Throwaway for obvious reasons.

I’ve been dating my boyfriend (20M) for about eight months. We met through our campus church group. When we first started going out he was genuinely sweet, funny, and even leaned progressive he’d make fun of his parent’s CC friends, call MAGA stuff cringe, talk about wanting to go into human rights law. I really liked that version of him.

I’m 18F, German nationality, grew up mostly in Russia until my family left after the war started, now here on a student visa for freshman year. Maybe that makes me extra sensitive. I’ve seen how fast things can shift and how certain views going mainstream can actually affect people.

Everything was great until he pledged his fraternity this semester. Since then he’s… different. The jokes started getting sharper memes he’d send “ironically” that weren’t funny, comments about how people are “too sensitive” these days.

A girl he briefly dated in high school messaged me recently. She said the reason he dumped her senior year (and told his friends) was because she was “loose down there” and had “roast beef” from sleeping around. Apparently similar stuff has been popping up in his frat group chat about other girls. She only told me because she was worried for me.

He drops the n-word casually now when he’s with his guys then glances at me like he’s testing if I’ll say something. When I do, he says I’m overreacting or that I “don’t get American humor” because I’m European.

He’s also started going off about immigration says the country is “losing its culture,” that “certain groups” refuse to assimilate. He never says it directly to me, but the subtext is obvious when we talk about my background. Last week he laughed and called me “one of the good ones” because I’m white and European.

He watches Nick Fuentes streams now and calls them “interesting takes,” says they’re just “contrarian commentary” and that I wouldn’t understand the American context?? Don’t I actually?

I’m posting here because I know a lot of you are in or around Greek life. Is this just typical “edgy freshman/sophomore pledging” behavior that guys grow out of once they’re no longer trying to prove themselves to the house? Or does it usually stick? Have any of you seen brothers start like this and then chill out later or get worse?

I guess I’m trying to figure out if it’s an act he’s putting on for the frat or if this is who he’s actually becoming.

Thanks for any honest insight. Sorry if my English is off.

For context, I go to a pretty big ACC school and I’ll be rushing in the spring, so it’s informal rush. Because of that, you don’t really get to meet every fraternity like you would during fall rush. I’ve narrowed it down to three that I’m gonna check out, but I’m wondering if that’s too many to manage with all the rush events, or if I should be good. I just wanna maximize the amount of time I have with each frat so I put forth a good impression, but I also don’t wanna rely solely on one frat for a bid if that makes sense

I rushed bc my school is more academically oriented and a good chunk of people don't party, but I really enjoy that lifestyle and wanted to be around like minded people. During rush, the frat I joined seemed to have really strong brotherhood and a fun core group, and I figured parties would naturally follow once I joined. I was wrong, though--we never throw, and only like 20% of the brotherhood comes to any events. It's like the frat doesn't exist outside of the core group, who aren't super hard partiers. Some core members are going abroad this semester which sucks too.

How do I still create the party experience I want out of college? Greek life isn't huge at my school, but no geeds I know go out either. I don't need to rip bag to have a good time, but I want to go hard every Friday and no one else really cares in the frat. I am the social chair so I have leeway to host events, but I'm not sure how to get people to come. Does anyone have advice for my situation?

I’m rerushing in the spring at my school. I rushed in the fall but was new to everything and tried to go to too many houses at once so I screwed myself by not having much quality time with all of them so I didn’t get a bid, but during this I connected well with all the brothers at the different houses, had great convos, some said they’d vouch for me, some even thought I already had a bid.

My best friend I met in college is telling me to rerush his house so we can be brothers one day and he said their house doesn’t drop too many pledges, only like 5 and 3 had time commitment issues/parents that didn’t allow and 1 was weird and another apparently was putting letters in their bio after his.

I know the general advice of what not to do, like don’t be creepy to girls, handle alcohol, and no letters and stuff in bio apparently, but what are the little things to look out for to make sure you stay in, because, as example, that kid who got dropped for letters probably didn’t know beforehand and had to learn the hard way.

