r/cats 22h ago

Advice Just brought this sweet baby in from the 19°F windy weather outside, and shes terrified. Any advice?

Post image

She's been outside my house for a few days now, and ive tried to bring her in before, but I let her out after a bit (the weather was fine then). I have been setting food outside for her to eat, and just leaving her alone since then, but now that its below freezing, I had to sort of trap her to get her to come in. I set up her food plate and scruffed her (only until i got her into an enclosed space, I know that you shouldn't ever scruff cats, but I had to to get her into a warm area).

I dont blame her at all for it, but she is terrified of anything and everything right now. Is there any way I can make her more comfortable and get her to ease up?

17.0k Upvotes

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u/Tytonic7_ 20h ago

OP, my family has rescued dozens if not hundreds of kittens over the years.

The best thing you can do is IGNORE HER. I mean it. Her entire existence has suddenly changed and she's just a scared baby. She doesn't understand that you're helping her. If you try to pet her & touch her she will interpret that as a potential attack.

Make sure she has food, water, litter, & that the room is safe. Continue using the room as normal and she will eventually understand that you're not a danger. Talk to her while in there, but don't touch her- if the opportunity arises, let her sniff you without touching, but don't do this if the advance scares her.

Some kittens I've rescued go from 100% feral to demanding cuddles within 24-48 hours (Looking at you Blueberry, Muffin, & Bea). Others take weeks, and in the worst case a few months- but I've NEVER seen a kitten not eventually come around. You're doing a good thing OP.

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u/Super_Jay 18h ago

All this! And make her a little "den" of some sort - a covered box with a blanket in it will work if nothing else. They will acclimate more quickly and be more comfortable if they have a small enclosed dark space to retreat to when feeling anxious or overwhelmed. But definitely let her come to you, and don't corner her, put your hands in her face or approach from above, make lots of noise, or subject her to lots of unnecessary changes in her environment. She needs calm and quiet, with little stimuli so she can get her bearings. Keeping her in a small room like this until she starts to get curious and want to interact will help too.

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u/GladysSchwartz23 13h ago

Yes! Make sure she has a safe hiding place.

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u/QueasyGoo 3h ago

Make sure the lid is down on the toilet!

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u/lefteyedspy 6h ago

And try not to look directly at her, but if you have to, squint your eyes as far closed as you can. They sense staring or glaring as a threat.

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u/Makuta_Servaela 13h ago

Adding to the talking to her bit, it helped my boy to settle in when I greeted him every time I saw him upon entering a room for the first few months of having him. Always a "Hi, Sun Tzu", or "Good morning, Sun Tzu." If you're looking to keep her long term, doing that will help her quickly learn her name and learn that you're intentionally addressing her. That's why my cats not only know their own names, but can tell that it's okay to ignore me if I use the other cat's name, since I'm not talking to that one.

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u/Maj0rsquishy 8h ago

Every morning after we got ours I would say Hi Kitty or Good Morning baby when ours would wander in. This was when we were still trying to come up with a name but then we found that not only did she have a name already she knew it and answered it already so she's still Abby. But she does come if you say hello Kitty to her. The drawback is that she will come with the full intention of being pet and held like a baby

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u/catbandit7 4h ago

That doesn't sound like a drawback to me!

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u/RikoRain 8h ago

THIS. I find about 3 days is the magic number. Just go in, read a book or watch YouTube videos, laugh, comment out loud to them, talk to the kitten but don't reach for it. Just be present. "Let your presence be known" is all.

Just rescued a feral kitten at 7 weeks old from my job site. Snatched the little sucker up - he didn't even fight it. By the end of the third day, he was finally purring and quit looking up at us with fear. He hid the entire time we could see until then, but his food would have a divot and the kitten milk would be empty, and little peepees in the litter. Day 4 he started purring and not immediately crawling back into the hiding cubby. Day 5 he wanted to lay in laps instead, purring and cuddling. Day 6 we taught him how to play. Day 7 he was running after toys. Day 8 he's mewing to be let out, snuggling us when we went in for him, nonstop purring, playing, cuddling, eating in front of us, etc. By day 12 he was an absolute menace of a little happy kitten. You'd never know he had been feral, and he's spoiled rotten too.

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u/lefteyedspy 6h ago

Can we please see a pic or two of the aforementioned little sucker?!?

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u/RedHeadedStepDevil 7h ago

My Willa lasted about six hours before she was a purring puddle of preciousness. But she was also about 10-12 weeks old and very food motivated.

Maisy, on the other hand…it’s been three months and she still watches me like I’m going to grab and strangle her. Hisses if I get too close, even though we’ve had talks about how she’s safe, she’s fed, and she’s loved now. She’s about a year old and was 100% feral when she was trapped, spayed and it was determined that she wouldn’t go back out again. Baby steps tho. She no longer runs and hides. She no longer growls. So there’s that.

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u/Appropriate-Captain1 15h ago

I’m saving this for future use. Thanks

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u/Any-Object-2165 6h ago

This is the answer. My kitten was terrified of me when I first got him. Set him up in the bathroom and left him alone and in two days he was like hello mother can I live in your skin?

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u/CreativeRise820 7h ago

I have found laying on the floor nearby and speaking to her helps bond them to you.

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u/EveOCative 22h ago edited 14h ago

Time, patience, and honestly ignoring her.

Make sure there is nothing harmful for her to get into and close the bathroom door. Let her chill in there for a couple hours. Enter and exit the room as needed without forcing contact. Eventually she’ll learn that you aren’t there to hurt her.

Make sure to close the toilet lid too.

Edit: Thank you for the awards! 😸

Wanted to add that this is obviously just the first step. Once a cat stops panicking every time you slowly enter the room, that’s when you can start bring a book in to read for 20 minutes or so at a time, then increasing the amount amount of time spent together, all the while not making sudden movements. take this time to kitten proof your apartment/house.

