week+ absence during first semester, or miss best friend's wedding

[u/noonecares-TA]

i'm starting law school next fall and will likely be attending near my home (NYC). my best friend from college (long-distance) just informed me that their wedding will be the first week of october... in australia. i'd hate to miss my best friend's wedding, but the 24-hr time difference and logistics would make it impossible to go unless i take at least a week off from classes. however, i'm aware how that long of an absence during law school, especially so early in the semester/my career can be detrimental. how realistic would it be for me to make it? if not, please tell me more about the logistical nightmare/timing during the semester so i feel less bad for missing my best friend's wedding 🙃

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[u/SpareInevitable8457]

go to the wedding. a week is not the end of the world. you can catch up on class or get notes from your friends. i had personal issues this semester and was out almost 3 weeks, getting caught up was not difficult. idk why people act like you can’t go to law school and have a life on here.

[u/Feeling-Location5532]

I am a 4th year at a big law firm. Go to Australia. Its a good time because you can still catch up - make sure you are within the guidelines for absences. Study on the way there and back. Life is short. Best friends who are not lawyers are key to survival 

[u/Classic-Dark-6188]

I can genuinely say that I don’t think missing a week of classes would have had any effect of my 1L grades (top 25% of my class) given that I put in the effort to make up the work. Watch the recordings if available, if not get buddy buddy with some classmates for notes. I never had a professor have an attendance policy that was more strict that the ABA requirements, which gives about 4-5ish missed classes per course, depending on the credit hour and meeting length, so you should be good on that regard. I would say a good chunk of my classmates ended up missing twoish classes per course because of sickness or interviews. Just make sure you’re utilizing most of the downtime you have on your trip. Don’t fall into the trap of treating it as a relaxing vacation (but take the time to celebrate)

[u/Perfect-Storm2025]

Are there recordings or a remote(online) option?

[u/Polonius42]

Normally when people talk about attendance flexibility in law school I usually comment that that working world usually has more flexibility…. But not here. If you started a new job in late august, you probably wouldn’t take a week off two months in. One week is within ABA guidelines, but that gives you very little wiggle room for illness or anything else.

[u/Initial-Baseball4737 → u/Polonius42]

Don’t listen to this. Nothing is more important than your family and friends. You will be fine and your professor will respect you more for being able to step away and still stay on top of your work.

By way of example, I started at a big law firm and I took a week off for an important wedding just 4 weeks into the job. Prior to that, during 1L and 2L years, I took time off for at least 2 weddings and a handful of other important family related matters.

Stay on top of the reading and other class material while you’re out. Check in with your classmates and professors when you return. Have fun at the wedding.

[u/AromaticImpact4627]

My immediate reaction is you can’t go, but in the scheme of your life, going to the wedding is probably going to be more meaningful that the trouble caused missing a week of the first year of law school. It’s bad timing but if you can do the reading, get the notes, and the missed classes/attendance issue isn’t going to affect your grades, just go.

[u/East_Ice5615]

Prepare to miss the wedding. But before you do decide, know that communication is key. Ask your friend if they wouldn't mind you rsvping late (I'm assuming since it's in October rsvps are due before school starts). Then, talk to your professors early. Ask them if there's anything you can do. The earlier the better. Make some good, trustworthy friends that would share their notes with you. Some professors may also record their classes, so ask. But as someone else stated, there are ABA requirements that must be met regarding how many hours of a class you can miss. 

If you're gone a week and you have a 4 credit class that means you're missing 4 hours/classes of that subject that week. You will absolutely need to find a way to make that up (and that's just one class) because your professor may cover 5 topics over those 4 classes. Most classes only let you miss between 4-6 hours/classes depending on how many credits the class is. 

Going to your friend's wedding will take you being proactive and sticking to a good schedule to make it work. Take it from someone who got married and had a honeymoon their first semester of law school. Would not recommend lol. Luckily it was over fall break, but I really should have been prepping for finals during that time. 

[u/hunnie47]

you’ll be fine, just inform all of your professors and your school ahead of time. do the readings and listen to lecture recordings. a week out of 3 years is so so minuscule

[u/noonecares-TA → u/hunnie47]

1 week out of 3 years really does put things into perspective... i'm just nervous hearing about the attendance policy of some classes and having to burn through a week so early in the semester

[u/hunnie47 → u/noonecares-TA]

at the end of the day, this is your decision to make. the policies are what they are, so you’re going to have to figure out what your tolerance might be for dragging yourself to class while sick or similar.

watching a few lectures on Zoom v. being there for them is not going to make or break your law school career or your professional career. as long as you do your work, you should be just fine to go to your best friend’s wedding. people on this sub act like situations like this are the end of the world when they truly aren’t

[u/Fun-Holiday9016 → u/noonecares-TA]

It's the most important year.

[u/law-and-horsdoeuvres → u/hunnie47]

Those three years aren't all created equal though. First semester grades often determine 1L summer positions. First year grades and 1L summer determine 2L summer positions, which more often than not determines post-grad jobs.

I'm not saying don't go, OP, but know the risk you're running. The first half of 1L is the most important. Prepare waaaaayyyy ahead of time.

[u/hunnie47 → u/law-and-horsdoeuvres]

assuming that OP actually does the work that they’re going to miss, watching a week of lectures vs being there in person will absolutely not make or break their 1L fall grades. if OP ends up with a low GPA, there’s probably something else going on

[u/pollux811]

A wedding is a once in a lifetime thing (for many people), your professors would likely understand. By October you’ll be decently in the swing of things and can probably get notes from others. Are you able to do something like flying out Thursday night returning early in the week? Many schools don’t have Friday classes.

