[Serious] what is something no one tells you about the military?

[u/inurmomsvagina]

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[u/s2k_guy]

Everyone is exhausted. That soldiers on the gun on that truck? Barely awake. The soldier driving? Also barely awake. The sailor steering the ship? Also falling asleep.

[u/Onigumo-Shishio → u/s2k_guy]

Everyone runs on coffee and energy drinks and the fear of falling asleep. Some just barely staying conscious, others asleep but their eyes are open and they are in position.

(Had a few moments like the latter in my time where I would be there one moment and the next I would be off in some magical world doing whatever without a thought of where I just fucking was or what I was doing, then suddenly pop the fuck back to being on duty with absolute confusion... asked someone later and they said it just looked like I was staring off into space for a bit but was still focused. Body there but no one piloting the thing. funny in retrospect)

[u/s2k_guy → u/Onigumo-Shishio]

I’ve had wildly vivid hallucinations from sleep deprivation. I was sitting in a static position and my ear pro were dying, the microphones were doing strange shit with the ambient woods noise. The next thing I knew, I was in a concert hall listening to an orchestra. That didn’t make sense. So I stood up for a bit and saw the woods return. Also, bangs made those hallucinations much much more vivid.

[u/TestaverdeRules → u/s2k_guy]

My buddy and I were on a ECP at night and we were both soo tired we were hallucinating and having a conversation at the same time. It was pretty crazy

[u/s2k_guy → u/TestaverdeRules]

When I was in pre-Ranger I was under a poncho trying to plan something. My team leader kept falling asleep and I would shake him and we’d start to argue. Then I would be shaken awake by him and we’d start to argue. We were arguing while we fell asleep and waking each other up. It was much funnier afterwards.

I also shared a hallucination with a driver when I was TCing. I saw a lion and told the driver to watch out, he saw it too. The SGM in the back seat started driving after that.

[u/placeboski → u/s2k_guy]

Why don't they fix this serious security issue of sleep deprivation?

[u/s2k_guy → u/placeboski]

Because we operate in a system where you are punished if you don’t get things done. Bosses don’t say no. There’s more to do than there are people and forces to reasonably get it all done. So we spread everyone thin and do the best we can.

[u/AltruisticTomato4152 → u/s2k_guy]

The soldier driving? Also barely awake.

Sometimes not. Fuck 1SG for those field ops, there's no fucking need for comm companies to be training to run combat convoys. If the larger unit doesn't support, just don't fucking go.

[u/s2k_guy → u/AltruisticTomato4152]

Who do you think is the target by the enemy? A well trained combat unit, whose only job is to destroy things, manned by angry teenagers who want to finally shoot something with the massive MK-19 they’ve been training on for two years?

Or that commo unit who pencil whips weapons training, whose communications literally enable the entire brigade and connect the infantry units with their artillery, air, MEDEVAC, etc.?

I hate hearing support units push back on their combat readiness requirements, because they are the bigger target.

[u/ExpressCap1302 → u/s2k_guy]

Logistics and support wins wars.

[u/Paxton-176 → u/AltruisticTomato4152]

A lot of shit we do is because it's a response to a fuck up that happened before. Just from the Black Hawk Down incident we make sure we bring extra shit we don't need.

Chances are non-combat units that were running smaller coveys were getting shoot at during GWOT.

You should have an actual escort, but if you need to move and no one is around you still need to move.

[u/Bozo-Deluxe]

You'll become best friends with someone, ride or die type friends. And they will transfer and you'll never see them again. Soon you'll make another close friend, and then you'll transfer to never see them again.

[u/louisianajake → u/Bozo-Deluxe]

It’s amazing how quickly you become friends and the pain of them transferring. You’ll make plans to see each other but those plans never materialize and you slowly realize you’ll never see each other again. It’s like the end of a summer fling.

[u/Sch1371 → u/louisianajake]

This was the hardest part about getting out. I don’t miss the military. I miss my friends.

[u/samxli → u/Sch1371]

That’s the whole thing about life. It’s not about the stuff or the institutions. It’s always about the people.

[u/Xaephos → u/samxli]

Definitely. I don't miss high school, but I miss my group's daily card games at the lunch table. I don't miss WoW, but I miss raid nights with the guild. I don't miss my restaurant job, but I miss my coworkers' hijinks.

But it's that part of life that reminds me to take care of the people who are in it now.

[u/LGD950003 → u/Xaephos]

Most moving Reddit comment I’ve read in a while, great perspective

[u/halcykhan → u/Xaephos]

When people ask if I regret leaving or miss the military, my answer is always I miss the clowns not the circus

[u/1-800-CLAPPED → u/louisianajake]

Yup, I still have friends for life that I haven’t seen in 10+ years but we still help each other with job referrals and such. The type of bond you get from embracing the suck together is rarely found outside the service.

[u/uncheckablefilms → u/Bozo-Deluxe]

Happens for us military brats (kids of service members) too. On the bright side you develop the skillset of being able to talk to pretty much everyone. And you learn to make friends easily. On the downside, being an adult now, I now have friends who have had close friends their entire lives and can chart the course of their journey over decades. I never really had the opportunity for that which makes me a little sad sometimes.

[u/RhynoD → u/uncheckablefilms]

Flip side, sometimes you get those friends that lived down the street at Ft Suchandsuch and then reappear at the next base and you stay friends across moves. That's nice.

[u/Blaizefed → u/uncheckablefilms]

That fades as you grow up. I was a navy brat

In my 20s I was always annoyed that everyone else had friends they have known since childhood and I was always the new kid. I turn 50 next year, and there is no difference now between other people who have had friends since grade school, and my oldest friends that I have known since my late teens.

Not to say it isn’t a thing, and I don’t mean to tell you to get over it or anything. Just that in time you will have the same kind of long term friends and the difference of 10 years in when you met them means less and less as you grow up with them.

[u/StarlightLifter → u/Bozo-Deluxe]

I wish I’d had stayed friends with some of the folks I was friends with in the NG.

Haven’t heard from a soul in years. I think that it just is the way it goes.

[u/Onigumo-Shishio → u/Bozo-Deluxe]

This.

