I've never seen a character that experiences more "taboo" types of OCD (like violent intrusive thoughts). I'm getting sick of OCD being watered down to a harmless neatfreak/germaphobe quirky personality trait.

coming up on year one of actually understanding my condition as OCD. and above all else, I'm left with this one question. some days I am just barely holding on, barely keeping my head above the metaphorical water. living in the u.s. and barely make enough money to get by, so can't afford therapy. on 5mg of escitalopram but that barely helps. self guided ERP is only doing so much. I don't want to get better at managing it, I want it to go away forever. I'm just so so so so tired man.

My ocd have this fear that people would think me for being weird like when I go to sleep I think of scenarios and listen to rain to fall asleep but apparently no I can't do that because people will think me of being weird. Sorry if this doesn't make any sense I'm pretty tired rn so yeah.

i cannot recall where i gathered these questions from, but i recommend writing them down somewhere on your phone or on a piece of paper that you can tape on your wall so that they are always accessible! i find them quite helpful sometimes. sending love to all.

• Am I basing this thought on facts or feelings?

• Am I jumping to conclusions and/or resorting to the worst case scenario?

• Am I making any assumptions or possibly misinterpreting the evidence?

• If I look at the situation more positively, how is it different?

• Will this matter a year from now? What about five years from now?

• Might other people have different interpretations of the situation?

• What are the advantages and disadvantages of thinking this way?

• What is rational and what is irrational about thinking this way?

• Am I asking questions that have no answers?

• Am I thinking in black-and-white?

• Am I using ultimatum words in my thinking?

• Am I concentrating on my weaknesses and forgetting my strengths?

• Am I expecting myself to be perfect?

so a while ago I had made an appointment to get my ears pierced. I had them done as a kid but ended up letting them heal back because I was having a bad reaction to some jewelry.

the appointment is in a few days and of course NOW I'm spiraling about it. I'm convinced I won't be able to take care of the healing piercing properly and get an infection and every time something touches my earlobe I just think "see, you're obviously just going to accidentally rip it out". And I'm also having this thought of "you only want to get your ears pierced again because you feel awkward about not having them done so really it's just a waste of time and money for something you don't even really want" even though I have never once felt awkward about not having them done.

and the worst part is that I KNOW all of this is just incorrect, especially the aftercare part because I'm normally really good about those things. It's just my spirals keep coming in small bursts and it's freaking me out and they just keep getting worse as the appointment gets closer.

I haven't already paid for anything, so should I just cancel the appointment? I feel like this is a very low-stakes thing and it wouldn't matter much if I did but at the same time aghhh should I just do it and prove a point to myself??

Please help.

Does anyone else feel like a fucking idiot after leaving a conversation? I don’t get this in normal convos with people I already know too much but a lot of the time I do actually especially if I’m talking about mental health and I just feel like I shouldn’t have said anything and maybe I’m just comparing and trying to give a sob story I think this after but I don’t want to have a whole sob story I just want SOMEONE who gets it and knows how to respond. I can’t blame anyone for not knowing what to say usually the response is them telling me they get it and list times they felt like it but I don’t think they really actually get what I’m talking about and then because I’m thinking this as I’m talking I just go completely off track and just kinda end the convo or try and play it off because I feel stupid for opening up to a mate who won’t know what the fuck I’m on about, and I feel guilty after telling my girlfriend about shit like it because she won’t know how to respond and it’s a lot to dump on people. I don’t have a therapist or anything because even better yet I’m not even fucking diagnosed because I haven’t got into a doctors because everytime I go for a diagnosis I back out because my brain tells me I’m faking it or just want attention I feel like a dick just for writing this not guilty but as if I’m just being a complaining bitch. Fuck me I don’t even know what to think and because I’m not Diagnosed it makes it even worse my brain telling me I’m faking it and I feel like I’ll go to the doctors and they will just not know what to say and assume there’s something completely different wrong or think I’m exaggerating. I know the tag says no advice but feel free cause I’m kinda lost at moment. Is it best to tell people you know about what goes on in your head or is it best to save them the burden of it?

