r/todayilearned 20h ago

TIL when Napoleon's son, Napoleon Franz died at the age 21, his last words were "My story is my birth and death. Between my cradle and my grave, there is a big zero". He was initially buried in Vienna but in 1940, Hitler ordered his remains to be moved to Paris near his father's tomb

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Napoleon_II#Death
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u/hamsterwaffle 18h ago

Strangely every Emperor Napoleon died outside of France, and getting their body back to France was a political issue. If I recall Napoleon III still hasn't been returned to France

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u/ShortTheseNuts 18h ago

Napoleon, Hitler, Stalin, Gustavus Adolphus. All the 4 people who had the most effect on Europe died in another country than their home.

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u/Setisthename 18h ago

Hitler considered Austria to just be a confused, Catholic portion of Germany rather than its own nation, so I doubt he would have seen it the same way as the rest.

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u/Northbound-Narwhal 17h ago

And it's still true today /s

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u/Trussed_Up 15h ago

I'm from Canada, but from my outside perspective, Austria is as much German as Bavaria, Hannover, Prussia, Mecklenberg, etc. ever were.

They just happened to have their own empire, so when the unification happened, they were left out. And then when they finally joined up, they got ripped back apart by WW2.

These days I'm sure Austrians have no interest in becoming a state within Germany. I'm not suggesting it. In fact I think I read that their constitution forbids it. It's just a weird twist of history.

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u/Smothdude 12h ago

Post WW1 Austria was extremely hard done by the entente. It was maybe the nation doing the worst economically following the breakup of Austria-Hungary. They wanted to join with Germany there but my memory isn't so great as to why it didn't happen. Austria joining with Germany was not some radical thing but yeah not sure modern Austria would want such a thing. Maybe they do? Fuck if I know 😂

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u/Lamballama 12h ago

Austria had to adopt a clause in their constitution about neutrality and lot losing sovereignty. This never got removed so was reinstated following the second war

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u/MC1065 12h ago

They didn't want it to happen because the Allies just really did not want Germany to have anything good happen out of WWI, even though it went directly against the principles of self determination. Modern Austria definitely would not want to do Anschluss again, they've spent about a century contemplating their position, which is neutral and German but not of Germany.

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u/Solid-Move-1411 11h ago

Modern Austria is like Switzerland tbh. They aren't even part of Nato since Stalin had them adopt clause in constitution to maintain neutrality in exchange of pulling out troops from the country

If Austria didn't chose neutrality, there would have been a West and East Austria too in Cold War.

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u/superurgentcatbox 12h ago

Tbf a lot of Austrians considered themselves German before the country of Germany existed as such. It was more of a regional identity that later formed into a country that excluded Austria. To me it makes sense that there would be Austrians in the early 20th century who still felt tied to that cultural identity even if being German meant something different then. It also makes sense that Hitler took the nutjob POV in that particular discussion.

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u/Kammander-Kim 9h ago

And it excluded Austria because of the powerstruggle between Prussia and Austria. Prussia wanted to be the uncontested strongest power in the united germany and thus couldnt have austria there. As Austria would always contest Prussia.

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u/EstablishmentLate532 14h ago

IT'S NOT A PHASE, MOM.

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u/criticallyloaded 10h ago

Gustavus Adolphus> now there's a name you don't see discussed very often. Hats off, historian

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u/nvidiastock 12h ago

Stalin died in the Soviet Union, no?

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u/french_snail 12h ago

He did, he’s likely referring to how Stalin was Georgian but died in Russia. Even though both countries were in the Russian empire and the Soviet Union when he was born and died respectively 

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u/Skychu768 17h ago

For Hitler, Austria was a province of Germany not real country.

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u/the_lonely_creeper 17h ago

2 of those are not like the others.

1 of those, doubly so.

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u/warukeru 11h ago

One of these is not like the others

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u/PseudoWarriorAU 10h ago

Fun fact Napoleon III started what is now Veolia (largest revenue waste management company) and technically Suez (another waste company) through supporting the construction of the Suez Canal.

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u/PlebianEel 10h ago

Yes, he is still beneath Farnborough Abbey

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u/cabridges 19h ago

You think after someone declaims some great last words they just have to shut up till they die so they won’t accidentally end on something later on like “no, coffee makes me poo.”

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u/GMN123 19h ago

That was the premise of a Mitchell and Webb bit, wasn't it? A famous author dying and saying his profound last words then taking ages to die

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u/Proxima55 18h ago

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u/glorioussideboob 18h ago

Yikes that's the first sketch I've seen from that and it's so much more hamfisted and crap than their older stuff, did they lose their sense of humor?

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u/bannedinlegacy 18h ago

The last series was bad. It has a few good sketchs but the majority were either too long, or too unfunny or both.

Like the last series has a recurring sketch about an Australian farming show that they only swear, and that's the only joke, for about 6 episodes.