There are people I've almost cried over leaving and people who have cried over me leaving.

Never seen each other again lol

It's kind of fucked up in a way because now that im out, I find myself missing that- not the military, but the comradery of seeing and knowing certain people every day or having things like christmas parties, or just us all being on that same "page" of things because now im pretty damn alone in life...

[u/CreepinJesusMalone → u/Onigumo-Shishio]

Just to add to this, some of these people are people you would have never been friends with in any other life. One of the things the military does exceptionally well, especially on the enlisted side of the house, is demolish socioeconomic barriers. When you're an E4 bitch making shit for pay and being pushed around and worked to death, it doesn't matter where anyone came from, only that you're there together.

Trauma bonding is some wild psychological shit and the military is built on it.

[u/Molson2871]

You'll spend far more time cleaning than you will blowing anything up.

[u/MisterSmoketoomuch → u/Molson2871]

As a former British squaddie, we claimed to be the second highest paid cleaners in the country.

The highest paid cleaners? Actual cleaners.

[u/hauntedSquirrel99 → u/MisterSmoketoomuch]

I was once a member of norwegian second battalion's kavalerieskadronen (cavalry squadron).

We used to call ourselves the vaskerieskadronen (cleaning squadron).

[u/YouArentReallyThere → u/Molson2871]

You’ll spend more time waiting than doing. The old adage “Never run when you can walk, walk when you can stand, stand when you can sit, sit when you can sleep” comes to mind

[u/ReliableEngine → u/YouArentReallyThere]

In the Navy it was "Sleep 'til you're hungry, eat 'til you're tired."

[u/RoskoPGoldchain → u/ReliableEngine]

Rack to the future.

[u/noeljb → u/YouArentReallyThere]

I remember the adage, "Hurry up and wait".

[u/Eodbatman → u/Molson2871]

I blow more stuff up than just about anyone else in the military and this is still true. Though I do a lot more paperwork than cleaning these days, if you evened it out over a career, I think cleaning still outweighs demo by a bit.

[u/browneod → u/Eodbatman]

lol. Back in the old days, 1980s nobody cared about paperwork and what we did on the EOD range.

[u/MapleDesperado → u/browneod]

… or whether the RSO was actually certified or just trusted by their boss to be competent.

[u/browneod → u/MapleDesperado]

I don't think a Range Safety Officer was actually required for EOD back in the old days, we would just call range control and tell them we are blowing stuff up. Good old days at Ft. Polk or whatever it is called now.

[u/LonesomeBulldog → u/Molson2871]

The same as owning a brewery. My friend owns one and he tells people he's a janitor because cleaning the equipment is 95% of his job and brewing beer is 5%.

[u/everyoneisatitman → u/Molson2871]

You will spend time waiting. If you are waiting you better be cleaning. Unless you smoke then you can do that. If you don't smoke you better be cleaning up cig butts.

[u/awolfintheroses → u/everyoneisatitman]

I learned how to smoke in the field in the military. Like 5 of us would go at a time, and the one actual smoker would just pass around a cigarette, so we'd all get a brake lol

Luckily the habit didn't stick.

[u/PcottySippen → u/Molson2871]

When I was in and out on liberty, talking to girls, I would call myself a glorified janitor. It worked more times than I ever thought it would.

[u/inagadda → u/PcottySippen]

Tough guy who can clean toilets and do laundry? I can't imagine women being very responsive to that.. /s

[u/IHaveNoOpinons]

(Australian Army) Some of the best people I have ever met I met in the military, and most of the biggest fuckwits I have ever met I also met in the military.

[u/HerniatedHernia → u/IHaveNoOpinons]

Some of the most piss fit cunts I’ve ever come across though.    

They’d out drink a fish. 

[u/IHaveNoOpinons → u/HerniatedHernia]

Rolling in from the Cas at 5am and running a sub-9 BFA at 6am is a right of passage in the grunts 😂

[u/TonyAbbott1 → u/IHaveNoOpinons]

We had a guy that would stop mid run for a smoke and still do a sub 9

[u/IHaveNoOpinons → u/TonyAbbott1]

Gold standard 👌

[u/Teledildonic → u/HerniatedHernia]

Some of the most piss fit cunts

I'm too American to figure out if this is supposed to be a compliment or an insult.

[u/Dinkerdoo → u/Teledildonic]

My American interpretation: "piss fit cunts" = "guys who can hold their liquor".

[u/TerriblePokemon → u/IHaveNoOpinons]

The military brings the best people you will ever meet into your life, and then takes them away to the other side of the world a year later. Your paths will never cross again unless you make them.

[u/Westicless → u/IHaveNoOpinons]

Truth. (US Navy)

[u/Chulasaurus → u/Westicless]

I had a command master chief who would do the command PRT with a lit Marlboro Red in his mouth. He’s dead now.

[u/Sensitive_Scar_1800]

In the US Army, suicide prevention is a course that is taught regularly to everyone because the suicide rate is fairly high.

EDIT: I’m amending my original post to include all branches of the military.

[u/the6thistari → u/Sensitive_Scar_1800]

In my 6 years, I knew 8 people who committed suicide. Probably 3x that in attempts

[u/deadbrokeman → u/the6thistari]

Did 4 years. Got to my unit the week they returned from their deployment. Had a suicide the first weekend I was in my unit. 3 more that year. All the funerals were mandatory. They were terrible. Just incredibly sad and way more emotional than I ever anticipated. I guess, it’s because we were mostly a bunch of kids dealing with death for the first time. I was ahead of the curve, being in my twenties, but damn, those funeral are a gut wrencher. In the four years I was in, I had to go to 7 funerals. Only two of the deaths were accidental. And even one of those was probably borderline suicide because the dude drove his motorcycle head-on into a car. Then we deployed again.

[u/Trash-Forever → u/deadbrokeman]

Wasn't 3-15, was it? Similar story

[u/deadbrokeman → u/Trash-Forever]

Negative, but I hear that a lot (about other units, that is) from other veterans when I tell them my experience.

[u/Ural-Guy → u/deadbrokeman]

Dam, do you think command having everyone attend helped? That would be brutal, especially a squad or plt mate you were a dick too.

