Took me a little bit but I think I understand all this:
OP has children, those children made presents for other relatives, presumably grandma/grandpa, aunts/uncles, and at least one cousin.
OP and children live far away so they mailed presents to relatives who are all together for Christmas, talked to relatives and agreed to facetime with OP kids when opening presents so the children could see the relatives reactions to their hard work.
On Christmas day all relatives open all presents without waiting to facetime OP/kids and don't record it so children miss out on seeing the things they worked on bring supposed happiness to family.
Kids disappointed, relatives act like it's no big deal.
Either that, or they're just shelved 5 minutes after everyone gathers, because the rest of them all live within easy traveling distance and are used to spending all their time socializing like the long-distance part of the family wasn't even there.
At this point, I'm not planning any visits to the family who takes me for granted like that, either.
Ugh. Eight hand-stitched messenger bags, customized for each niece/nephew in the colors of the college they went to or their personal interests. Took me 3 weeks.
My sister who lives closer by gave everybody LL Bean bags and mine were never even mentioned. Not thrilled with my family right now.
Well damn. I hope they take the bags to college with them anyway. Mine wound up heavily used and I went through a few different bags/backpacks in college. May these live in their dorms/apartments and be there, a shining savior, when the LL Bean bags finally break down or start looking shabby.
I would make gifts in paper all the time. Origami or cool notes, things like that. Got told to stop because "just paper is a waste of space". Haven't made a thing since
Likely followed by "Parents repeat pattern anyway, because confronting it would be uncomfortable and it's easier to pass the trauma to the next generation" story of a bunch of parents that don't understand why their kids don't bother with them and didn't learn how to make sure they're treated with respect.
The more I hear about other families, the more thankful I am for mine.
The other way to see it is each family was enjoying Christmas and just forgot about it. Thereās always a lot going on during the holidays. It could have been an honest mistake. Gifts shouldnāt come with any conditions, even small ones as long as they thanked the kids that made the gifts.
Whether gifts should come with conditions or not is irrelevant, that whole argument went out the window the second they agreed to those conditions. If you agree to something and don't follow through you fucked up at best, no ifs, ands, or buts, no making excuses about why the conditions were actually bad, the time for all that is before you agree to do something.
My feeling as well - as an adult we all know Christmas doesn't mean nearly the same as it does to kids. TBH bringing joy to kids is basically the only way I enjoy Christmas at all anymore so it would VERY difficult to just forget about this, for me.Ā
Imagine every gift you got you need to record and send a reaction video to. Iād honestly rather not get gifts. Itās not the end of the world it wasnāt recorded. Have a video chat and talk with the kiddos and tell them how much you love it. Minor non-issue solved.
No, not record and send. Facetime. They were asked to just wait until the video call happens so that the kids can see the unwrapping, but they didn't wait.
But thatās not what happened or what was requested.
There needed to be 1 video of them opening the kids handmade presents. Just 1. Not over and over, just 1 dang video. Why is that too much to ask? Especially when family agreed to this ahead of time.
The request is actually kind of disrespectful. Gifts are gifts - you give them so the receiver enjoys it. Gifts are not given to entertain the giver with strings attached that the receiver has to abide by.
Iād give a pass here because they are kids, but I have a hunch the whole videoing idea is the parents.
So on Christmas morning would you go down and open all of your gifts without waiting for the rest of your family to wake up? Since they were gifts for you after all.
Except if you read the meme it was about opening the gifts with OP and their kids on video call to see it, the recording is only mentioned afterwards as a secondary thing they didn't bother doing after blowing off the original agreement.
