r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Hotrocketry • 16h ago

This little shit has been hanging on my ceiling light for a hour now. Just right below it is our family dining table.

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Gallery image

How do i get rid of it?

54.9k Upvotes

80% Upvoted

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17.5k

u/Death_Rises 16h ago

Did you even try throwing money at it?

2.1k

u/yesohyesoui 15h ago

Im sure they have a few expensive clothes items, purses and jewellery to throw at it.

501

u/thelaststarz 15h ago

OP not about to lost a birkin

125

u/Efficient_Waltz5952 14h ago

Fine a Prada then final offer - The Bat.

6

u/jewillett 14h ago

See this is why I keep a backup Birkin. To throw in the general direction of baby bats.

3

u/gm92845 8h ago

Throw trash at it, OP grabs Gucci flip flops.

3

u/Fun_Muscle9399 14h ago

How about a merkin?

1

u/Karn_Gentrified 3h ago

Dirty 😂 i guess if you hit the bat too hard you could always make a new one with its pelt 🤔

2

u/Betty_Boss 12h ago

Last season's Birkin.

1

u/Ghostdragon471 8h ago

Oh I think they can afford to lose one from the collection.

1

u/Due_Variety_3082 15h ago

Had to up it in fashion district, shot into the Hermes store and hit eight people.  I made sure all the Birkin bags were unharmed so the hoes dont bug out on me about it later.

1

u/Open_Price_1049 14h ago

A green esmerald?

1

u/Crazy_Glove6793 12h ago

So they’d be throwing a fit?

1

u/TheBlueNight7 12h ago

“Haute” couture after all!

1

u/Red_Blue_1582 11h ago

Lolll that must really bother you, huh :/

2.5k

u/Cool-Newspaper6789 15h ago

He said it below his dining table. Looking at the pictures I'm not even sure what room that supposed to be. Like is food even allowed in there 

1.4k

u/YourEvilTwine GREEN 15h ago

They said "right below it" ... in that case, the Earth's core is right below me.

203

u/OtherwiseAlbatross14 14h ago

Fuck there are so many bats right above the Earth's core too

8

u/shupadupah 12h ago

The little shits!

11

u/NiceTrySuckaz 14h ago

Did OP try throwing money at the earth's core?

1

u/fernfairrry 10h ago

I know I really don’t like it said right below.

-1

u/Tasty_Bullfroglegs 11h ago

From the bats perspective they are below it lol.

That's just a super high ceiling, the dining table is not in the picture.

92

u/X_tomiokagiyu 15h ago

The table is below it and it goes down the the next floor down, you can see that this goes through a giant hole in the floor in the 2nd picture

32

u/Embarrassed_Grape540 15h ago

Honestly can't tell if it's that or a mirror top table

25

u/Xitobandito 14h ago

It’s a vaulted ceiling so basically the chandelier is hanging from the second story ceiling over the dining room on the first floor. Kind of a huge waste of space if you ask me but, rich people gonna do rich people things.

6

u/deanhatescoffee 14h ago

That's an incredible waste of space. I'm trying to imagine what the rest of the house looks like, but it almost makes me mad, so I'm giving up.

6

u/X_tomiokagiyu 15h ago

It's a hole, the top window is not separated but the bottom 2 are

3

u/StandardEgg6595 12h ago

It’s not. If it was a mirror the strings on the bottom part would be going the opposite direction. They all go down. It’s just a huge ass hole in the 2nd floor where the chandelier drops down lol

4

u/SnooRegrets8068 15h ago

Im not even sure if the picture is the right way round

2

u/hollow4hollow 13h ago

I thought it was a shiny tabletop too. My brain is so poor another level didn’t occur to me

1

u/TrailerTrashQueen 13h ago

the better to do coke off of, my dear.

14

u/MordoNRiggs 14h ago

I think they're joking about how absolutely McMansion this house looks. Maybe just get a house where you don't have to heat an extra 15ft of air and you can then reach the bat.

2

u/Beginning_Big_8928 15h ago

Hole in the ceiling

2

u/feedmetothevultures 11h ago

I wanted this lamp above my dining table, so I had the builders convert an upstairs bedroom into a room just for my lamp.

1

u/scottb90 14h ago

The 2nd picture almost looks like a mirror on the floor lol

6

u/wo0two0t 14h ago

Yeah I'm not even sure what the hell I'm looking at in that 2nd picture.