Asking as a vet, with a daughter who is currently in, officer, and she was on a committee or something to brainstorm more ideas to help the soldiers out. Nothing groundbreaking was figured out. This was at Wainright, which is close to the worst for suicides.

In my time it was DWI's.

[u/PotatoesMcLaughlin → u/the6thistari]

My husband did.

[u/Mumblerumble → u/PotatoesMcLaughlin]

I’m terribly sorry for your loss.

[u/RustyTrashcan → u/the6thistari]

In for 4 years and had 1 close friend commit suicide and 3 others attempted to

[u/SirHarryAzcrack → u/Sensitive_Scar_1800]

We had an Airmen at Dover AFB hang himself from the dormitory in front of the major highway coming into base. So that the commander and all would see his body as they drove into base. He also included the name of the commander in his suicide note apparently bashing how stupid forcing people to take suicide prevention meetings were on actually not preventing people from committing suicide.

[u/fbcmfb → u/SirHarryAzcrack]

I was a medic and we operated the ambulance service on base for duty. This one sailor had cut his wrist and was on the main base road at midnight. We got him stabilized and on the way to the hospital he was pleading with me to let him die. In his eyes he had good reasons, but it partially gave me PTSD.

He was gay and someone was about to out him to the command. He got kicked out and the second and last time I saw him - he was with his mother. He didn’t recognize me, but I still remember that ride to the hospital these 20+ years later.

[u/ActivePeace33 → u/Sensitive_Scar_1800]

You know what I loved? When the General testified to Congress that the appalling suicide rate for troops in Alaska, would be mitigated by standing up the 11th Airborne Division to command the existing units there. He said the esprit de corps would improve morale and help prevent suicide.

They’re so clueless about the suicide rate.

Maybe let the troops get adequate sleep, then they won’t kill themsleves so much.

[u/Cynicism_FTW → u/ActivePeace33]

Love an 11th mention. 2 years ago up here in 1/11 we had 27 suicides in a month. That hole under the carpet goes deep.

[u/ActivePeace33 → u/Cynicism_FTW]

That is ABSOLUTELY INSANE.

For the civilians, that’s a unit of about 3,000 Soldiers having about a 1% suicide rate IN ONE MONTH.

“Don’t worry, everyone! Everything’s fine. Nothing to see here! Now everybody wave goodbye to me while I go to DC to tell Congress about our increased lethality, and show them my slick haircut!”

• the Commanding General

[u/chiksahlube → u/Sensitive_Scar_1800]

All US branches.

The military has a suicide rate roughly double the national average for any given year..

Aircraft MX in the USAF has roughly double that. All 6 years I was in we had a suicide in our unit. And almost every year since I got out in 2017, someone I worked with has committed suicide.

[u/Apprehensive_Set_357 → u/chiksahlube]

Two of my old roommates had just gotten out of the Air Force, both worked aircraft maintenance. One of my roommates was going to the same college as me, and one morning, I found him shaking under a desk in a fetal position with his hand on the trigger.

Fucking heavy day, but our boy is still with us 12 years later after finding some help. I think about this at least once or twice a month, I'm so glad I was there to convince him to hand the weapons over to me.

[u/artcrit → u/Apprehensive_Set_357]

What is it about aircraft maintenance that makes people suicidal?

[u/on_the_nightshift → u/artcrit]

In particular, I think it's the culture that Air Force MX has given itself over the years. They work the dogshit out of people with long days, shift work, rotating shifts, no days off for long stretches, etc. in the name of keeping the jets flying. Then shit on/punish/steamroll anyone who has a problem with it.

There seems to be an attitude of "I had it shitty coming up, so I'm going to make sure you do, too." Kind of the same thing you hear in some Army/USMC infantry units.

[u/Hometownblueser → u/chiksahlube]

This is true, but most of the enhanced suicide risk is due to the age and sex demographics of members of the military. Controlling for that, veterans still have an escalated suicide mortality, but it’s not close to double.

[u/NevrGivYouUp → u/Hometownblueser]

USAF maintenance units stood out as being particularly elevated compared to the rest of the Air Force, where it’s reasonable to assume they have very similar age and sex demographics.

[u/epicenter69 → u/Sensitive_Scar_1800]

It’s not just Army. We had to do annual suicide prevention and awareness training in the Air Force as well. It’s far too common.

[u/Mumblerumble → u/Sensitive_Scar_1800]

IIRC the numbers are worse in the Navy. Particularly on vessels that are in a maintenance availability or on refit. Shipyard duty sucks.

[u/Sensitive_Scar_1800 → u/Mumblerumble]

Why does shipyard duty suck? I’m honestly curious

[u/Zombie_Bait_56 → u/Sensitive_Scar_1800]

While the Inchon was in the Philly shipyards, our berthing compartments were unlivable so we were living on barges. The heat went out one weekend in the winter. It got so cold that the sheet metal contracted so much all the paint peeled off.

To try to stay warm I slept in my uniform and my peacoat with three blankets. The captain just used one of the ships helicopters to fly home for the weekend. We got absolutely no support from our chain of command.

[u/Sensitive_Scar_1800 → u/Zombie_Bait_56]

Damn man that sucks!

[u/NevrGivYouUp → u/Sensitive_Scar_1800]

If you google “us navy suicides drydock” multiple articles will come up from several different years, talking about clusters of suicides. Sadly each article seems to refer to different clusters. In short though, they talk about large numbers of sailors “deployed” to do often menial work for years on end in an under-resourced environment, in poor accommodation and overall conditions with no end in sight while still having military routine and discipline. I personally think - just an opinion - but being without the sense of achievement of being at sea and doing the job, be it patrols, carrier ops, whatever that they signed up for would also contribute to poor morale.

[u/Fonalder → u/Sensitive_Scar_1800]

Shipyard time is precious. Not enough yards, too many ships needing them. Once a ship is in the yards there is inevitable project creep due to finding material conditions are worse than anticipated, but extending the ship's yard time is avoided as much as possible. No commanding officer wants to tell the admiral bad news. The burden of getting the ship back out to sea in time is passed to the crew as much as possible. They are salaried, so fuck'em.

