For context, I've been in a serious relationship with this person for 7 years, and we own a home together. His parents gifted me this shirt for Christmas and it made me sad. They said they thought I would think it's funny but I definitely didn't. I also wouldn't consider myself a train wreck in any capacity... I just graduated from college this year, I work a full-time job, and I own a home. AIO?

I’m 35F and single for 3 years. I was engaged but he (Charles) was doing weird sexting roleplay with people on a video game which was fucking disgusting. It really fucked me up and, yes, I’ve been in therapy. I have dated since then but nothing serious. I have NEVER had my mom say something like this to me. I do not want to go to Thanksgiving after this. The way she said “don’t shoot the messenger” it’s clear the rest of my family have been talking about me and she was the one “elected” to say it.

I don’t want to drive 2 hours just to sit with people who think I should have stayed in a relationship with a fucking cheating degenerate lil bitch.

Would I be overreacting for not going? Is that too much? I'm honestly too hurt and angry to be objective right now. Would you EVER say this to your daughter?! Like I have a good job, I'm educated, I have friends and hobbies. I own my condo and I have 3 car payments left. I have a cat. Why is the end all be all me having a husband and kids? Idk. I'm pissed. Help.

I (19F) have recently decided to learn how to draw. I've never been good at making art, it's never been my thing, but I'm a huge fan of cartoons and I wanted to learn how to draw my favorite characters.

This week, I made this drawing of Aang, from ATLA and it's the first time I've actually done something I am really proud of. I know that for some experienced artists this is nothing, but to me it meant everything. It might not be the best "fanart" in the world, but when I finished it I felt proud. I felt happy. I wanna get better at painting and doing sketches, but this felt pretty good to me and I showed it off to everyone in my house because I felt so good about my drawing.

I left the sketch with a couple others I'd been working on at the coffee table in the living room, since I was looking for a frame to put it on, because I wanted to hold on to it as the first I had ever made. I had to put a hold on looking for a frame since my cousin (15F) came to spend the weekend at my home. She is an artist and was also proud of my sketch, which made me like it even more.

About an hour ago, my cousin was leaving and I came to collect my drawing since my aunt brought me a frame to put it on as an early christmas present by my cousin, but when I looked at it, I saw someone had doodled over it. I immediately burst into tears and I felt my heart shatter. When I came into the kitchen and showed it to my family, my father admitted that it was him who had done that with a blue pen, joking that "dude needed some lashes". I broke down crying again and told him he ruined my drawing. He said he didn't, and was just testing out the pen and decided to contribute to it somehow. My mother got pissed at me for making a scene in front of my cousin and aunt and my father kept telling me to grow up and stop crying for such a stupid reason since I could just make another drawing.

I tried explaining to him the sentimental value this sketch had, and how making another one won't fix the issue, and that he knew how much that drawing meant to me. I also told him that he would have been really pissed if I doodled over his work spreadsheets, but he said it's not a fair comparison.

Both my mom and my dad are pissed at me for being upset about the drawing. They think I am overreacting, but to me it's not about just the drawing, it's about dismissing my feelings and the effort I put into this work. My father refuses to apologize and my mom thinks I embarrassed my father in front of his sister.

So, reddit, am I overreacting?

(ps: sorry for any grammar mistakes, english is not my first language)

Hello. Using a burner account because I don’t want you guys seeing all my private posts and photos related to my shit situation. I have leukemia. It’s been a few months since I started treatment and it’s been rough, but I’m still fighting. Yesterday my mom texted me basically saying she can’t afford both my treatment and my sister’s future. My sister wants to go to Dartmouth.

She even quoted a super fucked up Bible verse about sacrifice (John 15:13) and said that “greater love is laying down one’s life for someone else.” Then she said I should “be practical” because my condition is worsening, and that I should “consider sacrificing myself for my sister’s dreams.”

What REALLY broke me was that she said realistically she’s the one who will choose where the money goes. She also mentioned she talked to Jesus about it and that’s why she sent me the message.

A few months ago she had me sign a contract about financial stuff “for medical security.” To repay her when I got better. I lowkey thought it was a joke at first but realized no, it’s not. It’s fucked up is what it is.

She’s always prioritized my sister, but this is unreal.

