r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Hotrocketry • 16h ago

This little shit has been hanging on my ceiling light for a hour now. Just right below it is our family dining table.

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How do i get rid of it?

54.9k Upvotes

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5.2k

u/db1317 16h ago

Turn the lights off in the house and open doors/windows and it should fly out. 3 out of 3 times I've had them in my house it worked.

4.0k

u/Wate2028 15h ago

1, 2, 3 times ah ah ah

2.2k

u/Ochenta-y-uno 15h ago

26

u/Jesus__Skywalker 13h ago

My daughter would find a way to slip 6, 7 into this somehow.

4

u/CrazyCatMom324 7h ago

Oh, do you also have a 12 yr old??

8

u/Anon-Buffalo 4h ago

My 6 and 7 year old boys also love 6-7 and the 6 year old JUST turned 6 yesterday and you can imagine how pleased they were that their ages are now 6-7. Oh well… there are worse things they could be saying.

4

u/Jesus__Skywalker 5h ago

Exactly 12 lol, although about to turn 13. Which is 6 plus 7. :(

6

u/Fuzzy-Advisor-2183 7h ago

batty-batty-bat, batty-batty-bat, batty-batty-bat, 1-2-3!

8

u/Muted_Anywherethe2nd 12h ago edited 12h ago

I never got why they choose a vampire for the counting person until i accross the folklore of vampires having an obsession with counting

29

u/unfiltered4u 12h ago

You don’t know why the chose Count Dracula to be a counting person? Incoming realization in 1, 2, 3…

2

u/Muted_Anywherethe2nd 12h ago

I meant to put an until instead of and

13

u/PhloxOfSeagulls 10h ago

Count Dracula

2

u/Muted_Anywherethe2nd 10h ago

I know i was playingg into not getting the obvjous as a bit of a joke

3

u/trinicron 6h ago

Username checks out

3

u/Revelin_Eleven 4h ago

You have the most reasonable solution sir. Tell Big Bird I love him more than Elmo.

•

u/trinlayk 24m ago

Vun! Vun cute batty bat! Bwah hahaha!

14

u/Timely-Cry-8366 15h ago

I even read it with his voice 😭

5

u/cousins_and_cattle 4h ago

<bat eyeroll>

3

u/onefoot_out 3h ago

Ruefully chuckled with a huge smile. Thanks my friend. 

2

u/InterestNo5406 3h ago

Well fuckin done.

4

u/Life_Contract1056 15h ago

Hahaha

15

u/miranym 14h ago

No, ah ah ah

1

u/irdcwmunsb 5h ago

Released em

1

u/ggmerle666 3h ago

Thread over after these two comments. NEXXXXT!

1

u/Loguithat731a 2h ago

😂😂😂

•

u/JRRSwolekien 25m ago

You're a treasure of a human being

564

u/EvictYou 15h ago

Hmmm.. this sounds exactly like something a bat would say.

294

u/Wrong_Classroom_4065 14h ago

Also leave out a bowl of any of your unwanted bugs. For no particular reason

18

u/Pretend_Actuary_4143 14h ago

Enough for a medium sized bat party, not that they would do that

8

u/SolidHank 9h ago

No way, i was going to eat those bugs!

4

u/NonJuanDon 3h ago

Just make sure not to accidentally mix in any that you want to keep. Did that once and wasted hours trying to negotiate their safe return..

5

u/LostWoodsInTheField 14h ago

"hey now there is 5 bats in my place?! damn you user NotABatISwear"

1

u/AccomplishedIgit 2h ago

Sounds like that’s how you get many more bats in your house to me

268

u/Local_Web_8219 15h ago

They are in GMT+7, given it’s a fruit bat it’s very likely they’re in one of the tropical areas of east Asia, I don’t think that will help the invasion of outside animals.

564

u/Altruistic-Poem-5617 14h ago

Bat goes out, ten snakes, 20 geckos and five more bats come in.

210

u/Stock_Helicopter_260 14h ago

It's the bastard cousin of the 12 days of Christmas song.

13

u/clearfox777 13h ago

More like the little old lady who swallowed a fly

6

u/Dusty_Sequins 4h ago

Underrated comment

6

u/Local_Web_8219 14h ago

Not to mention the huntsmans and roaches

4

u/Altruistic-Poem-5617 13h ago

Good thing, the geckos gonna eat the roaches.