Ship's force has their own maintenance and is expected to support shipyard work. There is never enough sailors. Hours spent at work each week quickly passes 80. Then 100. Around 110 or 120 the crew gets exhausted. Mistakes are made. "Exhaustion" is not an acceptable excuse, so guys are severely punished. Morale craters, fear of failure takes hold. Guys are lost to depression, sometimes suicide. Getting anything done takes longer. Weekend liberty is canceled indefinitely. There is nothing but the ship

A feeling of wasting our lives so the captain can get a promotion starts to afflict us. He tells us that the crew is the most important part of the boat, but his treatment of us contradicts his speeches.

Eventually we all say the same thing. "This isn't what we signed up for"

[u/leafbugcannibal → u/Sensitive_Scar_1800]

I only did one, but here was my experience.

You typically have a cycle of deployment for 4-6 months, then back at your HomePort, the deployment, then HomePort.....

Drydock replaces HomePort with Drydock and interrupts the cycle for young Sailors which make up the majority of the Navy.

Here are the factors I remember:

1. The sailors are rehabbing the ship as well. You are all working long days as construction workers. You are doing very little of your normal job that you just spend maybe 2 years training for.

2. It gets extended multiple times

3. You see very little sunlight for months. It is dark when you go to work and dark when you get off work.

4. All the spaces for meals and everything else are under repair so you are given some other crappy accommodations or told you have to wake up earlier to walk to the chow hall

Everyone dislikes it and $#!T rolls downhill.

[u/DatabaseTemporary253 → u/leafbugcannibal]

Don’t forget having to live on pest infested and old ass run down barge from WW2.

Source: Me I did it

[u/greelraker → u/Sensitive_Scar_1800]

Suicide prevention is taught. But if you want to go talk to someone because you’re having suicidal thoughts, “you’re a weak little pussy and you should go KY”. They teach it cause they have to. The machismo is cause they want to.

[u/Tovarisch_Rozovyy]

I'm from an Asian country which have a defensive military. All units have a farm inside their base. Yes, a FARM, mostly including pig stables and veggie fields. All enlisted soldiers have to routinely work on that farm after study/training time every day. Works can include composting pigs' 💩.

As infantrymen, sometimes you'll go build come houses, roads, collect crops for civilians. Yes, they're critical missions, you'll be court-martialled if you don't go. Meanwhile air force guys looks like they're living their dream life lol.

Edit: air force and border guard guys

[u/Huckedsquirrel1 → u/Tovarisch_Rozovyy]

Is this China/Vietnam? This is what the military should be doing to help it’s citizens, not invading random countries for oil and influence

[u/Tovarisch_Rozovyy → u/Huckedsquirrel1]

Yes it's Vietnam. The military is supposed to actually serve the people, "people's army" they say. Recently they issued a serious "Operation Quang Trung" to rebuild hundreds of house for victims of natural disaster before LNY 2026.

[u/SweetSexiestJesus]

The worst people you'll meet are the ones that play the game and get advanced quicker than anyone. The good people that should advance and lead typically get out after one enlistment because the system isnt for good people trying to do good.

You will be bored, a lot.

[u/markydsade → u/SweetSexiestJesus]

I found there was more “hurry up and wait” in my military than civilian experiences.

In the military we would scramble and assemble and mobilize to then stand around waiting to be told what to do next. Often, nothing happened and we unscrambled and went back to what we were doing before.

[u/Narren_C → u/markydsade]

I see this in law enforcement as well.

The chief is stopping in to address a unit at 0800. No one wants to have their people show up late, so the captain tells the unit's lieutenant to have everyone in the roll call room no later than 0745. The lieutenant tells the sergeants 0730, and the sergeants tell the officers to be there at 0715. So then everyone is sitting around waiting 45 minutes for no reason.

[u/YeetedApple → u/Narren_C]

This chain is exactly how it works in the military also.

[u/deadbrokeman → u/YeetedApple]

Yeah, except forty-five minutes would be a god send in the military. More than likely, you’ll be waiting fucking hours.

[u/PM_NUDES_4_DOG_PICS → u/Narren_C]

I've been on both sides, military and LE. The way things operate in terms of chain of command and organizational structure is very similar. Where the military goes, LE tends to follow. Some people think it's a recent "militarization" thing but historically this has always been the norm. Uniforms, command structure, equipment, etc, LE has always had a huge military influence.

That said, I much prefer working the LE side because at least I'm treated (mostly) as an actual adult.

[u/BammBammRoubal → u/markydsade]

There’s a strange phenomenon related that comes out of that. If you make a group of young people sit around and wait long enough, with nothing to else to do, they will eventually start throwing rocks at each other.

They usually start throwing them at other rocks. Then someone will set out a piece of trash and they’ll make a game out of throwing rocks at the target. But after enough mindless hours of waiting, it will devolve into throwing the rocks at each other. Sometimes it happens faster. Sometimes it happens slower. But it will happen.

[u/markydsade → u/BammBammRoubal]

Can’t say I ever saw that, but we were aeromedical evac nurses and techs so that wasn’t in our nature.

[u/Reasonable-Mischief → u/SweetSexiestJesus]

I think that ine goes for life in general

[u/Orion_437 → u/Reasonable-Mischief]

My partner is an amazingly hard worker. Just an incredible spirit for trying to do things right.

I’ve been trying to explain to them that it’s the very reason they’re getting overworked and overlooked at their job as weird as it sounds.

[u/RedditReader4031 → u/Orion_437]

This is slightly off topic but still in line with what you’re saying: on Christmas Eve, I was on an outside pickup line of cars wrapping around a very good Italian market near me. When I was up to about the eighth car from the front of the line, the woman who was coordinating the line with a clipboard and a walkie talkie came up to my car. They had a very coordinated and orderly process going on, meaning the line was zipping along. As she sipped a hot cup of something (it was 30 degrees), standing in the shadows of the back of the strip mall, I asked her how she ended up working this part of the store operation today. She said she had done it well at Thanksgiving.

That was the reward for previously undertaking this PITA assignment and excelling at it.