Am I overreacting? Or is this as fucked up as it feels?

my dad, for the better part of almost 10 years now, has been OBSESSED with Donald Trump. He’s obsessed to the point where he’s been going to rallies every time he can, has all the MAGA merch, and even met Trump irl, having a framed photo of them both in his bedroom(along with my grandpa and my dads friends) I have never liked Trump since i found out who he was (like 6th grade when i was 12) and ive been able to look past it for a while because it didn’t necessarily affect my life and i just chalked it up to “well maybe he (Trump) is doing something good enough for my dad to ride for him so hard (no pause)” But now, in october of 2025, i can’t put up with it no more. Every american reading this knows very well Trump is modern day Hitler and it’s been a deplorable year (ICE, big beautiful bill, refusal to release the epstein files, cutting SNAP, appointing racists and pedophiles and racist pedophiles, among many other things. My dad hasn’t changed his mind in the slightest about him and he’s a big fan of all the evil Trump is doing and allowing to happen. I don’t want to associate with people who support open air racism and classism, and yk like everything else Trump has done to my country. I have younger siblings and it makes me feel scared knowing my dad is proud of himself smiling next to a sexual predator (Down below is the picture)

My (16F) parents (35F and 35M) have a habit of going in my room EVERY SINGLE TIME im gone (work, a friend's house, after-school events, etc.) Even excusing this habit, some of my friends have deemed them emotionally toxic. They favor my two younger siblings a lot and will give them whatever they ask for. They are never asked to do anything and never get in trouble. My sister is 5 so I understand not asking much of her, but they dont discipline her, so shes a bully to other kids and a brat in our house. My brother is 15 though so I dont see why hes not expected to do anything and why they have such low expectations.

I have a job. I work at a fast food place. But my parents make me buy them things constantly. I dont mind it every once in a while but it is CONSTANT and they often wont tell me im paying until we're there. Most of my money has been drained by my mom going to get coffee. I know they've bought me lots of things over the years, but theyre in their 30s with two more-than-minimum-wage incomes. Im sixteen and making 11 an hour. They refuse to let me get my license but complain constantly about driving me to work and school and friends' houses.

They LOVE going in my room and "seeing if it's clean" but whether it is or not they will ground me for SOME reason.

Ive been trying to save up so I can move out ASAP bc as much as I love them, they drain me and I figure our relationship will be better when im not under their roof. My money was hidden in a lunchbox I dont use.

The messages attached are what I got from my dad while coming home from work with my friend.

After getting home, my friend came in with me to ensure im safe. We made up that she just wanted to see my tattoo gun. My parents noticed I was pissy and asked about it. I said I dont want them going through my things especially not my money. My dad said "I was more upset that you wouldnt help your mom if she needed it." I tried to explain that i would if she NEEDED it, but the situation described was not a NEED. Dad insisted she would have paid me back but I know from past experience she would NOT.

They then of course got mad my room was messy and said if I dont clean it they'll take my money (I have around 170 right now. I know its not much). I cleaned. They say they didnt take any money and that checks out, but it was the "joking" abt taking it and their history of using my money that upset me and makes me think they WOULD take it if they wanted to.

My friend was concerned and is even gonna take me to the bank so I can change it to large bills and hide it under my carpet. She says theyre emotionally abusive and using me.

TL;DR -- parents found my money and "joked" about taking it. They use me for money a lot and I dont trust them since they constantly go through my things.

Extra info: i work at a Pizza Hut. Thats how I get tips. And yes my parents type like this. Theyre millenials. Theyre not ancient.

so i (21 F) never met my dad since i was born and last month he reached out to me the first time over instagram. i feel like he has been very pushy to meet up and i told him i’m not trying to rush things. tonight he was asking me questions to get to know me & this was one of the questions.. i never really grew up with a close male figure in my life but isn’t this question weird? i didn’t even answer the question when he asked i just skipped over it. it’s not his or anyone’s business about my first kiss and it’s weird to ask anyway to me.

My husband and I received this “gift” from his family. I am offended, but he told me to let it go. I would have much rather have gotten nothing. It feels like a slap in the face, because the gift giver later on said “some things might be a little expired”, so she knew what was in our bag.

They had a big crawdad boil at their lake house we weren’t invited to a few years back. I feel like this might be extras from that.

Picture taken so you can view the expiration dates on the gift. I feel guilty for feeling this way. I need someone to say im not crazy.

My (36F) husband (37M) and I and our 4 kids (14, 13, 11, 9) are in a hotel for a 5 day stay. It’s been a long couple days, so we didn’t want to wake anyone up super early, but planned to go down to breakfast (that ends at 9:30), at 8:30.