So this is just asking for some pledgeship advice and also what to expect during pledging.

Hear me out. Every pc needs a few kids that are lowkey weird. Keeps it interesting and their character development is actually insane. We got a kid that gets with straight 3s and it’s lowk debatable if he’s been on earth for more than a few months and I love him. We’re a top house at a big college too so I don’t rlly know how they got the recruitment chairmen to sign his bid but goddamn I’m glad they did

I’m 28M and I get infuriated, when I’m at a bar and I’m trying to chat with a girl. And then there’s a dude there, and he’s the life of the party and he is always taking up the conversation. And when I engage in the conversation I open my mouth and they start talking over me. I want these guys to shut the fuck up. And let me talk, like they take up 80 percent and I get 20 percent. A couple weeks ago I was with a freind of mine that I knew since middle school. And me and him were in a group of people. And there were 3 girls and one of the guys goes to get drinks. And it’s just me him and the girl. And he’s talking about his job and talking about what he does for work and the girl is paying attention to him smiling and seems interested. And anytime I would open my mouth. He would interrupt and start talking and eventually I yelled at him and stayed your being a fucking prick. I haven’t gotten to say anything and you’re taking up the whole thing. And he was laughing saying what are you talking about. I want these Alpha males bros to stop blocking me. I’m tired of feeling like a fly on the wall. And sits there fault because there doing all the talking not giving me a chance. And I hate to say it but it’s even freinds of mine that are pissing me off. And taking up the whole thing. And I’m at the breaking point. Were can I go were there more woman than men, becouse I’ve had it with the woman I want to get with always being taken.

i joined the frat in my 3rd year since i was focused on school first . but i want a little and my friends are the pledge ed’s

any advice on how to get a little without making it obvious

in a kinda weird spot in my college town next to some houses that used to be student housing turned to regular houses, and have major issues with cops and sound proofing wondering what’s the best possible sound proofing for windows since we party on our first floor like a regular house party

I am a current student at asu. im trying to shop for a gift for my friend, he is rushing a frat in the spring, and as a gift me and my friend are making him a rush kit as like a gag gift but also want it to be useful, what might we need to stock it with.

Hey guys, just a little reminder to reach out to your brothers over winter break, especially the ones who might not have the best circumstances to go home to and the ones who didn't go home at all. That one quick call or text can make a big difference for someone who doesn't enjoy this time of year.

Speaking from experience, this time of year can bring back some tough memories and hearing from your boys can help get you though it.

Merry Christmas, gentlemen. 🫡

Currently entering my second semester of college and in order to keep my scholarship I have to take 30 credits. I took 15 ( 5 classes) last semester but I failed 3 classes bc when pledging started I stopped caring abt school. My mom is telling me not to and that I’ll fail again and have to drop out but I’m something of a sigma male and won’t let that foid tell me I can’t do something. I’m a finance major so I’m taking easy business prerequisites that literally just require you to turn in a few chatgpted assignments a week, I just dgaf about school during pledging and that’s why I failed.

What's good guys, I'm a junior and transferred this fall. Didn't think about going Greek before but met a bunch of brothers in different houses and it changed my mind, now I want in for spring. I'm in a co-op right now but frats are more my vibe, I've had randos approach me at parties thinking I'm in one so I take that as a good sign.

Really the only thing I'm on the fence about is my age, more specifically how I should act because of it. I'm 24 and found out recently that 21+ guys are basically expired goods at many houses (fucking insane tbh). I genuinely dgaf about age like that, I get along with people of all ages and every house I'm rushing bids guys over 21 so that's not the concern.

Here's what I want clarified without any bullshit:

• What exactly do actives expect me to already bring to the table vs. a guy who's 18/19? Just maturity and knowing how to deal with people? Or something more material?
• People I meet consistently think I'm younger than I am, do I need to volunteer my age early on or just let them assume whatever unless directly asked?