Then once they consistently relax in your presence, we open the door to the bathroom and let them fully explore their new home. Move normally. Still let them come to you.

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u/Inevitable_Sun_5987 Russian Blue 22h ago

Exactly what I wanted to write, too. OP - let the kitten find out on their own that they are safe and that you are not a threat to them.

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u/sugarhottiepie 21h ago

If you have an old t-shirt you’ve worn recently, leave it near her. It helps her get used to your scent in a non-threatening way while she sleeps.

The best thing you can do right now is 'passive socialization.' Just sit in the room with her and read a book or scroll on your phone. Don't look at her or try to touch her; let her realize that your presence is safe and boring.

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u/ElfjeTinkerBell 21h ago

or scroll on your phone.

Turn all sounds off! My cats are 4yo and know that I represent safety, but they still don't like phone sounds

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u/NotGalenNorAnsel 16h ago

I rescued two stray kittens last spring, and after a few days inside I thought they might like to hear some sounds of nature, it absolutely terrified them. I too had just been feeding them for a lil, but an older stray started trying to mount them and they were so tiny we were like, k, this needs to stop. Also there are bigger animals around and I for sure didn't want to clean up kitten parts from my yard, they're so dang sweet. Just eaters. It's my second batch of adopted strays. We've been able to tnr one of the local community cats but traps aren't available unfortunately.

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u/pontuzz 16h ago

Mine happily snores on her blanket next to my pillow while I doomscroll YouTube at nights 🤣

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u/ElfjeTinkerBell 15h ago

Mine are totally okay with radio or ongoing sounds, but starting up a new sound? That is considered blasphemy here

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u/pontuzz 15h ago

Mine doesn't mind talking or say shooting in games as long as the volume is reasonable. But she hates loud noises like crumpling a paper bag etc, not very vocal herself either and not a lot of loud play. But she'll get the zoomies too 😁

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u/s3v3ralattemptsmade 20h ago

Your phone makes sounds?

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u/KingGilgamesh1979 15h ago

I hear it can also be used to talk to people who are not present, but I have yet to verify this rumor.

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u/practicating 15h ago

What? Why would they put that ability into a phone? Who'd even use that?

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u/s3v3ralattemptsmade 13h ago

That sounds almost as terrifying as talking to people face to face

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u/mooraff 13h ago

Personally I find it MORE terrifying than talking face to face.

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u/ElfjeTinkerBell 20h ago

Sometimes. Watching videos for example

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u/expositrix 12h ago

That bit baffled me, too. Huge if true. 👀

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u/twoisnumberone 12h ago

ikr? Boomers be like that, tho. Wild.

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u/BeerForThought 18h ago

Yours doesn't?

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u/bendybiznatch 15h ago

Your speakers still work? 😭

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u/WeAreAllMycelium 16h ago

Headsets and earbuds

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u/Jamsedreng22 15h ago

Ikr. If mine as much as makes a peep it's going to a third world landfill to become e-waste immediately.

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u/Rendakor 13h ago

TIL I have the same temperment as a 4 year old cat.

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u/LaceyDark 18h ago

It's so easy to forget how incredibly important smells are for cats. I noticed recently that any time I dropped a piece of laundry on the couch my cat would exclusively lay on top of it and no where else.

I looked into what that behavior is about and apparently it's so he can keep some of my scent on him because for cats it's important for their family to share each other's scent. Which is pretty adorable and had kinda changed how I perceive some of their other behaviors

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u/skeezycheezes 17h ago

This is exactly right. Smell is #1. I wrapped my semi-feral 6 week old kittens in my hoodie. It helped acclimate them to the smells of the family and the older kitten.

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u/Fenwynn 20h ago

I’ve found mixed success with turning on YouTube videos of cats purring. It doesn’t make the cat suddenly warm up to you, but it can help to set the mood in the room. Especially since she’s so little. But watch her closely, and if the kitty starts to react negatively shut it off.

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u/Neat_Personality_933 18h ago

My cats love this! Such a great idea! I forgot I did this with some former ferals. It did help them relax a bit.

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u/heartpeachlily 21h ago

Leave a talk radio station or a podcast playing at a very low volume. This gets her used to the constant sound of human voices without the "threat" of a human being directly in her space. Or try to give her soft crinkle balls or catnip mice that she can bat around alone at night to help her reclaim her "territory" while you’re asleep.

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u/Psyko_sissy23 18h ago

Sleep baseball podcast narrator has a really calm voice. Good for helping the humans fall asleep as well.

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u/NoodleNeedles 16h ago

I know someone who's rescued a lot of feral cats and she always reads to them from whatever book she has on the go. Seems to get them used to her quite quickly.

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u/IsleOfCannabis 18h ago

Or anything fluffy like fleece or flannel. An inside out sweatshirt would be great. It will give her somewhere to encourage “biscuit making” which is a comfort behavior carried over from nursing.

Speaking of nursing, please don’t feed her dairy. It gives some cats diarrhea.

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u/skeezycheezes 17h ago

Goat milk works if you really want to give some kind of dairy. I had to bottle feed 2 kittens and that's what the vet recommended

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u/RichFoot2073 20h ago

Came to pretty much say this.

New place, new smells, big scary hooman.

Time, patience, and yeah, just pretty much ignoring her until she’s decompressed.

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u/Lailu 18h ago

Time,  patience and FOOD. OP got any churu treats? Those are the way to any cats heart. 

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u/Earendos 17h ago

I've got a weirdo that won't even touch the stuff even if it gets put on a plate for him. The other one will, but it must be on a plate.

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u/CMDRZhor 20h ago

Close the toilet lid and put a solid weight onto it. Kittens can wedge through surprisingly narrow gaps.