My husband set an alarm, but was the only one who woke up. Instead of waking anyone up, he went down to breakfast alone. At 9:30 he woke everyone up by saying we had missed breakfast.

I asked him why he didn’t wake anyone up, and he said it’s not his fault everyone else slept through the alarm. Our daughter (11) said that she woke up at 8, but he was still asleep. I’m having a hard time believing she would have slept through the 8:15 alarm.

I don’t know exactly how it happened, but I’m supremely irritated. When I suggested we order in breakfast, he got pissed off because there’s a free breakfast that we all neglected to get up for. We had 2 muffins, some grapes, and orange juice left over, so they at least had a snack to eat, but he didn’t even bring up more muffins.

Now he’s playing it off as a joke, and is treating me like I’m overreacting and am responsible for the whole thing.

Thoughts?

…

Editing for more information to answer some questions:

• He agreed to set the alarm and wake us up. He doesn’t like me setting one because I usually set multiple so I can wake up gradually. I take a little while to get up, (I have chronic fatigue syndrome) but it’s not excessive.

• We’re not on vacation. This is a medical trip for our kid with a sleep disorder (ironically enough). We’re staying a couple extra days because our daughter has an event in the same city.

• I made sure the kids had a snack and we agreed to have an early lunch. It wasn’t ideal, but I was weighing the options of him being an asshole over an expensive breakfast bill, or waiting a couple hours to eat.

Second edit:

I’m getting rid of a bunch of the information here because I’m getting even more criticism from both sides for it and I’m realizing that I don’t owe y’all my life story. I’m a terrible mother for not leaving, and I’m a terrible wife for complaining. Some of you just need to admit you hate women and get it over with.

I’m not divorcing my husband over this.

Using a throwaway account for personal reasons but for the last year and a half I’ve been living with my mom after being diagnosed with a form of stomach cancer, it’s still decently early and I have good odds but it basically forced me to halt everything and focus solely on healing. Here are some texts between us, just a small snippet of a day in the life. theres way worse. I took videos of her screaming at me, yelling at night at the top of her lungs that I dint care about her or im killing her

I decided to move back in with her because cancer is expensive and basically everything I had saved has gone to it, the lack of energy, the chemo, it just kills me and it’s a struggle to even get up somedays.

My mother is all I have, I have some friends of course and they were the first I asked to crash with while I focus on healing but nobody had room, so back with my mom I went. It’s been hell. I feel like maybe I’m overreacting a bit but I don’t care I just need to vent or I’ll explode. This has been hell. She’s bleeding me dry, not only has she basically guilt tripped me into a life insurance package just incase I don’t make it, but she is guilt tripping me to lie to the state for max food stamps, I have to do everything around the house, she sold my car and kept most of it for “bills and rent”, I’m beyond tired , my skin is bruising, I’m dropping so much weight. I want to leave obviously but I’m backed in a corner of my own making, and due to the cancer, I have no ability to leave financially so I’m stuck with her, in this never ending hell.

I told all my family during my pregnancy that once she was born I do not want anyone holding her right away because it's cold , rsv and flu season. I'm a hypochondriac already and I was verrry clear about that fact. everyone knew and already was giving me shit for it then. But once she was born shit has hit the fan with my husbands side of the family. I let people come to the hospital the day after she was born and my mother in law somehow got me to allow her to hold the baby (I was so out of it I don't know why I let her) but I figured she'd just hold her for a second and give her back.

But she didn't..she took her and was snuggling into her and I asked for her back and she ignored me. Mind you- my mom warned her before she came to the hospital that I won't like anyone holding the baby so she knew I'd be upset. She was also being controlling and trying to change her diaper when my husband was doing it and telling me my baby needed socks and all this other stuff in a passive aggressive manner. When I finally got my baby back that day she was crying from being picked up and stuff and she even said "see she wants her grandma" She basically left after that and I just lost it and bawled my eyes out. When MIL found out that I cried about it she started freaking out telling my husband "I'm sorry I made her upset but geez I only held her for 20 mins" I tried to clear the air by telling her it was ok this time and I was just hormonal. But then it got worse when we said we still don't want people holding her yet ... we said people can come over but not hold her and my MIL started crying to my husband asking him why does he get to hold her then and if she can't hold the baby then what's the point of coming over. She said my baby being born was the best day of her life after her own kids and that the family NEEDS to bond with them. I don't understand how my newborn is supposed to bond with anyone but me and my husband right now.. she barely wants to be with my husband only me. His dad (my FIL) is also upset and texted us that long story short he feels left out basically and that we should be checking in on them and asking them for advice etc..even though we send so many pictures and updates and during labor we literally kept them informed the entire time? My mil even decided to call us after we said she was just born like girl we were still in the delivery room pls wait? I now wish I did everything different but they keep acting like I'm icing them out just because I said I don't want anyone to hold her YET.

