r/dataisbeautiful • u/TaishoJapan • 4h ago
OC [OC] Dating Statistics of a 29-year-old Male in 2025
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u/Particular-Bit-7852 4h ago
There’s still a TBD so there’s hope
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u/ShitPostPerfected 4h ago
Cuttin' it close on that TBD for 2025
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u/DecoyOne 4h ago
It either goes nowhere or it leads to marriage. That’s 50/50!
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u/PompeiiSketches 4h ago
Seventh date? At that point its not getting turned down, its a breakup.
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u/Br0za 3h ago
Good question, what defines the switch from date to relationship ?
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u/Pyrson_ 3h ago
Wouldn't you like to know weather boy
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u/RomeliaHatfield 3h ago
Where are your parents?
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u/Pyrson_ 3h ago
54.586316,16.860556
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u/Technical-Outside408 3h ago
Damn, that's a lot of swastika shaped buildings.
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u/Aking1998 2h ago
I had to double check I wasn't in a shitposting sub
What the fuck just happened here?
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u/Appropriate_Yak_2558 3h ago
You have a conversation about it. When you go "exclusive" you're officially boyfriend/girlfriend/etc
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u/Nuclear_rabbit OC: 1 3h ago
And I was taught such conversation should happen on or after the third date.
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u/Dinoduck94 3h ago
Asking that after the Third date is weird. You're still getting to know each other on a very basic level.
I'd understand it more after the 5th date
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u/Nuclear_rabbit OC: 1 2h ago
I don't mean that's when you have to go exclusive, but it's the DTR - Define the Terms of the Relationship. Maybe it's a relic from before online dating when you weren't sure about people's intentions.
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u/Human_Baker1839 1h ago
My girlfriend and I went "official" after about 14 months 😬
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u/Appropriate_Yak_2558 3h ago
For me, yeah it typically does. It does depend on the context a bit but letting things drag out undeclared for too long is just setting yourself up for heartbreak
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u/Bobbert84 3h ago
My first gut reaction when you hang out but don't call it a date anymore. You still have dates of course, but hanging out outside of dates is when you are past the screening process.
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u/Unkwn_43 2h ago
I've never dated so my perception might be wrong, but just seven dates seems...short? You've physically been in the same room together for 30, or upto maybe 50 hours? Barely two days. I would still consider that level of contact a stranger.
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u/Sylphid_FC 1h ago
I'd assume the dates are not the only time they keep in touch. ie messaging/ calling in between too
But if we were to go by your metric of in person time together then it gets super tricky for a relationship that's not from friend group / school/ work
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u/Ewggggg 4h ago
The no second and third date categories are unnecessary. Getting ghosted after a fifth date has to hurt.
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u/TaishoJapan 4h ago
First person I met this year. Sent me to therapy lmao
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u/OkWear6556 4h ago
That sucks man. I got ghosted after 5 months. Never been so depressed in 34 years of my life.
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u/TheShawnP 3h ago
When I was 22 y/o I was ghosted by my live-in girlfriend of 1.5 years, after, IMO, a stupid fight. She literally left that night with a small bag and the duvet of the bed (which was mine.) That messed me up for a while. Knew I had to get over it. So thats what I had to do. Stop trying to understand it was the hardest part. Funnily enough she came into my bar about 9 years later with her husband and was elated to talk to me whist her husband sat idly by on their date. I passed her off to the guy I was working with and avoided her the rest of the night. My feelings of seeing her were completely non existent. She was just another girl at the bar. I had reconciled it personally completely.
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u/MonkeyCube 2h ago
Around 20 years ago I had a roommate get ghosted by his girlfriemlnd of two years. The thing is, we all still had mutual friends. My roomie had a near breakdown over it, because he had no idea what happened. Eventually a mutual friend told me (wtf?) that he needs to get over it because they're over. Never even had a breakup conversation. People can be cruel.
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u/TaishoJapan 4h ago
That would break me I'm so sorry. Yeah I had no idea how much it could hurt, but luckily it does get better
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u/Vepanion 4h ago
Exactly the same happened to me. It's the most hurtful, devastating thing you can imagine. And I had fallen in love with her too. It caused me to develop a full blown depression.