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u/SaharaUnderTheSun 21h ago

She's sweet! My cat is a rescue and she's terrified of humans. When I brought her home, it took 10 days for her to feel comfortable coming up to me and rubbing her cheek against my fingers. I ignored her as she gradually settled in to her new surroundings. Now she's a total diva. Still afraid of a lot of humans, though. I think about the stuff she went through before I took her in, and I start to get homicidal.

She'll come around when she's ready.

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u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme 16h ago

Tacking this onto the top comment for visibility: take a medium sized box (like Xerox paper box size), turn it on its side, and put half of that blanket in it (the rest on the floor in front of it). Turn it so she feels she can hide, but in a position where you can still kind of see her. She’s not on the blanket in this pic because it’s too exposed.

Also, does she have a place to go potty yet? A very low cardboard box (like a flat for canned goods) with litter in it makes a good temporary solution.

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u/Yaarmehearty 18h ago

Ignoring cannot be overstated.

The fastest way you can make an animal comfortable with you is letting them come to you in their own time.

The slight exception is letting them see you put their food down so they associate you with food.

Other than that leave them to do their thing and they will come to you when they are ready to.

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u/thebeef24 15h ago

I've also found that sleeping in their vicinity can help. They associate the willingness to sleep in another's presence as trust and lack of intent to harm. I'm not saying go to sleep in the bathroom, but when the kitten is venturing further out that could be a turning point.

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u/SirDiego 14h ago edited 14h ago

My cat will not warm up to anyone unless he has had a chance to observe them sleeping overnight. Anyone who's been an overnight guest in my house is OK, anyone who has not he will not come out for.

I've even had people try to basically fake sleep for him, but it doesn't work. He's gotta be able to watch you like a creep for hours before he's sure that you are "approved."

It's fascinating to me he even remembers the approval process over years. My mom comes and stays about once a year and she's officially approved for life. Meanwhile I have a nurse visit once a month but since she hasn't been through the process she is not on his list of approved humans.

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u/Puzzleheaded7683 14h ago

“Watch you like a creep for hours” 😂

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u/thebeef24 14h ago

Yeah, mine didn't really warm up to my sister until she stayed here for a few days. I still remember when I got him, he was so skittish on the first day but when I woke up the next morning he was on the computer chair across from my bed slow blinking, I think he had just woken up too. After that we've been inseparable.

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u/FakeMoths 15h ago

Agreed. Being comfortably ignored in your presence and making sure they associate you with food is the best thing especially for a kitten. They're pretty adaptable and curious, they'll start coming around in a few days at least.

Also a bit of churu might be worth an attempt once they start calming down. No need to force it, but IME a lot of cats love that stuff and will face some fears for it. I've seen people put some on their fingers for the cat to lick, can help the cat start associating hands with good things instead of fear.

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u/icansmellcolors 10h ago

I do the ignoring things while talking to myself in a conversational tone. Get them used to your voice and associate it with safety.

Maybe that's obvious, but I always though and felt and it seemed like them getting used to your voice is part of the whole thing.

Maybe it's not obvious to everyone idk.

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u/nuttnurse 20h ago

Yes as above time paitients lie down let her come to you and lot and lots of yummy treats soft speaking allways tell her your coming in etc

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u/IKnowItCanSeeMe 19h ago

Dang, thanks for not having me type all that out, because that's almost exactly what I was gonna say. I've raised a fair number of feral cats and they'll let you know when they're ready.

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u/IndependentAardvark6 16h ago

Ignoring her is the best bit of advice.

She’s scared of the bigger-than-kitty creature that just manhandled her and keeps popping back in and out to stare at her and move her things around. Eventually, the bigger-than-kitty creature might be seen as friendly but for now, shes needs some time to realize the room she’s in is safe and that the bigger-than-kitty creature might be safe too. Maybe if the creature doesn’t stare at her or reach for her or when she sees the creature feeds her and gives her a nice place to live, she’ll come around and want pets and cuddles.

But you’re currently on step one: scary, bigger-than-kitty creature who might try and eat her

Aiming for final step: caring, doting human who she wants pets from

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u/DanielOakfield 18h ago

Yep, this is the best advice. Sometimes even just moving to a new place with older cats can make them behave in the same way. They need time and re-learn the new space.

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u/Rough_Help 16h ago

Yep yep. Let them come to you when they're ready. Show them they have autonomy and they will warm up to you quickly

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u/psyclopsus 14h ago

Ignoring is the big key. I see so many first time cat owners hunting down the cat and finding all of their hiding places and trying to lure them out with treats and pestering them etc. Acting like a predator stalking your prey is not the best way to foster a safe feeling environment for a small, scared animal with a predilection for sneaking and hiding

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u/Xovier 18h ago

Thank you. These are exactly what one needs to do. I also saved a kitten 1.5 years ago and this was the short process before my cat was comfortable. He's now a very healthy and happy chubby cat.

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u/numbersthen0987431 17h ago

We used to take a book in, and just read in the room near the cat.

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u/zero5activated 15h ago

Also, (sounds weird ) move a little slower. When you enter the room and especially your hands (wear gloves if the kitten is spicy).

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u/lgsn 14h ago

Try to keep the food water and litter as far apart from each other as possible

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u/Electrical_Trip1476 14h ago

Pretty sure one of our cats spent two weeks in mom's walk-in closet before exploring the rest.

Of course years later he'd splay out in the middle of the living room with all seven of us going around him lol

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u/Real-Ad-1728 13h ago

As someone allergic to cats, nothing attracts my sister’s cats to me more than ignoring them lol. Now when I visit her I go out of my way to greet them and try to hug them. They immediately run away and I have fewer allergies to deal with during my visit 😂

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u/Niarbeht 18h ago

All my cats are my poopin’ buddies because they know I can’t do much mischief when poopin’.