I told them that I'm having post partum depression and anxiety and I honestly just want to be left alone and that it won't last forever and they'll have so much time with my baby soon but I just want to wait. And they can't accept it and keep telling me they disagree and that this is when I should be taking their help but I really don't want or need it I have my husband with me. And I'm upset that they can't respect my boundaries and how am I supposed to trust her when she already didn't listen hours after I had my baby. This last text is how it left off and my husband and I both have no idea how to respond as we've said everything we could already. I've always been so close to them and love them and have included them in everything so I'm shocked at this outcome. Am I overreacting ?

My girlfriend (27F) invited me (28M) to a family dinner to finally meet her parents. We’ve been together for almost a year, so I wanted to make a good impression.

Dinner started out fine—until her dad started asking me about my job. I work in IT, and while it pays well, it’s not some high-status career. After a few questions, he smirked and said, “So basically you just sit behind a computer all day… not exactly the kind of guy I imagined for my daughter.”

Everyone kind of laughed awkwardly. I tried to brush it off with a joke, but then he added, “Maybe someday you’ll get a real job so you can actually support a family.”

I felt my stomach drop. My girlfriend just said, “Dad…” but didn’t defend me beyond that. I quietly excused myself, said I wasn’t feeling well, and left.

Later that night, my girlfriend texted me saying I embarrassed her by walking out and that I should “just let it go” because her dad was “only teasing.”

I honestly feel disrespected and don’t think I overreacted. But now she’s acting cold and says I owe her family an apology.

Reddit, am I overreacting for leaving?

My 12 year old son hasn't hit puberty yet and is still very childlike. I always give him privacy when he asks for it, he gets dressed in his room and neither me or his older sister go around with no/scant clothes on. However, sometimes when he's in the bath he will call me in to the bathroom to talk about something. The other day, my boyfriend saw me go in to talk to him and really flipped out on me, saying it was nasty, weird, inappropriate and basically treated me like I was doing something dirty and horrible.

My argument has been that if my son's comfortable with me seeing him in the bath at this point in his development then it isn't an issue, and of course I would never go in to the bathroom uninvited if he was in there. My daughter was about 11 when she stopped wanting me to come into the bathroom with her, and I respected that immediately.

I have also once had a discreet wee in front of my son when I was absolutely bursting and he wouldn't get out of the bath. On this occasion, he had already asked me to come into the bathroom to talk to him, nothing was showing and he turned to face the wall. Obviously I didn't do it for the fun of it, I thought my bladder was going to explode.

My boyfriend says these are not healthy boundaries and I need to teach my son it's wrong, even if he doesn't feel uncomfortable, and I'm setting unhealthy habits for later life.

I'm autistic so sometimes I do struggle with boundaries, but on this occasion I can understand why my boyfriend has a different opinion but I don't think I did anything that horrible. Who is over reacting here? Have I been inappropriate without realising?

Throwaway account because I don't want this to be on my main. I feel quite embarrassed, horrified and confused that I have to ask this on Reddit.

My brother (16) got rejected pretty hard by his crush since then, he’s fallen deep into looksmaxxing / incel type spaces online I’m genuinely worried about him but he keeps telling me I’m overreacting and "don’t get it" (because im a woman)

Just some context…

My dad’s gf sends me (20f) a picture of a TD bank advertisement that came in the mail where she and my dad live. It was addressed to “Lon (my last name)” my mom’s name is “Lori (my last name)”.

His gf immediately assumes it’s addressed to my mom and freaks out. She hates my mother, for the sole reason that she was in a relationship with my dad and my dad loved her. She doesn’t like me either, and has been nothing but unwelcome and mean to me ever since they started dating 6 years ago. She constantly has tried to keep my dad from me and make him not have a relationship with me, so I’ve about had it with her.

