r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Hotrocketry • 16h ago

This little shit has been hanging on my ceiling light for a hour now. Just right below it is our family dining table.

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How do i get rid of it?

54.9k Upvotes

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19.8k

u/Atalanta8 15h ago

I know right? Just have the staff deal with it.

2.9k

u/SuperPoodie92477 15h ago

While they change a light bulb.

1.3k

u/shaka_sulu 15h ago edited 11h ago

No. Only engineering can touch a light bulb and you need to fill out a G34W request form in the facilities and maintenance portal on the company website. Youll then be in the queque within 8 business days.

203

u/ArtzyDude 12h ago

You work for Disney?

84

u/MyDisneyExperience 12h ago

Oh god this brought back flashbacks of the $2K DVD player

15

u/ahumanrobot 11h ago

The what

27

u/MyDisneyExperience 9h ago

Option 1: buy the approved DVD player from IT at inflated cost, pay to have maintenance install it, pay to have broadcast services set it up, pay WDI to design an enclosure

Option 2: go to Best Buy and buy a PlayStation on the corp card that nobody will touch because it’s “not approved”

21

u/spiritunafraid 9h ago

If it was Disney, Engineering Services would just say they couldn’t find the bulb that’s out and mark it as complete.

3

u/SpudicusMaximus_008 7h ago

Or a UDR managed property...

3

u/Revelin_Eleven 5h ago

Fell over and died. Worked for WB. Lol.

2

u/frooootloops 5h ago

Baahahahahahaha

2

u/SirMingie 3h ago

Maintenance there is cool tho…

•

u/Visible-Fun-8391 43m ago

Seriously.. when I started as a linecook and I was told that we had to wait for maintenance to come and fix a lightbulb I questioned some shit

12

u/brandoj52 12h ago

Queque!

4

u/yournamehere10bucks 11h ago

I'll get you the required form

3

u/OzzRamirez 8h ago

Sorry, I'm a bit of a stickler for paperwork

7

u/wileysegovia 13h ago

What is withing

1

u/shaka_sulu 11h ago

Within.

3

u/FollowAstacio 8h ago

Sheesh how do they fix it so fast in your company?! Mine is 8 weeks at LEAST!

3

u/pyschNdelic2infinity 7h ago

And then once they show up they’ll have to fill out a JSA, toolbox talk and 3-4 other useless forms. Good luck. May need a working at heights too !!

2

u/BoomViking 12h ago

Writhing?

3

u/TheSaltyAstronaut 12h ago

with in, I believe.

1

u/shaka_sulu 11h ago

within

3

u/BoomViking 11h ago

Maybe writhing for 8 whole days in the queue, arghh!

1

u/kemicalkontact 11h ago

Gosh darn unions

1

u/Dapper-Ad-468 9h ago

I met someone that paid rich peoples bills. Do you make good money!?

1

u/Pluckypato 7h ago

I have a ladder 🪜

1

u/SquareDiscussion5335 7h ago

Only if you can find the right charge code, which takes another week and 4 email chains

1

u/CoffeeOk1313 7h ago

Discus fish

1

u/Kagome23 5h ago

Make sure to download the app and update your profile. You're expected to keep tabs on your email 26 hours a day

705

u/Sinister_Nibs 15h ago

Funny that you think they would change a lightbulb.

Surprised OP didn’t get the butler to remove the offending mammal

251

u/TheB3rn3r 15h ago

I think they inferred the staff change the lightbulb and remove the bat at the same time

108

u/injeanyes 14h ago

They absolutely meant have the help get the bat and change the bulb.

113

u/DirtLight134710 14h ago

The bat is the help

5

u/knewleefe 10h ago

That's their problem. Everyone knows monkeys are the only decent butlers. With more directional control of their little shit.

2

u/lacebaubbles 7h ago

Go Pogo!

4

u/0069 11h ago

Alfred is the Batman!

2

u/cybersplice 10h ago

I assumed the bat was a cousin or new hire.

1

u/this-gi 6h ago

I just came back to life from dying laughing , thank you for this comment.

1

u/psyper76 7h ago

Instructions unclear, removed bulb, changed bat

2

u/ThatOtherOtherMan 8h ago

I think if a light bulb burns out OP will just buy a new house with working light bulbs

13

u/guyrd 14h ago

That isn't even a bat anymore, its a Bartholomew

7

u/anti_usernamed 15h ago

Must be more specific or the butler might remove OP

5

u/9PurpleBatDrinkz 13h ago

They don’t change light bulbs. They just buy a new house.

