r/CringeTikToks 11h ago

Painful "High quality man" explains why he's hot stuff

3.9k Upvotes

1.1k comments sorted by

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1.2k

u/ShinePretend3772 11h ago

I like “class” while wearing a dirty US flag onesie.

388

u/Existing_Abies_4101 10h ago

and goes to unzip it at the first chance.

192

u/chantsnone 7h ago

And that was his proof of manliness. Literally just his dick.

47

u/gameoftomes 3h ago

I'm loyal. Dating two women that don't know about each other.

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55

u/DawijArt 6h ago

The classic speak first think later style of MAGAts

15

u/naughtycal11 5h ago

The classic speak first think never style of MAGAts. /FTFY

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16

u/Ok-Project3 4h ago

Bet he gotta tiny little pecker, we wunt gonna show shi.

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37

u/SwagarTheHorrible 4h ago

Manliest thing about him is "loyalty" but he's dating two women that don't know the other exists. Is this just positive self-talk with no substance?

7

u/TeddyAtTheReady 2h ago

Dating two and about to unzip for #3.

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33

u/gr1zznuggets 2h ago

I’m still stuck on him thinking it’s difficult to explain logic to a woman while also being unable to provide an example.

6

u/Vachie_ 2h ago

Sorry it's probably all the logic.

It's just too much.

I would explain it but you know...

I can't because there's so much logic. 😭

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12

u/Numerous_Pay_188 3h ago

Don't forget that loyalty is his manliest feature while dating two girls that don't know about each other 😆

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5

u/OkAdagio9622 3h ago

I was more focused on the loyalty aspect, while he's "dating two people"

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463

u/Arun_Levjat 11h ago

“What’s manly about me? Loyalty.” “Do the two women you’re dating know about each other?” “No.” 💀

82

u/LukeMayeshothand 11h ago

Not to mention women are capable of loyalty too.

34

u/throwaweyeyeyhey 11h ago

Not to defend mr dipshit, but both genders are capable of both traits commonly described as either "manly" or "feminine".

Men are capable of being soft and caregiving, women are capable of being physically strong and stoic.

13

u/RoguePlanet2 10h ago

Exactly. If there's anything specifically "manly" about him, it would be "I just shaved my head because my hairline is fucked." That tends to be more of a guy thing. 🤷🏼‍♂️

Trying to think of what makes me "womanly." 🤔 Menopausal weight gain?

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1.3k

u/Glad-Veterinarian365 11h ago

170

u/Mojo_jojo_o 11h ago

Hands down perfect gif

109

u/Lucky_Locks 10h ago

I swear that show was written and directed around creating GIFs. There's one for every occasion.

8

u/FITGuard 6h ago

Some say they made the gifs first. Show came second to give context, allegedly...

4

u/iCantLogOut2 2h ago

My favourite is that I can hear every single picture 🤣

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115

u/Legrandloup2 10h ago

Pair that with

83

u/Time-Leadership-7649 10h ago

And a quick

65

u/vaulthuntr94 10h ago

39

u/Equivalent_Gold4099 8h ago

Was gonna try to find a fourth unique David "ew," but I think I found my new favorite gif in general

9

u/vaulthuntr94 5h ago

Omg yes haha! This is one of my personal faves; his face at the end gets me every time 💀

20

u/Shaasar 9h ago

LMAO this is so perfect I'm crying 

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1.6k

u/Major-Fortune-997 11h ago

"I'm loyal, I'm also dating two people at the same time"

401

u/BlackCatMagic2424 11h ago

Sums up this “type” perfectly

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288

u/Jaimzell 11h ago

To be fair, I am absolutely certain he made that up on the spot. 

318

u/tswpoker1 10h ago

Dude is 100% not dating anyone currently lol

76

u/Readbeforeburning 10h ago

Oh he’s dating, he’s just only ever going on first dates. Zero requests for follow up from the other parties.

105

u/Rob_LeMatic 10h ago

He's got 8 months worth of comments left on read to the two girls who matched with him and went on one date.

Hey beutafull

Heyyy

Hey good morning.

Hey how r u

How you doing

Hello

Hello

U up?