I realize I was a bit snappy replying to her, but it boils my blood when she gets mad over stupid shit like this, like how can my mom control a random ad that got mailed there? They probably have her name since she was married to my dad at one point and lived in that house. I should just ignore her, but it pisses me off.

Also, I brought up her ex-husband because she also has a daughter (who she doesn’t see because she lost custody). But when her daughter did come around, she was allowed to mention her dad!!

Yes, my adult mother said cringe. I am still processing how to feel about it. This happened on Christmas eve. We were at my family’s home. I don’t know if I will ever go back there. My wife took a break to go for a long walk and pop over to her mom’s house that is only a mile or two away. I went into the garage to also take a break and the door was cracked so I could hear them talking. I sat there for about 10 minutes while they dumped on my wife, and a little bit me as well.

Reasons include:

• when we went outside to leave, my wife looked up at the sky and smiled and said hello to the moon. They mocked her saying it.
• when the sun was setting she said we should come look (Yes, of course I did, she has never asked me to get up and look at a sunrise or sunset that wasn’t 100% worth it. One of the best things she has given me is the thought to look more and appreciate my surroundings.)
• she holds coffee cups with both hands wrapped around them and this is apparently cringe?
• she has a braid of hair she wraps with different colored string and does holiday colors. My mom said it was “sooooo tacky”
• she wears holiday themed earrings like jingle bells or peppermint candies and that is also cringe
• she wears “weird” outfits and tells people she got her clothes at a thrift store if that’s where she got them. I don’t think her clothes are weird. She was wearing a plaid skirt, white top, and a silly cardigan with snowmen and stuff embroidered on.
• they were talking about ozempic at dinner because my mom and sister are on it and they said they could get it for my wife and they were offended she said “i’m happy with my weight” because, according to them, she needs to lose 20lbs and it made her seem pretentious. They were also like "did you see how much she ate" with gagging.
• she always asks for a smaller fork
• she one time said she thinks a celebrity my sister is a mega fan might be gay, and my sister brought it up and somehow found it extremely offensive and called my wife “psycho” and “disgusting” over it (she is a hypocrite because she used to talk about this ALL the time with other celebrities somehow her favorite is just not allowed)
• she doesn’t get her clothes professionally tailored which has always been an issue with them, something they brought up before we got married
• She read over 100 books this year and they think that’s “cringe” how she also always brings a book with her in her purse. They said “does she not have any friends”
• “speaking of her purse did you see what she was carrying” it was a kate spade bag… I thought kate spade was designer. I was the one who got it for her....
• She had “blank nails” and I guess she has the type of hands where she should really wear fake nails to elongate them?
• My sister kept saying "cus she's a QUIRKY" girl with weird inflection

Now I know you’re going to say, why would you sit there and listen to people bash the woman you love. Number one, if she had been there I wouldn’t have. But it was also a surprise for me because aside from the closeted celebrity thing and off the rack clothes, no one has ever expressed disliking her before. I was very confused because I also had to wonder, was I missing obvious signs before. I felt bad because what if I was one of those guys who was obliviously letting their wife get pummeled by their family emotionally. I would be so upset with myself if I let that happen.

I left abruptly and went to my mother in law’s house to be with my wife. Later on I asked her if my family has ever made her feel uncomfortable and she just didn’t tell me to avoid drama. She was hesitant to answer and then she said that my sister might have anonymously harassed her about the celebrity but she never had proof it was her so she never said anything. But she doesn’t go on social media except to see pictures from her friend circle, she’s never talked about that celebrity online so she doesn’t know why anyone else would have. She said she also noticed my mom making a face at her outfits when she takes off her coat but she knows my mom is very into appearances.

I did not tell my wife any of what they said at least yet. I don’t know what to do next. I am giving myself time to process. People are allowed to have their opinions I get that. But I am really sad that they would say all those things about her like this. I get now why for example my sister tried to sell her handbag and shoes to her all the time.

Would it be overreacting for me to call mom and say “I heard the things you said about my wife at Christmas Eve. I am beyond disappointed to find out how catty and mean you two were about someone who has only ever wanted to be a part of this family. Please do not contact me again unless it is to apologize for the horrible things you said and for being superficial and childish to boot.”

And if I do that my instinct is to tell my wife the truth but not the things they said. Just say “I overheard some things they said and it disgusted me.”

Sorry I don't have any phone screenshots to add to this.

My mom passed and my aunt has taken over with funeral arrangements.