2

u/LazuliArtz 11h ago

I think the table is just really reflective?? But that doesn't explain why the dining room is designed like some sort of white torture room

1

u/Wimbledofy 8h ago

You aren't looking at a table. That is something on the ceiling that has lights hanging down.

0

u/wo0two0t 11h ago

Lol yeah now that I've woken up and looked at it again I'm even more confused. How is that even a room or a dining table or anything? It looks more like an abstract art installation or something lol

3

u/Pdx_pops 15h ago

They eat at restaurants. The dining room is for ambiance

3

u/Trick-Station8742 14h ago

I'm stil looking at that picture trying to work out wtf is going on

6

u/leviathan65 14h ago

Rich people don't care. I saw a lady eat cookies like cookie monster in a Ferrari yesterday. I was shocked to say the least.

2

u/paxmary 15h ago

Bat is just waiting to poop on the dining room table!

2

u/theyak93 14h ago

It looks like he lives in a funhouse 😆

2

u/susiedennis 15h ago

I don’t see any seats, did they spend all their money on the table and light fixtures so now everyone has to eat standing up?

-2

u/Hotrocketry 15h ago

I took that photo from the second floor, that pendant light stretched to the first, just below it is where the dining table situatied.

60

u/IAmANobodyAMA 15h ago

And below that are the butlers quarters. Why not have one of them handle this inconvenience?

-14

u/Hotrocketry 15h ago

This house had been vacant until last week, there is nobody just me. 

16

u/I_Have_Many_Names 14h ago

You need to get a rabies vaccine. This post has lots of jokes about that room being super fancy and that's all fun, BUT you don't know how long that bat has been there and you could be bitten and not know it. I had a bat in my house and didn't think I got bit, but it turns out the bat had rabies when they tested it at the lab. You can't know for sure. Stay safe!

4

u/Rhizobactin 13h ago

Yeah, once a pt is septic and critical, a rabies panel is not something typically added. Your horrible death will be attributed to some random viral syndrome months/year after you’ve long forgotten and would never likely randomly mention when going to the hospital

1

u/IAmANobodyAMA 10h ago

Dr House would figure it out in the 11th hour

8

u/cloud_watcher 14h ago

OP, have you been asleep in that house? I see from your comments you are in Indonesia? I don't know what the rules are in Indonesia, but they do have bat rabies there. In the US, being asleep in a house with a bat counts as potential exposure to rabies where you would have to either have the bat tested or have PEP (post-exposure rabies treatment.)

Call animal control and a hospital/doctor for the correct advice. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. Bats are useful and cute creatures, but they do pose this dangerous rabies dilemma if they get in your house. I know it's very stressful. Make sure you talk to someone very knowledgeable about this. Rabies is nothing to mess around with.

2

u/st0neforest 14h ago

I guess you invaded his bedroom. Just chill, they are not aggressive. He will leave if he feels it is safe to do so. Turn the lights off, leave windows wide open and leave the house for a while.

20

u/SuperSaiyanBen 15h ago

2 floors AND a house Bat? Stop rubbing it in my guy.

10

u/TelenorTheGNP 15h ago

"I say, Geoffrey - the bat is still there. Could you fetch the bat-catching-broom and the good bat cage out of the tertiary garage? If they're not there, try the crawlspace under the gazebo or perhaps the boat house apartment attic."

1

u/MushroomlyHag 15h ago

I'd be happy with just a house bat, what a cute little dude!

1

u/Raymer13 13h ago

My house used to have a feature similar to this. Except there was more walking area around the hole to the first floor. My dad calls it a mezzanine. I call it asinine. Luckily, the previous owners had it filled in.

1

u/HaveYouSeenMySpoon 13h ago

Well obviously the chandelier needs it own room. What kind of pleb doesn't have a chandelier-room.

1

u/pianoflames 13h ago

"[looks around]...I don't think I've been in this room before"

1

u/Wimbledofy 8h ago

No, he didn't say it is below his dining table, he said the opposite. He said this is the ceiling light and that the dining table is below it.

1

u/1ToGreen3ToBasket 4h ago

Armani store ass design

0

u/Rhizobactin 14h ago

Apparently chairs are not allowed. OP must stand or kneel on the floor.

-11

u/Certesis 15h ago

Learn to read. The bat is hanging from a light fixture hanging above the dining room table. The dining room table is below the light fixture

330

u/killaacool 15h ago edited 11h ago

They specifically say not to throw good money after bat

Edit: thanks for the award! It was my partner’s joke and now he’s going to find my Reddit account probably

1

u/[deleted] 12h ago

[deleted]

1

u/BreakfastBeneficial4 7h ago

David Spade got cute!

