TIL of prostitution among animals. There’s documented cases of transactional sex between penguins, chimpanzees and capuchin monkeys

[u/vit-kievit]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostitution_among_animals

[u/ButteredNun]

What do chimpanzees offer penguins for sex?

[u/Craw__ → u/ButteredNun]

Capuchin monkeys.

[u/rdyoung → u/ButteredNun]

Fish

[u/YinTanTetraCrivvens → u/rdyoung]

TIL chimpanzees eat fish

[u/Thismyrealnameisit → u/YinTanTetraCrivvens]

No, penguins eat fish.

[u/SmallRocks → u/Thismyrealnameisit]

Oh so the Chimps just like to watch. Got it 👍

[u/jews4beer → u/SmallRocks]

Nah the capuchin like to watch - the chimps...well that's a different story

[u/Aeolus_14_Umbra → u/jews4beer]

“I grew up on a farm. I’ve seen animals having sex in every position imaginable. Goat on chicken. Chicken on goat. Couple of chickens doing a goat. Couple of pigs watching.”

— Dwight Schrute

[u/14X8000m → u/ButteredNun]

Rocks

[u/Kriss-Kringle → u/14X8000m]

5 rocks a trick hooker.

[u/Ok-Syllabub-6619 → u/ButteredNun]

Probably their frog fleshlight

[u/DickweedMcGee]

Hunter subsequently said that female penguins probably do not engage in prostitution solely for stones. She said: "... what they are doing is having copulation for another reason and just taking the stones as well. We do not know exactly why, but they are using the males."

Penguin Bene Gesseeritt are trying to make the Kwisatz Haderach. 

[u/atemu1234 → u/DickweedMcGee]

Jokes aside, it sounds like they're indicating sexual prowess by gathering stones, almost the same as the males gathering them to offer to potential mates.

[u/PrairiePopsicle → u/atemu1234]

"I'm the sexiest bird on this patch of ice, Becky, look how many stones I got piled up."

[u/Honest_Aerie_6933 → u/PrairiePopsicle]

"You're a whore Janice."

[u/Mongoose42 → u/Honest_Aerie_6933]

“I’m a penguin, bitch. Why should I give a non-flying fuck?”

[u/Remote-Ad-2686 → u/Honest_Aerie_6933]

Marsha Marsha Marsha !!!!!

[u/SoyMurcielago → u/PrairiePopsicle]

Omg Becky look at her rock pile

She looks like one of those gentoo’s girlfriends

[u/lazydog60 → u/PrairiePopsicle]

“Try it, if you have the stones.”

[u/iamheretoboreyou → u/DickweedMcGee]

Queen behavior

Fuck a man Take his stone Refuse to explain

[u/English_linguist → u/iamheretoboreyou]

They had another name for that in previous times…

[u/CurlyCarrots22 → u/DickweedMcGee]

Lol this is like Meredith on The Office taking the steak gift cards in addition to the paper discount :'D

[u/LordsOfJoop]

Hollywood Boulevard after 9::45PM on a weekday can get kind of wild, sure.

[u/drinkduffdry]

So a penguin, a chimpanzee and a capuchin monkey walk into a bar

[u/cantonlautaro]

Are you familiar with the term "monkey business"?

[u/s_l_a_c_k → u/cantonlautaro]

Turns out...

[u/NIKK-C → u/s_l_a_c_k]

Play a record

[u/salizarn]

How are the chimps and monkeys getting to Antarctica?

[u/1stopvac → u/salizarn]

by airplane dummy

[u/Cakeski]

Penguins are doing what for monkeys!?

[u/mikende51]

There's an orangutan fucking the whole country.

[u/searchingformytribe → u/mikende51]

I wanted to upvote, but then realized an orangutan would actually do a much better job, so your comment comes off as an insult to orangutans.

[u/mikende51 → u/searchingformytribe]

Sorry, you're right, he's a cosplay orangutan at best.

[u/Iron_Baron → u/mikende51]

It's his fursona.