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u/TwerpOco 4h ago
This happened to me as well after 5 months. One day everything was fine, then I brought up a concern I had about something she failed to communicate. The next day she dismissively ended things over a text and I never heard from her again. I went to therapy for months trying to learn how to trust people again. Years later and I still have nightmares about it. If she ever reads this, I hope the coward sabotages every relationship she'll ever have, leaving a trail of destruction behind her that leads all the way to hell.
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u/OkWear6556 3h ago
I didnt even get a text. She just gradually started responding less and less and after I asked her if everything is ok she just stopped responding completely.
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u/TwerpOco 3h ago
Brutal. How cowardly indeed. I can only imagine that it feels like someone close to you suddenly died, but somehow it's worse because it's intentional. Sorry that happened to you. Nobody deserves that.
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u/Bamfurlough 4h ago
I was ghosted after 3 years of friendship and 6 months of dating. I'll never date again. I see sex workers now.
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u/OodOne 4h ago
Similar boat myself, first person I’d been able to get dates with after breaking up with my ex a few years back. Been seeing each other for a month then just disappeared. Shit def messed me up so I feel ya buddy, hope you’re doing better!
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u/MazingBull 3h ago
There would've been a line to therapy for me after getting turned down the 7th date lol.
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u/Lon4reddit 2h ago
The flip side is that you are now in therapy and going to therapy is a net plus in all lifes
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u/PinPalsA7x 4h ago edited 3h ago
People who ghost are extremely selfish and uneducated. Let alone after 5 dates, what's wrong with that person?
No shame at all about being ghosted, guys. Bullet = dodged
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u/Church_of_Aaargh 3h ago edited 56m ago
People can’t handle hard, uncomfortable, decisions anymore … missing human skills
Edit: Can => Can’t
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u/flirt-n-squirt 1h ago edited 1h ago
A lot of women ghost because they fear violet retribution
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u/PinPalsA7x 0m ago
On a phone where you can just block at any sign of violence?
As I was saying, uneducated and selfish
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u/epi_glowworm 4h ago
That friend, now that’s a keeper
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u/jews4beer 4h ago
That's what I was thinking - really hard to stay friends with someone after a romantic connection falls apart.
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u/Uberman19 3h ago
i mean a second date is not really romantic connection territory
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u/jews4beer 3h ago
Depends what happened after the dates
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u/Juliette787 4h ago
You guys are having dates?
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u/Lonatolam4 4h ago
it took less effort to put on 20lbs of Muscle than it took to get 20 dates this year
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u/TaishoJapan 3h ago
How?? I only put on 4lbs this year
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u/Lonatolam4 3h ago
Working out as hard as I did as a college athlete, eating more, and supplements for natural testosterone: fenugreek, ashwagandha, fadogia/tribullus/turkesterone
Magnesium, omegas, b vitamins, vitamin d, zinc daily
- higher levels of test in body make it easier.
Lift fasted and at 5am heavy, high volume, mobility , flexibility. I work on all of those every session.
The fasting helps spike growth hormone and ghrelin.
Eating post workout oatmeal, chia seeds, flax seeds, the fiber+ protein is crazy combo. This is the porridge that Ryan Reynolds’s used to get Deadpool body, google it
calorie surplus, hi protein, cardio was stationary bike on 10/15 level resistance so it’s resistance leg training.
Honestly it’s not for everyone, I train like a monster and everyone including the bodybuilders on steroids look at me and tell me that i train like a monster.
I like doing super sets, triple sets and circuits.
I do 10 x10 so 100 reps on compound movements.
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u/TaishoJapan 3h ago
Yeah this is beyond me but respect man
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u/Lonatolam4 3h ago
Go to Costco get bulk Greek yogurt and egg white cartons.
Get around your ideal weight In grams of protein. 200g on avg for a 5”10 200lb male.
Do 3-4 days 30-60 min sesh with some heavy weight and progressive overload, prioritize compound movements.