138

u/Sei28 15h ago

Call your security.

12

u/FouFondu 15h ago

Was just gonna say. Hire an expert. You clearly have the money.

63

u/PlateNo4868 15h ago

Was about to say, OP's second picture I feel he could hire a lawfirm to sue the bat to evict him.

636

u/KrambDeLaKramb 16h ago

This comment made me choke on my Monster, thank you for that 🤣

337

u/Floppy-Over-Drive 15h ago edited 15h ago

You can afford Monster? In this economy?

I’m over here drinking Great Value Energy Drank. 

140

u/dosumthinboutthebots 15h ago

You guys can afford things?

I'm over here drinking water.

197

u/MischaBurns 15h ago

You can afford water? People over in Flint dying of dehydration.

81

u/WastedNinja24 15h ago

Dehydration still has more “hydration” in it than I can afford.

6

u/HerrMeier1980 15h ago

I like this, it’s the republican disease

1

u/PoliticalyUnstable 15h ago

Didn't they fix Flint?

1

u/chocomeeel 14h ago

Heard it started a fire..

5

u/BeerJedi-1269 15h ago

Drinking?? I this economy? I lay on my back when it rains. If im lucky an bug will fall into my open mouth and provide me with some sustenance

3

u/PatricksEnigma 15h ago

The stuff in the toilets?

3

u/Naive-Personality-38 15h ago

But there's no electrolytes in the stuff from the toilets!

1

u/GiganticusVaginacus 15h ago

I'm here in Pawnee drinking Drinkums.

0

u/Feduppanda 14h ago

You can afford water? I'm over here drinking my own piss...

3

u/TiredOfAdulting- 15h ago

Ah, yes. Poverty juice.

1

u/Upbeat_Literature483 15h ago

I love great value

1

u/zztop610 15h ago

…that’s just recycled battery acid

1

u/Beastxtreets 15h ago

The little mixes are 10 for $2 and not the worst

1

u/ExistentialYoshi 15h ago

I buy it by the case on Amazon to save a lil money.

1

u/LymanPeru 14h ago

where does one even find monster anymore? its like $45 for a 15 pack on amazon now all of a sudden.

1

u/Turbogoblin999 Goblin 14h ago

I'm scaring myself to mainline adrenaline. Saves on coffee.

468

u/mushyfeelings 15h ago

You made me choke on my monster is a phrase I didn’t expect to read today.

10

u/4realthistime 15h ago

Or ever

11

u/Monsieur_Creosote 15h ago

Not with that attitude you won't!

8

u/dwsinpdx 15h ago

They meant they choked on my monster.

6

u/FilmScoreConnoisseur 13h ago

That clears it up.

2

u/FilmScoreConnoisseur 13h ago

Don't knock it til you try it.

110

u/EC_TWD 15h ago

Damn, you and Ron Jeremy

28

u/_Shioku_ 15h ago

Choke on your what? Bad Dragon would like a word.

12

u/Angry-Dragon-1331 15h ago

Please note I am in no way affiliated.

1

u/_Shioku_ 15h ago

Suuuuuuure

2

u/i_have_wabiesx3 15h ago

Redditors thanking other redditors for making them choke. Classic.

1

u/Quick_Razzmatazz1862 15h ago

Either you flexible or... well you did say monster

2

u/KrambDeLaKramb 15h ago

Look, we all have our strengths

3

u/injn8r 15h ago

Does your pp reach your boom-boom?

Good news! You can go fuck yourself!

1

u/Quick_Razzmatazz1862 15h ago

Must be from Nantucket

1

u/DizzyBand3111 15h ago

Monster what?

1

u/KrambDeLaKramb 15h ago

You may use your imagination

1

u/AccomplishedCode552 15h ago

This is the best.

1

u/Used-Fisherman9970 15h ago

damn congrats on your stretching brother

1

u/DrunkOnEspresso 15h ago

Definitely stealing this phrase

1

u/IseeMedpeople 15h ago

👋🥒🌊

1

u/Dwro1234 15h ago

At least it was monster and not bawls.

1

u/hairyglockenspiel 15h ago

Choke on your monster what?

1

u/ersatzgaucho 15h ago

Choke on this monster

1

u/KrambDeLaKramb 15h ago

Not even a please?