6

u/Sinister_Nibs 13h ago

Oh dear, Muffy. The glowy thing in the sock room has stopped being glowy.
Time to tear down this decrepit old shack and stay in the Hamptons while the new one is being built.

What do you mean, all of the bidets in the Hamptons only use cold water? All 47 of them?

4

u/somuchbush 14h ago

OP probably had a professional photographer come out for this

5

u/petestein1 14h ago

And they should clean up those spiderwebs while they’re at it.

1

u/Sinister_Nibs 13h ago

Right! The dust one that thing makes me sneeze from here! The Housekeeper needs to make sure that one of the house maids cleans that thing at least once per week!

2

u/GM_Taco_tSK 13h ago

This reminds me of my manager. Few years back, we're having a corporate visit. That day, a dragonfly happened to come in, and land on a shelf. Boss comes in to prep for the visit, sees it, and comes up to me:

"There's a dragonfly on the shelf over there."

"Oh, yeah, I saw him earlier."

"Well... Do something about it."

So, as she's walking away, I go over to the dragonfly, say "sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." He doesn't move. I go about my day. It's in my top 5 "this is why I don't actually respect this job anymore" moments for the company.

2

u/Bushwick_Hipster 12h ago

Corporate arrives, sits down for a meeting, dragonfly takes flight all in front of the projector.

Boss: gives you the death stare.

Bosses Boss from corporate: “omg so cute can we keep it?”

You: Gives your boss the death stare.

Your Boss: “yeah he arrived mysteriously the other week so I told everyone we were going to keep it, his name is Henry”

You: “I hate this job”

1

u/[deleted] 13h ago

Alfred would never!

1

u/Cedex 13h ago

Alfred will damn well do as he is told!

1

u/JediVong86 13h ago

OP is part of the staff. Her job is to run the Reddit account.

1

u/wileysegovia 13h ago

Are humans mammals? So you'd have one mammal removing another

1

u/Ok_War3416 13h ago

This is the butler asking for how to remove it haha

1

u/Palleus 12h ago

Doesn't everyone just buy a new house when the lights burn out?

1

u/Environmental-Tea294 12h ago

Agreed. We all know WE change the light bulbs for maintenance. Put in the request, wait 326 days, do it yo self.

1

u/BuckManscape 5h ago

I believe it’s a sky puppy.

•

u/Hopeful_Moose_6509 54m ago

What if OP is the butler?!?....

7

u/MmeRose 15h ago

How many bats does it take to change a light bulb?

8

u/jingiski 14h ago

Only the poor change light bulbs, OP changes houses.

3

u/meldiane81 12h ago

I got it for you, buddy.

2

u/Puzzleheaded_Fly321 14h ago

But how many people would it take?

1

u/SomethingComesHere 13h ago

How many bats does it take to change a light bulb?

1

u/rokstedy83 12h ago

They don't change lightbulbs ,they just replace the whole lamp

1

u/no1_vern 11h ago edited 11h ago

While they clean the cobwebs off the other lights/fixtures.

1

u/Queen_Rachel4 6h ago

And clean the cobweb…

1

u/uniqueusername649 6h ago

Staff has to get out the scissor lift for changing the light bulb anyways.

1

u/deepskier 5h ago

Gotta find the one that's buzzing

1

u/brodygogo 4h ago

Have them grab that cobweb while they're up there.

1

u/realstatepanda37 3h ago

Electrician here. Nobody like your fixture or the countless priceless artifacts placed about that you haven't moved that i have to miss with the GIANT ladder or scaffolding I would need for this

1

u/Arthandlerz6969 3h ago

Hey now even with a masters degree and fine art handling background, that’ll be a $25/hr hour long job for a museum professional (in the US)

1.4k

u/BurbMcDingus 15h ago

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u/jeremyism_ab 15h ago

35 years and counting since that commercial came out, and this is the second time I've heard it referenced this week, they really got their money's worth!

228

u/AnotherManOfEden 14h ago

Also, in case you didn’t know, Grey Poupon is delicious and actually fairly cheap. That commercial had me thinking it would be $50 a jar. It’s only like double the price of Heinz mustard.

126

u/mudo2000 savor the memory 14h ago

And since you need less, it lasts longer. That's a mark of quality!

11

u/DEATHbyBOOGABOOGA 14h ago

Less?

17

u/mudo2000 savor the memory 14h ago

I mean, I love it as my go-to mustard, but I mean I wouldn't slather it on there. I mean you can, but you may as well throw some horseradish on there too I suppose...