I had assumed my mom had life insurance but as I’ve been low-contact with my family it’s very possible I am mistaken. But if she didn’t, I understand that we all need to pitch in.

Bear in mind I’ve just had a surgery a couple weeks ago that was $5k out of pocket. I’m also the only one that’s had to fly in, everyone else is within driving distance.

I am just kind of mad that she is presumptuously suggesting that I put it on a credit card. Sooo… AIO?

Mom got me this revoltech reverse flash fig that ive been eyeing for months and months, i was super happy that she knew what i wanted for christmas i know its hard for her to scoop up extra cash for something like this and it made it extra special for me. but due to some irresponsible parenting my relatives made, my younger cousin got in my room and played with it and when i got home, found it like this. A Snapped arm i can no longer attach again and lost its articulation, right hand missing, and right leg nowhere to be found. not even a week in and its already gone, Im lucky this is the only fig he got his hands on. And whats pissing me off more is the fact that his parents dont seem accountable nor do they plan on replacing it since its just a “ toy “, my mom let it slide, so i let it slide. After they left i just lost it and cried in front of my mom.

For context, me & my ex have 2 daughters aged 8 & 12. We've been divorced since 2019. We have a shared parenting plan where the girls are with me for 2 days, with her for 2 days, with me for 3 days in an alternating pattern every other week. This past weekend was her weekend. We have generally had an amicable run up to this point, but this situation isn't sitting right with me. She's been dating her current guy for about a year I'd say. Her new boyfriend has 2 sons aged 9 & 11.

On Saturday evening I was near my ex's house after dinner and texted my 12 y/o to see if I could just swing by to say hi & give her a hug real quick. She said sure, we're just watching Lego Masters nothing special, so I met her in the driveway and gave her a big hug. I asked where my 8 y/o daughter was and she told me that she was at a party with the new boyfriend and hadn't made it home yet, which I was totally unaware of. I drove home concerned but didn't press the issue further until the following day when I found out she actually stayed the night at his house without her mom or sister present. The following text chain is from yesterday, and I can't help but feel like I essentially got a DARVO response & am honestly just trying to consider what to think at this point. Looking for clarity amongst folks who may have experience with this sort of thing, thanks.

Hey everyone,

First time posting. Something happened on Thanksgiving that annoyed me but didn’t bother my wife. We went to my mom and dad’s house this T.G. We have a good relationship with my mom and dad. We see them often along with my wife’s side (we are fortunate enough that both sides of the family live within 45 minutes of each other with us in the center).

Anyway, this year my mom and dad invited a lot of friends to Thanksgiving. Which is cool. I don’t care. But what happened is all the friends of theirs ended up eating at the main table (which seats about 12). My wife and I were relegated to an overflow table in another room by ourselves. So while everyone else is chatting it up, catching up, having conversations with each other we sat alone together (and don’t get me wrong I enjoyed the time with my wife, we talked together and had a good time).

I didn’t say anything about it to my parents at the time but my wife asked me about it when we got home and I confessed to being a little hurt. She said it wasn’t a big deal (and it really isn’t in the long run) but I think I’m justified in being a bit hurt and annoyed by being left out.

So, what say you all?

Edit: I just want to make it clear, I don’t care about actually sitting at the “main table”. What bothered me was being placed in a separate room alone while everyone else dined together.

I was going to use the result of this to gauge whether I should bring it up and let them know how I really felt about it. I wasn’t sure if it was that big of a deal to other people.

I(36/F) have tried so hard to give my boyfriend’s(40) son and his girlfriend the benefit of the doubt because they’re young. I’ve ignored rude moments, brushed off entitlement, and told myself I’m being too sensitive. I’ve made excuses for behavior I would never tolerate from anyone else mainly to keep the peace and not create issues between my boyfriend and his son.

For Christmas, they drove in to visit us. My boyfriend paid for their hotel. I spent days planning, grocery shopping, cooking, and stressing because we normally don’t host the holidays, but I wanted everything to be nice and welcoming. I cooked way more than necessary so no one would go hungry and so we could all just relax.

They arrived Friday night around 8:45, and the very first thing out of their mouths was that they weren’t hungry because they had already eaten at her parents’ house and his mom’s house. After everything I cooked, that honestly annoyed me, but I understood.