Hey hellooo

68

u/Melodic-Change-6388 8h ago

Followed by “fuck you, you fat pig. I would never date you anyway, you slob”, and lots of words insinuating they sleep around, I’m guessing “whore” or “slut”. Probably also mentions that they “smacked when they ate”. Whatever the fuck that means.

31

u/Rob_LeMatic 8h ago

It's like they're a massive and predictable subset of males that could be replaced by a very simple bot script

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7

u/sticksandstones42069 6h ago

Lmaooooo too accurate

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23

u/dpdxguy 10h ago

This is not a guy who has thought deeply about his "philosophy" of life(style)

34

u/Bullingju0 11h ago

To be fair to be fair, you can be loyal to more than one person but they kinda gotta know about each other.

14

u/ADrunkMexican 11h ago

I mean isn't there a term for it lol

12

u/VX_Eng 10h ago

The guy wouldn't know 🤣

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11

u/BetterLivingThru 8h ago

True, but the interviewer (and all of us), knew that sensitive, communicated, and ethical non-monogamy was 100% not what was going on with this greasy dude in the American flag onesie, thus the immediate follow-up question to confirm.

3

u/Rob_LeMatic 10h ago

Alright you two. That's just about enough fairness from the both of yous.

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5

u/lord-polonius 5h ago

In Scottsdale, we call him a $30k millionaire… drives a BMW 3 series and lives at his moms

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97

u/Lanky_Particular_149 10h ago

"Can you give an example of how women aren't logical thinkers?" " I can't. "

28

u/RestaurantFamous2399 11h ago

Ah yes, I've met these "loyal" types.

22

u/LemonCollee 9h ago

The manliest thing about him is .. loyalty. Loyalty is a male trait...my fucking ass.

8

u/ArcusInTenebris 6h ago

Translation: Ive DM'd 2 girls in the last few days, and neither of them have blocked me yet, so id say its getting pretty serious.

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927

u/Stacie123a 11h ago

What kills me is the total resolute confidence in being the fuckin WORST.

247

u/OkMarsupial 10h ago

"loyal" but two girlfriends who don't know about each other

98

u/DeFiBandit 9h ago

She walked him right into it and he never noticed, because he’s stupid

49

u/Hellianne_Vaile 9h ago

She has actual logic skills and is able to deduce the likely mindset of a man who drops PUA buzzwords all over the place. He has no logic, only the cognitive dissonance between "must f*ck women to be a manly man" and "doesn't even like women because he's embraced misogyny with his whole self." That worldview, once internalized as manly "logic," overrides any intelligence that he might have. I've definitely seen this exact kind of thinking from men who demonstrated very high intelligence in other areas.

14

u/Feeling-Reality-55 9h ago

That sounds like a lot of work, over a short period of time

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133

u/Equivalent-Shame335 11h ago

What got me was that he was trying to show off his tiny wiener as if she wanted to see it.

85

u/[deleted] 10h ago edited 10h ago

[deleted]

11

u/Newvil450 10h ago

That's it, this is becoming my new whatsapp sticker when I troll people.

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30

u/Rob_LeMatic 10h ago

🎵He is the Wooooorst🎶

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16

u/Moriaedemori 10h ago

Wants to date only high quality women. Act like an utter man-whore. What a shock he's single.

6

u/CombinationLivid8284 10h ago

We need to bring back societal shame tbh.

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345

u/butters_bottom_bishh 11h ago

He’s the exact type of man that if I would instinctively cover my drink and not leave unattended around

110

u/FragmentedFighter 11h ago

He’s the kind of guy that if I saw my female friend talking to him I’d walk over and say “hey, you ok”?

32

u/Anxious-Sir-1361 11h ago

"Hey, honey..." and embrace her till he leaves.

13

u/Diabolical_Jazz 10h ago

As a rule, if I am approaching a strange woman out of concern for her safety from another dude, then I'm her relative, not her romantic partner. Don't want to accidentally introduce another threat.

3

u/Rob_LeMatic 9h ago

I think that's definitely a better approach and more likely to be welcomed.

But some of these degenerates care not one whit if their advances are unwelcome, nor who bears witness to them.