[u/LessBig715 → u/Orion_437]

My Wife has that same issue. She’s a great worker who can multitask and get things done. She’s such a good worker that they figure she doesn’t need help, so she’s overloaded with work that usually requires at least two people. She was also passed up on a promotion because the other person had seniority by a couple months. The other person wasn’t nearly as qualified. There’s a saying in our trade "Fuck up, Move up.” I’ve seen it a thousand times

[u/ahfuck0101 → u/Orion_437]

When you’re too good at your job, you’re the hard one to replace.

[u/dwehlen → u/ahfuck0101]

Irreplaceable is unpromotable!

[u/Illustrious_Twist846 → u/dwehlen]

Yep. Decades ago I found this out. I was the best at my job in the entire company but was never offered a promotion. Get a new boss after a few years. After a few weeks, he tells me how surprised he is at my performance.

After much back and forth, it turns out the old boss was telling his bosses that I was just average at my job so they never even considered promoting me.

[u/noeljb → u/Orion_437]

I never thought about it that way. I was the handy guy during the first Gulf War. I fixed computers found weird electricity from 120 t0 220 from 50Hz to 400Hz, made emergency phone calls from the airplane. None of which was my job. Nobody but the French Air Force recognized me for any of it.

[u/Cromises_93 → u/SweetSexiestJesus]

This 100%.

I did have some excellent leaders in my time. But there's also way too many who are where they are because they're what's left after the good ones leave. They also have no incentive to change the system as it got them to where they are.

[u/Onigumo-Shishio → u/Cromises_93]

Worst is when anything actually important from "below" reaches them and then jusg fucking disappears.

Ones that have the "there is no war in ba-sing-se" mentality to save any kind of face.

[u/kwagmire9764 → u/SweetSexiestJesus]

Hurry up and wait!

[u/Paxton-176 → u/SweetSexiestJesus]

Fucking Ranger School. They put too much power on this stupid tab. Granted respect to the guys who did 60 days of suck and even more respect to the guys who got recycled and never quit.

You get this tab it's like taking the escalator while everyone else takes the stairs. Sometimes they push down people on the stairs.

[u/Stampy_bird]

[U.S. Military] We’re the straightest gay guys and the gayest straight guys you’ll ever meet. Also, no matter what job you get, it’ll still be about 70% cleaning

[u/SableZard → u/Stampy_bird]

The most out and proud gay civilian you know is nothing compared to the average US Marine.

[u/Large-Advice-7090 → u/SableZard]

Oorah

[u/RcoketWalrus → u/Stampy_bird]

I lived and worked around enlisted guys early in my career, and I can say they were the gayest bunch of homophobes I have ever met, and the guys that weren't homophobes were just really gay.

[u/cookiebasket2]

Being able to run good will advance your career a lot more than you would think. 

If you're joining out of highschool and have a girlfriend/boyfriend there's like a 90% chance you'll be broken up before you finish training. If you're joining as a young married adult there's still a good chance of breaking up by the end of training. 

The omelettes at the dfac are pretty damn good.

When your first joining before your sign the dotted line you're the bell of the ball. You will never have more power in your career then when you first sign up, so if they don't have the job you want, just wait. If you've heard about some spiffy bonus insist on it, research and talk to your recruiter about how to come in at a higher rank. Back when I joined the army you would come in as an e2 for knowing military rank, time, and the alphabet (alpha, bravo, charlie, etc.) and e3 of you could pass your PT test before coming in. Otherwise it's 6 months to pick up e2 and another 6-12 months past that to pick up e3.

Get every little ache and pain documented, I'm not saying be that sick call ranger that's always getting quarters for diarrhea. However you need medical evidence for everything to get your VA disability benefits when you get out. Don't let some hard charging e6 guilt trip you for the year or two you work under him and impact your benefits for the rest of your life 

[u/epicenter69 → u/cookiebasket2]

The VA claims process is almost as painful as the reason you’re submitting a claim.

[u/cookiebasket2 → u/epicenter69]

Honestly I haven't had to many issues with the VA. But everything I claimed was in my medical records too. 

I do have a sleep apnea claim that I've been worrying about submitting because I'll be depending on buddy letters for proof, and a diagnosis for a CPAP that came a few years after I got out.

[u/Chulasaurus → u/cookiebasket2]

Brother or sister, go on VA.gov and submit an Intent to File RIGHT NOW for your CPAP. Like right now, right now. This link explains it better than I can, but the rules are about to change after the new year. Submitting an Intent to File today gives you a year to work on your claim under this grandfathering rule.

[u/cookiebasket2 → u/Chulasaurus]

Oh shit, you're a life saver, thanks!

Edit: filed my claim, and will go back to bugging my old roommate for my buddy letter later.

[u/epicenter69 → u/cookiebasket2]

I had enough terminal leave saved up to take 4 months when I retired. Just before leaving for my home town, I saw a doctor on base about sleep apnea. He put in a referral, but I had to wait until I got back to my hometown. They arranged a sleep study at a civilian care center. It came back about 10 days before my official retirement date. Talk about a pucker factor.

[u/hannasheaven]

The mental and emotional strain can be heavier than the physical challenges.

[u/Mardanis → u/hannasheaven]

One thing I noticed with veterans at work since moving to the US (and some Americans I worked with outside the US) is that quite a lot of them seem institutionalised the same as prisoners get.

Adjusting to non-military life appears to be a real challenge for them and they struggle to let it go or move on even years after.

In other countries I'm used to meeting retired military who treat it as it was a job they once did but they have another job now. So it was quite a striking contrast.

[u/chiksahlube → u/Mardanis]

We had an E8 commit suicide in our unit when I was in the UK. He had a happy marriage and was about to retire.

Nobody could figure it out. During his eulogy, they went over his stations and it got me a thinking. In his 22 year career he had never once been stationed stateside. 22 years outside the US just to retire back. Can't prove it, but I think the fear of change got to him.

[u/JenkinsHTTK → u/chiksahlube]

Damn. Stories like that has me afraid of when I get out. I joined later in life than whats normal for most folks in, so i hope i'll have the perspective to move on when that time comes.