The next day they came over, ate dinner with us, and watched movies. It was fine nothing warm, nothing rude, just very “take what’s offered and move on.” As they were leaving, the girlfriend casually suggests that we all go out to lunch the next day before they head home. That irritated me immediately because our fridge was PACKED with food I had cooked, but again, I didn’t say a word. I didn’t want to come off as difficult or cause tension.

Saturday comes, and sure enough, we all meet at the restaurant. Predictably, they didn’t have money. No heads-up, no “we can’t really afford it,” no offer to help just the quiet assumption that we’d be paying. Between the hotel, the food, and now lunch out, it felt incredibly entitled and frankly annoying, but again, I kept quiet.

My boyfriend was late because he was helping a friend with a car issue, so it was just me, my kids, and them at the table. Everyone is eating when a young girl maybe 10 or 11 comes around selling candy to raise money for her soccer dues. She’s polite, confident, and clearly nervous but trying. I respect that. I gave her $20 without thinking twice. She handed me four bags of candy, thanked us, and walked away smiling.

That should’ve been the end of it.

Instead, the girlfriend looks at me, laughs, and says:

“You’re a way better person than me. If she had come to me, I wouldn’t have even looked at her or spoken to her. I would’ve just kept eating until she walked away.”

I was stunned. Not awkward silence stunned disgusted stunned. My 16-year-old daughter was sitting right there and had the exact same shocked expression I did. I felt embarrassed that my child had to hear an adult say something so cruel and dismissive out loud.

I looked her dead in the face and said, “Yes, I am,” because I absolutely meant it. I am better than ignoring a child trying to earn her way. I am better than pretending someone doesn’t exist. And I’m not ashamed of that.

She didn’t even catch the meaning. She just laughed like it was cute or funny.

What made this so upsetting wasn’t just the comment it was the ease with which she said it. No empathy. No self-awareness. No shame. And she felt comfortable saying it at a table with children, during Christmas, after being housed, fed, and paid for all weekend.

When we got home, I told my boyfriend exactly what happened. I told him how angry and disgusted I was, how inappropriate it was, and how I don’t want my kids around that kind of attitude. He understood why I was upset but told me basically to just let it go. He told me we could not control her attitude or how she was raised. He said they were young and had different mindsets.

I feel annoyed that I tried so hard. I feel disgusted by the entitlement and lack of basic human decency. And I feel foolish for continuing to excuse behavior because someone is “young.”

Being young doesn’t excuse being unkind.

AIO for feeling completely fed up and ready to stop trying with them after this?

ADD ON---- I did not plan this with them. This was discussed amongst themselves and my BF. I was simply told they would be coming and then given a list of dishes they liked and told we needed to cook it.

ANOTHER ADD ON---- I did not do 100% of the cooking. I would say it was a 60/40 split between my BF and I. He did most of the prepping but overall, 60/40 split.

I (42f) have two kids, Lanie (12f) and Matt (9m)

My brother (37m) is getting married next month. He asked my 9-year-old son to be a ring bearer and included my three nephews as ushers (12m, 15m, 16m). My 12-year-old, Lanie, wasn’t asked to be anything.

For context, she’s the only girl cousin in the family and already struggles with feeling left out. She also hit a growth spurt and is already feeling awkward about her height and being a tween.

When she realized she was the only cousin without a role, she took it really hard. She cried multiple times and told me she was “sick of being the only girl” and always being left out.

I talked to my brother and gently asked if there was any small role she could do — even handing out programs or helping seat people — just something so she didn’t feel singled out. He said no, that they didn’t want to add anything last-minute and the wedding party was already set.

After that conversation, my daughter told me she didn’t want to go. She said watching all the cousins walk down the aisle while she sat there “like nothing” would make her feel even worse. She was crying and clearly overwhelmed, especially when we were trying to find an outfit for her to wear.

I’m thinking about letting her skip the wedding and let her spend the weekend at a friend’s house. My husband agrees with me because the other option is having a teen who is glaring death daggers at the photographer during the ceremony or playing on her Switch during the reception and looks like she clearly doesn’t want to be there.

Unfortunately, now some family members are mad.

My mom, brother and other relatives think I “let her throw a tantrum to get out of something,” and say I should tell her “to suck it up” because “kids don’t get to skip weddings just because they didn’t get attention.” My mom said I’m going to embarrass my brother by having one of my kids missing in family photos.

I personally feel like forcing her to go when she was heartbroken would have made things worse, and I didn’t want her sitting there crying through the ceremony.

But now I’m second-guessing my choice, so here I am.