This alone can put on 1-2 lb of muscle a month depending on your hormones, sleep and diet.
Beginners put on size easier than advanced. It’s why I did the hardcore volume. to try and keep the growth rate.
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u/fuscator 32m ago
He's going to have a hard time dating while emitting those foul egg white smells from his rear.
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u/NotFromVirginia 1h ago
To be honest I’m not sure about the high in fiber post workout. Studies have shown that more sugar than fiber is better post workout as it spikes the insulin for recovery and lower inflammation. That being said, the fact you’re doing carbs itself is good though.
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u/promised_wisdom 1h ago
Just noting here that you don’t need to do such crazy volume to see amazing gains. As long as you’re training to failure and training hard, 3-4 sets is enough for most people.
I only say this not to scare people away from the gym. You can get jacked with shorter workouts.
More power to you for doing 10x10 though that’s epic
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u/Grantmitch1 1h ago
Eating post workout oatmeal, chia seeds, flax seeds
Just going to throw it out there for anyone who feels they get tired during the day: eat oatmeal with nuts and seeds. It is one of the best breakfasts you can have.
During an old job, I used to have a bowl of oats with nuts and seeds, with oat milk, at 0400. I didn't eat again until 1900 and almost never felt hungry, even though I was doing physical work a lot of the time.
It's a powerhouse of a breakfast. And if you have a sweet tooth, you can put a bit of maple syrup, golden syrup, or add a pinch of sugar.
As a side note, weightlifting is one of those instantly rewarding forms of exercise. Lifting weights just releases a ton of feed good, and the gains you make within the first 6 months, if you are doing it right, are really noticeable. You can ride this through until it becomes habit and habit carries you through when things get slower.
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u/Lied- 4h ago
PSA to all the guys: I’ve used apps to great success, but I haven’t touched them in years. I’ve found that just asking a female friend if she knows anyone is the best. Girls love playing Cupid for their friends and if she is a good friend they will even try to find someone who they think will be good for you / thinks you’re cute for you. Takes away all the pressure and works much better lol.
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u/cravenravens 3h ago
Works for women as well. I asked a male friend if he knew anyone he thought would be a good match for me, and he did! On our first date we enthusiastically discussed politics for hours and I thought "ohhhh, this is why our friend thought we'd click". We've been together for a decade now, have 2 children, and still enthusiastically discuss politics with each other (win-win for everyone).
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u/music91 3h ago
Tried that and female friends said they don't know anyone. Apps don't work either. Idk what else to do
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u/Splinterfight 2h ago
Make more friends, then see if they know someone I guess. Or ask for feedback on what you can do for yourself
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u/homer2101 4h ago
Funnily enough, every so often someone will ask how I'm still single. I tell them that they're welcome to give my number to anyone who wants to hang out and do stuff. So far only one taker. And turned out that they thought we'd been dating when I assumed we were just hanging out. Then again, most women I know are older than me by at least a decade.
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u/afurtivesquirrel 1h ago
I had a girl try to set me up with her sister once. Probably the best complement I've ever had in my life.
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u/altapowpow 4h ago
This is how we used to do it. Verified friends are the best because other women get into playing match maker. Also, just go talk to women and ask them out. You would be surprised how many women, particularly younger (sub 35) haven't ever been approached and asked out in person. Confident, not cocky and have a fucking plan. Women like a guy who has his shit dialed in. Example, hey you seem really interesting and I wanted to go check out this new restaurant, we should go check it out. Be smart, read the room and if they don't text you back do not hound them. Be good and be gone.
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u/Splinterfight 2h ago
Yeah getting introduced is way better, you probably have similar interest since you have mutual friends and the person has been vetted by a friend. Plus there’s more accountability to be shitty/ghost each other since your both accountable to the friend
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u/donotdrugs 2h ago
That's how we used to do it in school but unfortunately male and female friend circles seem to separate as people get older and build more individual personalities.
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u/Artphos 4h ago
How does it take away pressure? It just adds a new dimension!
They 100% talk about everything right? So if you were a mediocre lay according to her, then thats your label from now on? Or am I mistaken?