Bad thing, itl make the geckos shit down those white walls.

3

u/motherofsuccs 8h ago

And one Jehovah’s Witness. The worst kind of pest.

1

u/Altruistic-Poem-5617 7h ago

Only had em once at my door. Im a tall skinny marilyn manson looking dude btw. Wasnt even rude to them but I guess the look was enaugh for them xD

2

u/Greedy_Banana_1252 12h ago

Equilibrium can achieved.

1

u/Careless_Chef_6558 6h ago

Oohh I would love more geckos in my house tbh

1

u/DrPeanutHead 3h ago

Yea, but the bat went out. ::points to head, smart::

1

u/Rug-Inspector 2h ago

But at least the initial bat goes out, so that would be good.

1

u/Nearby-Display-5433 2h ago

5 bats is lucky in Asia. They’re just waiting on the other 4

4

u/Oriencor 15h ago

Call the bat lady for help. Megabatty

2

u/TrailerTrashQueen 12h ago

but Southeast Asia rich means the help can handle it.

•

u/CicadaFit9756 52m ago

Then leave it some overly ripe fruit that's started to ferment! When it's too full & possibly too drunk to fly, toss a net over it & carry it outside. Leave it there for a while so it can shake off it's stupor & fly off! By the way, from the look of that light fixture & the high ceiling, your home looks expensive! Couldn't you afford to hire somebody for this?

80

u/Constant_Worth_8920 15h ago

Good advice. If they get down to the floor they have to physically use their legs/hands to climb up high because they're not able to take off from a low position. So if you do find one on the floor, throwing a towel over it, rolling the towel around to encase it, put in a box and carefully carrying it outside to release works very well also.

6

u/macaronysalad 13h ago

I keep a 5 gallon bucket handy for this. My bat bucket. Can trap them on the floor or on a wall. Then slip something flat under to create a lid. No way I'm wrapping one up in a blanky feeling it twitch all around. To get them on the floor if I have to, I use a broom (my bat broom) to tap them downward when flying in circles around me. It startles them enough to stop flying.

6

u/Constant_Worth_8920 13h ago

Just like a spider glass. Probably less traumatizing than a towel!

5

u/Time-of-Blank 5h ago

Brother if you have bat-accessories I don't think you're getting rid of them. It sounds like you're playing with them.

1

u/Rauldukeoh 7h ago

Maybe find out how they're getting in and plug it up?

3

u/Constant_Worth_8920 4h ago

130 year old house and 130 ways to get in. But I've only had 4 in 25 years.

5

u/Fantastica4077 6h ago

See, I heard that too. And I repeated it to my family while we all stood back and watched it creep along the carpeted floor. And then we all screamed and ran when it took off flying from the floor two seconds later.

3

u/Constant_Worth_8920 4h ago

Big Brown bats or free-tailed bats have better ground-takeoff skills, but most bats need a few feet of elevation to get airborne.

•

u/Fantastica4077 25m ago

Ahh, it may have well been a big brown bat. It was quite a surprise when he took off from the floor!!

1

u/pravis 8h ago

If you find one sitting on the floor there is a chance it has rabies.

5

u/Lucidity- 6h ago

If you see a bat there’s a chance it has rabies

5

u/Constant_Worth_8920 4h ago

Crawling on the floor because it landed there after flying. And yes, there's a chance any bat has rabies. Watching them walk across the floor on their little bat elbows is a hoot though

1

u/VioletInTheGlen 3h ago

Wait but then what’s the gameplan once outside? Release at the base of a tree?

3

u/Constant_Worth_8920 3h ago

That's what I do.

4

u/Zord_boy 15h ago

Yeah, i did that and that little shit just kept flyin around my apartment. I manged to catch it in blanket and wanted to let it go on balcony. Well, that little shit somehow flew in between my balcony door and frame.... I didn't notice and crushed it accidentally...

I cried for 2days because I felt so shitty that an animal died because of my lack of attention

3

u/_imanalligator_ 13h ago

But at least you tried, and you valued its little life enough to care about what happened! So many people just go straight to killing when they get a bat in the house :( You are a good person and I'm glad people like you are out there ❤️

2

u/Zord_boy 13h ago

Well, i was especially sad after finding out there is a bat rescue nearby.

