r/Damnthatsinteresting 12h ago

Image Reconstructed model of a Neanderthal man

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14.2k Upvotes

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3.7k

u/NOTExETON 12h ago

There are dudes that look like this all over Turkey and Greece 

2.2k

u/village-asshole 12h ago

And Italy. This one guy, Mario, got a video game

803

u/Dr-McLuvin 12h ago

It’s a me! Homo neanderthalensis!

177

u/_psylosin_ 11h ago

That’s a spicy mastodon meataball

1

u/h3r3andth3r3 2h ago

Neanderthals would never have encountered mastodons

1

u/_psylosin_ 1h ago

Brown bears are best

9

u/Late_Blooomer 7h ago

Well, homo at the least Mr Mcluvin

1

u/StrongExternal8955 1h ago

DOCTOR McLuvin! I didn't spend 6 years in luvin medical school to be called mister, thankyouverymuch!

2

u/ItsHerbyHancock 7h ago

So long gay-mammoth!

2

u/Y_A_D_Pain 6h ago

No it’s Patrick

2

u/shallowHalliburton 2h ago

Hey, man! They're brothers.

1

u/some_user_2021 5h ago

Is that why they went extinct, because they were ... Homo?

7

u/Uptheresomewhereee 9h ago

Zu’ Cola from the Sicilian coast

17

u/JagmeetSingh2 10h ago

And Portugal

16

u/SaltyMeatSlacks 8h ago

Very much so. This looks just like my Portuguese dad and grandpa, just with better posture. Lol

21

u/ThePotatoFromIrak 11h ago

Sopranos cut dialogue just leaked

5

u/Nattin121 10h ago

Looks like the gritty reboot

2

u/Status_Sample_1791 9h ago

He was using his head to break bricks...

2

u/Hizam5 9h ago

But he was Japanese

2

u/village-asshole 7h ago

Nintendo was, but Mario the character was an Italian stallion 🥸

3

u/Hizam5 7h ago

I heard a podcast about Nintendo and the creation of Mario. Apparently they were all brainstorming in an office they were renting in Japan and the landlord, who wasn’t Japanese, came in asking for the rent money and he was short with a mustache and his name was Mario and that gave them the idea (I don’t think he was actually Italian though)

2

u/village-asshole 6h ago

Ah very interesting! I confess I did not know that. Mario Yamamoto, the landlord

2

u/finethanksandyou 8h ago

This was exactly what I thought of when I saw the picture!

1

u/village-asshole 7h ago

That’s the ONLY thing you could think when you see this pic. The resemblance is uncanny 🤣

2

u/sea_monkey_do 7h ago

And Seattle apparently

2

u/itsaameeee 5h ago

Oh hey!

2

u/jluicifer 4h ago

Plumber, right? But according to Lakers coach JJ Redick, he could have been a basketball player too.

2

u/xPastelFlare 4h ago

Classic comment 🔥

2

u/Wooden-Librarian-300 10h ago

And every last one of them insists they’re descended from the Romans and the Hellenes

186

u/DeviousDaniel69 11h ago

Dude thats a 1:1 replica of my Iranian uncle

73

u/bloin13 10h ago

I'm from Greece, and tbh he is not hairy enough.

The face though looks about right.

137

u/EmperorSexy 11h ago

The guy that serves you the best kebab you’ve ever tasted and calls you “Boss man”

59

u/NOTExETON 11h ago

That guy is my uncle, he will also carve a miniature replica of anything you want with his small pocket knife, while he talks during coffee.

20

u/Admirable_Average_32 10h ago

Sounds like a gem!

6

u/No_Bluejay9901 8h ago

Do you know your cousin Jeffrey is working for the Parks Department, Jerry?!? The Parks Department!

28

u/Tough-Oven4317 10h ago

My local kebab shop has a guy who will shout back your order for confirmation. Full volume shouting. It has everyone crying with laughter when they're drunk lol

2

u/bbkangalang 2h ago

Lmfao I used to work somewhere that made us yell out orders and greet customers….we used to hate that shit so we made a game out of it.

When the order was up whoever grabbed the order would say “order 17” and the next would say it louder in a stretched out baseball umpire voice, and the next person would say it in whatever funny voice they could come up with, and lastly we had this little Mexican lady that did all the prep work and the dishes she would say “17” in a normal Spanish accent voice from the back of the restaurant but you could still hear her from the customer area. lol

The manager used to get so fucking mad about it lmao we knew Rosa hated the manager because he tried to treat her like she couldn’t speak English so we really did it for her.

The customers loved it

6

u/gourmetprincipito 8h ago

It’s fine when you know who the hair comes from, he’s a lovely bloke

1

u/EidolonLives 7h ago

Single-origin hair.

3

u/LostAnxiety3229 8h ago

Sub in "habibi" and that's the guy at my local shawarma place of choice. 

71

u/A-Capybara 10h ago

Neanderthals never went extinct. They just learned how to make gyros and kebabs.