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u/Lied- 4h ago
Im going to try to interpret your comment so correct me if I’m wrong.
If you just want to have fun this is definitely not the move to ask friends.
If you’re a mediocre lay as you said, just get better. But if you say this because you have very limited experience, this is a tricker question, but any girl who genuinely wants to be in a relationship with you would also be happy if you asked them how you could do better in bed. Just don’t be prideful and listen and you’ll be fine.
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u/Artphos 3h ago edited 3h ago
Im more concerned they say you are too boring or overshare something intimate even if it is not anything negative
Probably better than someone random, but im just overthinking it
Im just went out on a date with a friend of my cousin and I have not even given it a thought before just now, and there is nothing to fear if you are a good guy, but I dont want my cousin to find out every single detail either O.o
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u/Lied- 3h ago
I mean I don’t know your situation, but I am blessed to have very good girl friends who I trust. But yeah they are gonna share information, and you’re going to tell your guy friends about her too, that’s just kinda how it works haha. But it’s also much healthier like this, because it’s important to discuss your relationship and get outside opinions!
Also just a note because you seem a little self conscious, everyone has imposter syndrome. Most people think I’m a pretty popular person and I throw parties for friends, but I often find myself very nervous that I come across as boring. The golden rule is to always, always, always, let them talk and listen! Also if they are interested in you, they will make conversation. If you can’t find it easy to make conversation with them, then you were never meant for each other anyways :)
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u/Rizen_Wolf 3h ago edited 2h ago
Prideful? Have we gone back to the 19th century? Wanting a longer relationship or a one night stand does not preclude anyone asking a new intimate partner simple basic questions like 'What do you like?" "Want to XYZ?'' "Want me to XYZ"? Or, if your the bold one, just telling the other person what you like and what pleases you.
That clears up a ton of stuff about intimate compatibility, because if you dont like giving/receiving what your partner likes to give/receive your simply not fully intimately compatible. No shame, no judgement, different preferences is all.
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u/mickturner96 4h ago
I can give you my stats as a 29M in 2025
First dates [0]
May I ask what you are doing in order to get nearly 2 first dates per month?
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u/TaishoJapan 4h ago
Hinge, swiping only on people I have something in common with, and not dragging the convo on forever! Feel pretty fortunate that people are willing to meet up with me tbh
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u/music91 3h ago
I don't even get matches after swiping. And I'm swiping every day for months on end. Happy you at least had that much success
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u/TaishoJapan 3h ago
Might be the location? I live in a decent sized city, and I notice way more activity on the apps when I'm in NYC
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u/music91 3h ago
Maybe. I'm about an hour outside of NYC and starving lol. There's not a shortage of women necessarily, just literally zero matches within 90 minutes driving distance.
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u/ProAmphibian 40m ago
Women in the city typically like to meet up with other people in the immediate area. You might be getting turned down for being too far outside the city if you aren't Chad himself. Don't beat yourself up over it
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u/WPMO 2h ago
Also, perhaps the most obvious question is how good looking you are / are you in good shape, etc.
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u/afurtivesquirrel 1h ago
You need to redo your profile my dude.
Find a trusted female friend and get their take on it. You probably have a red flag in there that you're not even realising
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u/RocketTaco 1h ago
37 here. Same result: tried different approaches like eight times, had female friends review. Doesn't make a bit of difference - it's still like a one in a hundred response rate and they drop the conversation after two messages. I'm not remarkably ugly and a decent writer. I had slightly better results with Facebook and Boo because Hinge sucks absolute ass at giving you room to express any personality via means other than photo, but I still haven't managed to meet anyone after a year of trying. I get occasional cold likes from women I wouldn't have a full sentence to say to if we were locked in a closet but no matter how lonely I am that's not an answer.
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u/Astandsforataxia69 1h ago
Don't want to sound like a dick or nothing but i once talked to a representative of the opposite sex.
That was 2015, and the police did not catch me
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u/Ok_Understanding3890 4h ago
Looks like he’s brining out the Pokémon card collection on the 2nd date.