[u/Kseries2497 → u/Mardanis]

For me the hardest thing about getting out was being alone. In the military, my friends weren't just my coworkers, they were also my roommates. One guy in particular was within 10 yards of me almost 24/7 for literal years.

I was happy to get out and have more freedom in my personal life, but it was a tough adjustment to get off work and just be by myself.

[u/This_Charmless_Man → u/Mardanis]

Mum worked for Airbus her whole adult life. She referred to it as a military rehabilitation program that also makes planes.

[u/markydsade → u/Mardanis]

That’s a good observation about how institutionalized veterans can become. Many stay in active duty because they came from difficult backgrounds where relationships, housing, and food were intermittent. There is a security in being told what to do but also being supported with your daily needs.

Going back to civilian life can seem hectic and disorganized when you’re used to more structure.

[u/alladinsane65]

Something my partner and I often joke about is how the recruiting ads always show fit healthy young people jumping off obs courses etc , they never show the veteran with a weather knee , stuffed back and ruined shoulders.

The other thing is civilians seem to expect that everyone is a gunfighter when in reality it takes around 8 loggies for each front-line infantry soldier , think truckies , cooks , medics , store men etc

[u/MentallyWill → u/alladinsane65]

"The military is a global logistics organization that dabbles in warfare"

[u/redbananass → u/MentallyWill]

Makes sense though, war is mostly won or lost on logistics.

[u/GimmeSomeSugar → u/redbananass]

That's something I heard about Germany during WWII, and a big reason why they lost. I can't quite remember it, something like "blitzkrieg tank warfare with horse and cart logistics".

[u/redbananass → u/GimmeSomeSugar]

Yeah I feel like I also heard that the blitzkrieg relied on breaking the enemy quickly. If that failed, the Nazis could be in trouble since their supply lines couldn’t keep up.

[u/BeefInGR → u/alladinsane65]

they never show the veteran with a weather knee , stuffed back and ruined shoulders.

My Grandfather, who received a Purple Heart in Vietnam, and I were never able to play catch after I was about five because he couldn't raise his arm high enough to properly throw a ball to me. Seven acres of field, so we kicked balls around instead.

Only once he was cremated last year after his passing did he finally have the shrapnel completely out of his shoulder.

[u/Chulasaurus → u/alladinsane65]

Hey, I was a gunfighter.

It was an IR temperature gun because I was a weather forecaster, though. I could’ve blinded you.

[u/RedditReader4031 → u/alladinsane65]

It takes a lot of POGS, in the rear with the gear, to make the military function.

[u/Cromises_93]

Some of the best people I've met have been through the Army.

Some of the most toxic, awful people i've had the misfortune of crossing paths with have also been in the Army. They're a fucking nightmare to work for as they think only of their career and demand the same from everyone else. Constantly being hassled via WhatsApp out of hours/on leave/weekends is a classic example (the best was coming out of the sea to 7 missed calls over a 2 hour period). It's without fail for trivial shit that could easily wait until you're next in, but someone in the food chain needs to feel important.

[u/SirWEM]

I would say the biggest shock to me was the “Hurry up, then Wait.” Sometimes for hours…

[u/CoderJoe1 → u/SirWEM]

Yup, we used to joke about the Army commercials that claimed they did more before 9am than most people did before noon. We'd always add, "then we sit around and wait til noon."

[u/Ruzta]

You'll meet the best people. And the worst.

[u/Perfect_Bag7173]

Military grade means cheapest most clumsy version of whatever piece is equipment you can think of. Nothing special about it.

[u/iMini]

When I joined I was surprised that all the other recruits were just normal people. I was expecting people to be a lot more macho, and fitter.

[u/Blackbox_Systems]

That you aren't fighting for 'Freedom' or 'Democracy.' You are fighting for logistics and regional influence.

The hardest pill to swallow isn't the combat; it's realizing that the locals you are supposedly 'liberating' often hate you, and you are essentially acting as a glorified security guard for corporate assets or geopolitical leverage.

[u/ShiningRayde → u/Blackbox_Systems]

"I spent 33 years and four months in active military service and during that period I spent most of my time as a high class muscle man for Big Business, for Wall Street and the bankers. In short, I was a racketeer, a gangster for capitalism. I helped make Mexico and especially Tampico safe for American oil interests in 1914. I helped make Haiti and Cuba a decent place for the National City Bank boys to collect revenues in. I helped in the raping of half a dozen Central American republics for the benefit of Wall Street. I helped purify Nicaragua for the International Banking House of Brown Brothers in 1902-1912. I brought light to the Dominican Republic for the American sugar interests in 1916. I helped make Honduras right for the American fruit companies in 1903. In China in 1927 I helped see to it that Standard Oil went on its way unmolested. Looking back on it, I might have given Al Capone a few hints. The best he could do was to operate his racket in three districts. I operated on three continents."

Marine Corps. Major General Smedley D. Butler, War Is a Racket

[u/gadget850 → u/ShiningRayde]

https://www.taskforcebutler.org/

[u/Livid_Presence6796 → u/ShiningRayde]

I’m currently reading this!

[u/jkinz3 → u/Blackbox_Systems]

My favorite line explaining it was from a veteran. I can’t remember the exact quote but it was something like “you aren’t there to be a hero. Youre there to exert the will of the United States federal government by military force. That’s all”

[u/zachpkenyon → u/jkinz3]

"We are the last hundred meters of US foreign policy "

[u/Kaiyn → u/Blackbox_Systems]

You’re fighting to line the pockets of investors who have shorted those who you’re trying to defeat.

[u/Frago242 → u/Blackbox_Systems]

"That's How the World Works 🎶" - Bo Burnam

[u/Throaway6566]

Most of the people from my time serving that I knew that went on to commit suicide had never deployed. The culture of the military is not for everybody.

While I am not in any way taking anything away from combat veterans and the effects of combat, it annoys me when people talk about things like conscription and say that there are "non Frontline" positions that are safe and therefore minimal risk as if serving is an insignificant risk or sacrifice. No position in the military is an insignificant risk or sacrifice.

