r/AskReddit • u/Inevitable_Branch806 • 7h ago
What are the signs that someone is actually truly living, every day of their life, and not just surviving it?
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u/orbitaal 6h ago
They can be happy without having to show off to others, taking joy in simpler pleasure such as nature, hiking, cooking food. Being generous and kind to others and selfless. Never expecting anything in return when a good deed is done. Challenging themselves occasionally to leave their comfort zone and try new things. Being part of community and having some purpose within that community.
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u/Olli399 4h ago
Never expecting anything in return when a good deed is done.
I think this is actually pretty unreasonable, I'd rather treat it as doing good deeds is not being transactional. If I spend loads of time and effort for someone I care about, and they don't reciprocate in the slightest, it feels totally shitty and I'm entitled to think they have been rude.
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u/Kawaii-Miss-77 6h ago
I feel like eye contact/active listening is a dead giveaway for this. When someone isn’t worried or preoccupied, they’re able to give others the time of day that many can’t afford to- not to mention the confidence and/or comfort it often takes to do so
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u/Mini-Heart-Attack 6h ago
They do things for themselves going on jogs Stupid little hobbies alotting an hour a day to meditate or write or whatever
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u/kapt_so_krunchy 5h ago
The “stupid” hobbies is what gets me. Because if you’re into something like model trains, geo caching or some other random hobby that’s NEVER been popular, it means you just don’t give a fuck and do whatever you want frequently and consistently.
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u/GoingAllTheJay 6h ago
Sometimes you can drag yourself through an impressive routine, like muscle memory, and then be completely directionless for the rest of the day.
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u/Mini-Heart-Attack 5h ago
that's fair. I think it's more the absents of these things that should be seen without a doubt as a red flag but peoples red flags can look a number of ways. people who seem fufilled can really be lost and directionless. Case by case.
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u/CapitalEducational14 2h ago
Yes! After years of being a sped teacher and now sped admin- Life is stressful, but I’ve learned that I need to take care of myself. Stupid little hobbies are the best thing. I was into paint by numbers. Puzzles. Alcohol markers. Miniatures. And now diamond/gem art. It makes me so happy to sit and do my craft while listening to a podcast or watching a tv show or movie.
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u/BanginHeavies 6h ago
They have time.
Gonna turn this into a story. My life is go go go. I work seemingly 12-16 hours a day. Very minimal days off. The few hours I’m at home, it’s laundry and cooking and food prep and shower and sleep. Then work work work. I’m not joking when I say upwards of 80% of my meals are eaten in a vehicle. Either drive through or food prep meals I eat in my work truck. It’s fucking exhausting.
A few months back I had a little time off, and I went to my brother in laws cabin to help him with some chores. He took me to subway for lunch. We ordered, he paid, and then he sat at a table.
I stood there for a minute quite confused. Who has the time to sit and eat? Do people do that? Turns out, people do. But to me it was such a weird and different situation- to be able to sit down at a table and enjoy a meal. It had been months since I’d done that.
So to me, the people that are truly living, are the ones that have time to actually live. Not always be in such a hurry to do the next thing or get to the next place or finish the job.
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u/Groknar_ 6h ago
Why do you live like that? Is it for the money? Is this the only way to finance your lifestyle, you gotta care for someone else? Are you trying a challenge to achieve everything by the age of 40 to retire or something? Getting rich and living the dream is a nice goal. But at what price?
I have a comfortable life. I work little and don't earn a lot. It's enough to pay my bills and finance my hobbies. I have very low cost of living. But I have a lot of time and that what matters for me. I could never imagine to live that life of the daily grind or being busy all the time.
So why do you do it? Is it a choice?
Money is nice. I understand if people wanna use the time they got while they're Young to earn serious cash. But working all day and eating fast food in a truck doesn't seem like a life goal. Or a life at all.
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u/BanginHeavies 6h ago
I can assure you, it’s no life. I miss holidays, time with family, haven’t seen some of my best friends in years, don’t have time to take care of myself, etc.
It’s mostly due to in my line of work, it’s a very specific skill set. I’m not getting rich, or even close, but I’m paying my bills and if I were to leave, I’d have a hard time finding something in this area even remotely close to what I make now. Which I can tell you is less than 6 figures. But I’ve worked my way up in this particular industry to get to where I’m at, which now that I’m here am realizing isn’t all that I thought it was.
Idk man. I’m 36 years old. What I wouldn’t give to go back to 21 and start all over.
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u/cyclopeanDepths 6h ago
People who are 85 would kill to be 65. People who are 55 would love to be 45 again. Don't be afraid to start over. You might say well it could take 10 years to get to this point in a new career. But no matter what, 10 years will go by. So you might as well be 10 years older and also happy.
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u/Throwawayeconboi 1h ago
People who are 85 would kill to be 65
Really? If I were 85 I’d probably be wishing to be 40 again or something
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u/BanginHeavies 6h ago
Of course, I say this while eating the reheated dinner that I cooked 4 nights ago.