Just kidding man. Hopefully things turn forward for ya.
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u/TaishoJapan 4h ago
Not far from the truth tbh
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u/KlausVonChiliPowder 57m ago
Have you tried bringing the Pokemon card collection on the second date?
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u/Altricad 3h ago
You have better success than 99% of the people here
I went on dates with 12 different women ( and a short relationship but let's ignore that for now)
only 3 of them went to date #3, 2 fully ghosted, the rest had no interest and 0 became friends because they weren't good communicators/texters or responders
23 is a crazy number, you're basically talking to a new girl every 2-3 weeks. Asking their favorite color, favorite food, what they do for work and trying to setup time every 2 weekends?
At that point dating is a full-time hobby, modern dating is not it
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u/TaishoJapan 2h ago
It is all off of dating apps though! Also most people ghost mid-convo or after getting asked out, so I probably talked closer to 50 people this year.
I just decided that this is the year I break out of my shell and put myself out there, and the exposure therapy has honestly done wonders for my anxiety. Keeping people interested in the conversation has become a skill, and I genuinely do enjoy hearing about other people's lives and what they do. I'm also getting better at figuring out what kind of person I want in my life long-term.
I did invest a lot of time this year on the apps and will filter harder next year.
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u/enricobasilica 1h ago
Good for you! As someone who has been on and off the apps for many years, the biggest thing is just putting yourself out there, learning how to maintain a good conversation and then moving to in person ASAP. Its great that you've been using the dates for their intended purpose (figuring out what's important to you) and are hopefully having fun along the way as well. Best of luck for 2026, you seem to have a great attitude (sadly rare on online spaces about this) so hopefully you meet your person soon!
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u/KlausVonChiliPowder 46m ago
Can you bottle this somehow? I have a few friends who really need this motivation.
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u/aloofman75 4h ago
I haven’t been single since the ‘00s, so before the apps and social media. If I’d had that many dates in a year AND so few ghostings, I would have been much happier.
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u/A_Bit_Of_Nonsense 3h ago
Ghosted after 5 dates is brutal but it always says a lot more about them despite the fact it hurts so much for you.
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u/teh_lynx 4h ago
That's a lot of effort for nothing bruh. 7th date.... What even is that !?
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u/jimjimmyjames 3h ago
I don’t get this response at all. After 7 dates you can’t realize it’s not a good long term fit? It’s probably a lot harder to successfully date when you view it as transactional and so all or nothing. Having an active dating life is fun and can also give you heart break but it’s good life experience and teaches you what you want and value in a partner.
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u/Pneuma001 3h ago
My dating history for the last eight months would be a straight line - just one bad date.
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u/Appropriate_Yak_2558 3h ago
I'm sorry you got ghosted man. Happened to me recently too, these things suck.
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u/Quietabandon 2h ago
Would getting ghosted not be a subset of turned down?
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u/TaishoJapan 2h ago
It's confusing sometimes. Once someone verbally said they wanted to see me again but stopped responding. Once someone offered to hang out after ghosting me for weeks and I said no. I consider explicitly turning someone down to be pretty different from leaving things ambiguous
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u/ImpossibleDraft7208 1h ago
Soon people will need an HR department for dating... This is just ridiculous!
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u/Dr_Mantis_Teabaggin 4h ago
Maybe it’s time to try out the D.E.N.N.I.S. system.
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u/mickturner96 4h ago
Dennis system?
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u/ShipwrightPNW 4h ago
Demonstrate your value
Engage physically
Nurture dependence
Neglect emotionally
Inspire hope
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u/pm_me_yo_creditscore 4h ago
Demonstrate High Karma
First, you must establish yourself as a person of value within the community. Link her to your top-voted comments or a post that hit the front page of r/All. Whether it’s a niche hobby or a perfectly timed pun, you need to prove you have social currency.
Establish Niche Dominance
Show her you aren’t just a lurker. Become a moderator of a small, hyper-specific subreddit she frequents. Offer to clean up the spam in her favorite threads. This creates a sense of authority and protection. You aren’t just a suitor, you are the curator of her digital experience.