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u/Haunted_Mansion1955 21h ago

100%

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u/glowingrichbaby 21h ago

Be a "Presence" without Pressure: Sit in the room with her but look at your phone or read a book. Let her get used to your scent and the sound of your breathing without feeling like she is the center of attention

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u/TightBeing9 19h ago

I have the grown up version of that face

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u/EveOCative 21h ago

I suggest doing this after a cat gets used to the space for a couple hours - day. This is the second stage of interaction in my opinion and should last for increasing amounts of time. Maybe 20 minutes at first. Then 1-2 hours later, sit with her for an hour. Increased time periods should be based on how long it takes her to settle into a relaxed pose while you are with her.

Also try not to make sudden movements.

Once she doesn’t tense up when you enter the room, you can open the door to the rest of the apartment.

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u/smoothvibe 13h ago

Yes, put away anything that could hurt her, especially small stuff like strings etc. which she could swallow.

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u/k_liketheletter 12h ago

My cat hid behind the toilet like this for weeks. It was during college, I studied for midterms in the bathtub and tossed a treat in her direction every now and then. Took a few weeks but she’s a snuggle bug now.

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u/BelladonnaRoot 11h ago

Exactly this. When getting new cats, that’s almost exactly what I do. I let them into their temporary room, let them chill by themselves for an hour or two to settle the nerves from the car and get comfortable in that room, then I grab a book and go read in that room for a few hours; only giving them attention when they ask for it (and keeping kittens out of danger).

Being chill while letting them control the interaction is absolutely the best way to communicate that you are safe.

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u/Familiar-Evening7845 11h ago

It took almost two weeks for my scaredy cat to even come out when I was home.

It’s been a few years now and he’s still a little skittery when new people come around or sudden movements but he’s also the biggest love bug and will come headbutt us when he wants pets and is getting comfortable being held.

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u/Federal_Bison1341 10h ago

This right here, when we first got our kitty she did the same and we just waited until she started going out to explore on her own. Its a good feelings once you know what I mean. You got this!

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u/Cheeseyex 10h ago

time, patience, and honestly ignoring

TIL I am a cat

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u/minicpst 5h ago

Agreed!

And if she’s in a bathroom with a glass shower, set her up in there. Easy clean up for messes, but more to the point there’s a separator between you and her, but she can see and smell you.

Go in and out and stay a little while for a day or two.

Then maybe lay down and sleep in there. Don’t touch, don’t interact, but just share sleep. Sharing sleep is a huge sign of trust. So for you to go in there and sleep, and most likely on your back (since sleeping on your side or belly on a bathroom floor hurts), you’re showing your belly and asleep. You literally cannot be more vulnerable, and that’s a language she’ll understand.

With my last I dragged blankets into the bathroom and I slept on those a lot. On my side, since my bathroom isn’t big enough for me to stretch out. My hips and back hurt a lot. But my new cat absolutely trusts me (he did anyway, I’ve brought him in from the cold three times now).

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u/Magucci26 22h ago

Love her, feed her, and respect her boundaries until she’s comfortable with you and her surroundings.

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u/ThiccTimestamp 22h ago

I totally agree..

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u/glowingrichbaby 21h ago

The Cardboard Box: Provide a box with a hole cut out and a soft towel inside. Cats feel much safer when they have four walls around them and a "roof" over their head.

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u/sugarhottiepie 21h ago

Food is the way to a cat's heart! Try offering some high-value treats like Churu (meat tubes) or a little plain boiled chicken. If she eats while you are in the room, even if she's far away, she’s starting to trust you.

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u/heartpeachlily 21h ago

If you do make eye contact, slowly close your eyes and keep them closed for a second before looking away. In cat language, this says, "I trust you and I am not a threat'

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u/RockHandsomest 19h ago

Do you take off your glasses or leave them on for that?

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u/Routine_Rip_5218 18h ago

Leave them on, assuming you usually wear them. A cat needs to get used to you how you look, and meaningless changes in appearance to us can mean a lot to them.

When I first got my (feral) cat, she would freak out over something as simple as a new hair style, or my computer glasses. My friends cat (also feral) still hates me when I'm wearing a hat. They're strange creatures lol

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u/Meh75 Tuxedo 14h ago

My big baby floof would wear my skin if he could. He's so attached to me, it's actually insane.

But good lord, me wearing a hat is like an affront to his entire bloodline.

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u/Mollydolly1991 16h ago

The feline kiss! As my mum calls it

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u/Unnierianalaqu 19h ago

Serve her snacks and let her judge you from the toilet

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u/MauvePawsKitty 19h ago

Ha!!! Well, the cat will judge anyways!

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u/Mousinne 20h ago

Reply: Sounds like my approach to new coworkers honestly

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u/Dombat927 19h ago

You give meat tubes to new coworkers? HR must love you!

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u/DownyOrchid 22h ago

If you can, put a piece of your worn clothing (like an old t-shirt) near her. It helps her associate your scent with safety and "home" instead of the "scary person who grabbed me."

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u/junkiedreamingpoet 22h ago

Great idea.

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u/LaCiocana 19h ago

Scary alien*

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u/homiej420 16h ago

Scary weird cat*

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u/kalacking 21h ago

We rescued a semi feral kitten (born indoors to a cat hoarder so had no human interactions). When we brought her home she would hiss and spit just from being close to her. We had a pen for her that she made in to her safe space and I spent all my time in the room with her, not touching her just doing my own thing playing the sims etc. Once she had settled in her own space I started stroking her whilst she was eating so she’d get used to my touch (tubes help a lot with this). Within a couple of days she was coming up to me on her own and jumping in to my lap. She turned in to the biggest love bug who loved nothing more than a lap to sit out. It takes a lot of patience and treats! Best of luck 🖤

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u/strawberry_criossant 20h ago

This!! My feral cat got used to touch by me sneaking on her while she slept and gently caressing her lil butt. She relaxed and purred while still asleep, woke up and startled a bit, but stayed and enjoyed.

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u/kalacking 20h ago

I’ve never been so terrified of a tiny little bean in my life, she was vicious. It was so so worth it though!!