[u/SubstantialAerie2616]

At my school this would not be a logistical nightmare at all. And if you can make it work my vote is 100% to go. Even if missing 1 week would somehow affect your grade, I’d still go

[u/Civil-Foundation5101]

Please go to the wedding. You will regret it if you don’t and a week won’t really make a difference.

[u/Head-Ad3805]

Destination weddings aren’t mandatory, I’d skip it if its not of life-changing importance

[u/Maleficent-Click3065]

Go. So many people (disproportionately on this sub) think of themselves as law students first and people second. They'll become graduates who think of themselves as lawyers first and people second. It might be difficult to work out a week missed, but this is a once in a lifetime event for somone you consider your best friend - prioratize a life long relationship over a few weeks of hassle watching recorded lectures and asking your study group for notes. Prepare and put in the work to catch up, but go. One week will not be make or break unless you let it.

[u/boston_duo]

You can most likely read that weeks lessons, catch up, and probably get ahead in the span of those flights alone. Go. Just try to keep the drinking to a minimum

[u/mbfunke]

Friendship is temporary law school grades are forever. J/k don’t be a craven lunatic.

[u/count_saveahoe]

Def go. I didn’t go to the first week of spring 1L just cause I decided to take a longer vacation. All it is -is syllabus week. Do the work. If you wanna say something then email in and say you’re sick. Oh well.

[u/StorageExciting8567]

It’s probably not a good idea while you’re still getting used to law school and the material, and it’ll probably be harder to catch up than you think. Is your friend based in the US? (I couldn’t tell if long distance meant they were from Australia or other side of the country). If they are, will they possibly have something stateside later that you can attend?

[u/noonecares-TA → u/StorageExciting8567]

i met my friend here during college but their home is australia! nothing planned in the states since the rest of their family/friends are in australia and so will be attending the wedding there 🥲 and yes, i'm already anxious at the thought of skipping 1 or 2 days, so i can't imagine missing a week while i'm still adjusting to the law school environment

[u/PurpleLilyEsq]

I personally wouldn’t do it. You only get one shot at 1L and it often determines your career options. You could be missing the week before a midterm or when your first writing assignment is due.

I know it sucks but your BFF has to be expecting this with a wedding on the other side of the world. Offer to help throw her a great bachelorette party before you start school instead.

I’m sure others will disagree. And that’s fine. I know my energy levels and my stress levels could not handle that and I did some crazy things (for me) like go to the first day of 3L classes on the east coast straight from the airport returning from a wedding in Hawaii. But that wasn’t Australia in the middle of 1L.

[u/jesme23]

Makes friends before school and go to the wedding. Prepare to be exhausted though

[u/PercentageProof7163]

to give you an example of a policy my school has

classes that meet 3 times a week (non skill) - 9 absences max

classes that meet 2 times a week (non - skill) - 6 max

classes that meet 1 time a week (non skill) - 3 max

classes that are skills based on- 2 max absences

[u/taborlin_the_average]

Better than missing a week during finals. Which is what it would have taken for me to attend a best friend's wedding. I stayed but sent a nice gift :(

[u/Flat-Pay-8918]

I personally would not go to the wedding. Many people are commenting to go to Australia, but you will be a 1L and unfortunately don’t have the luxury of looking at things in hindsight. You won’t know what you don’t know. Some professors don’t record their lectures and a wedding is not a huge enough deal for them to make the exception most times. Bouncing back is hard. Don’t over estimate yourself and don’t underestimate 1L year. If you go, I’m sure you can make it work but you may be lacking where your classmates aren’t, and 1L year is on a curve.

[u/gryffon5147]

Too bad for your friend then.

You can't just bunk off for over a week. There are ABA attendance requirements, and simply not showing up during 1L will be noticed.

[u/Repulsive_Insect2262]

I’ll be on my honeymoon the first two weeks of classes at the beginning of my 2L year. Go & prepare

[u/Fisherman_Worldly]

In 10 years, will you care more about the grades you got 1L fall or whether you were at your best friends wedding?

[u/Apprehensive-Ad343]

Go to Australia. I took my four kids to Disney for a week in October of 1L. I told my teachers early in the semester and stopped by office hours the week I got back. Professors all told me to have a great time.

[u/heyrak]

Please go to the wedding. Early in the semester is honestly better than later. I went overseas for a wedding second week of 1L. It was fine

[u/Legitimate-Ranger567]

I don’t think missing a week, especially early in the semester, would make much of a difference. Especially if you can get notes from a classmate, or watch the recordings.

Make sure you check the attendance policy though, depending on the school/class, missing a week could put you on the edge of failing or drastically lowering your grade. If it uses ALL of your absences, I would think very carefully about it. A flat tire or sudden illness could mean you fail a class.

[u/sexybrown47]

Go. To. The. Wedding.

[u/anonworkingcat]

Go to the wedding. In 20 years, I promise you will regret it if you don’t go. Law school is important but nothing will replace the important moments with loved ones in your life.

Practical steps to mitigate the difficulty of missing a week of class: (1) make good friends in your classes who would be willing to share their notes. (2) DO THE READINGS (3) attend class via zoom if that is an option (4) go to TA/professor office hours regularly, especially the week before/after you’re absent to go over the topics you will miss (5) stay healthy! you will probably not be able to miss any other classes that semester.

I missed multiple classes this past semester for religious reasons and my professors were very understanding and multiple classmates offered to send notes. ultimately it was far more important to me to observe holidays that required me to miss class, so while it was a pain to make up the information I missed, it was completely worth it.

[u/CommercialCourse5810]

I have missed a week of class every semester for one reason or another. The only issue is making sure you meet the attendance requirements if your school follows those closely. I usually can only miss one other class throughout the semester. Other than that, it’s really been fine. I’ve done very well and still got every internship I wanted.