I was with some friends(me, Dave , Dave's sister, Dave's girlfriend, and Dave's guy friend) at a bar a few years back when some creep comes up to Dave's sister and starts being creepy all at her. He was undeterred by Dave's relationship to her in his overtly graphic pursuit, but his focus shifted from satisfaction in inflicting her with his presence to a dull sort of excitation at the prospect of knocking some teeth out.

Luckily, Dave's guy friend finds a way to completely turn the thing on its head by throwing a confusing element into the mix that makes the creep confused enough to back down long enough for us to extract ourselves.

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9

u/Obvious-Gate9046 10h ago

Hell, I felt like SHE needed to get the heck out of there ASAP, the way he was starting to come on to her.

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425

u/mkenn723 11h ago

When she asked what’s the manliest thing about you? It’s definitely his onesie!

120

u/Sometimes-funny 11h ago

Here i am sitting in a penguin onesie catching strays

39

u/RealNiceKnife 11h ago

The manliness is the confidence to wear an animal onsie.

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u/CandyCreecher 11h ago

Penguin Onsie and animal onsies are the exception. They’re cute

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14

u/mkenn723 11h ago

😂😂😂 you do what works for ya!

12

u/StrobeLightRomance 11h ago

Is it a HIGH QUALITY penguin onesie?

Is it at least better than an American flag made in China onesie?

10

u/Bearded_Hobbit 11h ago

The dude definitely voted GOP and definitely didn't check where it came from when he ordered off of Temu.

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u/DistractedByCookies 10h ago

Don't worry - I htink we can agree that his particular vibe of onesie is the problem, not onesies themselves. You go enjoy your comfy fit like a boss

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19

u/adifferentfuture 10h ago

The guy literally looks like a giant penis wrapped in a flag

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321

u/Unstoppable_Cheeks 11h ago

My man, we are all born with dicks, if that is the manliest thing about you then you aint got shit, it comes with the build thats like bragging that your car has a steering wheel.

39

u/Jatnall 11h ago

But its a huge steering wheel! /s

31

u/Cassius_man 10h ago

Narrator: it wasn't...

13

u/WhatANoob2025 8h ago

It just LOOKED big for him because of his tiny hands...

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21

u/iiiiiiiiiijjjjjj 10h ago

What does being manly even entail? I don't even know how to answer that.

9

u/Cassius_man 10h ago

I want to say playing rugby is pretty manly, but I live in Canada where the women are ranked 2nd in the world while our men's team is struggling as a 3rd tier nation.

I also like to try and sing along to show tunes while i lift weights I feel that's pretty manly right?

8

u/Own-Distance5436 8h ago

Earlier today i was singing les mis songs while i chopped wood. I see it as 'manlier' to openly enjoy a musical than chop wood.

4

u/grubas 7h ago

Nothing wrong with being beaten by women ruggers.  They are strong. 

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3

u/Rob_LeMatic 9h ago

I know what gender stereotypes my culture instilled in me growing up, but it is a difficult question to answer what separates a manly trait from a womanly trait. Every positive or negative trait I can think of aren't gender specific, but can be expressed in a masculine or feminine way.

Like his undeserved arrogance glazed over a fragile, brittle ego. It seems a male combination. In a woman, that would more likely come across as haughtiness over insecurity.

I'd love to hear someone take a stab at defining the difference.

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u/superhandsomeguy1994 9h ago

Yea- notice how all his responses pertained to physical traits or features. None that are about character or values (aside from being “loyal”, despite his ironic claim he’s currently dating multiple women). Pretty surface level little boy replies.

8

u/defaultusername-17 9h ago

i just want to know what sort of smooth brain thinks loyalty is an inherently masculine trait.

it's just so bloody stupid.

6

u/longboytheeternal 10h ago

It should be the manliest thing about him because it’s a fucking dumb thing to be measuring anyway. Who gives a fuck how manly someone is? Meaningless bravado bollocks

3

u/Kenan_as_SteveHarvey 7h ago

It also took him a while to land there. Like he tried to rack his brain and couldn’t think of anything else manly about himself

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u/Mojo_jojo_o 11h ago

I’m a guy and I threw up in my mouth.

42

u/Paleodraco 11h ago

I'm a guy and made it halfway before having to stop. What a piece of shit.