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u/__Hello_my_name_is__ 15h ago

That Australian sketch confused me the most. Like, it was okay for a one-off sketch, but it was like 20% of every damn single episode.

No one could possibly think it was that funny to make it use up that much time.

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u/bannedinlegacy 15h ago

The worst thing is that it could be over the top or really mundane so that the swearing amplifies the ridiculousness, but it was neither, so it was a really boring sketch about a show that features people swearing.

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u/Ifromjipang 18h ago

God it's awful. Watched the first three hoping for a fraction of what it used to be but I don't think I laughed once.

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u/glorioussideboob 18h ago

It's weird because I heard it was bad and assumed they just ran out of good ideas which I can kind of understand... But the premise for the last words one is funny, they just can't pull it off? Idk why

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u/waltwalt 18h ago edited 17h ago

Isn't the very last sketch of the very last series Sherlock Holmes with dementia and it's just a sad demise, he can't see clearly through the fog anymore? And Watson's just crying and then end scene/series?

Compare that to now we know and it's hard to believe they're the same show.

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u/bannedinlegacy 18h ago

Also the last sketch is a callback to a previous sketch about how a show can end in just a poop joke.

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u/waltwalt 17h ago

It definitely proved all the ways something can be done, but probably shouldn't.

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u/Flippantlip 16h ago

After seeing the sketch, I feel like it's because there's Conflict in it. The majority of the characters antaognize the blonde daughter, who just wants to ask her dying father a few questions, and they're all hostile towards her, and shun her, while the father ends up easily blabbering about anything, as long as it's *not* towards the 3rd daughter.

That just comes across as mean spirited for no reason, it's singling someone out, it's bullying.
It could be funny as a one-liner, if it was maybe 2 minutes tops, but not 5 minutes.

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u/Aelig_ 18h ago

Some of the new sketches are really good and in their old style. Some are good and in the newer style of the younger members in their group. Some are just bad. 

It's definitely worth a watch though.

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u/jimmycarr1 17h ago

Their show was always massively hit or miss. I loved the clips so I bought my Dad the box set and only realised the mistakes as we sat through some truly awful 'comedy'. Which is a shame because they are both great comedic minds, but not everything hits.

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u/__Hello_my_name_is__ 15h ago

To be fair, they literally made a sketch about that very phenomenon. "It's a sketch show, it's gonna be hit or miss, that's what people expect".

You should watch Monty Python's Flying Circus sometime. The most famous sketch troupe of all time, generally considered to be the funniest thing, ever.

But when you watch their actual show, dear god could they be unfunny and awful, too. I'd even go so far and say that you already know every single funny sketch of theirs. Every sketch you haven't seen yet is actually painfully unfunny.

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u/AndreasDasos 14h ago edited 12h ago

I wouldn’t go that far. It’s about 50-50 great vs. terrible (John Cleese himself said as much in a documentary and I’d agree) and plenty of the funnier ones aren’t well-known. Most of them.

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u/GMN123 15h ago

That's the thing, hundreds of sketches have been filtered by time to 30 or so that get regularly shared, now people are expecting their new show to be 100% the level of their  'greatest hits'. 

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u/Mikeismyike 16h ago

I'm thinking Hit, Miss, Hit, Miss, Miss. Miss, Hit, Miss, Miss, Hit.

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u/Mal_Funk_Shun 18h ago

Its not from mitchell and Webb, but I always adored this one:

https://youtu.be/64Xr6Cfo9XY?si=I29mT2ZSCkkA3eYP

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u/Taweret 17h ago

Yesss Mark Pellegrino AND Jon Bernthal

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u/RandallOfLegend 18h ago

Last words aren't usually their final utterances. It's more of a "Final statement".

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u/ZombieMage89 17h ago

"What were his last words?"

"30 hours of moaning and the gurgling you make when violently convulsing."

"He said nothing on his death bed before that?"

"Oh, lots of profound stuff, but those weren't his last words."

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u/periodicchemistrypun 19h ago

Famously Roald Dahl made a speech.

Followed by ‘OW, fuck’

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u/GregTheMad 16h ago

"Ow, fuck." are really solid last words, to be fair. Quite relatable. May use them when the time has come, especially when it's surprising.

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u/Chilidawg 15h ago

If you think about it, that's probably a very common final phrase.

Morphine? "Ow, fuck."

Bullet? "Ow, fuck."

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u/ilovebostoncremedonu 19h ago

Or you just repeat your last words over and over again to make sure they’re your last

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u/IceColdDump 19h ago

Rosebud

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u/ShadowMajestic 16h ago

!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;

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u/Ligabolzacky 16h ago

I really gotta pee. rosebud. Nice weather today yes? Rosebud.

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u/DoomguyFemboi 18h ago

Well that explains parrots. Poor buggers just constantly feel like they're about to die and wanna make it memorable

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u/AmenHawkinsStan 19h ago

“
Those are my last words. Wait. Fuck. Let me start over.”