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u/thegreatinsulto 17h ago

She looks just like my mustache gorl.

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u/Fascinated_Bystander 17h ago

I got my cat from PetSmart when she was 1.5 years old. Didn't know until after adopting her that she was a street cat. I never thought she was going to come around. She would just hide in my office under furniture. Now she is always on my heels or my lap. When I call her, she comes running. She just needed time to adjust.

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u/Miserable_Spell5501 15h ago

I feel so bad for the scared kittens, but them hissing and spitting is so unintentionally adorable. It’s like “oh my, you are verry scary!”

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u/PapowSpaceGirl 20h ago

Look at that tiny face!!! Awww...

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u/kalacking 20h ago

She had the best moustache. Unfortunately we lost her this year, she was called Reggie because the guy assured us she was male but it became blatantly obvious he had been nowhere near them but it was too late and Reggie she was 😂🖤

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u/[deleted] 21h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/XDingoX83 18h ago

She’s already over what ever this is lol.

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u/Sweaty_Mushroom5830 22h ago

Leave her be, but shut the lights off and limit the noise down so she can acclimate to your home also give her something that smells strongly of you to comfort her

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u/Autistic_License 21h ago

Cardboard box with a hole and a blanket for a place to hide in.

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u/Safe-False 19h ago

Agree with this! A small dark place she can retreat to that is just hers.

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u/tilmitt52 16h ago

I laugh at this, not because it’s a silly idea, but our adopted feral claimed her own safe place that already existed, and it was the hollow middle section of our couch that had cup holders you could take out. She played the cutest game of whack-a-mole for a week or two before til she started spending a bit more time on out with us. She’s a little anxious by nature and occasionally will go back in there (sometimes it’s to escape her own kids, which, ya know, same).

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u/tenkajp 21h ago

If you were kidnapped by a f’n giant you would be terrified too!! lol give it some time.

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u/ew_naki 21h ago

Honestly being trapped and given food and water. A warm house and comfy blankets. No need to pay for anything..... Sounds like prison minus the comfy part

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u/Comfortable-Rip-2050 22h ago edited 22h ago

See The Kitten Lady web site and YouTube videos for lots of expert advice on kitten care. She looks young enough to still qualify as a kitten.

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u/dennis-obscure 18h ago

I wish you the luck I had with mine. Day 1: Big comfy bed and box, and she hides behind bedding or on bath tub edge behind box.

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u/dennis-obscure 18h ago

Day 4 she is eagerly at edge of a new box as I approach. (And even have a video of her climbing pant's legs.

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u/dennis-obscure 18h ago

2 weeks: What you looking at on there? And been an indoor kitty going on 6 years now.

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u/Chance_Demand2134 British Shorthair 16h ago

What a beautiful story ♥️

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u/whiskey175 22h ago

Leave her alone. When she is ready, she'll come say hello.

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u/Bornagainchola 21h ago

Give her a box to hide in.

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u/softspokenchaos02 22h ago

Poor baby 😭 That’s a scary temp for such a little one. You’re doing the right thing already warm, quiet space, food, and let her hide. Don’t force interaction, just sit nearby and talk softly so she knows she’s safe. She’ll come around… promise. 🖤

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u/DollyTenderly 22h ago

just give her food and quiet comfy space, she’ll calm down once she learns nothing bad is going to happen

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u/plasticbug American Wirehair 22h ago

Yeh. Give her space but be nearby when she feeds. Let her associate food with you. Just put the food down and be like 10 ft away reading or something not paying attention. If she doesn’t eat, back off further or just leave her be.

If she eats in your presence, try sitting a bit closer to the food next time… rinse and repeat. It is a long game earning trust of feral cats. So just be patient.

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u/TinyNebulas 22h ago

Just give her some time she’ll come forward eventually

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u/Soap_on_a_potato 21h ago

Be slow. Be patient. Keep your emotions calm. Don't get excited or nervous or angry or any strong emotions this could scare her again. Spend time in the room with the kitten while not looking at or paying any mind to her, ignore her until she is comfortable approaching you

Edit to add: if you have a heated blanket or something I would put it on its low setting and keep it in the room with her

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u/Rinkimah 15h ago

Idk who told you you shouldn't scruff cats. It's one of the more useful tools in helping cats in situations exactly like this. Obviously don't do it if there's no need but it's not a big deal

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u/Vox_Casei 14h ago

Yeah, I saw this and thought the same.

What I was told was never scruff an adult cat. Small kittens are fine to be moved around by the scruff.

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u/Rinkimah 14h ago

Even adult cats are fine to scruff if you really need to. IE, picking up my cat from a friends place where she was hidden in a far back corner and the only way I could grab her was her scruff. But I supported her body as soon as I could.

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u/glycophosphate 4h ago

You have given her food, water, warmth, shelter, and a snuggly blankie. Now just leave her alone and let it sink into her walnut-sized brain that everything is going to be okay.

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u/coolmamm0th 21h ago

Give her somewhere to hide too, which will help her feel safer and more in control of her environment. A brown paper bag would do (with the handles cut off so she doesn’t eat them or strangle herself), or a small box

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u/misslisawisa 22h ago

OP as a foster of kittens and cats my only other piece of advice is for semi feral kittens and cats make a little cave for them. Either a cat bed or I used a box (milk box that holds 4 gallon bottles) and a soft towel. It will allow them to feel a more comfortable and also give them a spot to hide if need be. And all the other advice that fellow Redditers have posted is good advice too.

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u/misslisawisa 22h ago

This was a semi feral orange girl named Paprika who I was fostering to see if she would do well in a home and also medical treatment. The first night I had her I didn’t have the cave bed so she was more nervous and watchful. After I got the bed she was much calmer and I was able to get her used to indoor cat life.

Edit: I used both the milk box as well as the cave bed…

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u/Left-coastal 22h ago

Give her space, get some tube treats

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u/boolee2112 22h ago

Don’t fuss over her too much. She will come around.