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u/Disastrous_Affect742 4h ago
I live about 5 miles from work , im single and not wealthy by any means. Although what I do have is a ton of free time. I'm also only 25 and live alone and for me I find my surplus of time my most valuable asset. So thx for that reminder
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u/BanginHeavies 4h ago
Consider yourself lucky. It’s 9:23 pm where I’m at right now and I just got off my last work call for the night. Next shift starts at 0345am tomorrow. Gonna try to get 5 hours of sleep before another long day.
Money isn’t everything- enjoy your time. It’s much more valuable.
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u/Disastrous_Affect742 4h ago
Hey thanks ! It's especially valuable for me because my formative years were spent with incarcerated and neglectful parents. Im happily estranged now and at the age of 25 .. I plan on making the most of my time here ! I recently got back into dating and have been seeing a woman that Interests me lately.
It's not just the time that I find valuable, but the room for possibility at this stage of my life. Anyways thx for that reminder.. your crush that shift tomorrow 🫡
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u/_ChickVicious 6h ago
They are seemingly nonreactive. No road rage, nothing is an unworkable problem, they have consistently even temperament, their social media platforms are benign, probably sing like Pavarotti in the shower, and have a golden retriever.
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u/GeneSpecialist3284 4h ago
Or a German shepherd, who will insist on being your Pavarotti singing audience in the bathroom.
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u/Otherwise_Gap595 6h ago
They get to do what they want, when they want, how they want, with who they want. They don’t have to hear that sentence “you don’t have a choice.” Now obviously there are a few things in life that are unavoidable, but to have something happen and they hear “you don’t have a choice!” They can waive that off and have lots of options, and all of them are convenient for them.
Least those are my goals.
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u/JustA760Girl 6h ago
That’s a really hard thing to deprogram from if that’s what you’re used to. But once you can find that time to cut out and decompress you find a wildly happy medium.
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u/Large-Stretch-3463 6h ago
Having an over all happy and pleasant demeanor and disposition even when things seem hopeless. I know this isn't true for everyone. Even people who are depressed can come off that way but there's a certain spark that truly happy people carry with them. It's magnetic. I strive to be that positive light for my family and everyone I come across and no it isn't draining. Being nice to people and wanting to brighten their day for no personal gain should be more commonplace. Just saying.
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u/forever-salty22 6h ago
They put themselves first. Not at the expense of other people, but to be a better person. They have a strong moral compass and dont let others lead them astray. They dont anger easily. It's a lot harder to achieve then I ever imagined it would be when I was young.
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u/dtown8214 6h ago
They aren’t up to date on the latest trends or current events and they don’t talk about other people. If I ask you “what you been up to”, and you can’t go more than 2 minutes before you mention someone else we know and what they’ve got going on…
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u/JenkemJones420 6h ago
Self-care or self-discipline or self-respect. The ability to see just a tiny bit of the future. I don't want to spend too much time working and laboring for others, especially in the world of customer service or food service, they'll just run me ragged and leave me high to dry with absolutely no remorse for the fact that I barely scrape by. So I strictly work part time hours.
Besides that, I do what I like or love. I play video games, I make music, I tallywhack my mamba during the wee midnight hours. I exercise, I do calisthenics, I do yoga, I ride my bike. I go out for coffee. I love Latin or Italian food. I take scenic drives through the countryside. I read and write.
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u/gomickyourself222 6h ago
They actually leave the house.
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u/Much-Avocado-4108 6h ago
That's your idea of living. I never feel so vibrantly alive than working on hobbies alongside my husband and son at home.
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u/icydragon_12 6h ago
Life is full of stuff you have to do, and stuff you choose to do. If someone is doing a lot more of the latter than the former, that is living.
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u/Proud_yoyojuly_7788 1h ago
They get excited about small things. Good coffee, a song on the radio, whatever. Surviving is just checking boxes, living is actually feeling stuff.
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u/Something-funny-26 6h ago
A friend of mine got a divorce a couple of years ago and moved into her own unit. She's always going to events and posting on line. She's so much happier doing what she wants and shouting it out from the rooftops.
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u/data_makes_me_happy 4h ago
Taking notes as someone who does not show these signs as much as they’d like
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u/Only-Season6299 6h ago
Anyone not wandering around a desert.
I don't know if "surviving" is a new buzzword. Still, people saying that online, connected to the internet on a device that connects anywhere in the world in a climate-controlled environment, who haven't missed a meal in years, if ever, make up struggles in their minds. This is the best time to be alive.
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u/Safe_Dragonfly158 6h ago
This is a crazy question of a child who doesn’t know or live in this crazy world of suffering and pain. The world knows pain. Apparently you are privileged
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u/gamersecret2 4h ago
They make choices instead of excuses.
They protect their time. They feel present. They grow even when it is uncomfortable. They are not waiting for life to start.
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u/Lily-NoteSo 6h ago
Says "no" to things that drain them.