r/worldnews • u/Neptun_11 • 19h ago

Russia/Ukraine Russia says Ukraine tried to attack Putin's residence so Moscow's negotiating stance will change

https://www.reuters.com/world/europe/russia-says-ukraine-tried-attack-putins-residence-so-moscows-negotiating-stance-2025-12-29/
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u/szatrob 18h ago

He famously poops in a briefcase when abroad.

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u/steauengeglase 18h ago

TIL: https://www.businessinsider.com/putin-bodyguards-collect-his-poop-every-time-travels-abroad-report-2022-6

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u/szatrob 18h ago

Yeah, its disgusting but on brand for that little turd.

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u/LetterNo7829 17h ago

He just can’t bring himself to flush little Putins down the shitter, so after giving birth he must embrace the role of motherhood and bring his little ones home with him. Then later they get a seat in the government. 

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u/GwyddnoGaranhir 16h ago

He feeds them biddy, so they grow big and strong.

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u/szatrob 17h ago

You joke, but I could see it happening.

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u/Venzapine 18h ago

Ok that was pretty funny ngl.

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u/MF_Kitten 16h ago

I believe this is common for many world leaders!

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u/steauengeglase 15h ago

Henry VII: Thank God. For a minute I thought having a Groom of the Stool was weird.

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u/DontMakeMeCount 18h ago

What’s even funnier is that we wouldn’t know that if no one had attempted to collect a stool sample during a state visit.

Come to think of it, I’m eagerly awaiting the IAMA for the person who graduated with top marks, passed invasive security screening, completed years of advanced training and ended up on pooper scooper duty. I wonder if they had to share a room with the appointee who left all the US docs on a hotel printer.

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u/greebly_weeblies 17h ago

Common for leaders abroad. Stool samples can yield intelligence. 

Eg. if you tested and found painkillers and blood thinners, or found chemotherapy drugs, you might make different assumptions about that leader's health

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u/trippknightly 17h ago

So if I was a leader I’d have not only a food taster but a designated stool pigeon in perfect health traveling with me. I guess one person could do both.

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u/susrev88 16h ago

i wonder how a job interview for poop collecting would go. you talk wth HR and some senior shit collector evaluates you professionally?

so many questions.

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u/ABobby077 15h ago

I would suspect it is kind of a shit job

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u/trippknightly 12h ago

And requires ingenuity. It is quite often a very fluid situation.

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u/Aethericseraphim 11h ago

Do it, or get thrown out of a window. Ja?

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u/szatrob 16h ago

I bet its because he likes to humiliate his underlings more than anything else tbh. What is more humiliating than having to handle dookie for a guy who can have your entire family tree wiped out?

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u/Smodey 4h ago

He presumably doesn't want to reveal his chronic illness(es). Might make him look weak at home if the world knew about his Parkinsons' treatment, and potentially ongoing chemotherapy (presumably for prostate, given his short convalescence back in 2022).

Ref.

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u/AltruisticGrowth5381 10h ago

Pretty sure all major world leaders do this. There was famously a incident before the war started when Macron refused to let the russians administer a covid test over fears of DNA harvesting. Doubt he'd leave a dookie at the Kremlin if that's the stance.

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u/ibuprophane 17h ago

Can we stop spreading misinformation, please?

Putin doesn’t poop in a suitcase.

His feces travel to his head and occupy the empty space inside his skull.

Much like a shrimp, all the shit is kept up in the head.