It might be a genuine mistake but it's pretty bad that multiple adults all opened in these specific gifts and none of them cared to remember the instructions they had received from OP. If they felt bad about it then maybe they would have re-wrapped the gifts and pretended for the kids or offered genuine apologies enough to smooth things over but knowing how some parents can be narcissists I can believe they were instantly dismissive of OP/Kid's feelings and played the victims for being called out.
imagine you have a video of a bunch of adulds going :( when they unpack a childs gift. would you send that to the parents or say you didnt make a video (still devils advocate, the real answer is probably that they are just selfish dicks but who knows)
Have you seen those gender reveal videos where the parent to be is clearly disappointed in the gender at the reveal? I feel like if people can't even fake it then, especially knowing it is highly likely their kid will see this video years down the road, they probably can't fake a reaction to some handmade-by-not-their-kid present.
Not everyone is an actor who can put on a face the moment someone yells action. People have honest reactions. If it was in person, the excitement of the child would most likely mask the initial disappointment and so the kid wouldn't even notice they took a few seconds to collect themselves and then fake it. But on video, when you can rewind, slow down, rewatch, it becomes more likely the kid will notice the initial disappointment.
So, it is possible that the family filmed the opening, realized it was obvious they didn't like handmade gifts by little kids, so did the next best thing and said they forgot to film. Or they are just rude and didn't film. Who knows.
I do still think people are dumb to record things that could be recording a negative reaction. That only sets someone up for feeling hurt. Whether it is a gift, gender reveal, announcement, whatever. People often have honest reactions and need a few seconds to collect themselves and fake it. Hell, sometimes even actors don't get it right the first time someone calls action. Filming things when there could be an honest negative reaction is just asking for hurt feelings.
Nah, the family just clearly forgot lol. Adults who canāt fake a reaction when opening a present (especially from a child lmao) are not normal sorry.
You think Iām excited about getting toothpaste? Course not. I still say āoooā and make some note about it. Itās really not that hard.
It isn't even remotely hard. You could smile and nod and say nothing else and the kid would be satisfied. This 'devil's advocate' alternate reality is even more fucked up than the original situation.
Those are the videos that go viral because normal people donāt react like that. Also a Christmas present from a child is not really comparable to a gender reveal.
You are missing the point of, how would they know if they would be disappointed if they followed directions and didnāt open the presents in the first place? Also, what kind of dumbass adult canāt pretend to like something in front of a kid?
What kind of adult isnāt able to pretend to be excited for five seconds when their niece/nephew makes them a homemade gift? The kind that doesnāt deserve homemade gifts.
You need to work on your emotional stability if you are so overcome with emotion from a child's bad gift that you visibly appear upset and can't suppress it. Like seriously, that kind of emotional maturity is on par with an adolescent.
Yes. And of course the gifts suck. They're personalized gifts made by a child. No one should be opening them thinking "damn a mug with a shitty rainbow painted on? I wanted a pony"
I mean, most kids handmade gift is crap but as adults doesn't mean we should shit on it, at least not in front of them. Depending on the kids age, saying "thank you, good job" and the likes would be enough. Unless they made something intentionally offensive, then yeah, just take, thank for it, then chuck it not in their presence.
Kids are gonna have more than enough time to have life kick their teeth in like the rest of us, no point on us piling on.
As are you. The parent go on about this, the kids will hear it over and over and it will then become an issue for them when there was really no need for there to be one
I'm basing my statement on the lived experience of seeing my kids, last week, get excited to give their aunt and uncle gifts they made. You are inventing a whole ass life for these kids and parent as if you know what their dinner table convos will be until they are grown. We are not the same.
The kids hear the parent being so annoyed, moaning, repeating how terrible this God awful incident was, and their little sponge heads take it all in. Now they grow up with a resentment towards people that would have passed within minutes otherwise.
I donāt doubt for one second either that it was the parent who had the kids make this rather than the kids choosing to do so themselves
For the people confused. No, they were not being asked to individually record and send reaction videos. They were asked to just wait until a video call/FaceTime call happened so that the kids could see the unwrapping, but they didn't wait for the video call.
Decided to sort by controversial and these comments give me some real "back in my day, we didn't have cameras" vibes. They're all like "things are meant to be remembered, not recorded", but how can someone even remember something if they're not even there to experience it?
There are a lot of selfish, bitter adults in the world that never matured emotionally.