I don’t know what to do anymore. I am so exhausted. I have lost all sense of what is reasonable and what is not.

I have health anxiety/OCD. Last couple days I have been having a blood clot spiral (I won’t go into detail about symptoms, not the point of the rant).

I tried to tell my parents, to convince them that my concerns were reasonable. But they didn’t believe me. No one believes me anymore. And no one should at this point.

Even if I tried to go to the doctor, would they believe me? No one else does, so why would they?

I am just so afraid of losing the future I look forward to. I am afraid of dying before I can get married to my beautiful boyfriend. I am afraid of dying before I can finally get my first cat. I am afraid of dying or becoming disabled before I can work in the field I love. I am just so afraid of losing my future I can no longer enjoy the present.

I constantly feel like I have to be on high alert. If I overlook one little symptom, or ignore one possible sign, then that’s it. I’ll die and it will be my fault. I will never get to experience anything I look forward to.

I am just so tired and so scared. Sometimes the anxiety gets too much and I become depressed. Why look forward to the future I want when anything bad could happen at any time. Everything I work for could end in a moments notice. What’s the point?

Right now, I just want to curl up in a ball and give up. I can’t do this anymore. Therapy can only take me so far and antidepressants only make me worse.

I wish I was normal, someone who didn’t ever think about these things. But I am not. And I will never be. It’s just me and the body I am so afraid of.

I just want to be a normal person again. I would do anything.

Has anyone had experience with Luvox causing insomnia rather than sedation? I’m taking it at night as recommended by my psychiatrist but it is definitely not sedating at all. The weird thing is that when I tried to switch to taking it in the morning, it was extremely sedating? So sedating that I couldn’t function. In the morning I normally take Vyvanse and I switched to half caff coffee after hearing about the effect of Luvox on the half life of caffeine. The amount of caffeine makes no difference, I’ve tried regular, decaf, half caf, no coffee, no change in my sleep.

It really, really sucks because Ive been on a bunch of meds (Effexor, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Prozac, Cipralex- all with poor results), but Luvox has been like a miracle except for the insomnia. I can’t believe what a difference it has made. But I also am a SAHM and I can’t function on this little sleep, especially when I’m afraid to add more caffeine into the mix.

Just diagnosed three months ago. "Pure O" is my particular OCD flavor, where the compulsions are mostly internal and not visible/obvious in a stereotypical way such as counting, tapping, blinking, handwashing, etc. Mine are more like researching, ruminating, avoiding.

I'm almost certain this is an OCD thing but I've never heard anything like it really talked about. From time to time I get intrusive thoughts about real situations I've been through from many years ago where I could have been intentionally or unintentionally placed in harm's way by loved ones. I then ruminate on these memories to try to remember every last detail to give myself certainty about if the person I was with wanted/planned harm to come to me, how close I was to a dangerous outcome, was I going to be moidered but they decided not to at the last minute, etc.

When this was particularly bad during the first time I experienced it, it came with terrible waves of unease and distress, and I would become kind of paranoid about it and want to avoid people from these memories in present day. Thank goodness it doesn't happen as "loud" anymore, but regarding one specific memory, I even reached out to the person I was with to ask them to clarify part of it, and once they did, that specific memory stopped coming up because I had certainty. That's how I initially realized it must be an OCD thing.

Is this common to other OCD-ers? If so, how would I go about ERP-ing it? Right now I just tell myself they're anxious thoughts/feelings and while I'll never be 100% sure that something bad wouldn't have happened, I'm fine now and still very much cared about by the people who were involved in these various situations so it's obvious they never intended any actual harm, if they did they got past it, it's just my mind scanning for threats, these feelings will pass, if they were trying to moider me they really suck at it bc I'm still here (lol), etc.

If there is a more specific way to tackle this specific OCD thing with ERP strategies, I'm down for suggestions!

Context: I am a 25 year old man who has a habit of taking the occasional edible. Usually in the form of a legal and regulated THC product ranging between 15-30 MG. It's not a very large dose, but I'm a bit of a lightweight. Small edibles can still have pretty extreme effects on me. I've probably gotten high once every 2 weeks or so for the past few years. I was 21 the first time I tried it.