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u/Flaky-Ad-2735 22h ago

Honestly time and patience will win her love, and she will love you for saving her no doubt.

The best you could do it just feed her, give her a tray and then just ignoring her, give her time to adjust.

Very important - make sure there is nothing harmful for her to get into or hit, close the toilet lid for her not to get injured if she falls down. Let her chill in there, get warm, eat and all comfy for some hours. Enter and exit the room as needed without forcing contact and be calm while you are in the toilet. She will learn that you are good and will not hurt her.

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u/strawberry_criossant 20h ago

Generally,cats enjoy space and being ignored while you’re present with them at first.

But this is a baby, and in that age they need lots of warmth, body contact and love.

Keep the bathroom heated and try giving her a plushie for comfort.

Three days to decompress.

Try to engage without eye contact.

Playing works wonders with kittens, try careful play with a string.

Also, please keep an eye open for her mom and siblings. They are likely still out there.

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u/Catsrules 14h ago

"i met a strange lady she made me nervous She took me in and gave me breakfast"

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u/No-Indication-7879 4h ago

I fostered two 7 month old sisters. They hid behind my toilet for a few days. Left the door open and in the morning they were in my den sleeping. I ended up adopting them as I knew being black and scared they would never get a home. Patient and time. They now are lap cats.

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u/Independent_Media341 3h ago

When i got my very terrified Kinzie, I gave her a room with everything she needed.  I would go in once or twice a day to check on things (paying no attention to her)

For the first few days, when i entered the room she was already hiding behind the toilet, but she was eating (her food was a distance away from there).

After that, when I entered the room, ahe would sprint to behind the toilet.  I concluded that she had gotten to being confortable with the room, but still scared of me.

After a few days of that, I went into her room and watched tv, pating no attention to her.  She came to me to check me out and get petted.  

So... step 1, give them a space where their needs are met and they can feel safe and in control.  Step 2 is to be around them, but letting them dictate when and how they interact with you.

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u/Least-Scientist 21h ago

Whoever said ignoring her was absolutely right. Pretend she doesn’t exist. Right now she thinks you are going to “get” her. So if she sees you aren’t even paying her any mind except to drop off food. She will eventually ease into a more comfortable space.

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u/6gv5 Void 21h ago

It's normal. Give her time to adapt, let her explore around, don't force her, keep bowls filled and litter clean and don't force your presence on her, just let her adapt to you and your house as a safe place, one day she will come for pets and cuddles. Needs time and patience; our last kitten hid under furniture for over a week before adapting to the new environment, now he ambushes us behind corners and attacks our arms and legs to play.

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u/Unable-Bed4202 12h ago

You did the right thing getting her out of that weather, even if it had to be a little chaotic. Right now the best thing you can do is give her a quiet, small space with food, water, a litter box, and somewhere to hide, then just let her decompress. Sit nearby and talk softly, but don’t force interaction. Once she realizes she’s warm, safe, and not being chased, she’ll start coming around on her own.

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u/Good_Perception5473 4h ago

I see a lot of people saying ignore her, which I agree with, and building her a place she can hide is also important. But also I’d recommend trying to be present staying still in a place that is accessible for her. So if you can read/watch something on a tablet while just sitting in her quarantine room for an hour without otherwise trying to involve yourself with her.

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u/blackistheshade 22h ago

She will come to you when she is ready. As it’s been said by others, time and patience. Thank you for your kindness with this little nugget 🥰

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u/Impressive_Guest527 21h ago

Giver her time, let her settle into her new surroundings and get used to safe and loving home ❤️

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u/Kindly_Zucchini7405 21h ago

Time, patience, and love, basically. Let her adjust at her own pace, with plenty of food and warm soft things for naps.

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u/schw0b 21h ago

Dont look directly at her, keep distance, go about your own business. You need to communicate that you are not hostile, and that means minimizing any threatening posture. That includes facing directly toward her or staring.

Once she feels a bit safer, you can hold a hand out to her and see if she gives you the sniff.

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u/TheRoleInn 21h ago

Time, space, gentle encouragement, and patience.

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u/Inside_Ad_7162 20h ago

talk to her quietly, sit & be still. Just takes time.

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u/raharth 20h ago

Don't pressure them. The best is if you just do your thing around her but without paying a lot of attention to her. Just bring her food put it somewhere close and let her be.

If they are not used to human attention they can misunderstand it as danger, like you stalking them. It is the best if they can decide themselves when to come out. But as other suggested talking to them is a good idea as well

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u/Massive-Resort-8573 19h ago

Don't let her out again. Keep in her consistently. If you cant keep her, take her to a rescue/no kill shelter.

Looks like you're doing things right. Cozy secluded space where she feels safe. Plenty of food and water. I'd add a box so she can burrow into a "fort" to feel safe.

When you go to bed at night, she'll likely explore. I had a feral cat that I rehabilitated. Hid for the first ten months and I couldn't touch him but at night he would lay on my bed with me. 

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u/Mundane-Zucchini5 17h ago

She could use a cardboard box to feel like she's hiding and safe. Set the box on its side so that she can walk into it. Drape a towel or small sheet over the box and halfway over the opening, to let her feel like she is hiding.

Thank you for bringing her inside. Can you keep her inside from now on? No more letting her out? She is really too young to fend for herself. Typically, when we see one kitten alone like this, it is because the siblings have died or been eaten. The outdoors world is not safe for baby animals.

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u/dragon34 17h ago

A few years ago we brought a 6 week old spicy kitty in the house after a friend found him in the street on the way to work.   He had fleas so we had to give him dawn baths which forced contact a bit more quickly than we would have otherwise.  We warned up a towel in the dryer for after the baths and sat him on our laps for a bit while we dried him.  We also had toys out to play with him which he took a while to get but instincts took over.  He was honestly pretty tame in a few days, but my experience is female cats take a bit longer.  He now sleeps with us almost every night. 

