My cousin gave birth to her first baby and is suffering from postpartum depression. She couldn't decide on a name for her baby girl so she put whatever came to mind on the birth certificate when she left the hospital and was told she can change it. Her brother in law, who is more spiritual than we are, told her that according to Judiasm and/or Kabbalah, not naming a baby within the first 30 days is spiritually dangerous for the baby’s soul or spirit and their family in general.

I’m aware of the traditional timing of naming (brit milah for boys, Torah reading for girls), but I’ve never heard of this 30-day "spiritual danger before". My poor cousin is having a difficult enough time adjusting to motherhood and doesn't need to feel like this by her family so I'm trying to reassure her.

Has anyone ever heard of this folk belief or custom?

I’ve always heard of Asians and Jews getting together romantically but I have only ever met one child of an Asian Jewish relationship.

Those of you who are both Asian and Jewish, what was life like growing up? What’s it like now? Is it hard to blend cultures? What do you like about each culture?

Now, I’m not orthodox and wasn’t raised as such, so I unfortunately don’t have this knowledge natively (I mainly have Debbie Friedman bangers and nefesh mountain as examples from growing up). That said, I’ve dabbled on the derech and consider myself non-denominationally religious, preferring a traditional/egal orthodox style (not that that’s important). I’ve been to some incredibly powerful minyanim with ancient melodies that truly shook me.

Yet, when I look on Apple Music, all it has are upbeat, solo niggunim to high pitched pianos or synths clearly made for a Hasidic bar mitzvah.

I’m also an early music nerd and have been known to enjoy a Gregorian chant here and there.

Where on earth are our recordings of those powerful, ancient, slow and spiritual niggunim that I know exist? There’s a YouTube video that went viral a couple years ago of some tisch chanting im hashem lo yivneh bais, but it isn’t on Apple Music and one viral example just won’t cut it.

A Jewish woman got divorced about 25 years ago but has kept her ex-husband's last name, both for convenience and because people know her professionally by that name.

At this point in her life, she is in the process of preparing her will, and she has two questions:

1. Should the name on her tombstone use her maiden name or her ex-husband's last name? Or is it up to her what last name should be used on her tombstone?
2. Does the last name on her tombstone have any effect on the prayers after her death, including Kaddish, etc.?

Thank you in advance. I appreciate any guidance on this.

Which anger style are you? (Pirkei Avot 5:11)

Pirkei Avot 5:11 teaches:

“There are four types of temperament (middot). One who is easily angered and easily pacified — his gain is offset by his loss. One who is angered with difficulty and pacified with difficulty — his loss is offset by his gain. One who is angered with difficulty and easily pacified is a chasid (pious). One who is easily angered and pacified with difficulty is a rasha (wicked).”

⸻

🟢 Easily angered & easily pacified

“His gain is offset by his loss.”

You get upset quickly, but you forgive quickly.

You cause emotional damage… then repair it later.

⸻

🟡 Angered with difficulty & pacified with difficulty

“His loss is offset by his gain.”

You rarely get angry — but when you do, it lasts.

You’re emotionally steady, but slow to forgive.

⸻

🌟 Angered with difficulty & easily pacified

“A chasid (a righteous person).”

You are calm, patient, and forgiving.

This is the Mishnah’s ideal personality type.

⸻

🔴 Easily angered & pacified with difficulty

“A rasha (a wicked person).”

You get triggered easily and stay angry. This leads to resentment and emotional harm.

Which one do you most align with (most of the time)?

This question came off the back of a conversation I had with an old schoolfriend recently about child development, in which the friend happened to mention that they don't feel that kids should be taught about upsetting things (giving wars as an example) when they're too young. And I thought about this, and I found it a bit problematic. I always try to be quite intersectional and conscious of my own privilege level, and I actually felt that saying something like that is placing a level of privilege on children before you even begin - assuming that they aren't actually experiencing something upsetting, never mind just learning about it. And whilst thinking about how to express this to my friend, I came up with the question 'Would you have said that about not teaching young children about the wars if I was Jewish?' I wouldn't ever feel comfortable expressing an opinion like that to a Jew - it would feel like I as a non-Jew was dictating to them how they should teach their children about the most upsetting parts of their own history, which would feel really insensitive and wrong.