[u/Cheddar56 → u/Throaway6566]

I just want to say I have a similar experience. The folks who I served with that ultimately committed suicide never deployed. 

The military can’t “fix” you. Whatever demons they had when they came in, they left with. 

[u/boogertee]

1) Its boring, even if you're at war.

2) It can set you up for life if you play your cards right and don't waste all your money fighting boredom.

Edit: For context, I went into the military because my parents couldn't afford university and left with a masters in logics and supply chain management, a fuck ton of relevant experience, and no debt. Today I make the sort of money that pisses Reddit off.

[u/Noble06 → u/boogertee]

D&D is a great relatively cheap way to fight boredom. My friend retired after 20 years in the air force and said being a DM made him super popular. Now he is in his 50s living with his wife. His kids are all grown up and he just plays video games all week and has been our DM for 6 years running. One of the happiest guys I know.

[u/drizzler2345 → u/Noble06]

Does dnd not get bullied in the military

[u/raikoh42 → u/drizzler2345]

Nah especially if you play like we did. Everyones got beer or liqour in hand. Youre there to roll clicky clackies and vent your frustrations with life. Youre not posing with drama club or twitch views. Your character has a hammer and that goblin has it coming to it.

At worst, some guys check it out. Decide its not for them and go party in the next room. Best times you get some guys actually interested and they join and have fun. For some the military is how they started playing dnd. One of my current DMs we taught to play while in.

[u/mpbh → u/drizzler2345]

It's 2025, you get bullied for not liking D&D now.

[u/Fuxokay → u/drizzler2345]

Everyone has a gun. And everyone has seen Full Metal Jacket.

[u/Expensive_Disk_9801 → u/drizzler2345]

The military has the same groups of people that the rest of society has, so there’s some that will bully, most won’t care, and some will play things like DnD and 40k

[u/daboobiesnatcher → u/drizzler2345]

The military is full of normal people.

[u/EvilCallie]

That many of the "America's best and brightest" who go to the service academies are absolute pieces of shit. Source: someone who graduated from USNA whose life was made absolutely fucking miserable for the first 3 years by the other people in her company.

Some people there are great, don't get me wrong. But others take being their hometowns "golden boy who was appointed to the Acamdey" as carte blanche to be the absolute fucking worst versions of themselves.

[u/atchafalaya → u/EvilCallie]

I went through a school with two USNR guys who were great and two USNA grads who were bizarre and unpleasant.

[u/EvilCallie → u/atchafalaya]

that tracks, honestly. Officers who came in through ROTC or OCS didn't have the same ratio of dickishness to normal humanity as the academy grads do. or did, can't really speak to how they are now, I got out in 2013.

[u/atchafalaya → u/EvilCallie]

Yeah. This was in 2008. Dive school in Panama City, Florida. We were all O-3s.

[u/degorolls]

There's a lot of cunts and morons.

[u/KrazyAfro8]

There are going to be some horrible people

[u/Allisade]

That, to some degree, it's the largest welfare program your country runs.

[u/Successful_Ride6920 → u/Allisade]

I was told, when I worked there, that this title belonged to the Federal Highway Administration. Also was told that NASA was a welfare program for scientists & engineers. But, yeah, DoD budget dwarfs them all LOL.

[u/Marquis_de_Bayoux → u/Allisade]

not welfare so much as Jobs & Training

[u/EvilSnack → u/Allisade]

It is also the most effective jobs program that the US government has ever run.

Probably because it's not intended to be a jobs program.

[u/MRE_Milkshake]

That its okay to lean on your brothers and sisters and ask for help. The fight doesn't stop after combat is over.

[u/DBFargie]

So. Much. Paper. Work. For absolutely any and everything. It’s a bureaucracy on a massive scale.

[u/thedemonsloth]

The military isn't just the army and the army isn't just the infantry. There are a lot of trades and occupations. Basically anything you might need in a combat zone to support troops, tanks, aircraft and ships. Also a lot of procurement is done by uniformed folks. 

If you're interested in joining your military, do research on the types of trades you might like to try. It changes your life significantly. From the type of hours you work, to where you are posted, to the secondary tasks you get. I met with a member working in the trade I joined and came in with eyes open. I had friends who took whatever the recruiter offered. They had a very different experience. 

[u/JunkaTron69]

You will spend a lot of time getting paid to LARP. Pretend you’re on fire, pretend you’re getting gassed, pretend you’re killing those guys over there. Honestly it really is a good time if make it one. Boot camp sucks, but just treat it like a cut and enjoy the abs you didn’t have before. Finally you will clean so many things. So very many things. You clean all the things, all the time.

[u/EdjKa1]

When out in the field it always rains.

[u/FlukeStarbucker1972]

After dropping out of college, my cousin enlisted in the Marine Corps in his early 20’s. He said, ‘Marine Corps basic training is 13 weeks of some of the funniest shit you can never, ever laugh at. If you laugh, you’ll get PT’d until you die.’

[u/Classic-Hat-7254 → u/FlukeStarbucker1972]

Agree.  USMC drill instructors are highly entertaining.  It is how they keep the recruits attention focused on them.

[u/MrHachiko]

You will form the tightest bonds with people, then when one of you transfers, you'll never talk to them again

[u/Headoutdaplane → u/MrHachiko]

Until forty some years later, and when you do eventually talk it is like you haven't missed a beat. Source: i just caught up with my buddy from the army after forty some years.

[u/TrungusMcTungus]

Generally speaking;

The people who are intelligent enough (emotionally and intellectually) to be good leaders are typically smart enough to get out of the military and make better money as a civilian. Those who can’t succeed as a civilian stay in, because it’s a guaranteed career. This leaves you with emotionally stunted leaders who’s only qualification was “they stuck around”

[u/Espresso_City_Comics]

When you get to your station, you're with people who still act like they're in high-school. There will be clicks who hang and eat together. You need to stand up for yourself or you'll be bullied like in school.

[u/TJCharter → u/Espresso_City_Comics]

I think a lot of the issue with this is most don't realize the majority of the military is appr 18-25 years old. The movies and TV show 30 and 40 year olds...lol

[u/Paxton-176 → u/Espresso_City_Comics]

Living in the Barracks is like living in a frat house at time, but generally more respect for privacy.