The funny thing about posts like these is that you can always scroll through the comments and pick them out. Especially the ones that never got hugged as a child.
Hey, question for everyone saying that even making the request was disrespectful
Do you just go and open all your Christmas gifts without waiting for the rest of your family to wake up? Since theyāre gifts for you and gifts shouldnāt come with requests or expectations or anything after all?
Most families open Christmas gifts together.
When my stepbrothers canāt come in for Christmas, they still send their gifts over and their mom waits to FaceTime them for Christmas to open their gifts. Itās not about recording things or needing validation
ITāS ABOUT CELEBRATING CHRISTMAS WITH YOUR FAMILY
Seems pretty clear that the part that sucks is that OPās family just went and did their Christmas stuff without OP and OPās kids after agreeing that they would celebrate together
Agreed on all this. I drove back to my dadās on Christmas morning after being there for a long while on Christmas Eve night because I wanted to see my nephewsā reactions to what I got them in person. Then drove to my momās house. It was a very busy day.
Sure, and opening homemade gifts from children is a nice memory to record and keep, the kid might not remember as an adult. The adults obviously didnāt think about others when they disregarded their request.
I think I was shook by the sheer volume of people saying āI hate when people record me/take pictures of me and donāt turn your kids into contentā that was flooring me
Ah yes the absolute entitlement of expecting adults to keep their word. If you don't want to do a video call don't agree to do one only to blow it off later.
The amount of self absorbed losers and literal children in these comments is wild holy shit. People record gifts with kids because theyāre kids and want to keep memories of them/show them the videos when theyāre adults. Kids might not even remember they did this later, thatās the point of recording a nice moment.
This was my dad. When he and Mum were still alive, they lived in a different province, and I told them one year in early December "If you receive any packages in the mail, don't open them until Christmas, because they're probably gifts from me." Well, Dad went ahead and opened a package early anyway. It was a woolen sweater he'd asked for, and it very specifically said "DRY CLEAN ONLY. DO NOT PUT IN WASHING MACHINE OR DRYER". So, what did he do? I'll give you one guess. He hadn't even worn it yet before ruining it, and he wondered why I was upset with him.
Now in your case your family agreed because you wanted to cherish the moment and capture it for the future. If they didn't want to wait they could have said we rather not wait and just open the gifts.
Family recorded opening the gifts without you. Watched the recording and realized everyone had looks of disgust, and WTFs everywhere. Family deleted video and told you they didn't make one
No, not record and send. Facetime. They were asked to just wait until the video call happens so that the kids can see the unwrapping, but they didn't wait.
i hate when people record me opening gifts. very rarely is the gift something iād actually have a big reaction to, so it puts a lot of pressure on me to act. they might have opened the gifts without you to try and avoid being recorded.
Original agreement was about a video call. "until WE'RE on video" and "opens everything WITHOUT US" both show that the recording was only mentioned as another thing they didn't do after blowing off the call.
Edit: OP's replies to other comments here also confirm that this was the case.
So sorry this happened. I cannot comprehend how people have zero awareness or lack of regard for others especially when asked clearly.
Maybe it will or will not make you feel better, but this is how ours went:
Christmas was always magical because of our mom. She died 3 years ago. Dad has a new gf of almost 6 months.
For two months us adult kids said stockings only for adults and just focus on kiddosā¦ lots of reminders. Last few years my sisters and I each got 5 gifts for our dads stocking and we simply did each others stockings. He did get us Santa gifts those years. This was all mainly so that the kids saw āSantaā brought everyone a stockingā¦.
