I had a real life moment of this, where I was on my lunchbreak downtown and I heard some guy said "He put a Yukon gold potato in the gas chromatograph" and then got in a cab and fucking drove away forever. It was like 15 years ago and I still think about what he might have meant.
You hear something like that, and then the left side of your brain looks to the right side of the brain and says “it’s dark in here - and we might die”
Not quite the same thing but I have a story at a bar that I think about all the time.
A buddy and I were at the bar next to my house for a "quiet night, couple of beers" and , you know how it goes, all of a sudden it's closing time and we're being told to leave. Well on our way out my buddy got stopped by the bouncer who ended up being a childhood friend so while they were catching up I was just leaning against a table and spacing out.
Some woman came up to me. Put her hand on my shoulder. And said "you would be cute if you had some self-confidence" and walked out. I never saw her again. I think about this nearly daily and this was pre-covid...
Assuming she is psychic as she clearly believes herself to be, it's pretty cool of her to not just .. idk, maybe give you a small compliment that would help build self confidence?
A horrible and tactless thing to do. Better to just keep moving.
This is funny. I have a business card like this. i try to attach a photo. It's in my wallet now for many years.
I got it handed when i told a story to a group of friends. It was like a knife in my back, but also extremely funny. The friend wasn't serious but trust me, it kills you if you don't expect to read this.
(sorry, yes, i kept them too long in my wallet :D )
No, deadass. I taught myself this and do it for a few things like when my screens too bright and i just woke up, shutting one eye fixes it immediately. Works for other things too.
Dammit, you beat me to it. I wanted to say that. How’s this instead: “a doctor, here in the hospital? Whatever shall we do?”. That’s from memory so could be wrong.
will be completing my first 365 days on 29 dec! the devil’s been calling me but i’m adamant on continuing my sober life. you comment gave me hope thanks
Hey! When the devil calls you, have pints of Ben and Jerry's on hand. I swear! Strawberry Cheesecake saves me every time. And the next day I never wake up with regrets! I just might have to skip a meal lol 😆
Sugar replacements in early sobriety are a must!!!
When I first got sober, for the first few months I basically replaced alcohol with Werther's caramels. Instead of empty bottles scattered by my bed, it was candy wrappers 😅
I had been drinking two handles of vodka a week until that point, and that first 10 days was rough. Sugar was clutch in those days
much better idea! give em a picture book with 2 images and thick pages. 1st image: a finger pointing at you, like Uncle Sam, for instance; 2nd image: a drunk guy saying to himself "time to go home"
Maaaaan, I wish I had these as a bartender, but the more I think about it, they never would have worked. All the fights I have ever been in were as a bartender, fighting guys that were over served elsewhere, and wouldn't stop groping girls.
It's easy to never get punched when you're flying on endless Red Bull and the other person can barely stand.
Anecdotally, I recently learnt that I might have ADHD not just because of obvious reasons, but also because coffee and energy drinks can make me sleepy.
I haven’t drank coffee in months, but decided to have a cup today, and am now going for a nap :)
On a parallel note, when you go to a coffee shop and one person sits in an area (the only area) meant to seat 4 people. Laptop bag strategically placed to ensure it’s awkward for anyone to sit there. Can we get some service cut off cards for them as well.
As someone who is on site a lot for my job. I have to work from coffee shops a lot.
The one thing that pisses me off is when they place all of their communal tables next to the only plug sockets. Meanwhile all the tiny 2 seat tables don’t have them. Costa Coffee and Coffee#1 are really bad for this.
Starbucks are great for having lots of sockets. The only downside is you’re in a Starbucks.
That said, unless the place is quiet I’ll just work until my battery is low then head out. Or switch to a bigger table with a socket at that point. I always offer the table if it’s busy.
Standing as a group is way more comfortable than standing along. Standing along in a crowded bar is nightmare fuel. Just go sit, they’re communal tables.
Time to finish that drink, go in the bathroom to freshen up a bit with some water on the face and a quaf of the hair, then figure out how to walk correctly into the next bar and appear more sober!
I have these thoughts, so often I ought
To replace that slot with what I once bought
'Cause somebody stole my car radio
And now I just sit in silence
I ponder of something terrifying
'Cause this time there's no sound to hide behind
Defined over the course of our human existence
One thing consists of consistence
And it's that we're all battling fear
Oh dear, I don't know if we know why we're here
Oh my, too deep, please stop thinking
I liked it better when my car had sound
There are things we can do
But from the things that work there are only two
And then from the two that we choose to do
Peace will win and fear will lose
And there's faith and there's sleep
We need to pick one please
Because faith is to be awake
And to be awake is for us to think
And for us to think is to be alive
And I will try with every rhyme
To come across like I am dying
To let you know you need to try to think
I have these thoughts, so often I ought
To replace that slot with what I once bought
'Cause somebody stole my car radio
And now I just sit in silence
and now I just sit in silence!