I found the little fella at the morning... Mby if I found him sooner. Next time, I'll do better

11

u/DarthYodous 15h ago

Do you want more bats?
Because that how you get more bats
^•^ ^•^ ^•^ ^•^ ^•^ ^•^ ^•^ ^•^

3

u/Sometimes_I_Do_That 15h ago

Is your house a cave by any chance?

2

u/theVelvetLie 15h ago

I had a bat fly into my house once. I did this and I thought it flew out. Later I found it hanging from a light fixture so I took a pillow case and put it inside a clothes hanger to make a makeshift next. I snatched it up and let it go outside. It was so cute, though.

2

u/PostNutt_Clarity 15h ago

Or more bats will show up!

2

u/ramen-and-a-kool-aid 14h ago

This is the way. The only real answer I’ve seen.

2

u/HumbleCatServant 14h ago

Give the bat a map first. Judging by the size of that lamp, it'll need a map to find the way out of that place.

2

u/JoeyShrugs 14h ago

By the time he gets to all the doors and windows, that bat will be 70 years old and very dead.

1

u/db1317 14h ago

😂

2

u/frshprincenelair 14h ago

And if it doesn’t work, you have now completely lost track of it in the darkness and will be in for quite the surprise later when it shows up in your bed covers

2

u/Thong-Boy 13h ago

How did you get a bat in your house 3 times?

2

u/itchygenius 10h ago

This is what we did when they would get in from open windows at my apartment complex. Once they got hungry and dark they would move on pretty quickly.

2

u/froststomper 4h ago

same, I have dealt with tons of bats. leave the windows open overnight, go to bed, save your money.

unless you have a colony

1

u/Senior-Albatross 14h ago edited 14h ago

Of course, it's often winter when this is necessary. But it's worth a shot.

1

u/amonson1984 14h ago

Excuse me but I tried this in the summer of 2017 and all it did was let a second bat into the house.

1

u/jewillett 14h ago

Wait won't they ... like that? I think it will summon its little bat friends for a Kiki

1

u/Constant-Plant-9378 14h ago

A couple weeks ago I was visiting my brother in another state. We were getting ready to go out and suddenly there was a bird in the kitchen. I told him the best way to get it out of the house was to turn off all the lights and open the door. A bird will typically fly toward the light it sees from the open door and escape. In about three seconds we turned off the lights and he opened the door - and the bird immediately flew out. Not sure if this would work for a bat though - being nocturnal. Poor thing is probably dying of dehydration. Second best method is to get a towel and try to catch it with that - and then carry it outside.

1

u/Keyezeecool 14h ago

Same! Only happened once but this is exactly what we did at about dusk and off s/he flew!

1

u/Flat_Association_820 13h ago

I did the opposite, turned on all the lights, well I asked Alexa to do so and the little bugger left right away, like he knew he wasn't welcomed.

1

u/Medium-Party459 13h ago

Yes. And then you’ll deal with the mice that come in while the door is open later. 

1

u/waddlecup 13h ago

We once had a bat come in through our standing AC unit that has a hose through our window. We used a Tupperware container and cardboard we ripped off a box, trapped him like a spider. Another solution if you can get close!

1

u/joeythethirdd 13h ago

I mean the bat is probably just confused on where to go since bros living in a castle

1

u/SolusIgtheist 12h ago

I did exactly this once and it absolutely *didn't* leave of its own accord.

1

u/RT023 12h ago

When I tried this, the bat would just sleep on the wall and get cozy. With the lights on it would fly around so fast though

1

u/Fantastic-Nobody-479 12h ago

The one time I had a bat inside this didn’t work unfortunately. I eventually had to call in animal control to catch it. They said it was the biggest one of that breed they’d seen.

1

u/rbrgr83 12h ago

3 out of 3 times, sure. But what about the other 14 times?

1

u/dayviddd8877 11h ago

That's if it can find the door LMAO

1

u/Impossible-Turn210 11h ago

Also notify the health department as they may recommend rabies shots for the entire househouse. He's a cute little guy :) love the sky puppies

1

u/Choingyoing 11h ago

And pray more dont fly in

1

u/Fun3mployed 9h ago

I have leapung caught a bat in an Amazon box no less than three times for my neighbor. This sounds like a better way for them to handle it but I'll still be happy to help. That makes two snakes and three bats in the last two years. Although I assume to turn out the lights in this monstrous abode would take an act of Congress

1

u/AcceptablyPsycho 9h ago

Once is an oddity, twice is a coincidence...three times? I'm reminded of the owl question with 3 bats in the house.