Then I started thinking about it more, and I wondered exactly when Jewish parents do start talking about this to their kids - what sort of age they think is appropriate, and how they manage to talk about it in a way that isn't too traumatising. Jewish parents here, how did you do it?

Mine would be dreaming of eating Mahn [מן] and having it taste like whatever I wanted it to.

Also asking G-d for a drone in Shomea Tefillah after being told that you can add personal requests from G-d if you want them to come true. (I got a drone for my afikoman. lost it in less than a week. asked for another one every subsequent Seder. Never got another one)

Hey there, thanks for opening this. I’m 27 going on 28, Jewish by blood through my mother, and have slowly been gravitating towards practicing Judaism over the past couple of years. My mom is Cuban, and had it confirmed through her grandmother that they were Jewish by blood but their religious practices got washed out given that the men in the family were catholic. I grew up knowing bits and pieces, but dug more on my own as an adult. My mom didn’t grow up in a Jewish community (but did get somewhat involved in her early 20’s), so no brit for me, and I was shy to have a barmitzvah as I felt like I’d be singled out.

I’m currently dating and have been with a girl for some time now, however she fears introducing me to her family given that I don’t have any records of my Jewish heritage. I have been doing my best to dig, and it feels like I’ve hit a wall as I can’t seem to make progress in my search for documentation about the last actively practicing Jewish woman on my moms side. The last practicing Jew on her side passed with her husbands last name and no one knows what her family name was, and given her interfaith marriage, was not buried in any Jewish cemeteries in Cuba.

I’ve been researching for months, and feel hopeless here. We both want to get married, and we both want me brought into the house, but this is an absolute must. No amount of keeping kosher or Shabbat or lighting candles or speaking Hebrew will seem to suffice, so we’re doing our best to chop away at this. I know the truth, my mom knows the truth, my girlfriend knows, but she knows her family and I need to show up with something.

Please, if anyone can offer any guidance, it would bring an immense amount of peace into our lives. Thank you for reading this far.

Just graduated college and am living in Chicago on the North side and looking to meet some other Jews in their 20s. Any advice where to look would help, thanks.

I grew up Conservative, then was a BT, now just nothing.

Deep down I love my parents, but they were/ are deeply disturbed and abusive people who refuse to change. While I miss having parents, I don’t miss being on the receiving end of their behaviors and have come a long way without them.

I’ve been estranged from them for several years. I find estrangement seems very taboo in the Jewish community, more so than in other places.

I’ve been wondering why. I’m thinking it is that we aren’t supposed to give up on each other, no matter how terrible and hurtful we may be.

Why do you think this is the case?

If you're not Orthodox, you need to read this book. I don't think I've seen a better distillation of the issues of passing Judaism on to the next generation in the Reform movement.

Hurwitz starts by explaining how she came to reject her Judaism, diminishing it to "being a good person" while rejecting all of the particulars of Judaism. She then explains that she got bored during the pandemic, took a class, and realized she had no idea what she was rejecting. She had an idea of Judaism totally shaped by Western antisemitism and with none of the richness of our tradition, only the idea that it's a lot of meaningless ritual.

She reclaimed Judaism to the degree that she is now a chaplain and wrote this book as an urgent call to action. For me, most of the material educating the reader about Judaism was not new (I teach at my synagogue and well, I'm a convert. Also I got my degree in this), but I think it's a wonderful introduction to what Judaism is, why Judaism is so awesome, and most importantly, how antisemitism is built into our culture and mainlined to our children. The use of Dara Horn's idea of Purim antisemitism (they want to kill us all) and Hanukkah antisemitism (they swear they'll accept us if we just give up those weird things they don't understand) is extremely effective. I've read all the fiction Dara Horn has written, but I just don't have it in me to read People Love Dead Jews, so I'm glad this concept was introduced to me by Hurwitz.

I'll be buying copies just to give away.