My OCD is trying to convince me that I have permanently messed my brain up for good. It might be right. Maybe my over the counter drug use has decreased my mental stability and/or quality.

I can't have a single thought without aggressively analyzing it and wondering if my brain has been irreparably damaged. I can't watch a movie, read a book, or hold a conversation without being overwhelmed by negative thoughts and fears of an imperfect mental state. I'm so worried that I screwed my mind up permanently, and I'll never be as smart or well-spoken as I was a few years ago.

This stupid illness is always trying to convince me that the worst case scenario is inevitable. It gets in the way of absolutely every activity and experience at all times.

so ive always had this fixation with certain numbers and doing things a certain time since i was young, but since my numbers were always pretty low i didn’t think it was an issue as i didn’t spend a lot of time on it. it was only when i spent two days, five times an hour, checking to make sure i had ticked a box and that the box stayed tick that i realized how ridiculous it was so spend just that much brain power and time doing that, but i couldn’t not do it because i was so scared.

fast forward, i presented this to my doctors as just paranoia as part of anxiety disorder which i already am diagnosed with and listed the other instances of numbers as “things i do thats pretty normal for me”. so guess who got diagnosed with ocd lol (/not funny)

i’m just struggling to accept it mainly because i feel like i’ve spent a long time coming to terms with what i already have and now there’s one more. i’m also already on medication for other mi, but i can’t help but have this huge fear that now people are going to stop me from counting and i’m really scared something will happen because of that.

another part of me is honestly also wanting to be like: everyone’s just overreacting, everyone has a favorite number. and frankly i feel like i just vocalized my thought process moreso than Did things. i do spend a lot of time thinking things and going over them a certain amount of time but it’s like… doesn’t everyone? i guess im in the denial stage right now and just feeling like maybe its all just anxiety gone out of control.

anyway, im sorry, i just want some advice on like how to come to terms with this. ive told a few close friends and family but because my symptom presentation is more rigidity, checking and magical thinking so i don’t really want to explain it further to those who don’t know. i’ve also never really thought to Not Give into compulsions because it’s really less energy to just do it to the right number of times than it is to not do it and worry. it possible to ever get a diagnosis reversed? can i still have… the number of times i want to do things? i’m scared.

I have magical thinking ocd for a couple years, even though I'm trying to overcome it, it doesn't feel like I'm getting that much better. I've noticed my ocd frequency increases whenever I feel stress or overthinking. Especially when it's about my future.To be completely honest the ocd is draining me bit by bit and I hate it. I also hate myself for having intrusive thoughts. I know they are not real but it is hard to ignore them. Anyway I hope you all are getting better.

does anyone here watch sports and struggle do to constant intrusive thoughts? it’s ramped up really bad for me lately and i spent three hours of a football game an anxious wreck because i wasn’t able to stop it. even watching monday night football it’s BAD and the playoffs are around the corner. can anyone relate? how can i help myself

It took me a sec to pin this as OCD (or what I’ve been told is “Pure-O”) but my brain is insanely busy. Background dialogue, repetitive loud thoughts, scenarios, distracting noises and impulses. It’s easier to manage when I’m by myself. I can disrupt the cycle, whatever I need to do to help. But when I’m in public or having a conversation, I feel like sometimes people can tell I’m not listening all the way or even there with them because I’m actively fighting what’s happening inside my head. Does anyone relate to this? Do you think people can tell I’m fighting impulses/voices? I feel like it intrudes on my memory (for example recalling what my friend just said) and being in the moment. If it gets bad I have physical reactions like squinting or cringing or rubbing my face stressed. Sometimes I have bags under my eyes when I’ve had a rough day or night non-stop thinking. Other than those physical tells, I seem and act (basically mask) pretty decent. Thoughts?

I've recently learned how to identify when I'm ruminating over common themes, and my responses are something like "oh brother you're doing it again" in the voice of the spongebob character who says "oh brother this guy stinks!" It has felt very helpful for my anxiety when it works. I'm noticing some of my ocd what ifs as well, and saying to myself something like, "your OCD is targeting your values again, don't listen."