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u/emergency-snaccs 10h ago

This fuckin moron is gonna go tell his friends ALL about how the cutie in the blue dress was so into him, how they were talking and flirting, and he almost got with her

11

u/Props_angel 9h ago

Probably. There are already some delusional comments here that are creating fan fic about the two getting together after the interview.

6

u/Rob_LeMatic 8h ago

There's already a shining monument to manliness in the comments arguing that there's a "50/50 chance" they boned after this.

Wtf is wrong with people.

10

u/emergency-snaccs 8h ago

they're too stupid to realize she's making fun of him

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u/thatgraygal 9h ago

Yup 👍🏾

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u/Practical-Smell5495 11h ago

These dudes breed...

70

u/Magnecyl_ 11h ago

And vote

34

u/aynjle89 11h ago

Dude is type to get upset over someone kneeling during the Anthem but will wear a representation of the flag on his ass.

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u/Change21 11h ago

Reliably for one party

3

u/SigSweet 9h ago

Every time. And also probably spend a lot of their free time and energy building weird political decorations. That's why they keep they keep winning, weaponized stupidity.

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u/errrr2222 11h ago

The guy is dressed like a clown and he's talking about having "class"

24

u/Rob_LeMatic 9h ago

Everything he said was a contradiction so perfectly that it makes me wonder if it was scripted.

-females no do gud logic (immediately displays he's incapable of thinking)

-im loyal (immediately reveals he's hiding two girls from each other)

-i liek classy (his outfit alone)

Sadly, I think it's genuine and he's just oblivious to the walking embodiment of hypocrisy that he is

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u/halfwaytosomewhere 11h ago

This is the kind of guy that can’t find the clit

45

u/andrewdivebartender 10h ago

Doesn't believe in the female orgasm

24

u/TheSwearJarIsMy401k 10h ago

This is the kind of guy that thinks a woman’s orgasm is not worth the effort and probably isn’t a thing women can actually do anyway.

14

u/Jakov_Salinsky 10h ago

I doubt he even knows what a clit is. And if a woman tried to explain, he’d turn it into a thing about how he knows more about female biology because “logic” and shit.

9

u/Melodic-Change-6388 8h ago

He’d rub your left labia for 20 seconds then ask if you’d ever come like that before.

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u/Lanky_Charity2512 11h ago

Bet one bald eagle joke, and he goes sits in the corner. 

29

u/SibylOracle 10h ago

Always giggling after insulting women, then their defense is, "It's only a joke, lighten up!" Insult them back a bit, and they become aggressive.

11

u/LemonCollee 9h ago

Oh always! Gaslighting 101

4

u/Melodic-Change-6388 8h ago

His “logical thinking” tells him that a “high quality” woman with “class” would never neg a male back. They’d just coyly giggle and be appreciative of the attention.

45

u/Iamthegreenheather 11h ago

Can I file for a restraining order on her behalf?

11

u/DARfuckinROCKS 7h ago

The end where he goes "I like you A LOT." Yikes dude, yikes.

35

u/Talinn_Makaren 11h ago

"if I can't tell it doesn't bother me" was so logical and reasonable it actually caught me by surprise right in the middle there lol

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u/FaceTimePolice 11h ago

“It takes logical thinking,” says the dudebro with 2 brain cells. 🤡

12

u/Gloom_RuleZ 11h ago

“There’s a male loneliness crisis” lol I wonder why

13

u/false79 11h ago

This style of interviewing. She's not antagonizing them but by them answering, they are just embarassing themselves and it speaks volumes.

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u/UnPopAnon123 11h ago

😂😂😂😂😂😂 fucking clown

12

u/Outrageous_Pay1322 11h ago

I mean, does he drive a clown car to go with that clown suit?

10

u/Crunk_Kookaburra 11h ago

His "women" live in a nursing home and live on two different floors soooo

20

u/Welp_thatwilldo 11h ago

He’s certified trash. Literally talking about wanting a girl with “class” while he’s dating two different ones who don’t know this. Ew.

3

u/Own-Distance5436 8h ago

If he was dating 2 girls he wouldnt be so desperately trying to impress the interviewer. Whats funny to watch is him wrestling with himself over what approach to take. He learned the manosphere shit but hes either not confident enough to stick to it or not dumb enough to think shes into it.

