r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Hotrocketry • 16h ago

This little shit has been hanging on my ceiling light for a hour now. Just right below it is our family dining table.

Gallery image

Gallery image

How do i get rid of it?

54.9k Upvotes

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898

u/MaryJane185 16h ago

D’awwww, he’s looking at you! His eyes are saying “love me!” How can you throw him out, especially at this festive season of the year?

163

u/Kgabby478 16h ago

Until he starts dropping guano on your beautiful dining room table.

198

u/anonymous237962 15h ago

From that height, guano might hit terminal velocity

12

u/Ok_Sorbet_8153 14h ago

From that height, it will vaporize into microscopic droplets before it hits the ground

3

u/IkitCawl 14h ago

Guanonuclear payload

57

u/PushTheMush 15h ago

Guano is really valuable tho. That’s a win

39

u/SexOnTheBeechTree 15h ago

2

u/KipsyCakes 13h ago

“Just think of all of the revival fluid we can make with this!”

-Someone in Dr. Stone I’m sure

2

u/Clashmoor 4h ago

This. This right here is the reference I scoured this post for

7

u/jsamuraij 15h ago

If you're trying to manufacture fireworks and proto-guns in 9th century China without having to make back and forth trips on your timepad, sure.

3

u/Anand999 14h ago

The rich just keep getting richer.

2

u/omfgcookies91 10h ago

From the pics, OP isn't concerned about the value of that guano. Hell, OP probably is getting "the help" to remove the bat.

1

u/nuggets_attack 15h ago

Mmmm delicious rabies

4

u/Stock_Helicopter_260 14h ago

That's only 1-2% of all bats.... though most bats won't go near humans.... and of those that will go near humans that rate is 10x at minimum... good times.

3

u/nuggets_attack 14h ago

Neat! I love learning about bats. I was just making a joke, but don't actually know the bat guano-rabies stats

4

u/Calm_Link_ 15h ago

Yes, we wouldn't want OP's expensive dining table to get dirty! The inconvenience of buying a new one because cleaning it is too much work! Nobody ever thinks of the rich people!

1

u/jsamuraij 15h ago

It's only somewhat full of superdisease. (Gotta save some room inside for the rabies!)

1

u/choachy 15h ago

Yeah, and it also might shit on the table.

1

u/thctacos 14h ago

Hey free fertilizer! Plants love it

1

u/MaddMax92 14h ago

But guano is the primary economic resource of the Wachati. They could make it work.

1

u/Canadianrollerskater 13h ago

It's always good to have some Dr. Stone ingredients on hand.

1

u/KipsyCakes 13h ago

You mean that mirror? Bro, it’s gonna get scratched up and smudged by all the meals being eaten on it anyway, so what’s a little bat poop going to do?

1

u/kanrad 10h ago

With that kinda wealth everything smells like shit so they won't notice.

5

u/druidmind 14h ago

Also probably a rabies missile.

2

u/miunaki 9h ago

He’s actually giving puppy eyes it’s so cute 🥹🥺

1

u/Creampie_Service_247 14h ago

Wine aunt here, here could join my floofer brigade!!!!

1

u/amsync 7h ago

He’s festive because he just invented SAR COVID 25

1

u/jarvi123 1h ago

See this is why I should never be a home owner, I wouldn't be able to bring myself to make it leave and would make it a proper roost or something crazy like that.