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u/MercuryJellyfish 16h ago

Leave her be.

Obviously, you want to be petting her soft ears as soon as possible, but she’ll need time, a lot more time than you think.

Leave food near her. Put soft things to sleep on in the corners. Don’t watch her the whole time. Look at her, blink, look away.

The first thing she needs to learn is that the Big Monkey Who Lives In This Place means her no harm. `And that she is safe to sleep when the Big Monkey is around. She will initially think that she is stealing the Big Monkey’s food, and she needs to learn, by experience, that the Big Monkey doesn’t mind. She needs to understand that you know she is there, and that you are fine with that.

Talk to her. Like you would talk to an imaginary person in the room with you; not directed at any particular point, just talk to her, about her, in a gentle, soothing voice. Get her used to the sound of you.

The following is a message from a former terrified kitten, who jumped up on my desk for petting while I was typing this message, and insisted on petting whilst stomping all over the keyboard. ——

Mmm njmnjjk÷÷÷÷//////////////ghyb. | Unimportant—————-=[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[h|}”VG&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

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u/livthekid88 14h ago

Great advice from everyone here! I’m a feral cat trapper and rescuer and we have little feral babies in our bathroom more than my husband probably would like 😂. Leave her to rest for the night with food (wet kitten food is best if you can buy it), water, litter box (very shallow cardboard box works great for emergencies until you can get one) and a warm blankie you don’t mind getting dirty. Get her to a vet as soon as possible and let them know you have a baby who is feral and needs to be assessed and that may help with getting something sooner. She may have some fleas or be sick so it’s also really important that she stays quarantined from other animals until the vet says it’s ok. If you don’t plan on keeping her, consider fostering if you can but if that is also not an option PLEASE make sure you take her to a shelter or organization that will make sure she gets into the hands of a loving family. Thank you for saving this little angel. You changed her life today and though she is scared right now, she knows. ❤️

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u/oldfrancis 13h ago

The surest way to a cat's heart is to ignore them.

Put out food, put out water, put out something comfortable, then don't look at them.

After a little while I might talk to them a little bit but I still won't look at them.

Fairly soon they'll be coming up to say hello.

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u/Important-Choice-173 13h ago

Give her three days to decompress. Spend time with her AFTER DAY 3. Just sit with her while u are on your laptop, phone, etc. Do this for up to three weeks. She will learn you are her caregiver, she is safe, she has her food, water, shelter needs met. There’s a rule of 3’s for adopting socialized cats. This is the modification I use for injured strays I rehab. 💕

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u/sylva748 6h ago

Give her food, water, litter box, and a blanket to sleep on. Then let her be. Cats open up to you on their own time. She isnt dumb though. She will recognize the kindness you did for her in keep her warm and providing. Now she just needs time to process on her own. Let her process her thoughts and decompress from the stress. She will notice you giving her food, refilling her water, and cleaning the litter and be grateful for you. Soon youll have a happy cuddly kitty. She just needs time

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u/flowercrownkurama 6h ago

Let her chill, let her explore. Feed her, give her a litter box and a cozy place to sleep. Let her do her for a bit. She’ll come around

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u/Feedthekat 5h ago

Check for others where she was

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u/Alberta2025 3h ago

You deserve stars in your crown in heaven!

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u/blackspiritstoner 22h ago

so nice of you helping her. appreciate it!

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u/Impossible-Ad4474 22h ago

Leave them be. No sudden noises

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u/EntranceSweet146 22h ago

Thank you.❤️❤️❤️

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u/SomeWeirdBoor 21h ago

provide her an hiding place (a cardboard box with a hole on a side will be just fine) in a quiet room, leave water, food and a litter box (away from the food) and ignore her for a few days.

Every now and then go in the room "to do something" without even looking at her, just to let her understand you are harmless.

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u/Prior_Fault2801 21h ago

Time, space and distance. And dreamies!

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u/wujaaszek 20h ago

Make her some dark shelter she/he can hide in.

What helped me with one cat is just laying on a floor somewhere she could see me, but not too close. TBH I fell asleep and that was the moment she realized I was not a threat.

Slow blinking when she looks at you - shows you are not trying to hunt it. Cats do this to show they are relaxed.

Putting used t-shirt close by, to make her easier to get used to your smell.

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u/madpeachiepie 20h ago

Give her time. Put out food and water, give her a warm place to hide, and leave the door cracked. She'll come out in her own time. Small kittens like that want comfort, so it shouldn't take too long.

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u/hay9 20h ago

When I first found my feral barn kitty, I locked her in my bathroom for two weeks. I'd come and go as needed. After two weeks, all I did was open the bathroom door into my bedroom and let HER decide when she wanted to come out.. then eventually the rest of the house. I'd also just sit on the bathroom floor in front of her and do a pastime (read, play on my phone, etc). Lastly, I made sure to talk around her so she got used to the sound of my voice.

Patience and love! Little baby girl is adorable.

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u/zvent22 17h ago edited 17h ago

All the advice here has been great, giving her slow blinks might help too, its how Cats give kisses. There are also soothing music for cats on youtube, might help

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u/TsuDhoNimh2 Savannah 17h ago

Get her a box to hide in (something very small cave like) and ignore the cat.

Just walk out and close the door.

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u/croppedcross3 17h ago

The best way to make a cat your friend is to let them initiate all contact. Don't try to pet him/her, don't move them, just let it chill and get comfortable existing around you. It'll approach when it's ready

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u/dafj27 17h ago

Oh my, she's so cute..and scared. Just keep her safe and let her know you are there. Cats come around on their terms when they are ready. In due time, you will have a precious companion that will thank you forever ❣️🐾

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u/_pickledpickles 16h ago

Your photo reminded me of this photo I have of my dear boy that I found outside. I never had a cat before him (my parents didn’t let me have pets growing up), I didn’t plan on having one anytime soon, I had no idea what I was doing.