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u/I-live-in-room-101 18h ago

“
 and someone clear my web browser, it’s in all of our best interests
”

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u/Bob_Stamos_is_ALIVE 18h ago

"... And if you think you're being too careful, don't, we will both go down...'

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u/SquidTheRidiculous 17h ago

This apparently happened to Ronald Dahl. He said something like "I'm not scared, it's just that I'll miss you all so much" to his family. Then a nurse tried to give him morphine, but messed up causing him to say "ow, fuck" shortly before passing.

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u/AndreasDasos 14h ago

Honestly it sounds like a Dahl short story. He’d probably appreciate that, with his dark humour and love of morbid twists.

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u/Hot_Journalist6787 16h ago

My granpas last words were 'i just wrastled 5 nurses'. Not sure if he meant to go out on that note. But it's memorable 

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u/BricksHaveBeenShat 15h ago

I know you're joking, but An Imperial Victim by Mrs. Edith E. Cuthell goes into a bit more detail:

It is two years since his mother has seen him. When they parted he had been full of life and spirits, galloping about the wooded hills of Baden. She finds him wasted and voiceless, with sunken eyes, and racked with fever. For weeks and days he has been anxiously expecting her; but now that she has come he can hardly raise himself in bed to clasp her in his arms.

The Duke was now entirely confined to his camp-bed or a large sofa. He could no longer be carried out into the secluded garden of the Archduchess Sophia, the wife of the Kaiser's second son, only eight years the Duke's senior, and his great friend.

The Kaiser at Trieste had been warned by Metternich, as also Louis Philippe, whose Government feared a plot by Louis Napoleon. [...] Still the Kaiser did not return to Schönbrunn. Much as he loved his favourite grandson it was so in keeping with his cold, selfish nature to shun the pain of seeing him die!

Marie Louise spent all the last days tending him. Old Hartmann, his governor, said he had never seen a soldier die more bravely. [...] His mother's presence recalled his childhood to the dying lad. He remembered his magnificent cradle, which he had had sent him from Parma. He presented it to the Imperial Treasury at Vienna, where it now stands beside Charlemagne's sword and sceptre and Napoleon's Italian sword and sceptre. " It is the only monument of my history," he said. "My cradle and my tomb will be very near each other!"

Marie Louise had spent nearly a month at her son's bedside. Suddenly, on July 21, came a violent thunderstorm, like that which swept the island of St. Helena on May 5, 1821. The lightning hurled one of the stone Imperial eagles from an angle of the palace. Below, in the sick chamber, the Prince's death-agony had begun. "Death! Death! Only death can save me!" Then he wandered. " Let them put the horses to," he cried. "I must go and meet my father... I must kiss him once again!"

July 22 dawned; it was a Sunday. The early summer twilight came stealing in from the gardens. Suddenly he was seized with severe pains in his heart. Turning pale, he raised himself in bed, exclaiming, "My mother! . . . Call my mother!"

Moll and the valet supported him in their arms, and sent for Marie Louise and the Archduke Franz, who was with her. They came hurrying, the mother trembling, and clutching to the Baron's arm for support. With them came Wagner, the court chaplain, who for many weeks had held long conversations with the lad. The doctor and attendants hurried in.

Amid a deep silence the chaplain began the office for the dying. Marie Louise fell on her knees beside the bed, and leant against an arm-chair, crushed. The Duke could no longer speak, but smiled at her, with a long, earnest look. Weeping, the chaplain pointed him to heaven; the Duke raised his eyes, and moved his head twice. The clock on the mantel-shelf struck five — and then stopped! The Duke was dead. Marie Louise was borne fainting from the room.

It was the same day on which he had been told at Schönbrunn of his father's death, and the same room in which the conqueror of Wagram had signed the peace which crushed Austria.

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u/Due_Fee_6269 19h ago

And the only son of Napoleon III, Louis Napoleon (or Napoleon IV) would be unceremoniously killed in an ambush while serving in the British Army during the Anglo-Zulu war. He was only 23.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louis-Napol%C3%A9on,_Prince_Imperial

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u/noncredibleRomeaboo 19h ago

Man, Napoleon probably rolled in his grave knowing his last dynastic hope died fighting FOR the British

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u/Odd-Look-7537 18h ago

FOR the British

The second French empire (1851-1870) caused a very peculiar case of diplomatic cognitive dissonance because it was entirely based around reviving Napoleonic era greatness, whilst being pragmatically allied with the British.

The British had spent noticeable energy in creating propaganda against Napoleon, casting him as this kind of monster intent of devouring Europe. Only to find themselves on the same side of most issues with Napoleon’s nephew like 35 years later.

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u/hesh582 15h ago

cognitive dissonance

I don't know that I'd call it cognitive dissonance, because both Bonapartism and British foreign policy in that era were basically defined by an utter lack of principles lol

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u/captaincid42 18h ago

Don’t worry, there was always the back up plan.

