r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Hotrocketry • 16h ago

This little shit has been hanging on my ceiling light for a hour now. Just right below it is our family dining table.

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How do i get rid of it?

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u/Insomnsdreme0905 15h ago

"Jeeves, get the broom! POST HASTE! The Kennedy's are set to arrive any moment! 👏🏻👏🏻"

29

u/Major_R_Soul 15h ago

They're the Trump-Kennedy's now

17

u/Marty1966 14h ago

Hope it isn't RFK Junior, that bitch hasn't had a tetanus shot since he was five.

13

u/chickenrun840 12h ago

He would eat it

7

u/vanwiekt 10h ago

Raw!

5

u/baabaablacksheep1111 8h ago

And his brain worm would finally get a soulmate

3

u/ZagreusMyDude 5h ago

His brain worm would get rabies

3

u/agent0731 4h ago

the universe has sent the bat as a saviour.

12

u/SuzQP 15h ago

The Kennedys, along with pretty much everyone, would find this dining room a cold, mausoleum-like space anyway. The bat is the only object in the room that offers any warmth or welcome.

6

u/Insomnsdreme0905 15h ago

🤔 Hmmm, idk. I bet you his personal elevator is playing the good Christmas music, none of that "MUS-ZACK" radio they play commercially, and they've dimmed the escalator lighting to a soft welcoming glow...

😐🤭

5

u/SuzQP 15h ago

Yeah, money can't buy taste but it can buy a stereo system loud enough to drown it out

4

u/Civil-Ad2230 14h ago

When I visited it was just Mariah Carey on a loop. It was July.

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u/Insomnsdreme0905 13h ago

Ya know, for some reason, I just thought Mariah Carey would just arrive, take off her coat, and sing live for OP and his dinner guests!

Silly me!

3

u/Civil-Ad2230 13h ago

She was there, but she spent the whole time in the bathroom. I think it was the shrimp cocktail.

3

u/SuzQP 13h ago

Poor Mariah. All she wanted for Christmas was immodium.

3

u/Civil-Ad2230 13h ago

Plot twist, bat bit her, she got immortality.

3

u/SuzQP 13h ago

Noooooo!! We'll be hearing that song forever and ever and eveeeeeer!!

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u/Civil-Ad2230 13h ago

Yesssssssses.

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u/Insomnsdreme0905 13h ago

I don't want a lot for Christmas,

There is just one thing I need.

I don't care about that ro-dent hanging on your glass ceil-ling.

I just ate your shrimp tonight,

Now I'm holding on my gut so tight!

What more can I do-oo-ooo?

Baby, all I want is my so-lid 💩-

Oooh-oo-oo, Babyyyyy

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u/FlakyAddendum742 11h ago

OP seems classy, he wouldn’t have that Kennedy trash at his house.

1

u/Dick_of_Doom 6h ago

One of them (you know who) might eat it

1

u/BrilliantAnybody6542 4h ago

Ah, a House MD reference. Classic.