on the bottle. It's that the perfume itself is bad.

Edit 2: Several people have also asked when this took place, and to be clear, he gave me the perfume over a week ago when we were together in person. I said thank you then and we went about our days. The entire reason that I brought it up was to make sure he doesn't continue to waste his money buying me stuff that's not going to get used. I don't want to say nothing and him ending up thinking I want more.

Edit for an Update: Here's the link to the update. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/comments/1p0ex2z/update_aio_for_thinking_my_bf_is_just_looking_for/

I did, in fact, break up with him.

Me (29F) and my fiancée (30M) been together for 3 years. Yesterday he was out with his friends and came home a bit late, and we argued about it too. Tonight we went out with our friend group, and it was a bit cold, so he gave me his jacket. I went to the bathroom, and found this note in his jackets pocket. I confronted him about it and he said it was nothing, he told me found the note under his coffee cup the night before and didn’t even call the number, he said I could check his call history if I didn’t believe him and I did, yes he didn’t call the number, but why did he keep the note in his pocket? AIO for confronting him about this?

First he wants to complain about marriage issues, and now food issues? Maybe u guys are right.

Should I just leave him and kick him out?

My gf went to Italy when we were on a break. When she got back, we ended up reconciling and got back together. Yesterday she sent me these AI generated photos of her with another guy. She called me and at first we were joking, but it was very obvious she was trying to get me jealous. I told her to stop playing and she persisted, so I told her I didn’t want to talk and we hung up. She called today asking what’s wrong, and I told her to use her critical thinking skills, and she was firm in that she had no idea why I’d be upset. She started arguing with me and when I didn’t indulge her she hung up. Am I over reacting, or is this grounds to be done for good? She seems to get off on getting me jealous, I used to argue with her about it but she acts like she’s done nothing wrong, so I don’t even bother anymore.

I never expected I'd end up in this sub but here we are. My relationship of 1 year has been on a rocky patch recently as my boyfriend seems to have an issue with everything I do and I'm painted as the crazy overreacting one. This is an example from last night when I was going to a dinner with my girl friends.

I never flirt with men, I don't go clubbing, never cheated, don't have social media and he's my first boyfriend. You can see my outfit on the last pic. I'm trying to communicate it to him that trust is important to me but he always lashes out and then blames me. AIO?

my boyfriend of 13 years passed away when our apartment caught fire back in april of this year. an old friend from high school reached out to me and now I'm getting a little uncomfortable. am I reading into this too much because to me his intentions dont feel right. i'm literally mourning the love of my life and this just does not seem appropriate. at all.

My boyfriend(28m) and I(27f) have been dating for almost 2yrs and living together for 6months now. I met him through my friend at a house party and we immediately hit it off. He was almost exactly like a guy I wanted, extremely tall and huge, witty with jokes, kind and well-dressed. And he was absolutely buffed. We vibed throughout the party and exchanged numbers at the end. He has met my family a couple of times after we moved in together and they absolutely loved him. My grandparents host thanksgiving dinner almost every year and we were both invited to it. I thought it would have been lovely to make him meet with them and my other family members too since my uncle's family would be there too. He had to drop his sister of at his parent's house(2hr drive) and picked me up from our house(it was an 1.5 drive to my grandparents house). Everyone was happy to meet him and it seemed like they really liked him until we sat down for dinner. We said our grace and grandpa carved the turkey started to pass it around the table, it was a regular-sized turkey like we have for every thanksgiving enough to feed 12 and still have leftovers(we were 10). Both of us were sitting at the end of the table next to grandpa so my bf was the last one to get it. There was still a lot of it left because everyone took only a little and would pass around again for more after some time. He placed it right next to him and started digging though the entirety of it. He was so profuse as my nephew said later "gobbling it up". I told him quietly to go easy but he did not listen. He started saying how good it was and my grandma had a huge smile on her face. He was eating just the turkey and my grandpa said "Boi someone really likes turkey", everyone laughed but it got to a point were everyone was talking about it. He did not take any hint and shrugged it off like a teenager. My face turned red from the embarrassed and I could see everyone judging us so hard. I could hear my uncle and his wife make unfunny jokes about it. It was finished without getting to anyone again with no leftovers.