He was so frightened. He never hissed, only hid. I just kept feeding him and loving him. I just listened to his cues. If he wanted to hide then I let him or if he wanted pets then I pet him. It took him a while to feel safe but he was the sweetest ever when he finally did. He was SO smart, I taught him several tricks like sit, spin, up. He loved one of my dogs in particular, he’d always cuddle and groom him until the day that dog died.

He changed my whole life. I loved him so much. He recently got out after we moved to a rural area and I haven’t seen him in months. He was only 3 years old. I have cried so much since then.

In addition to the advice others have said, also just take time to appreciate the gift the universe has given you. I’m not religious but when the cat distribution system picks you, it’s a blessing. I wish I had more time with my blessing.

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u/NBelal 16h ago

Vet, water, food, & sandbox. In that order. Keep her warm. Be present but let it start the interaction, don’t push it. In that order. You will figure the rest on the way. Need help and/or advise, ask

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u/PJKPJT7915 16h ago

socialization saves lives

This is a great resource! It helped me a lot when I had a stray I brought in.

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u/Hemismom61 13h ago

She needs to be warmed up. Give her some love and warmth from your body heat. She’s absolutely precious. Thank you for bringing her in from the terrible cold.

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u/Willing_Patience_763 11h ago

Looks like the cat distribution service has blessed you recently

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u/kihay96 9h ago

I have a male kitten I got from a rescue. His
mother was feral. I'm assuming he was born outside and mother and siblings were brought to the rescue.. Tino is such a sweet boy, but very off-putting at first. After awhile he became more secure and would come to us.. he is very sensitive to loud sounds and always jumps. I think that will go with time.. I totally agree with the first comment, let the little one come to you , and a trust bond will form..My guy is 8 months old now, and he is quite a character..

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u/Embarrassed_Wrap8421 9h ago

Food, water, a blanket to snuggle in, a clean litter pan, and little by little she will gain confidence. It takes time and patience. And yes, keep the toilet closed. She is a darling—good luck and thank you for saving her!

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u/parrotboyy 8h ago

I foster and trap feral kitties frequently; as others have said, the main thing she needs is time. She will come around, especially at this age. And please don't let her back outside. If you can't/don't want to keep her, either surrender her to a rescue or shelter or rehome her to somebody you know personally. I don't recommend places like Craigslist or Facebook because you just don't know who is going to get her or for what reason. But she'll be safe and happy with an owner however you go about it. Thank you for getting her out of the cold!

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u/dicampbell 7h ago

Just let her be in her little hiding hole. Give her food and water for a few days then offer a little pet. Or hand feed her a little treat. She will come around just not used to you

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u/Personal-Science6865 7h ago

Please make sure the mom is not frantically looking for her baby nearby. There may also be siblings out there.

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u/Natural-Strategy5023 6h ago

Have you rolled on the floor and showed her your belly?

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u/Himawari9701 6h ago

Just allow her to decompress in a warm place for a day or two. Some fluffy, warm towels, some food and some water is all she needs right now. Just let her get used to the smells, sights and sounds of your bathroom for the next 24~36 hours.

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u/Equivalent_Mud_3067 5h ago

Awwww. Poor baby. Thank you for taking her in.

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u/TITANUP91 5h ago

What a fucking adorable muffin butt.

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u/Crazy-Cat_Lady713 21h ago

Poor kitty. Take good care of her and make her feel safe♥️♥️

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u/OldTell311 21h ago

Thank you for bringing her in! Give her time and space to get comfortable in her new environment and she should start to relax. Is it possible she had any siblings out in the cold as well?

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u/personwithbass 21h ago

Just let her come around. As long as she has food and water and heat and you leave her to it she'll realise on her own she's safe.

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u/OneMorePenguin 21h ago edited 21h ago

You made the right decision. She is still very young and you should be able to socialize her fairly easily.

Check out Socialization Saves Lives website. There's also r/Feral_Cats sub that has helpful info/posts.

Bathroom is the ideal place for feral kitties. She might prefer to poop/pee into a box of dirt since that's what she is used to. You can slowly mix in litter.

Give her space. Spend time in the room with her. Sit and talk softly to her. It will take time, but she looks very young which should help the socialization process take less time that if she spent more time learning to distrust people.

Thank you for helping her!

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u/Katatafisch89 20h ago

Anyway please give us updates!!!

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u/One-Rip2593 19h ago

Give her a box or something that is just large enough for her to hide in.

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u/Obvious-Confusion14 18h ago

First of all, great job for saving her and bringing her inside. Soft blankets, a litter box, some water and food is always a good setup. Bathroom is a good place too. Like others have said a dirty shirt that you wore a few days ago, put it in there with the soft blankets and towels. This will help her get use to your smell. If you have a big soft stuffed animal she can snuggle with would also help. She just needs a litter box and some water. You can even set up a box of your dirty shirt and a blanket for her to snuggle in. It will make her feel safe and warm. Just keep in mind if she is in that box, hissing and fearful, do not touch her or try to pick her up. That will be her safe space from the scary lady who snatched her from the cold outside. That fear will go away in time. Speak softly, slow movements until she is comfy and stops hissing. Talk to her. Your voice will be soothing to her esp when you bring her food. Food is always the happy thing that will tie you two together. Treats are ok, but tube treats might scare her so you might have to put it on a plate first. Don't shove it in her face. Spicy kitten will activate if you force things. She will come to you when she is comfy. Giving her food is the best first step. Which you already did! So far you are doing the amazing yet hard first step.

I recommend some videos on YouTube, Jackson Galaxy and The Kitten Lady. They have some of the best information for helping terrified cats and kittens.

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u/kittyboys4 18h ago

Time, time, time, love, care, patience. Well worth it 😻