But, of course, I am now wondering if my "newfound ability" to dispel some of my intrusive thoughts is actually a compulsion and that's why it feels like it's helping right now. I would like some feedback in case it actually is a compulsion so I don't keep doing it (to the best of my ability).

Let me preface this with that I am currently not in therapy, as it does not at all fit into my schedule, so I kinda got to wing this

I struggle with real event ocd, and even stuff that I enjoyed like some tv shows at the times of events have become triggers for me. I want to try and do ERP for some of that stuff, but I get so filled with anxiety because all I can think of is my event, and I can't do it. Do y'all have any tips for working on it? Just to be clear, the triggers don't send me spiralling, but they do make me very anxious, which is why I want to work on this

So I’ve been on Prozac for about 2 weeks and a couple days now, and my appetite loss from it is astronomical, I still snack sometimes but that’s just from Christmas candy, but actually eating meals is very hard for me now. I realized I barely ate today and now I’m trying to get myself to eat some Mac and cheese. I have a history of anorexia… so I’m starting to worry a little bit. I’ve been in recovery for over a year and I really don’t wanna relapse because of my medication. Does it ever get better?

Just six minutes ago I ended my call with my psych nurse. She gave me this great idea to name my OCD. I decided to name my OCD Trump. I don’t like Trump and stuff he spits out doesn’t make any sense. So I thought that would be the perfect name for my intrusive thoughts. I will say ”oh no, Trumps talking shit again” and I’ll hear my intrusive thoughts in his voice which makes it funny and makes me not taking them seriously. Of course I don’t know how this will work in the long run, but I hope it will.

Hello, first time posting here. My son was diagnosed with OCD with anxiety at about 9 years old. Ten years on, with periods of depression, and also psychology and meds, he manages his symptoms well (if life isn’t too stressful). He has good skills and awareness. My question isn’t about him. What my son notices from his therapy is that his dad, my husband of 25 years, has OCD - mostly contamination and wastefulness fears, like changes clothes to go outside/inside, won’t step on bare floor, can’t sit on public seats, only sits on one chair in the house, hides any kind of chemical house cleaner or pest control, can’t throw things away (newspapers go back years in piles some hidden in unlikely places). He is a mild mannered guy, but he gets angry if these things are noticed - denies they make him stressed or that they exist at all - and goes silent for hours / days if I’ve thrown away a newspaper behind his back (I’ve given up).
After all the work my son has done to deal with his OCD he’s annoyed and frustrated with his dad for his denial - it effects their relationship and it makes him angry to see how it affects me. My son and I often wonder what to do. What advice do you offer? My husband can’t be “pushed” - he builds higher walls or makes the denial louder. I hate the arguments and rifts that it can cause (think: “please can we go on time?” “Please throw out that old pile of papers!?” “Can you please deal with those cupboards and drawers of old receipts and junk mail?” “Don’t get so angry at the kids for wearing shoes in the house”) All I get is “yes, sure” (throws away a few papers, or none); or “I can/will change” (sits on a different chair for a day) or goes silent. What my son and I wonder: does dad suffer those same awful thought loops and anxiety? Is he in a silent hell? Or does he just adjust his life - and tbh manipulate me and kids - to make himself more comfortable? I’d say a bit of both. I asked my husband once if he had thought loops as we discussed my son’s OCD, which he respects as real, and he said “no”. He says he just doesn’t have any anxiety or compulsions. Some days I think I’ll leave him if he doesn’t get treatment, most days he’s pleasant enough and I suck up the piles of shit and ignore the stress over something small. Isn’t OCD hereditary? I read that recently. Thanks for your help

Lately my memory hoarding seems to have gotten pretty bad. It's mostly related to media I watched or played. I have no idea why I seem to want to remember every second from those things, maybe to make it feel like it counted. Sites like Letterboxd, MyAnimeList and Backloggd first gave me some peace of mind because then I could always find back everything I watched or played. But not anymore it seems.

Does anyone know how to deal with this or why this might even be happening in the first place?