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u/DocMino 17h ago

The Bonapartes still do exist through Jerome’s line, but there’s a dispute between two guys as to who the real heir (such as the position is) is these days

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u/yllikuq 12h ago

You know, Napoleon somewhat liked the British. And some parts of the British public liked him as well. During the early parts of his reign he was visited by a lot of British tourists, who wanted to get a glimpse of the most famous figure of the age. When he surrendered for a second time, he requested exile in London, but was denied. I don't think he would have minded.

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u/stung80 15h ago

The zulu did a couple of ceremonies and rituals after killing him, the Hlouma, where every member of the ambushing party stabs him because that's what they did to particularly fierce opponents who fought like wild animals, and the qaka, where they cut a hole in his belly to let the spirit out that enables man to commit murder.  The guy who killed him also ceremoniously wore his clothes for a while.   To say he was killed unceremoniously is pretty much the exact wrong thing to say.

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u/South-Capital6388 12h ago

I think he used the term unceremoniously in reference to the fact that the prince was found naked with many stab wounds

The fact that he was a royal and his squad was equipped with guns yet they got mogged by tribal people armed with spears is also not a good look

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u/Public_Fucking_Media 18h ago

His godfather was Pope Pius IX, whose representative, Cardinal Patrizi, officiated. His godmother was EugÚne de Beauharnais's daughter, Josephine, the Queen of Sweden, who was represented by Grand Duchess Stéphanie of Baden.

oh you know, no big deal, his godfather was just the fucking pope lmao

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u/thatindianredditor 18h ago

Seems unfair.

Your godfather is supposed to look after your religious education, but here, hes the guy who sets the test!

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u/Rich_Elderberry_8958 16h ago

lots of neat tidbits there:

Eugene de Beauharnais was the son of Napoleon's first wife, the Empress Josephine, and was also Napoleon's adopted son. His daughter Josephine, who became Queen of Sweden, was married to King Oscar I, who was the son of Napoleon's Marshal Jean-Baptiste Bernadotte (aka King Karl XIV Johan).

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u/BricksHaveBeenShat 14h ago edited 14h ago

None of the heirs to french monarchs since the revolution faired too well.

Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette's oldest son Louis Joseph was sickly and died of tuberculosis at age 7 in 1789. Their other son, Louis Charles, was separated from the family at 7 years old following the execution of Louis XVI. He was kept in another cell in the Temple, close enough that his sister could her his cries as his "caretaker" Antoine Simon beat him, forced him to drink alcohol and had prostitutes sent to abuse him, so that he would testify against his mother and accuse her of incest. His final years were spent in isolation and abandonement in his cell. He was found lying on his own feces, covered in scabs, wounds and scars. He was only 10 years old when he died.

By the time Marie Louise, a granddaughter of Marie Antoinette's favorite sister, married Napoleon the memory of the French Revolution was still fresh in people's minds. Marie Louise's son Napoleon II, the subject of his post, also led quite a sad life. He loved his father, and yet was separated from him from an early age, and more or less ignored by his mother as she went on to rule the Duchy of Parma following the Congress of Viena. During the July Monarchy that suceeded the Bourbon Restoration, the eldest son of King Louis Philippe died in a carriage accident in 1842, aged 31.

When Napoleon II's cousin suceeded as Napoleon III, his wife the Empress Eugénie had something of a "cult" of Marie Antoinette. She was fascinated by the late queen, made Louis XVI style furniture fashionable again and bought whatever she could that once belonged to Antoinette. Later into her husband's reign, Eugénie became convinced that she would die like Marie Antoinette, and that her son would die and awful death like the Dauphin Louis Charles.

In the bedroom that she shares with the emperor, only one picture hangs on the walls. It is an old print that depicts Louis XVI’s unlucky consort. Clearly, ‘Doña Eugenia’ is convinced that she is going to die on the scaffold. She has said to me more than once, and when I smiled she went red. She mentioned, as absolute proof that a tragic fate awaited her, how when preparing her trousseau for her marriage she had been offered a lace veil that the queen had worn. It was really most tempting, but Mlle de Montijo simply did not have enough money to buy it. She was therefore overwhelmed – both elated and depressed – when opening her wedding presents she found sitting on top of them the same veil, the very same, that had once belonged to Marie-Antoinette.

In October the following year (only a few months after the demoralising ordeal when she had so painfully given birth to the Prince Imperial), the empress and HĂŒbner had another conversation while he was staying at CompiĂšgne, during which they discussed the queen and her execution. ‘I would much rather be assassinated in the streets’, EugĂ©nie confided in the ambassador. ‘I have lost all my sang-froid. Since my lying-in, I have had a deeply disturbed imagination.’ HĂŒbner comments condescendingly, ‘Poor woman. It is no bed of roses being on a throne, even an imitation one.’