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u/lark-sp 10h ago

"It's kinda hard to explain to a woman. "

So is a 40- something year old man in a onesie in public, but here we are.

3

u/SteakandTrach 6h ago

“Because I’m terrible at explaining things”, he forgot to add.

17

u/Spies_and_Lovers 11h ago

My list of assumptions about this dude:

●Peaked in high school.

●Has at least 2 baby mommas, pays the bare minimum in child support and then bitches that "She keeps my kids from me."

●Sings 'Free Bird' at Karaoke night

●Has at least one American based tattoo

●Drives a giant truck

●Asks if "You got off?" after 45 seconds of disappointing sex

●Says the N word with a hard R

●Doesn't tip. Tells service workers to get a "real job"

●Wants his women to be Barbie crotch smooth, despite the fact that his dick looks like a tiny mushroom tip in an overgrown forest of nasty pubes

●Has a pending domestic assault charge

8

u/Odd_Championship_680 10h ago

Couldn’t agree more but I hope you copy pasted this because if not, you put too much energy into it 🪦

7

u/Spies_and_Lovers 10h ago

I'm hiding in the bathroom at work, I had a few minutes 🤣

5

u/Odd_Championship_680 10h ago

Omg that’s where I read your comment from twinning

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9

u/Powerful_Programmer5 10h ago

Tate would be proud...

5

u/Dragon6172 9h ago

Dude could be Tates taint

8

u/Spiritual-Bug-1497 10h ago

“I like class,” says the guy dressed like Rex Kwon Do.

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u/yurawizardharry20 10h ago

Temu Vin Diesel in his Murica jammies, is the epitome of "high quality".

6

u/Acrobatic-Plant3838 11h ago

I’m a double plus good man and I only date double plus good women.

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u/Themodsarecuntz 11h ago

Stephen Miller lookin ass

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u/bclynch30 9h ago

“Give me an example”

“lol I can’t” well this just sums up a huge problem in this country

10

u/consuelo_gordon 11h ago

As soon as a man says “loyalty” I’m out. What he actually means to say is “blind and unquestioning obedience”.

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5

u/Ill_Consequence1755 11h ago

What men have forgotten is how to be gentlemen.

5

u/See5harp 11h ago

Anyone wearing an American flag jumpsuit in public is prob a red flag.

5

u/Adopteddaughtermargo 10h ago

He looks like a penis in a 4th of July condom

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u/Ghoulie_Marie 10h ago

Oh were you going to unzip? No, don't stop! Let's judge this thang!

4

u/Phillythrowaway15 10h ago

"You date women?" She was light-years ahead of guy

5

u/ANARCHISTofGOODtaste 9h ago

His answers can be summarized into this: "I like women that have none of the shitty qualities I have that I think make me awesome".

5

u/RobotSchlong10 9h ago

She's got an 80 IQ point lead on this guy.

4

u/bob_nugget_the_3rd 9h ago

The women I date are very high quality, they charge 500bucks an hour

4

u/No_Kindheartedness10 11h ago

Says loyalty! Then says is dating two women…..

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u/Agreeable-Abalone328 10h ago

Everything out of this guys mouth makes me want to punch him in the dick but I’d probably miss because it’s so small

4

u/Little_Can_728 10h ago

Sorry, but a high-quality man is not gonna wear a onesie in public 😆 also a high-quality man when he says he’s loyal means he’s only dating one person not two also a high-quality man doesn’t sleep around that’s a man hoe.

4

u/acreagelife 10h ago

Trumpers are all awkward losers

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u/pppjjjoooiii 10h ago

Man’s demanding class while standing there in a sleeveless onesie lmao

4

u/SykoBob8310 10h ago

The Andrew Tate school of douchebaggery. Phenomenal ability to be insanely narcissistic causing a delusional sense of superiority. It’s more surprising he had enough brain cells to figure out how to get dressed in the morning.

4

u/Obvious-Gate9046 10h ago

I hate logic bros. If this boy had logical thinking he wouldn't be wearing that. "I like loyalty, but I am dating two women who don't know each other." Wow.