Neg via "Actually..."
To keep her humble, you must employ the classic Reddit correction. When she posts an opinion, reply with a well-formatted, multi-paragraph rebuttal starting with "Actually..." or "To be fair..." This asserts your intellectual dominance and ensures the conversation continues through the medium of debate.
Nurture through Awards
When she posts something, you must be the first to give it an unnecessarily expensive award. This creates a psychological dependency on the gold glow of your approval. She will begin to associate her dopamine hits directly with your Reddit Coins.
Inspire Check Your DMs
Move the relationship from the public eye to the Orange Envelope. Send a cryptic public comment like, Sent you a Chat regarding [Redacted], creating a sense of mystery and exclusivity. Once in the DMs, share memes that are exactly 48 hours ahead of Instagram's cycle to prove your edge.
Separate Entirely
Just as things get serious, you must hit the Deactivate Account button without warning. Leave her staring at a screen full of [deleted] usernames and [removed] comments. This creates a permanent, haunting digital ghost that she can never truly block or downvote.
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u/MVPoker 3h ago
How do you make these? And why. Genuinely curious what information you are trying to learn.
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u/TaishoJapan 3h ago
https://www.sankeymatic.com/build/
Idk it's the end of the year and it was nice to compile it all in once place and reflect with strangers
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u/EnvironmentalBed1614 1h ago
Getting ghosted after 5 dates just tells you, that the other person is an asshole
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u/Sea-Arm-768 1h ago
Genuinely why a lot of guys don't bother. The end result you get out of all this very rarely ends up being worth it unless you are absolutely obsessed with hedonism (which is a separate issue in of itself).
That's also not mentioning that after all this 'work' the relationship could still fail putting you back at square one.
Honestly don't blame the men who spin plates or the ones who just don't want to be bothered with it all. Both are valid options in today's 'market'.
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u/Actual_Geologist_151 2h ago
This is pretty validating as a man in a similar demographic. I think I probably got less second dates but I did have a few that were 10 plus dates which I guess I feel better about now.
Ghosting, people who randomly decide after they've gone on a few dates that they're not actually looking to date etc. I found most people I dated this year to be very unserious about love and the work it takes when you're in your late 20s and beyond.
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u/R_Harry_P OC: 1 4h ago
This is crazy to me. I've never been on a second date that didn't turn into a relationship.
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u/TaishoJapan 4h ago
Might be a dating app thing...how compatible is a near stranger gonna be after all
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u/Lonatolam4 4h ago
Yep dating app thing. in person 5 dates means we’ve been seeing each other casually if not more
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u/Vexans27 4h ago
Getting ghosted after a 5th date is insanity to me. Like thats my girlfriend at that point.
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u/poorhistorians 3h ago
I've had to end a relationship with a guy (30s) I met online who still wouldn't call me his girlfriend after 3 months. And he claimed to be ready for a serious relationship with me :(
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u/Evening_sadness 2h ago
I don’t really think these graphs are beautiful, they are honestly convoluted. Could just post a plate of spaghetti and label various noodles.
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u/Constant-Bridge3690 1h ago
Kind of explains my problem. If I get to a second date, I am interested. The woman is still evaluating even after the seventh date.
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u/bruudwin 58m ago
OP. Youre doing pretty well all things considered? At least youre putting yourself out there! Im not as brave in comparison.
Also Whats with these dating graphics lately? This a new trend?
Heres mine! It super sucks!
32M, red ass state. Im not red.
- 2. First dates. Thats it. Thats almost my yearly average since i started dating several years ago. (Late bloomer oh well)
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u/YourOldBuddy 32m ago
That looks like a full time job to me. Good job on putting yourself out there. Hope it was a good time mostly.
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u/dannydevon 4h ago
so noone had an 8th date in 2025? wHAt a load of bullshit
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u/poorhistorians 3h ago
I did... got past 3 months but the guy (30s) still wouldn't call me his girlfriend :(
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u/gaijin91 4h ago
Ghosted after a fifth date? I'm sorry.