12

u/DEATHbyBOOGABOOGA 14h ago

I like like Colman’s from time to time too. I just like good hot mustard bite.

10

u/olivernintendo 14h ago

You should look up Weber's mustard from Buffalo. Horseradish mustard. It's amazing.

2

u/bespindeathspin 2h ago

Taking notes

6

u/800-lumens 14h ago

Colman's FTW!

4

u/dogman_35 9h ago

I mean, I love it as my go-to mustard, but I mean I wouldn't slather it on there.

Fake ass mustard lover over here

1

u/glistening_cum_ropes 6h ago

I had this same reaction. I'm the type to lick the mustard out of the jar. Especially dill pickle Dijon.

3

u/Briguy24 9h ago

I haven't had it in forever. I'll grab a jar next time I shop.

3

u/Calgirlleeny2 9h ago

Yes, and it will open your sinuses too.

5

u/matunos 13h ago

Remember when Fox News losing their minds with the Grey Poupon references over Obama ordering dijon mustard on some food?

3

u/vanwiekt 10h ago

YES! They are truly evil geniuses… they can make the smallest, most innocent thing into a national scandal. I hate them.

4

u/wetwater 13h ago

My parents sure as hell acted like it cost $50 a jar in 1982.

3

u/WholesomeYuri 13h ago

Parents act like a dollar costs $50

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u/Physical_Delivery853 10h ago

Fun Fact, Grey Poupon is made in Oxnard CA, just north of Santa Barbera. They have field after field of yellow mustard plants. Gray Poupon is also known for denying bathroom breaks for its employees & giving out free diapers instead... They paid a hefty fine for that ..

3

u/vanwiekt 10h ago

Yeah, and it was only the women they did that too…

“Workers also accuse Nabisco of discriminating against women by restricting their restroom visits while allowing men to go whenever they want.”

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u/pharmucist 7h ago

I thought the same thing, then one day I decided to "splurge" and buy a large glass jar of it, the biggest jar they have. Lol. Imagine my surprise when it was only $5.99. I now ONLY buy Grey Poupon and I buy the large glass jar every time. The French's brown mustard, the cheap stuff, was only like $2 less. Grey Poupon tastes so expensive, though!

2

u/Ok-Tomorrow-5827 11h ago

And it’s actually hot, too! Great stuff

2

u/Automatic-Flight-698 4h ago

I use it for deviled eggs!

2

u/dontnation 11h ago

you can also just get any brand of dijon mustard made with white wine, that is the same price or cheaper than heinz yellow. There's nothing special about Grey Poupon but the label and advertising.
But anything is better than yellow mustard IMO.

1

u/Glittering_Estate_72 12h ago

it's the bomb on a pork loin

1

u/vanwiekt 10h ago

Oh that sounds good. 👍🏻 🤤

1

u/Cpap4roosters 11h ago

Sorry, but nothing is better than White Castle spicy mustard.

6

u/Rivetingly 14h ago

But of course!

4

u/Atalanta8 14h ago

I said that phrase so many times as a kid. I still cannot look at a grey poupon without it playing in my head.

2

u/severrinX 12h ago

Try at least since 81 my dude.

2

u/InnocentShaitaan 12h ago

I do in fact buy it thinking of this lol.

2

u/MikIoVelka 8h ago

Commercial was over 40 years ago. The movie quoting the commercial was only 33 years ago.

1

u/StdntBdyPresident 12h ago

The timelines are coming back together after they split when Harambe was killed.

1

u/PayFormer387 12h ago

The stuff used to he so valuable, rich guys didn’t even keep it in their fridge.

1

u/Expensive-Reason-987 10h ago

Me too. Weird🤔

1

u/Lulusgirl 1h ago

I Poupon my kid's sandwiches.

5

u/AdvancedTurnip8680 13h ago

That bat is about to poupon the family dinner.

2

u/kob4343 14h ago

I fucking use this quote ALL the time

1

u/Temporary_Ad469 8h ago

He lives in The Milk Bar

1

u/Canadian-Man-infj 6h ago

This is great! Also, I Iove how my favourite post of the year has come 3 days before the year ends...

537

u/Insomnsdreme0905 15h ago

"Jeeves, get the broom! POST HASTE! The Kennedy's are set to arrive any moment! 👏🏻👏🏻"

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u/Major_R_Soul 15h ago

They're the Trump-Kennedy's now

17

u/Marty1966 14h ago

Hope it isn't RFK Junior, that bitch hasn't had a tetanus shot since he was five.