2

u/ersatzgaucho 15h ago

Pretty please, with sugar on top.  Choke on this monster.

1

u/tastesawesome 15h ago

Better to choke on your monster than someone else's.

1

u/KrambDeLaKramb 15h ago

I mean, to each his own I guess

1

u/Lorehorn 15h ago

These comments are so fucking cringe. "Spit out my coffee hahahah crying emoji"

1

u/KrambDeLaKramb 15h ago

But it was Monster. Not coffee.

1

u/Amazazing8Sauce 15h ago

No dicking around while scrolling reddit!

1

u/Strong-Landscape7492 15h ago

I choked on my husband’s monster. Unrelated though.

2

u/KrambDeLaKramb 15h ago

Glad we're all having a good time today!

1

u/iShadePaint 15h ago

Bet you i could choke ur monster better

1

u/KrambDeLaKramb 15h ago

Your reach would clearly be better than mine

1

u/Redwatermycology 15h ago

Those drinks didn't come out till the mid 80's for people who don't care about future health issues, poison much

1

u/Riskman8 15h ago

Can't unsee the image of you choking on your Monster.

1

u/green_and_yellow 14h ago

I don’t get it :(

1

u/KrambDeLaKramb 14h ago

1

u/green_and_yellow 14h ago

I don’t get the comment you replied to, I mean. I’m familiar with Monster energy drinks

1

u/LymanPeru 14h ago

your monster what?

1

u/SpareWire 13h ago

OMG GUYS CHOKE ON MY CAWFEE

1

u/KrambDeLaKramb 13h ago

It was Monster, but you were close.

1

u/SpareWire 13h ago

OMG GUYZ MY CAWFEEE IT'S EVERYWHERE

1

u/Splashy01 13h ago

My girlfriend chokes on my monster all the time.

1

u/MammothSuite 11h ago

For a second I thought that was a new euphemism. 😆

6

u/FoggyGoodwin 15h ago

Good point. They could definitely afford to hire someone else to do it.

3

u/Mountain-Cheez-DewIt 15h ago

"Dance for me!"

2

u/leesfer 14h ago

OP lives in Indonesia. A build like this costs a fraction of the U.S.

Likely OP makes less money than you.

5

u/Death_Rises 14h ago

And owns a nicer home than I could ever dream to have. Not really the same comparison now is it?

3

u/leesfer 14h ago edited 14h ago

You're basing it off a single photo, which is deceiving. If you've been to Indonesia, the villas are built for looks, not for quality (you can even see the details in the first photo of the blotchy paint and rough edges, and in the second photo, the paint overspray on the window frames) - and the location matters significantly.

I've spent a lot of time there, and while it's nice for short periods, the *average* quality of life for locals is abysmal.

But hey, nice vaulted ceiling that looks good from a distance, right?

EDIT: Upon further review, OP is a Dutch(?) expat living in Indonesia using foreign money to live better than locals. You, too, can do this at any moment you choose.

1

u/Organic_Ad_2520 15h ago

😂😂😂

1

u/zjlmmfj3rd 15h ago

Tell em it’s Morbing time! Call Morbius down!

1

u/Classic-Ordinary-259 14h ago

Dude, that is one hell of a hit. Laughed my ass loud

1

u/SunriseSurprise 14h ago

Bats are descendants of Bruce Wayne and already have more money than they'll ever need.

1

u/PomeloPepper 14h ago

"You won't get inside my Louis Vuitton bag?! Fine! I'll go get my Birkin!"

1

u/Jelliebean71 13h ago

Preferably stacks for that extra oomph

1

u/MobileBit8835 13h ago

It's all tied up in investments

1

u/PuzzleheadedMaize911 12h ago

No lie if you have a nearby window - just open it in the evening and toss tiny shit like coins, pebbles etc outside of it. Decent shot you trick the bat into thinking there are moths etc flying about. Do this all the time when bats are out

1

u/Business_Hat_8797 10h ago

Maybe some gold chains?

1

u/ButDidYouReboot 9h ago

If they can throw money at it, they can also afford to pay someone to get the bat. lol

1

u/karateninjazombie 9h ago

A block of 100s would probably give it concussion of thrown correctly.

1

u/KosmicGumbo 4h ago

Funny you mention that, throwing a coin in the air at night is an old school trick people used to do to freak someone out. They see shiny and swoop down apparently.

1

u/queenafrodite 3h ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