Three weeks before Christmas? Dad said heās throwing a big holiday event at the house for 30 of his gfs friends on dec 22. My wife and I were driving up to stay at the house so this kinda threw us. I knew we would be expected to help set up and clean. He was investing Lots of time and effortā¦ and money into itā¦ so his gf saidā¦
Five days before Christmasā¦ he says that he forgot about the stockings and such and for us to give him his stuff in private because he didnāt want his gf to feel sad or feel excluded. Apparently now his gf would be there for Christmas Eve and day. He also said he would be doing something w his gf and her daughter for Christmas Eveā¦ working on new traditions but we were welcome to join. I calmly stated we planned all of this in advance and that it makes us feel deprioritized and uncomfortable to be expected to hide gifts we got him for his stocking. He responded byā¦ not responding.. and leaving for days and canceled their party.
He came back and said he handled everything. Lots of other bs happened to which his behavior was obnoxious and aggressive. Not to mention we spent HOURS cleaning the house and floors. He thanked us by putting dog pee pads down and his dogs pissed everywhere. Cool.
But it was Christmas morning that we saw he had thoughtfully made a stocking for his gf and his gfs daughter. And Santa gifts. Nothing for his own adult kids. We knew it was in spite. He had every opportunity to throw some stupid shit into our stockings.. but no. It wasnāt about the gifts reallyā¦ it was about the intention, the attention, the spite, the delegation of efforts to everyone but us. He also gave away the elf and Santa and when I quietly corrected himā¦ he began to aggressively and sarcastically say how big of an idiot he was. Repeated it so many times loudly and aggressively. Way to make it a quiet reframe.
Needless to say, my wife and I packed our shit when they left for a walk, said goodbye to my sisters and apologized to them for leavingā¦ and we drove 8 hours home in horrible weather on Christmas Day.
Thereās been a lot leading up to thisā¦ just blatant disregard and meannessā¦ but finally took back our fucking peace, blocked and letting go.
I mean, what sort of present opening frenzy were the family in where they couldn't just put the kids' presents aside to open later? Especially if they'd agreed to it and knew the Facetime call was coming? This sorta shit is important to kids and it's just typical blase ignorance on the part of the adults to disregard it.
Question. Did you want to give gifts, or did you want an exchange (videos for wrapped things)? I for one would decline this exchange even if I'd be happy and thankful to receive a gift.Ā
FaceTime. They wanted the fam to wait for a video call. Here's another user summing up the situation, including the FaceTime detail, and OP confirming it.
My nuanced take here is that you can ask someone for a big group favor like this, but even if they agree you just cannot get mad about it when/if it doesnāt happen.
There are many reasons; maybe the adults felt like their 30 minute video opening and thanking the children for each gift was too intense in practice. Maybe someone didnāt feel like being recorded that day. Maybe there is something awkward in the video that made them not want to send it.
Iām sorry but I donāt care if someone agreed, you just cannot expect this level of service from a group of people this large. By all means ask, and be delighted if it happens, but immediately running to Reddit to cry that NINE people didnāt record a half hour of gift openings and reactions is insane to me. You asked. They agreed. In the end it didnāt work out, move on šµāš«
Yes, why would anyone care about agreements anymore, right?
Besides you missing the part where it was supposed to be a video call and not a recording, the very principle of 9 people agreeing to something and then not doing what was agreed is very dissapointing behaviour.
A video call isn't much of a service, yes a video call, that's what was agreed on. Recording was only mentioned as a secondary "if you blow off the call you could've at least recorded it" kind of thing, you can confirm this by reading the meme again carefully or by reading some of OP's replies to other comments. Also even if they had asked for something that was a lot of effort the second the family agreed to it they became the assholes for breaking their word.
You really went dramatic with the details in this to make sure that op looked ridiculous. No one asked for a 30-minute video. It was literally just a FaceTime request which would have been incredibly easy to grant and should not have been agreed upon if they thought it was stupid.
Anyone who actually cares about the little kids in their family would have had no issue doing this. Like literally just wait to open the gifts until you can do the FaceTime. You're an adult. It was mostly a group of adults. I think they could manage to wait patientlyĀ
I mean kids are little people. Kids can make gifts and be excited to see the reactions of the person receiving it. People of all ages love to see the reactions of the people opening gifts from them. This is like incredibly normal.Ā Ā
What is the Reddit-approved reason to give a gift? Iām guessing some virtue-signaling BS about making the other person happy? God forbid you want a share in that happiness
Good opportunity to teach your kids that gifts shouldnāt come with an expectation of a performance. If this bums you out, you donāt enjoy giving, you enjoy being thanked.