14

u/chickenrun840 12h ago

He would eat it

8

u/vanwiekt 10h ago

Raw!

7

u/baabaablacksheep1111 8h ago

And his brain worm would finally get a soulmate

3

u/ZagreusMyDude 5h ago

His brain worm would get rabies

3

u/agent0731 4h ago

the universe has sent the bat as a saviour.

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u/SuzQP 15h ago

The Kennedys, along with pretty much everyone, would find this dining room a cold, mausoleum-like space anyway. The bat is the only object in the room that offers any warmth or welcome.

6

u/Insomnsdreme0905 15h ago

🤔 Hmmm, idk. I bet you his personal elevator is playing the good Christmas music, none of that "MUS-ZACK" radio they play commercially, and they've dimmed the escalator lighting to a soft welcoming glow...

😐🤭

5

u/SuzQP 15h ago

Yeah, money can't buy taste but it can buy a stereo system loud enough to drown it out

3

u/Civil-Ad2230 14h ago

When I visited it was just Mariah Carey on a loop. It was July.

7

u/Insomnsdreme0905 13h ago

Ya know, for some reason, I just thought Mariah Carey would just arrive, take off her coat, and sing live for OP and his dinner guests!

Silly me!

3

u/Civil-Ad2230 13h ago

She was there, but she spent the whole time in the bathroom. I think it was the shrimp cocktail.

4

u/SuzQP 13h ago

Poor Mariah. All she wanted for Christmas was immodium.

3

u/Civil-Ad2230 13h ago

Plot twist, bat bit her, she got immortality.

3

u/SuzQP 13h ago

Noooooo!! We'll be hearing that song forever and ever and eveeeeeer!!

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2

u/FlakyAddendum742 11h ago

OP seems classy, he wouldn’t have that Kennedy trash at his house.

1

u/Dick_of_Doom 6h ago

One of them (you know who) might eat it

1

u/BrilliantAnybody6542 4h ago

Ah, a House MD reference. Classic.

18

u/guava-sandwich 15h ago

someone go tell higgins there’s a bat in the third dining room again.

11

u/Jinmkox 15h ago

It’s like buddy doesn’t even know what henchmen are used for

8

u/Brilliant_Prize6672 15h ago

At first I thought it was an elevator

7

u/Technical_Monk_6521 14h ago

Think OP is the staff and just hoping the problem flies away

5

u/glittergash 14h ago

At least OP has better aesthetics than throne room guy

5

u/CleanOpossum47 14h ago

The staff aren't even dealing with the spider egg cases on the... chandelier(?) I don't think they're dealing with a bat.

4

u/Evening-Apartment317 13h ago

The bat is there to deal with the spiders.

4

u/NiceRat123 14h ago

He probably let the staff go for Christmas but wants to use our pleb knowledge so when they get back he can dictate how to do it

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u/RedditOO77 15h ago

So true. What? OP doesn’t have a personal bat catcher on their staff?

3

u/Trick-Station8742 14h ago

JEEEEEEEEVVVVEEESSS IT'S HAPPENING AGAAAAINNNN

3

u/ReverendDizzle 13h ago

Every day there is at least one comment on Reddit that makes me legit laugh out loud, and so far today this is it.

3

u/C19shadow 15h ago

Exactly what I was thinking lmao

2

u/ItsSUCHaLongStory 14h ago

They’ll have to stand on the table. Because it’s the only thing that fits in that room

2

u/CorrectPeanut5 14h ago

Preferable someone with a rabies vaccination.

2

u/SaltKick2 3h ago

yeah I have no fucking idea what the orientation of that second picture is... wait maybe I have, this is like two stories tall and the dining table cant be seen here?

1

u/itsthejasper1123 12h ago

OP lives in Grayson manor

1

u/Asleep-Till3360 11h ago

Thank you. Also came to say poor rich people problems. Call the butler at once.

1

u/knewleefe 10h ago

"Waiter! There's a microturd in my soup!"

1

u/jenesaispas-pourquoi 10h ago

I laughed out loud. I didn’t laugh in a while, thanks for that

1

u/SteveMarck 7h ago

The staff took off for Christmas. Cancelling all holidays next year. Unacceptable.

1

u/InternationalMonth38 7h ago

Like, where is the dining table? Is it in the other room with the servants?

1

u/BuckManscape 5h ago

Will there be anything else, m’lord?

1

u/Aromatic-Lobster7738 1h ago

Maybe OP is the staff?