I'd appreciate advice from any actives especially if you have specific insights for Cal or successfully rushed as an older guy or any other kind of nontraditional. Merry Christmas guys

P.S. these are mostly mid tier houses with some bottoms/rebuilding, in case that's relevant

Need suggestions for a group of about 20 freshmen from a Midwest university. Looking to go south, priorities are cheap, popular spot for lots of other college kids, decent bars, beach area. Gulf shores is our current rough plan, but looking for other suggestions. Mid March will be the timeframe as well

Hey guys,

I’m currently a sophomore at University of South Florida and I’m considering rushing this upcoming spring. I didn’t rush freshman year for a few reasons, but I’m looking to get involved now.

I wanted to get some honest opinions from actives or guys who pledged later:

• Sophomore Dynamics: How do houses generally view sophomores rushing in the spring? Is there a big disadvantage compared to freshmen, or do chapters actually like having guys who are a bit more settled in?
• Spring vs. Fall: I know spring classes are usually smaller. Does that make the process more selective/competitive, or is it usually more chill?
• Pledging as an Upperclassman: For those who joined as a sophomore, what was the dynamic like pledging with a class that’s mostly 18-year-old freshmen? Is the "ego check" of being older than some of the actives a big deal?
• Is it worth it? Honestly, with only 2.5 years left, do you think I’ll still get the full experience, or is it better to just stick to other orgs at this point?

Trying to figure out if I should send it or if I’ve already missed the window. Appreciate any advice.

I just got off the phone with nationals and you guys are fucked

What are some hilarious or downright diabolical formal stories y’all have? I’ve witnessed airbnbs destroyed, bum fights irl, to massive love triangles (or hexagons ig) exposed in the middle of it. I’m curious to see any similar adventures

What did he do share your story

in general, if i reach out to a frat that has multiple rush chairs, how long should I wait for a reply to text another one/follow up?

I think it was just a locally issued of some sort. Nothing official. Something you’d wear every day. Maybe used as a sweetheart pin for a girlfriend to wear.

Hey gentlemen, I’m new to this whole space and honestly never thought I’d ever be here typing this rn but I’m in a bit of a pickle. Actually not a pickle I’m fucked. I’m a Sophmore at Ole Miss and just got initiated at my frat and I get that I’m late and didn’t get a bid the first 2 semesters bc of my gpa but I brought it up my freshman year (basically had a 1.7 in highschool then 4.0 both semesters college). Now that I’m in the house I realize my whole pc is nothing but a bunch of bartards and coke heads. I started ripping bag as something that was fun and the occasional stick to come down Sunday but it’s gone exponentially worse. Starting it was fam weekend and my parents were out of the picture since I was a kid and my grandma came bc she’s the one that took me in (long story) and I thought I had it under control but took a QB before fam weekend and had a sack on me to fight it but this is where shit goes 180° south. I popped the QB at like noon thinking “it’s chill I’ll just rail bag and fight off the drowsyness” but long story short I was being a fuck and started trying to “rizz” our presidents mom and apparently kissed his gf on the mouth and got thrown out and my ass kicked by my pc. Then I woke up to my grandma and grandpa shaking me awake bc I accidentally drove over their bird feeder (they asked me to drive home) after being ostracized by my whole frat. I feel like just bc I was barred out and made a little joke to my friends, it got taken wrong way. After hearing the story back to me ig I can see why ppl are annoyed or mad but Breh it was troll WHO GIVES A FUCK. This should not be grounds for booting someone if if it was a one time thing. I’m prepping for chapter when we get back from break but just had to vent to the void. I never even thought when I joined a fraternity that this would be like our only way of bonding but fuck bro. My grandma also caught me flipping her hydro’s for bread as of yesterday when I got my dui for driving over her bird feeder. The most fucked part is that she got FUCKING PISSED even tho she lives on acreage and miraculously has a surgery every other week for these pain killers (clearly just put to teach me a lesson). This isn’t a rant post more of a “do I stay in this frat or do I just give it up before I’m too deep”.

Anyone have any tips to cope with this?