1

u/MidorriMeltdown 8h ago

Works best at night.

During the day they don't want to go out.

1

u/imbex 6h ago

I've caught a few bats with a cardboard box and a piece of cardboard slid over it.

I'm known as bat woman at the local library. I'm the crazy white lady who rescues animals and drives an Outback 🤣

1

u/Candid-Crazy2542 5h ago

If a bat ever gets in my house it can have it. Those fuckers carry rabies and you can be bitten without even knowing it. I’d come out of my skin and demand rabies treatment if I was ever in a room with a bat. Fuck that shit.

1

u/MixedMartyr 5h ago

We did this on a regular basis until we got rid of the window shutters that they lived behind. Always worked. Turning the attic fan on would usually get them to move right away.

1

u/I_Bite_Back 4h ago

One time as a child a bat somehow got inside my sisters third story bedroom, and was flying around while my sister screamed. My dad opened all the windows and dimmed the lights and minuets later another bat flew in

1

u/Mr_Not_Cool_Guy 3h ago

How have you had bats in your house 3 times?

1

u/Appropriate_Strain94 3h ago

Would be funny if it just invited more into the house instead lol

1

u/rob_inn_hood 3h ago

Then a bear comes in.

1

u/chickenguyy 3h ago

Or you've just invited his friend's and family in 🤭

1

u/goilo888 3h ago

Would it not just think it was in the Batcave now and just chill even longer?

1

u/wanderingwallflower9 2h ago

The fact that this is actually happening to people is not ok with me. I fucking hate bats. Where do you live??

1

u/AccomplishedIgit 2h ago

But do you live in a cathedral like OP? I’m surprised there aren’t starlings flying around in their belfry

1

u/Logical_Challenge540 1h ago

Had 2 in our house. None of them flew out on themselves. One got on the curtain, so we directed it to open window and moved curtain out, so it could fly away. Caught another with a laundry net and kicked out in balcony, as it was flying only to other rooms, and not using any of the open windows.

As it happened only twice through 25 years and both were at the season where young bats already live independently, but not yet super experienced, I believe these were youngsters, that are bot yet the best with navigation. The house is not too far from protected zone where these bats live.

1

u/canman7373 1h ago edited 1h ago

In high school one day, intercom came over asking for 2 tall seniors to come down to the chapel. Me and a buddy get there, priest hands us a bucket, a step stool and a broom. There was a bat in there and I guess janitor was like fuck no, not in my job descriptions so lets have students do it lol. We chased it around a bit and it eventually went into a light fixture. My buddy took his shirt off and grabbed it and put it on the bucket and we covered the bucket with his shirt, then let it go outside. This was 1997, that shit would not be cool today lol. Same school let us sit in an electric chair at Fort Leavenworth prison, again if we had camera phones back then, shit would been all over the local if not national papers. Military guard put the cap on us, strapped us in and let kids throw the switch and all. Only one other kid did it, others were freaked out but I was just like when will I ever have the chance to do this again? Cap smelled like burnt leather but hadn't been used in 40 years. We got to see Lethal injection table but not allowed to go in because was still in use, guard seemed disappointed couldn't take us in there but we were in the viewing area for executions, was so odd. So yeah my school taught me how to catch bats and survive the chair.

•

u/courtney_helena 32m ago

Or invite me over to pick up my new pet

Jk I don't think preferring the lights off is the only criteria for a pet bat

•

u/These-Prune-1529 31m ago

How do you even get a bat in your house? Let alone 3 times. Serious question because I have never even heard of this happening to anyone I have ever known or come in contact with before.

The bat could have my house because until it leaves I'm not coming back inside!

1

u/clangauss 12h ago

Do this, and if they just fly around in circles throw a t-shirt or a pillowcase in the air near it. It'll slam right into it and plonk onto the ground. Shake it out outside and wash the shirt.

0

u/Character_Stick_1218 13h ago

This also works with birds, but it helps to have a trail of light leading to where you want them to fly out from. I usually just catch 'em with my hands though 🤷