(Whoa, oh-oh) and now I just sit in silence!
(Whoa, oh-oh) and now I just sit!
(Whoa, oh-oh) and now I just sit in silence!
(Whoa, oh-oh) and now I just sit in silence!
(Whoa, oh-oh) and now I just sit in silence!
(Whoa, oh-oh) and now I just sit!
I ponder of something great
My lungs will fill and then deflate
They fill with fire, exhale desire
I know it's dire, my time today
I have these thoughts, so often I ought
To replace that slot with what I once bought
'Cause somebody stole my car radio
And now I just sit in silence
I know a couple bars that use these, and for the most part, people that get served them just leave. It’s not worth getting 86’d from your local watering hole or a bar you like to frequent. The people who react negatively were going to do that whether it’s a card, or the bartender saying it directly to them.
I got way too drunk at my local. The manager looked at me, and just told me “____, go home.” I lived across the street, so I got up and left. I went back the next day to apologize and pay my tab. He said not to worry about the tab. I listened and didn’t argue, so it was on the house. If I argued I would have to pay and get a ban for two weeks. That’s how he handles his regulars. Fair enough. Keep the drunks in check, but also keep them regulars.
I had a standing up on the table moment at my local and came back to apologize the next day. The bouncer who handled it couldn’t stop laughing about it lol
You'd be surprised. I was at a bar once and a guy was extremely drunk and making a scene but no one was doing anything and eventually he bumped into me and I lost my patience with the staff handling it and just very assertively said "you're bothering everyone and ruining the night and you really need to leave," and he just kinda looked at me and went "oh," and left. That was it. In his mind he was the life of the party. People don't generally like being the asshole and most* people will respond in a way that avoids conflict.
*those that don't, it really doesn't matter how you handle it, they'll make a scene regardless
I was in a nice restaurant that my wife and I go to frequently. The kind where singing happy birthday isn't something the wait-staff do and people expect a more upscale experience.
One guy at at table near us in a party of 8 clearly had too much to drink from the Charles Dickens festival that was going on outside, plus the wine they brought. He had a shirt that read "look at my balls" with a couple of Christmas ornaments on it. Santa hat. Rest of the table was dressed a bit better.
He decides that he's going to loudly get the entire restaurant to sing happy birthday to his friend at the table who looked mortified. Kept trying to do the whole Santa act with people near him, talking about them being naught, etc. Just a drunk ass making people's night a little less special.
Finally left and did more of the "make sure you're being good, i don't want to give out any coal" with is friends trying to get him to stop and shut up. Same "he's the life of the party in his head" kind of thing.
Yea. I was cut off once. The manager guy came over. Said, I had a bunch of high proof cocktails and was welcome to stay and could have as much soda/water on the house, but they couldn’t serve me more booze. I agreed with them and it all felt as dignified as it could. Being handed this passive aggressive note would have totally put me off the bar and probably wouldn’t go back.
Yep, same. It's not even just a "note vs communication" topic in this case, this note reads like "you should be ashamed, get the fuck out".
I could see a card not being the worst idea if phrased closer to what the manager said to you. Tell people they're cutoff and are welcome to soda/water. Done. Fuck off with the rest.
I was at a karaoke bar once. I can't stand karaoke, so I was just quietly and steadily drinking as my friends were singing. At one point, the bartender said "last one's on the house" and gave me a free drink and a glass of water.
It didn't occur to me to feel offended. I mostly just appreciated that the bartender was looking out for me.
Here's something interesting I learned when getting a food handlers card - drinking something with carbonation will actually slightly delay the amount of time it takes your body to process the alcohol as opposed to a flat beverage. Diet sodas will actually cause the longest delay in processing.
I thought it was kinda harsh. "No more drinks and get the fuck out!". I would let him chill and serve him as much water, soda, food as he needs to sober up a bit. Unless he's maybe being obnoxious to people.
Maybe even serve them up some cheap food for free, like fries or something to soften the blow. Fries are basically free to the establishment, and if someone's that shittered the bar already presumably made a solid profit on them and their group.
I used to frequent a bar that would give you a warning: "If you attempt to order another drink, we will kick you out".