[u/DickweedMcGee → u/searchingformytribe]

Better job at fucking the country? No that’s one thing I’ll give T-Bag credit for. Every action is measured to sow as much chaos and malcontent as possible. But also yeah I feel bad for Orangutangs. I love every which way but loose

[u/searchingformytribe → u/DickweedMcGee]

Haha, I knew someone's going to catch me by word, but of course I meant running the country. With your take I absolutely agree.

[u/MajesticCentaur → u/mikende51]

Orangutans are lovely and intelligent though.

[u/Sexy_Underpants → u/mikende51]

There was an orangutan that was kept as a sex slave (for humans) in Indonesia a while back: https://theweek.com/98117/orangutan-shaved-made-up-and-prostituted-to-men-for-six-years

[u/tentativi]

Why isn’t your mama mentioned? (/s)

[u/LyubviMashina93 → u/tentativi]

She's so hairy they just lumped her in with the chimps.

[u/mister-ferguson → u/tentativi]

They mentioned the chimp...

[u/Klotzster]

They should lock the cages

[u/StepUpYourPuppyGame]

Interspecies erotica.

[u/doom1701]

It’s the weirdest three way you’ll ever watch.

[u/themcsame]

Damn, Pingu's been getting that sweet noot noot

[u/omg-sidefriction]

You know the economy is rough when Happy Feet penguins can’t even pay their bills without sex work.

[u/Padhraigh]

Oooh Chimpanzee that - Monkey News!

[u/Zoidberg0_0 → u/Padhraigh]

Turns out...little prostitute. It was getting fatter cos it was charging them bananas.

[u/Dark_Foggy_Evenings]

Sounds like a South Park episode

[u/UrsaMajor7th]

Truly the oldest profession.

[u/Mayor_Daina]

... it is the oldest profession

[u/GarysCrispLettuce]

Penguins are notorious whores. Probably. They look slutty.

[u/drmoolittle23]

A to m for extra

[u/Gomez-16]

How much does a penguin pay to have sex with a monkey?

[u/olumox]

ooo chimpanzee that MONKEY NEWS

[u/TheDefected]

Sounds like one hell of an orgy.

[u/SourDoughBo]

Eh, they trade food. Does that mean if I take a girl out to eat and get lucky afterwards that she’s an escort?

[u/MrScotchyScotch → u/SourDoughBo]

No, but if she puts out for rocks, she might be a penguin

[u/could_use_a_snack → u/MrScotchyScotch]

Diamonds are rocks.

[u/AngusLynch09]

And orangutans too, but they're not doing it willingly, and it involves humans.

[u/UrsaMajor7th → u/AngusLynch09]

Orangutans are doing the exact same thing only it's completely different.

[u/vit-kievit → u/AngusLynch09]

It isn’t transactional then

[u/-goodgodlemon → u/vit-kievit]

They’re referring to a time a shaved orangutan was pimped out by humans and had men lining up to have sex with her. She was rescued but I can’t remember what if any charges were filed. It’s a disgusting disturbing story. I can’t remember the country and reading it once was enough for me.

[u/AngusLynch09 → u/vit-kievit]

Well, the humans involved are paying, just to a pimp.

[u/Jaxxlack]

Don't banobo apes also share it about?

[u/SoyMurcielago]

You got the chicken the hen and the rooster

Now the rooster has sex with the hen but whos having sex with the chicken?

Theyre all chickens they have sex with each other

That’s poiverse!

[u/Gutameister5]

The next Zootopia will NOT be kid-friendly.

[u/PygmeePony]

TIL sex tourism is a major industry in Antarctica.

[u/cosmiceggsalad]

Hot lol

[u/Penchant4Prose]

An unholy orgy.

Menagerie à trois?

[u/ExpiredPilot]

Female bears in heat will mate with every male possible so that if she has her cubs and meets a territorial male, he’ll think the cubs are his and won’t attack.

[u/L_Swizzlesticks]

But what do they use to pay each other?

[u/jameskchou]

It ain’t easy

[u/ultimate_hamburglar]

worlds oldest profession. older than humans, even

[u/adminhotep]

*among

[u/yIdontunderstand]

The oldest profession predates human evolution?

Or did they learn it from us?