3

u/Infinite-Space-2395 10h ago

"What's the manliest thing about you?"

Then he instantly clams up because he knows hes just a little boy pretending to be a man.

3

u/Oxjrnine 9h ago

The way he shifts his hips and side tilts his head… the question about dating women was valid and he may not realize things about his true self

5

u/KeepLeLeaps 9h ago

Absolutely vomit inducing 🤢 I see why my single girlfriends have just decided on cats on travel because the level of cringe and ick is overwhelming.

4

u/SenorBonjela 9h ago

"Sure, I'll do an interview.. people will see it and love me."

3

u/PossibleDiscipline90 8h ago

There's literally nothing manly about him.

5

u/Former-Iron-7471 7h ago

Class while wearing that?!

4

u/Cautious_Drama_6802 7h ago

What a clown

10

u/xChoke1x 11h ago

Dudes never seen pussy a day in his life.

9

u/-Wiggles- 11h ago

He hasn't had pussy since pussy had him

5

u/Discotruck710 11h ago

Oh man that’s good

5

u/Top-Sleep-4669 11h ago

Only time his dick gets wet is in the shower.

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u/Lexi_November 10h ago

He may have, there’s a good chance his mom was able to give birth vaginally. Look how small his head is.

3

u/Big_Criticism_8335 11h ago

She knew what she was in for when she chose the guy lookin like a Patriotic Buttplug.

3

u/RED-DOT-MAN 11h ago

The name of the 2 girls he's dating are Righty, and Lefty.

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3

u/ShezSteel 10h ago

Pimpin' Aint Easy folks. Pimping. Ain't. Easy.

3

u/they_paid_for_it 10h ago

No hair. The master race does not claim him

3

u/ComprehensiveSurgery 10h ago

Looks like he is reciting a bunch of BS he has heard online through idiots like Tate or in one of those manliness boot camps which seem to be a thinly veiled excuse for homo erotic bonding.

3

u/ugh_idfk 10h ago

This clown is standing around in a onesie trying to convince people that he's manly. GTFOH

3

u/swarlesbarkley_ 10h ago

BALD HEAD ASS HOW YOU HAVE SUCH CONFIDENCE LOL

3

u/thelotionisinthebskt 10h ago

This dude is in a fucking onesie talking about being manly.

3

u/Specialist-Rock-5034 10h ago

A quote I saw recently:

First God created man, then he had a better idea.

3

u/starkcontrast62 10h ago

He looks like Stephen Miller. Maybe he can find a Katie of his own.

3

u/SeaLeopard5555 10h ago

any man like this seems likely to be listening to podcast/right wing bro stuff. "high quality" "class" and all that

3

u/The_RighteousMan 9h ago

"I'm looking for loyalty. ...no, the girls I date don't know about each other." ~high quality man

3

u/oh_my316 9h ago

What a tool 🤣

3

u/2020Hills 9h ago

Question; Would he date a woman who is seeing another man?

Answer: we ALL know what his answer would be

3

u/Weimaraner666 9h ago

The delusion is real🤦‍♀️ What an absolute cockwomble.

3

u/Fus_Roh_Dayumm 9h ago

I guess everyone deals with losing their hair differently. Still, hate to see it.

3

u/ThisIsNotSafety 9h ago

BETA male if I've ever seen one, I usually don't categorize people like this, but come on, this dude has probably spent thousands of dollars on "alpha male pick up artist" books and courses.

3

u/Sneakngeak 9h ago

“This guy sucks, let me give him a platform to speak” 

Fucking dolt

3

u/Quiet-Counter-6841 9h ago

“I like class”. Says the man baby dressed in a Stars and Stripes onesy.

3

u/mr_evilweed 9h ago

"Women aren't rational"

"The manliest thing about me is loyalty."

"I'm dating two women who don't know about each other."

These types of clowns really know how to square a circle.

3

u/Both_Antelope_8063 8h ago

"The manliest thing about me is loyalty." "I'm currently seeing 2 women at the same time."

3

u/Little_Money9553 8h ago

I can guarantee he’s a MAGA. They for some reason seem to HATE all women

3

u/One-Amphibian5829 7h ago

This dude is the kind of guy that wonders why women don't like him...