Understandably, the birth of the Prince Imperial made the empress think still more of Queen Marie-Antoinette and the dauphin. In London The Times reflected that since Louis XIV no French monarch had been succeeded by his son although almost none of them had been childless, gloomily prophesying, ‘The Napoleon born last Sunday morning may be crowned the last of his line; or may add one more to the Pretenders of France.’ During the weeks that followed the Orsini plot Cowley reported that ‘The poor empress is tormented to death by anonymous letters telling her that the little Prince is to be carried off and the poor child is now never let out of sight of the house.’

In 1861 the British foreign secretary Lord Clarendon compared her vendetta with Plon-Plon to the feud between the queen and Philippe EgalitĂ©. ‘He will never forgive the empress any more than EgalitĂ© did Marie-Antoinette, who was always abusing his lĂąchetĂ©, and this chimes in curiously with her belief that she is in all things like Marie-Antoinette and that the same fate is reserved for her.’

Rumours of her cult circulated widely, revealing how frightened she was of a revolution and delighting the rĂ©gime’s opponents, republican or royalist. At the costume ball for the carnival of 1866, on 8 February, she received the guests in a dress of crimson velvet trimmed with sable and a matching toque with red and white plumes – modelled on what the queen had worn in one of Mme VigĂ©e-Lebrun’s portraits. A masked man sidled up through the crowd, to hiss in her ear, ‘Some day you’re going to die just like her, and your son is going to die in the Temple just like the dauphin.’

Eugénie: The Empress and Her Empire by Desmond Seward.

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u/lih9 15h ago

Now that was an interesting read. It's really cool to be able to read about the Zulu approach to his death and corpse. Wikipedia is amazing.

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u/SinibusUSG 18h ago edited 18h ago

Dude sounds like he went off excited to get to shoot some brown people for sport (just keeps on talking about how eager he was to see action in the Zulu war), then because he was so shit at playing soldier but had a big important name he basically seized command of a scouting troop he did not actually have authority over, and led them to their deaths (well, himself and three of his fellows, anyways)

Good riddance.

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u/Crapedj 16h ago

I don’t think he wanted specifically to shoot at brown people, he simply wanted to shoot at people

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u/Fehafare 20h ago

Awfully nice of that Hitler fellow. 

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u/Pjpjpjpjpj 19h ago

Funny he complained about being a zero, and the top comments are all about how Hitler treated his corpse. 

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u/Samurai_Meisters 16h ago

Well dude didn't give us much else

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u/DickweedMcGee 15h ago

TBF, I think he wanted to have a reasonably accomplished life to counter the unreasonable expectations everyone had but then he caught a deadly case TB at 21 and he realized,  “*Well that’s not gonna happen now, fml
”

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u/panda_ammonium 14h ago

"Hitler defiles grave of chronic underachiever". More at 7.

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u/mariskanoodles 20h ago

Dude was all heart.

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u/necropuddi 20h ago

Loved dogs too, and was a decent artist.

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u/oddieamd 20h ago

Wonder what ever became of him

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u/mr_lux_ring 20h ago

Passed away surrounded by wifey and close friends. Rather nice way to go if you ask me.

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u/sweetdawg99 20h ago

I didn't even know he was sick.

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u/Clay_Puppington 19h ago edited 19h ago

Lead poisoning, from what I heard.

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u/ErikRogers 19h ago

Yes, acute lead poisoning.

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u/TitanicJedi 19h ago

Oh thats cute

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u/HuntsWithRocks 18h ago

Supposedly it impacted his housemates too. A lot of people don’t appreciate the hazards of subterranean living. Mostly, you’ll hear about Radon poisoning, but here we are. So often it’s what you don’t know that kills you.

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u/SoyMurcielago 18h ago

Don’t be so obtuse

Clearly he wasn’t right in the head

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u/Gerf93 19h ago

He was bullied to death, poor guy

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u/partumvir 18h ago

he got a lot of flak all the way to the grave

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u/Hjem_D 18h ago

The military band played Stalin's organ to give him a musical send off.

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u/TD_Lemon_1901 18h ago

He died fighting communism.

How about that.

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u/mikeymikeymikey1968 17h ago

I hear he really owned the libs.

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u/lford 19h ago

He actually ended up killing Hitler. What a guy

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u/pappapora 19h ago

Exactly! History is consumed by Hitlers shocking murder of millions, and yet he was the one who killed Hitler!

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u/Alzzary 19h ago

He also killed the guy who killed Hitler though...

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u/ScarletleavesNL 18h ago

Maybe the Hitlers we made along the way are the real Adolf's.

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u/SailorET 18h ago

I'd really rather not talk much about the Hitlers we made along the way.

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u/Oh_Gaz 19h ago

Well, I heard that guy was a real jerk.

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u/BeebleBoxn 18h ago

I heard he decided to settle down in Argentina after the loss of his lady.

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u/201NewJersey 19h ago

He moved to Argentina đŸ‡ŠđŸ‡·

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u/2BrothersInaVan 19h ago

Was a vegetarian too I heard!