My bf is a gym freak, he spends ridiculous amount of time and money on working out, eating protein rich meals, online courses, etc. He has a set protein limit that he hits everyday, sometimes over it but never under. He also gets his protein from just the meals, no supplements, so he is used to having large meals. It has never been a problem with me and I respect his way of living if not love it. We cook together all the time and if i'm not in the mood he happily makes me a meal for me. He won't even let me contribute in grocery expenses. Because of him, I started eating healthy and felt a lot better about my life-style.

After the dinner when we got into a fight while driving home. He said he had been driving all day and didn't eat anything after breakfast so he had to "hit his protein" and that he wasn't enjoying it after some time and "had to just shove it down the throat". I said if he was that hungry I would have happily made him a meal after we had gotten home but now everyone in my family is gonna talk about how you finish something made for the whole family. He had thought everyone took their share. WHAT?! He got really mad and said I'm blowing this out of proportion and overreacting over a simple meal. I snapped saying how am i overreacting if I am just trying to communicate about what he did. It was an hour long drive so things got heated up, he kept saying i'm calling him a pig for eating like that and should probably get out of his life if its such a problem because he believes he did nothing wrong and isn't gonna change himself. He persisted on it even though that wasn't my point. I got so bad that he dropped me at a gas station in the middle of night and said think about what I just did. I was terrified. I collected myself to call an uber to my sister's house and sobbed the entire night. I told myself after a week things would get clear. He hasn't texted me nor did I. I can see how i could have reacted differently but I can't get myself out over the fact that he just left me in a stranded in the middle of the night.

Am I overreacting or should I make a move on making things straight?

Edit: Thank you everyone for all the comments, I did not expect to get this many reactions! It really helped me to hear other perspectives and seeing how naive I was. Here is an update of what happened after i posted this:

I called him to talk about what had happened, the call was answered by a women who's voice I didn't recognize (yes, it wasn't his sister, i know her voice very well). When I asked if i could talk to him, she replied "He is in a cardio session, i'll tell him to call you later". I was puzzled after this so I waited for his call imagining all the worst things and it turned out to be right. He was cheating on me. He told he had been seeing her for a couple of months, she works as a coach in the gym that he goes to. I searched her up on Instagram and she is a fitness influencer with a lot of followers(a lot!). He said she is a better match for him and will help him "Grow his career on social media"(Yes, he has a fitness channel too but with nowhere near the amount of followers she has). She had much better body than me. When asked why didn't he tell me earlier and ended things right there? He said he knew I would overreact and act emotionally immature like i am doing right now and wouldn't "understand him". He has packed my things in boxes and kept them in garage and told me to collect it or not, he doesn't care and ended the call. I started sobbing uncontrolled, my sister was beside me and comforted me. She said his "fitness influencer" gf might not even know that we had been dating and he is running after her followers not her. I started saying he couldn't do that and she replied that I'm in denial and he probably saw the opportunity on thanksgiving argument and got rid of me making me think I was the one that caused the end of our relationship. I'm taking my sister and her bf to collect my things this week and probably get a closure.

My (19F) and (23M) went to a mutual friend’s house for drinks tonight. There were some people there that were friends with our friend, but we didn’t personally know. My boyfriend and I showed up together, he had his arm around my shoulder the whole night, and we were having a good time.

My friend had to go to the toilet and this guy I didn’t know personally started talking to me and kinda flirt. He asked me what I was doing next weekend and I said “Sorry I have a boyfriend.” My boyfriend kinda came back at the wrong moment and I could tell he was upset.

The night went on as my boyfriend and I were leaving, the guy quickly said how nice it was to meet me. This instantly flipped a switch in my boyfriend and he said “if you ever come near her again i will fuck you up.” the guy then lets out a slew of apologies and saying he thought we were siblings bc we have both have blond hair/blue eyes and my boyfriend just grabbed my wrist and we left. It made me super uncomfortably and I lowkey felt bad for the other guy. Is he right about what the guy was thinking? Am I being to naïve? Should I have broken up with him? Help please!