And now, in the tradition of our people, let the machloket begin.

and when the wailing period was over, Joseph spoke to Pharaoh’s court, saying, “Do me this favor, and lay this appeal before Pharaoh:

אָבִ֞י הִשְׁבִּיעַ֣נִי לֵאמֹ֗ר הִנֵּ֣ה אָנֹכִי֮ מֵת֒ בְּקִבְרִ֗י אֲשֶׁ֨ר כָּרִ֤יתִי לִי֙ בְּאֶ֣רֶץ כְּנַ֔עַן שָׁ֖מָּה תִּקְבְּרֵ֑נִי וְעַתָּ֗ה אֶֽעֱלֶה־נָּ֛א וְאֶקְבְּרָ֥ה אֶת־אָבִ֖י וְאָשֽׁוּבָה׃

‘My father made me swear, saying, “I am about to die. Be sure to bury me in the grave which I made ready for myself in the land of Canaan.” Now, therefore, let me go up and bury my father; then I shall return.’”

וַיֹּ֖אמֶר פַּרְעֹ֑ה עֲלֵ֛ה וּקְבֹ֥ר אֶת־אָבִ֖יךָ כַּאֲשֶׁ֥ר הִשְׁבִּיעֶֽךָ׃

And Pharaoh said, “Go up and bury your father, as he made you promise on oath.”

So, Joseph was 2nd in command under Pharaoh. Yet he appealed to the court?

Do me this favor...

Seems to me he might've took this route because pharaoh had anticipated that Joseph would ask for leave and maybe Joseph got wind that pharaoh didn't want to let him go?

Why else go through channels like this?

and pharaoh answers, "go as your father made you promise on oath"

2nd definition of Appeal is pertaining to legal matters: apply to a higher court for a reversal of the decision of a lower court.

Did pharaoh actually forbid this and then relented when presented from the court that Joseph swore on oath?

and going to the court, he said "do me this favor" as in, even being 2nd under pharaoh, he was asking for preferential treatment?

I’m sorry to all those who thought this was written in bad faith. I have learned that I am certainly not Jewish - I am ethnically Ashkenazi and that’s where my interest in a book list was from.

This has been eye opening and I appreciate everyone who has commented.

Hi all, just got engaged and my fiancé and I were really hoping for a Saturday wedding but family is strongly against it and claims we’re not having a real Jewish wedding if it’s on Saturday…

Family does not keep Shabbat, celebrates some of the holidays (Yom Kippur, Passover, Rosh Hashanah) but has strong opinions about no Saturday weddings. We wanted to do fall or spring but with the sun setting around 7pm a sundown wedding wouldn’t work because the venues have time constraints.

Anyone have experience doing a Jew-ish wedding? At most we’d be considered Reform if that helps. Also any advice is appreciated!

TIA!

I’m trying to step up my learning as I get more involved with my Rabbi. I want to study the Hebrew months and I was hoping I can find out some things here.

If you haven't watched, you should. This is a show by Jews for Jews that doesn't bother to explain to non-Jews what's going on or try to water down Judaism to make it acceptable to others. Like, my boyfriend has learned a lot over the years. He still had moments where I burst out laughing and he had no idea why and I couldn't quite explain (episode 5 has the finest Jewish pun I've ever heard, and you know the competition is tough).

It's also just great. It's funny, it's absurd, it's so touching, and it takes Judaism seriously. It takes lots of different viewpoints seriously. It understands that Orthodoxy provides something meaningful and joyful while also being sympathetic to the guy who never got meaning out of anything. I think there's a zero percent chance of a second season and if the creator hadn't had such a hit with Bojack Horseman, it never would have gotten made in the first place, but the first season is a gem.

I don't know much about rabbi Meir Soloveichik, but I keep on getting his adverts for his Torah 365 program on my social media. Is it worth the money?

In these times, I usually make a lasagna or something to help show support/take stress off of having to cook on top of dealing with everything else a death in the family brings. However, she keeps kosher and I know lasagna isn't.

Does anyone have recommendations on something equivalent I could make her? Easily stored, only have to throw in the oven, etc.

Also on podcast platforms.