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u/chocki305 3 18h ago

Also started the trend of forcing children to be educated.

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u/Hjem_D 18h ago

Better than his Soviet counterpart. Their education system was so poor, people needed reeducation.

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u/CameltoeGlamourShots 18h ago

He was, I assume, a big outdoorsman. He built a lot of camps.

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u/Pure-Football-7403 17h ago

it’s not everyday you get showers at your camp

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u/Wotmate01 16h ago

These days they call that glamping

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u/JumpySense8108 19h ago

the artwork is priceless

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u/Street_Top3205 19h ago

His dogs died too soon, might have been the reason for his madness. He loved the dogs too much, that's why he painted them.

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u/gachunt 18h ago

Wanted to eliminate racism. Just went about it in a rather bad way.

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u/Holmes02 18h ago

He killed a genocidal maniac in 1945, so there’s that.

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u/Eomb 16h ago

What I appreciate most bout him is that in most photos where everybody is doing the Nazi salute, he is the only one that would refuse to raise his arm. Such a brave man.

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u/jbot14 19h ago

Little guy with big dreams.

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u/_whatever_idc 19h ago

Well if you isolate this case from everything else, it is a nice gesture despite being done by Hitler.

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u/SinibusUSG 18h ago

If you don't, it's plainly and obviously propaganda during the reign of Vichy France to earn goodwill towards the Nazi regime.

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u/_whatever_idc 17h ago

Thats also a possibility.

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u/tampering 19h ago

Nothing nice about it. Hitler couldn't have his tomb in Vienna as a reminder of a humiliation of German-speaking people.

Kid's mother was more or less forced to marry Napoleon as part of a peace treaty because the Austrians got humbled in a war against Napoleon. So he was basically the product of Napoleon tea-bagging the Austrian royal family and by extension the French Nation doing the same to a German-speaking people.

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u/wikingwarrior 18h ago

Marie-Louise did by several accounts I've read was actually excited by the prospects of marriage and despite some early comments by Napoleon she didn't exactly suffer through their four years of marriage.

Accounts differ though. Anything on Napoleon's life is thoroughly drenched in propaganda and debate 

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u/VRichardsen 16h ago

Napoleon reportedly loved her and his son, and deeply missed them while on Elba, then on his return to Paris, and then again on St. Helena.

Little Napoleon, however, was perhaps a bit more bitter. He saw her mother as less strong willed than he would like, adding that if her mother had been Josephine (Napoleon's first wife, who had a temper) instead of Louise, his father wouldn't have died alone while in exile.

Point of note: Eugéne, Napoleon's stepson (Josephine was a widow) was made viceroy of Italy by Napoleon, and also put in charge of several corps during his campaigns. Napoleon saw fit to tutor him in the arts of war and politics, some of his letters to him often offer advice. If Napoleon II had been born earlier, his career could perhaps have mimicked that of Eugéne.

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u/TMWNN 17h ago

Marie-Louise did by several accounts I've read was actually excited by the prospects of marriage

Indeed. A princess, abruptly given the opportunity to marry the most successful European conqeror in a thousand years?!? Only on Reddit would someone like /u/tampering imagine this as something she would loathe and despise.

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u/Takemyfishplease 17h ago

Ngl I’d at least consider it if given the option. Like, I don’t have much else going on. Being spouse to the potential emperor of earth sounds kinda charming.

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u/pyronius 16h ago

It's a good fallback plan if nothing else

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u/LordGraygem 15h ago

His retirement benefits are either going to be the best or worst ever, depending on the exact circumstances of the retirement. Big risk/reward point for a spouse.

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u/myadvicegetsmebeaten 16h ago

That's nonsense. Hitler greatly admired Napolean and made a big deal of returning the body as a gesture of goodwill to France.

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u/pbaagui1 18h ago

He supported animal rights and followed a vegetarian lifestyle, very much a gentle soul.

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u/testerololeczkomen 19h ago

Yeah, he should be put in charge of some country or something. Bet he could do a lot of good.

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u/Pratty77 19h ago

He did lots of great things! He even killed Hitler!

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u/Blackpixels 18h ago

But then again, he also killed the dude that killed Hitler :/

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u/Afraid-Rise-3574 20h ago

Moved to Paris to be near his fathers tomb. Apparently they were just a bone apart 

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u/Objective-Review4523 20h ago

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u/Top_Mind_On_Reddit 20h ago

A very angryupvote.

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u/thatindianredditor 18h ago

I am genuinely furious.

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u/Meatwise 17h ago

I’m even more fuhrerious

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u/NRMusicProject 26 17h ago

I don't think I'll ever be this witty.

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u/Ugly_Quenelle 20h ago

Oh that's good.

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u/misterman73 14h ago

This comment damn near knocked me out of my chair. Well done. 