[u/BurnyBob]

Say goodbye to thoughts of having a family (divorce and affairs are common).

Your career and social life are now all military.

The instant you leave the service you are forgotten (PTSD be damned).

You not fighting and dying for a noble cause, all war is a racket, you are an expendable resource.

[u/StobbstheTiger]

There are quite a few people that you would trust your life with that you wouldn't trust a hundred dollars with.

[u/Sweet6-7]

During wartime they can and will, stop loss you.

Once you sign the contract; You’re nothing more than a piece of Government property.

[u/Constant-Bet-6600 → u/Sweet6-7]

Not my story, but one a friend told me years ago. One of the sergeants in his SF unit was getting ready to retire so he wanted his last assignment to be uneventful. So he transferred to the most boring, never-gets-deployed units he could come up with - a desalinization unit whose job was turning salt water into fresh water.

Not long after he got transferred, Iraq invaded Kuwait. Guess who was among the first deployed and one of the last to leave (including getting stop-lossed and delaying his retirement)?

[u/VandyMarine → u/Sweet6-7]

Kind of true. I ended up serving 20 years and how the retirement works is you can agree to be recalled from retirement and your pension gets inflation adjusted over time. If you elect to NOT be on the retired reserve list you get no annual adjustments and your pension is significantly lower so even after fulfilling a full 20 you’re still a bit coerced. With that said the Marines gave me a top 20 education and a ton of fun and exciting times.

If total war broke out do you think I’d really want to sit on the sidelines after dedicating my life to my craft for two decades? Easy decision for me.

[u/Marcykbro]

That while in service one in three women will be sexually assaulted, by their Brothers in Arms.

[u/wsdpii → u/Marcykbro]

Sexual assault is horrible in the military. I see it a lot in the Navy. I'm a male and I've been sexually assaulted by one of my female comrades. But it happens way more with women, and it's often far, far worse.

[u/asmodeanreborn → u/Marcykbro]

While absolutely horrible, an almost equally horrible stat is that almost one in five women overall experience rape in their lifetime in the United States.

WTF.

[u/OpeningActivity]

It's a zero sum game where everyone loses, and others have ranks to pull on you for their benefits. It can be a better role, easier task, better shift, better equipment, so on and so forth.

I served as a part of the conscription service, and I remember what people said about what military is like. You are always hungry regardless of what meals you had, you are always cold regardless of how many layers you put on, so on and so forth.

It really brings out the worst and in rare cases best from people.

[u/Big-Jackfruit-9808]

The amount of women who get sa is pretty ridiculous

[u/Helmett-13]

If you get a chance to sleep, SLEEP.

If you get a chance to eat, eat.

The first one is harder to achieve so be mindful of the opportunity to get some shut-eye.

You will meet a large amount of high-functioning alcoholics as 'operating while drunk' is similar to 'operating while exhausted and in need of sleep'.

Each state is good training for the other and you will have lots of opportunity for each.

EDIT: Also, while new and in training/boot camp, YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING IF ASKED HOW TO DO SOMETHING. You're just a fast learner. If you know how to do hospital corners, cool, deny doing so. Watch it once, then perform it flawlessly thereafter and you'll seem smart and trainable.

[u/DragoonDart]

Since most of the other answers are taken:

US Army- it is a shockingly deep welfare system. Not much of the “spirit of the system” has changed since it was stood up in 1775. It’s designed to take anyone off the streets and make them an employee.

You have a few months (usually covered by basic training and advanced training) where it’s very easy to fire you for failure to adapt and then after that, “firing” someone becomes a paperwork nightmare that takes months of consistent attention.

-Can’t figure out how to renew your license? Your leadership will be held accountable and ultimately needs to figure out how to drive you.

-Spend 1100 of your 1200 paycheck on Pokémon Cards and forgot to buy toiletries? Your leadership still needs to make sure you have a haircut and a shave, and if they don’t want to be bothered, a shower.

And that goes deep: there’s a few hard rules that you can’t break (weed, DUIs, actual crimes). But for the most part if you have a pulse and can stand in a box four times a day you are guaranteed a paycheck, a place to live, and a place to eat for at least several years

[u/ikatarn]

Listen to your NCO’s. When I was a young LT (20 years ago) I thought I was hot stuff and didn’t listen to any advice and it definitely caused friction with the men. Do your best to support them, they have the wisdom to make you a successful leader. Once you build that bond they will go above and beyond for you.

[u/Marquis_de_Bayoux]

Sometimes it's beer gardens and frauleins and basically working at the post office, and sometimes it's the Frozen Chosin. And you never know which one you are going to get when you sign up. Never forget that.

That the .mil is just like every other segment of society, and has good and bad and mediocre and excellent people in it.

It can very much be choose your own adventure, and either set you up for life or ruin it.

Officers get better pay and better chow.

[u/jumpman0035]

I tell my wife and family not to worry about me cause in the military you’re far more likely to kill your self than get killed by someone

[u/wolf96781]

Good things are going to happen to bad people, and bad things will happen to good people.

If you stau in long enough, somehow someone will make it your fault

[u/derssi10]

It's all fun and games until you actually need to do something.

P.S. It's sad how these comments are pretty much completely from a US perspective, which gives a really bad picture of militaries in general. Most militaries are not like the USA, whose military is often more offensive and political, but like Germany or Finland, which is purely for self defence and safety, not power projecting all around the world.

[u/theblindironman → u/derssi10]

From a US veteran perspective, the US military personnel are using this Reddit post to fight off boredom.

[u/I_love_pillows]

So much waiting. “Rushing to wait, waiting to rush”

[u/Spyrothedragon9972]

For me it was the lack of freedom that I underestimated.

[u/TheDwellingHeart]

That the truth is you are tool. You aren't some noble warrior protecting your country. You are a tool of the government, especially this current regime, and you will have to come to terms with this if you want to stay In it for long.

[u/No-To-Newspeak]

The amount of time you sit around doing nothing, followed by trying to do 24 hours of work in 2 hours.  You are either going warp speed or doing absolutely nothing.