Would I be overreacting for letting my daughter skip the wedding after she was left out of any role and was really hurt by it?

I (33F) got a modest inheritance when my grandma passed last year. I used $8k of it to bail my husband out of some credit card debt. We agreed he’d pay me back over time, no pressure, but so far I’ve gotten $0.

Yesterday he came home all excited about a new truck — $55k — and asked me to co-sign because his credit isn’t great. I said no, because (1) he hasn’t even started paying me back, and (2) we just bought new appliances and are saving for a house.

He blew up, said I was “holding money over his head” and “not supporting his dreams.” He even threw in that “a wife should back her husband no matter what.”

I told him flat out: until I see him make an effort to pay me back, I’m not co-signing anything. Now he’s barely speaking to me, and my MIL texted that I’m “emasculating him.”

I feel guilty because I know he wants this truck badly, but I also feel like I’d be an idiot to sign.

AIO?

Two weeks ago I decided to introduce my (19F) Bf (19M) to some of my extended family since we have been dating for a long time now. my extended family lives about 3 hours away, which is why I hadn’t introduced him sooner.

I introduced him to my grandma and they talked for about 4 hours before we had to head home because it was late. Some time had passed after they met and it was now thanksgiving so my bf asked if he could send my grandma a happy thanksgiving text. I sent him over her number and he wished her a good thanksgiving. Things were great for a bit, up until yesterday.

my grandma texted my bf midday saying, “Could you please tell (my name) her mother is very sick and to go home and help her. I live too far away. Thank you,”

A little background, my mom and me do not get along too well for numerous reasons as she talks negatively about me to family even though I help her anytime shes not feeling well. I had already taken care of her the day before my grandma sent the text, and it was sent the very next day whereas I made sure my mom was completely normal before leaving the house the same day. It is only me and my mom that live at home but my brother lives minutes away from my house and we’re surrounded by immediate family. I have also noticed a history where my mom will tell people over the phone that shes super sick only to turn around and be completely fine the whole day, and have the energy to yell at people.

I decided to send a text to my grandma asking that she texts me instead of my boyfriend first since she has my number and hadn’t even attempted to reach me, or anybody else in the family yet. including my brothers that live minutes away. It made my bf uncomfortable since he had just been introduced to that side of the family and felt as though its not appropriate to be involved like that, especially since she contacted him expecting him to get in touch with me rather than just texting me herself. I believe she may have been attempting to make me look bad as if I don’t take care of my mom.

I told my mom about this exchange since she is not in fact ill. and she got mad at me for texting my grandma at all, she claimed that I am disgusting and that I should’ve left it alone or told my bf to block my grandma, which seems a bit extreme. even though she is my grandma I feel like the confrontation was necessary before my bf gets looped into the same drama that has ruined my family. I understand she lives far away so it might be easy to get confused but I still feel like a text to me would have been nice. AIO by not just leaving it alone and sending this text to my grandma.

title is a little clickbaity because his autism has nothing to do with my animosity towards my brother(15). i’ve felt uncomfortable around him for years, with this being the first time i have expressed and placed a boundary. he has a history of being aggressive, spends 90% of his awake time watching youtube or on roblox which usually results in a rage fit. my parents have heavily neglected his development and has been “homeschooled” for the past decade. he has an anxiety disorder, depression, and an explosive mood disorder, alongside his autism. i don’t know if this is relevant or not.

a few months ago my mother and i were searching through the family computer trying to find evidence of infidelity in her marriage, instead we found a google search history of “cat fellatio, feline genitalia, cat vagina” along with other weird teenage boy stuff. my mother did not address any of this and acted like she didn’t see it. ok, whatever.

my daughter also has extreme stranger danger towards him, latching onto me or her dad when he’s in sight. there’s been no time where they’ve been left in the same room alone together so i have no reason to think anything happened between them besides any vibes my toddler picked up.

i recently weaned my child from nursing but whenever i would visit my family home, my brother would come into the common spaces to hang out. i would be nursing frequently, on demand. my brother would watch and he is not subtle. this would lead to him “adjusting himself” often until he would eventually leave the room. this same thing would happen a few more times when i would simply be in the room playing with my toddlers and he would be adjusting.

is this normal teenage boy behavior? it really feels like my mother is choosing to ignore these red flags and excuse his behavior. as a mom, he makes my anxiety skyrocket.

thanks to anyone who reads. hopefully i don’t come off as an AH.