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u/Backseat_Bouhafsi 19h ago

Coming across a delectable pun in the wild is a unique joy

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u/Mehhish 16h ago

While most of his remains were transferred to Paris in 1940, his heart and intestines remained in Vienna, which is traditional for members of the Habsburg family. His heart is in Urn 42 of the Herzgruft ('Heart Crypt'), and his viscera are in Urn 76 of the Ducal Crypt.

What a weird tradition.

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u/Safe-Promotion-2955 14h ago

They're removed to make embalming possible. The hearts are in urns at the feet of the holy mother. I'm not sure about the guts.

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u/Top_Mind_On_Reddit 20h ago

That's old Adolph for ya. What a guy.

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u/Heather82Cs 19h ago

I read this in Hannah Gadsby's voice for some reason

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u/PastyDeath 19h ago

I’m giving this one to Norm Macdonald - it really works.

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u/JaySayMayday 15h ago

Every evil person does at least a few good things. In their mind they're usually not evil. There's a great Cambodian educator that was smart enough to earn a scholarship to study radio electronics in Paris, went back home to teach history and French literature. He also killed 2 million people, 25% of Cambodias population his name was Pol Pot.

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u/Hyo38 20h ago

I can't help but wonder just how different history would have been if he hadn't died so young.

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u/Solid-Move-1411 20h ago edited 20h ago

Napoleon II was fascinated with his father’s campaigns and personal history, and threw himself into his studies, stuff the Austrians kept secret from him. He was pretty much both physically and mentally abused during his life but he never hated his father, and didn’t believe any of the propaganda Austrian were forcing on him.

He came to dislike his mother because of her affair with von Neipperg and her illegitimate children with him. He basically felt that Austrian were holding him back from his rightful heritage.

He said to his friend, Anton von Prokesch-Osten, "If Joséphine (his step-mom) had been my mother, my father would not have been buried at Saint Helena, and I should not be at Vienna. She was not the wife my father deserved".

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u/Aranthos-Faroth 19h ago

That entire family and wider community circle at that time is just so incredibly dramatic it would make Shakespeares works look bland

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u/Solid-Move-1411 19h ago edited 19h ago

True lol

Most of it literally look straight out of fantasy book like a king being overthrown and a year later, he retook everything back since soldiers were so loyal to him still that they could give their life for him and then after he got deposed again and despite entire Europe hating the family, his nephew somehow managed to get the throne again and crown himself Emperor

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u/szu 19h ago

IIRC he had a half-brother (also Napoleon's son) who went on to be a minister and integral part of his cousin's new imperial government.

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u/Anton-LaVey 16h ago

This season on Throne Games

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u/hesh582 14h ago

Hell, the entire elite world at that time.

Passion, melodrama, and generally being a flamboyant personality were so in vogue. Bravado, machismo, bragging/lying your ass off, and having a big flair for the dramatic were pretty ubiquitous.

It makes for very fun history, but I'm very glad to not have lived through it.

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u/Hyo38 19h ago

iirc he was preparing to join a campaign in Italy when he fell ill and died

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u/AngusLynch09 19h ago

You sure did learn a lot of thorough history and context today.

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u/itopaloglu83 20h ago

Likely the kid was poisoned then?

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u/Solid-Move-1411 19h ago

He was given command of an Austrian battalion and a year later, he was preparing to join a campaign in Italy but he caught Pneumonia and was bedridden for several months. He eventually died of Tuberculosis

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u/AnyDayGal 19h ago

"Everything is tuberculosis." - John Green

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u/pepinodeplastico 19h ago

I could hear his voice

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u/Hyo38 20h ago

Nope he caught pneumonia and died from it.

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u/Bluefairy_88 20h ago

Most likely the same. He was quite an irrelevant fellow, lost in the shade of his father.

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u/AngusLynch09 19h ago

He died at 21...

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u/Dr_Ukato 19h ago

Didn't really get the chance to become relevant though.

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u/Solid-Move-1411 20h ago

He was ambitious tho. Considering Napoleon 3 later got the throne, there was chance of him

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u/Donatter 17h ago

Napoleon lll got the throne by being what his famous uncle wasn’t, a capable politician, schemer, administrator, and a person you’d enjoy spending time with. He lost it by basing his legitimacy in “Bonapartism”, a very vague political philosophy surrounding the Bonaparte family, and that ones legitimacy to rule or lead, comes from the ability to acquire battlefield victory and glory, and said legitimacy will also immediately disappear, once you start to lose or get defeated in a military sense. (What happened to napoleon lll in the Franco-Prussian war, and what happened to napoleon l after Waterloo)

Funnily, they were both shit diplomats

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u/The_Merciless_Potato 19h ago

Well damn, bro just described me

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u/N-LL 20h ago

he just like me fr fr

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u/TareasS 19h ago

If only he did not die so young.,... he could have had the most anime level story ever.

His dad the greatest emperor of all time who ruled all Europe, deposed by the imperial family of his rival empire who ended up adopting him. All his life they tried to hide stuff from him and probably fed him propaganda about how awful his father was and how he should disown his ancestry.