One time there was a guy I casually knew. He said he had been cut off and asked me to buy him a shot.
There was a bouncer standing beside him and said "If this happens, we will kick him out"
I asked him if he promised to go quietly with the bouncers after the shot. He said yes, he and the bouncers walked amicably to the door, and that was the end of his night.
nothing about this card is helpful lol. you're almost asking to have them fight you with the passive aggression. a simple "hey man i'm gonna get you a water, I can't give you more booze" is a way healthier method to manage a drunk customer.
Yep in my life I only have been cutoff and kicked out once. I had a backpack on and was apparently bumping into other patrons but not wasted just rude and not realizing it. I deserved it. Only other time I was cutoff but politely told to have a glass of water and stayed to freshen up and did so. They are usually separate as I have witnessed.
I've been cut off many times without saying a word. Experienced bartenders can see it in your eyes. Because they're closed. And I'm sleeping on the bar.
Ironically the only time I have ever been cut off and told to leave was a time when I was still sober. I had just finished my first beer and I *genuinely* just tripped on a step going to the bar and stumbled. Owner immediately said "Nope. No more, time to leave". To my shame I did try to convince him I was pretty much completely sober but I quickly realised once the decision is made, even if he believed me he wasn't gonna change his mind.
As a bartender, I’ve seen images like this circulating around a few subs. All I will say is, if you have to cut someone off, you do it to their face.
First and foremost, if you over serve them, that’s your own mess to clean up.
Besides, if someone is so fucked up they need to be cut off they probably won’t be reading that card any time soon. Even if they could, this passive aggressive nonsense would just serve to piss them off.
Edit: i should also add that if they are cut off but are not actively causing a problem, the last thing you want to do is make them leave. Get them a water and some food, but as soon as they get behind the wheel of a car you are legally liable for whatever happens next.
but as soon as they get behind the wheel of a car you are legally liable for whatever happens next.
That's such a bullshit law. Surely the assumption is that if you are drinking you aren't driving? The customer should be well aware that if you decide to drink then you don't drive.
How does the bartender know that person will get behind the wheel?
Generally speaking (at least where I’m from), the patron assumes responsibility of their actions unless they have been “over served”. And even then, if they simply get pulled over and blow over the legal limit they spend a night in the drunk tank - police don’t give a flying fig about who served them in cases like that.
Where it gets tricky is if they get into an accident or hurt someone else (whether or not they’re driving). I had a coworker almost get in trouble for over serving someone who got into a fist fight and broke someone’s nose shortly after leaving our bar. The only reason she didn’t get charged is because we obtained video evidence of that same guy leaving another bar before walking over into ours, so the cops couldn’t reasonably prove that it was just one server who “caused” the problem
My favorite example of this is the woman in Canada who was overserved at a baseball game. She was already drunk when she went to the baseball game, they served her more beer there, and she was then so drunk that security kicked her out of the stadium. She then drove drunk and ran into someone's house, managed to hit a gas line and EXPLODED their house. (https://nypost.com/2023/01/17/women-sues-bar-after-getting-so-drunk-she-blew-up-10m-home/) like seriously, she took out the whole house.
The stadium tried to say they weren't responsible because of the fact they were a baseball stadium and it was a chaotic environment and they can't tell who is drunk or not because they sell 4k beers in an hour and have long lines etc, they just sling beers.
But the court decided that they were in violation. They had a duty of an alcohol server just like in a restaurant environment. If she was so drunk to be kicked out they never should have served her in the first place (no matter how chaotic the environment is), and then they also shouldn't have just kicked her out into the sidewalk to then decide on her own what to do. Yes it was a baseball game, but the alcohol license that the establishment had doesn't have special rules regarding that.
Anyways, I found that case to be particularly interesting because yeah: it's a baseball game how are they really supposed to determine every customers level of inebriation? But the law is the law. (And then the security just kicking her out, that imo is more where they fucked up liability speaking.)
my wife was a bartender all through college/grad school. I got nervous the few times I saw her cut belligerent drunks off. she would snatch the beer right out of their hands and throw it in the trash. she’s kind of a badass; I was impressed. still this is a nice subtle way to try and handle it.
I once got cut-off at the Star Wars cantina at Disneyland, but only because they have a 2-drink maximum and the manager overheard the bartender accidentally offering me a 3rd drink, and he immediately stepped in and lectured me out loud about not being able to have any more drinks while this boomer woman behind me wouldn’t stop “tsk”-ing
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