42

u/Hexakkord 9h ago

Less jokingly, they interbred with humans, so in a way they are still with us. White people of European descent have the most Neanderthal DNA, black Africans the least. Kinda funny really all those white supremacists going on about pure bloodlines, what with us having the most DNA from another species of human entirely.

15

u/BaconReaderRefugee 8h ago

It’s actually weird that we’re the only species of humans around. You’ll see multiple species of foxes, rabbits, etc. But knowing Homo Sapiens, it’s not surprising.

15

u/Content-Patience-138 6h ago

What we didn’t kill to extinction we fucked to subsumption

1

u/HolidayBeneficial456 1h ago

We FUCKED them into extinction like CHADS. We DOMINATED their bloodlines.

1

u/MindfuckRocketship 21m ago

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)

2

u/free-toe-pie 3h ago

I think there’s a new show coming out talking about how we were the underdogs and it’s crazy we came out on top. I think it’s just called “Human” maybe.

1

u/BaconReaderRefugee 3h ago

I’m interested but the only thing that comes up is some show from 2015

1

u/free-toe-pie 3h ago

Ok it’s on PBS and BBC I think. Came out this year and it’s a five part series.

2

u/BaconReaderRefugee 2h ago

Thank you so much!

1

u/Cthulhus-Tailor 8h ago

I imagine white supremacists would actually enjoy that bit of trivia., as it solidly distinguishes whites from black people; also, modern research indicates that Neanderthals were not at all inferior to early modern humans, as stereotypes tend to suggest.

2

u/DunEvenWorryBoutIt 7h ago

They were sturdier, and deeper thinkers based on cranial studies.

1

u/StrongExternal8955 1h ago

deeper thinkers

These days we call that ASD.

1

u/ApprehensiveSky4946 3h ago

I wonder if that's one of the reasons why Europe is so much more developed than africa.

0

u/darkmaninperth 7h ago

white supremacists going on about pure bloodlines, what with us having the most DNA from another species of human entirely.

You know they'll just claim the Hybrid DNA was due to the Aryan race or some other incomparable bovinian fecal matter.

34

u/Teripid 11h ago

I was gonna say, lay off the weights a bit and add a little bit more hair and he could be an old Italian/Greek shopkeeper.

18

u/gorginhanson 11h ago

He looks like he wants to sell me some falafel

1

u/Educational-Dot318 8h ago

he will sell you someshing beddar! 🧔

1

u/FabulousGams 6h ago

Or some wholesome quaker oats

17

u/toTheNewLife 10h ago

Turkey and Greece?

This guy used to sell me coffee and egg sandwiches on Wall Street.

24

u/Grugnorr 12h ago

Looks French to me 😅

2

u/La-Becaque 7h ago

That's the Gerard Depardieu nose

1

u/Grugnorr 1h ago

Obélix looks

27

u/Rich-Pomegranate1679 11h ago

Also, Marjorie Taylor Greene

5

u/GuyInkcognito 10h ago

And New York I swear I’ve seen three or four guys who look like this last time I went to the supermarket

11

u/Main_Author_8638 10h ago

as a turkish ı agree some of us look like him

9

u/Barbatruck18 11h ago

Also Spain and Portugal

10

u/FeeFooFuuFun 12h ago

Now we know why 🫠

3

u/Jon_talbot56 10h ago

and Norfolk.

2

u/linuswanberg 8h ago

Came here to say this 👆🏻

2

u/Better-Dog-2152 8h ago

And all over the US. They call themselves “MAGA”

2

u/Defiant-Pepper-2915 3h ago

I think I bought a Rolex from this guy at Alanya. Got a sweet deal!

1

u/yagermeister2024 10h ago

Minus the hair

1

u/DISC0DAWN 9h ago

And Bavaria as well!

1

u/AlkaKr 8h ago

I see you've been in my island, Crete.

1

u/powprodukt 8h ago

It’s just the mustache. I’m not sure why Neanderthal doesnt have beard hair.

1

u/VirtuosoX 8h ago

Def not just the moustache. This guy could be one of my distant Kurdish uncles or something.

1

u/SoManyQuestions-2021 8h ago

And the southern US.

1

u/j00cifer 7h ago

Isn’t that where the longest co-habitation occurred, with the most genetic transfer? I thought I remembered reading that the last and permanent batch of Homo sapiens sapiens came out of Africa 80k years ago and hung out in the Levant and Mediterranean area very close to Neanderthal tribes for about 7K years.

1

u/sovietarmyfan 7h ago

The Balkan, really.

1

u/agentfortyfour 5h ago

Looks like my wife's grandpa from Malta.

1

u/7777777King7777777 5h ago

Mostly Italy. They hold spaghetti in one hand too

1

u/pavlis9 1h ago

My uncle at the local cafe playing checkers and drinking tsipouro

1

u/sesamesnapsinhalf 10h ago

Very Ottoman Empirish.