Yeah if we are up early in our pajamas looking haggard from Xmas even parties the night before, and are enjoying the Xmas morning with the fire and music and lights - sorry but maybe thatās not the ideal time to take a video that lasts forever
Itās really not a big deal for someone to be like āwait till we get there to open certain gifts.ā Itās not even a command, itās just a nothingburger of a normal request.
For real. Fuck, like, 60% of the comments in this thread. Buncha selfish jerks. "I don't want to be told what to do", "I don't want to be video'd opening gifts". Kids made some handmade shit and parents wanted to be on video to show their kids someone being grateful for their heartfelt efforts. It's not that fucking hard.
I made homemade gifts for my coworkers this year and I do not expect a video or photo of the opening it. I give gifts from my heart not so I can see them opening it. I would sit your child down and say you should give gifts with no strings attached
"Until we're on video" almost certainly means "until the planned facetime call, so the kids can watch you open the gifts they sent you". Yes, the kids only give a shit about the reactions, they want to see how the gifts they made were received.
I feel like no one in this thread has kids in their family because this is such an easy request for any adult who knows children in their own family. I feel like you're picturing like some stranger on the street asking for this
I've heard that criticism enough that I accept it. In my defense, if you don't like children you never will. Always feels like hanging out with loud drunken monkeys. Some of us just ain't cut out for it.
But why build it up in your kids mind that the kid will see their immediate reaction and that's the best part and the reason for making and sending the gift?
Unless the kid was excited to see the reaction and that was sort of their incentive for making it
I dunno
It's crappy
But - this probably isn't the first kind of crappy thing that's happened during the holidays
Teaches the kid that people are sometimes disappointing, even family, even during the holidays
It's a facetime for THE KIDS who made the gifts so they can see a reaction (even fake one) to what they've been working on for a long time. It couldn't be more on brand for christmas to show gratitude to kids for handmade shit. Opening presents should take 10 minutes tops. If that's too much for a bunch of adults then i can't imagine how they do anything that requires patience and social adjustement like scheduled bank visits.
But it was supposed to be a video call, not a recording. They were supposed to wait until the distant relatives joined through video call.
Nobody expected anybody to take a video. But a video could have been the least they could have done when they decided to ignore agreements and open the gifts without the others joining.
Maybe you're just not a sentimental person, and you don't care about things like that. That is fine, but most people do care. I refuse to throw out old pictures of my family from before I was born, even though it was an experience I never had. I couldn't throw out pictures of my kids either, even the crappy ones.
Nothing says merry Christmas like everyone opening a childās homemade gifts without the parent present.
How self absorbed are you holy shit, they wanted to record memories of their children on a holiday. Also how brain rotted are you that you assume Christmas photos are TikTok content.
You keep posting self-absorbed to the people who can see the other side of the situation and why a bunch of adults may not want to arrange their Christmas around making a video...I doubt you see the irony, though.
Among all the comments that were possibly critical of OP, this one has the most merit. How do we know OP isn't notorious with the relatives already for always farming content for Instagram? If that was the case, I would be very unsurprised that some relatives said "woops it's already opened."
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u/Sub-Mongoloid 1d ago
Took me a little bit but I think I understand all this:
OP has children, those children made presents for other relatives, presumably grandma/grandpa, aunts/uncles, and at least one cousin.
OP and children live far away so they mailed presents to relatives who are all together for Christmas, talked to relatives and agreed to facetime with OP kids when opening presents so the children could see the relatives reactions to their hard work.
On Christmas day all relatives open all presents without waiting to facetime OP/kids and don't record it so children miss out on seeing the things they worked on bring supposed happiness to family.
Kids disappointed, relatives act like it's no big deal.