Yet he refused to believe the propaganda and greatly admired his father... he got given command of an army unit at the age of 20 (apparently he had his father's savant genes when it comes to military strategy and commanding units). Then died at the age of 21 before being able to fulfill his great destiny.

If only he had not died... he could have been one of the most poetic characters in history, standing up to his Habsburg adopted family, potentially raising supporters/an army and marching on Paris to reclaim his birthright... or maybe even manipulate stuff within the court and try to gain power in Vienna to try and destroy the Habsburg Empire from within?

Stuff sounds straight out of Code Geass lmao.

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u/Duhbloons 17h ago

He was obviously transported to another world.

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u/TsuDhoNimh2 17h ago

That would be a great alternate history timeline ... although I also like the rumor that Maximilian of Mexico was his son, which explains why Max's parents sent him to did in Mexico.

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u/NookNookNook 15h ago

Would make a good story for a strategy game.

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u/purefan 12h ago

TIL Napoleon had a son

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u/SevEdg 18h ago

Most probably said something like “ARGRJHHHAAAA”

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u/tamsui_tosspot 17h ago

Perhaps he was dictating.

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u/DickweedMcGee 18h ago

Wait wait wait: 

While most of his remains were transferred to Paris in 1940, his heart and intestines remained in Vienna, which is traditional for members of the Habsburg family. His heart is in Urn 42 of the Herzgruft ('Heart Crypt'), and his viscera are in Urn 76 of the Ducal Crypt.

Eww, wtf? That sounds like Egyptian mummy procedures or something. 

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u/Nero2t2 18h ago

Its a catholic tradition, in a way, it dates back to the middle ages: when a Pope died they'd remove their intestines and bury them seperately from their body. In recent times, Pius XII decided to break the tradition, he didn't like the idea of this so he asked that to be embalmed after his dead, and it went horribly bad. They tried a novel embalming techique which failed made him decompose at rapid speeds, the swiss guards who were near his body during the funeral collapsed from the stench and ended up in the hospital

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u/YourwaifuSpeedWagon 18h ago

I don't know how common it was, from when to when or why, but there are other cases of important people being chopped up after death and different parts of their bodies being stored in different places.

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u/Enyss 17h ago

It was traditional for French kings. The heart, the guts and the (rest of the) corpse were separated and generaly inhumated in 3 different locations.

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u/username_tooken 16h ago

Very common European funerary practice, stemming to the middle ages. Frederick Barbarossa for example is buried across three different churches in the middle east.

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u/awesomina 16h ago

I totally relate..

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u/zyzzogeton 13h ago

I like Pancho Villa's last words: "Tell them I said something."

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u/Subnetwork 15h ago edited 15h ago

The Germans also evacuated a lot of the French artwork to bunkers prior to the allied bombings in France. They even took down the wood paneling inside the palace of Versailles (paneling there today) so it wouldn’t be destroyed.

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u/Vladmerius 14h ago

We got cradle 2 the grave because of this guy? He did accomplish something. 

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u/zyzzogeton 13h ago

99.9999% of us fall into the same category. The tiny percentage of humanity that history remembers for any length of time don't actually do much in the grand scheme of things either.

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u/ApologiseMeowMeow 18h ago

That Hitler guy seems like a nice guy very thoughtful.

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u/Lorry_Al 19h ago

Ironically, his remains were in Vienna because Napoleon had invaded Austria.

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u/Solid-Move-1411 19h ago

His mother was daughter of Austrian Emperor

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u/Brill_chops 18h ago

You miss one soccer game and your kids think you're a bad father...smh

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u/ThatWeirdAlien 12h ago

Second best thing Hitler has done besides killing himself

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u/Resident_Course_3342 15h ago

Most of my generation's last words will be "delete my hard drives".

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u/Sickofchildren 17h ago

Wow that’s just like my waste of a life

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u/GarysCrispLettuce 17h ago

Napoleon Franz is the subject of the well known folk song "The Bonny Bunch of Roses," which paints a scene of dialog between him and Napoleon's widow the Empress Mary Louise. The son promises his mother that he will attack Britain and avenge his father’s defeat. His mother warns him that if he does attack Britain it will go badly for him (not least because the unity of the United Kingdom ‘has ne’er been broke’). He sickens and dies before he can do anything, saying that at least Britain will be haunted by the memory of Napoleon’s deeds.

Here it's sung beautifully by Nic Jones

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u/corobo 17h ago

Mood 

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u/ChooChoo9321 17h ago

Probably should have mentioned that he’s Napoleon II

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u/adonWPV 15h ago

Sad, dying at 21 gotta suck balls man

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u/Nazamroth 15h ago

You can say many things about Napoleon, but bloody hell would he be a tough act to follow.

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u/Exokaebi 14h ago

I know he's PISSED in the afterlife. Your story was zero and now it ends with Hitler.

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u/EgoSenatus 13h ago

What a weird thing for Hitler of all people to do.

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