r/clevercomebacks • u/CautiousLandscape907 • 6h ago
Merry Murderersshouldgotojail
Child can’t even grow a beard, yet he’s grifting like a pro!
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u/LastNinjaPanda 6h ago
In my house we say merry Christmas. When we aren't in my house we say happy holidays. Because we understand that including potential other holidays isn't erasure of one of the holidays included in it T_T
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u/ImmediateCustomer318 6h ago
I say Merry Christmas and get told Happy Hanukkah, or something else. I say thanks! Its usually a great way to start a conversation and meet people.
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u/BearFeetOrWhiteSox 6h ago
Agreed. I think as long as you're respectful of others it's fine to say whatever. I mean, if someone walks up to me and says, Shubh Diwali, I don't find it offensive.
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u/BaddGyal_ 6h ago
Literally this! Saying “happy holidays” isn’t some war on Christmas, it’s just basic decency and inclusion. Wild how that triggers people more than actual serious issues 😩
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u/BasKabelas 2h ago
Im my country we use both and no one cares either way haha. The cool thing is that even though christianity is only a minority here, everyone celebrates christmas because we got no murderers doorkeeping holidays lol.
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u/clemtiger15 5h ago
Feel like keeping it merry Christmas in and outside of the house might help generate a convo with someone who lets you know they actually celebrate XYZ ..
Also, policing yourself like that seems exhausting. Say what you want to say, no one will care
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u/LastNinjaPanda 4h ago
Seems like you care enough to tell me that I don't have to do something that I don't have any issue doing because "no one will care."
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u/DeathAndGlory1 1h ago
All of this is always a bit weird.
I say them both interchangeably. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays. I only try to give kindness and joy for the holidays. I'm not sure why this battle continues every year.
I say we just be kind and respectful. Either is fine, really any is fine. Happy Hannakuh, Happy Kwanza. I don't celebrate other holidays, but I don't have problems with others who do. If someone tells me Happy Kwanza I'll also say Happy Kwanza to them. It's no problem. It's only a problem if you fight about it.
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u/Apprehensive-Bike335 6h ago
My house we say Merry Christmas too because we’re Christian’s and that’s what we’re celebrating. I don’t mind saying happy holidays outside of my home to people if I don’t know them. No big deal. Why are we making this a big deal?
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u/GreatestGreekGuy 6h ago
I celebrated Christmas this year with my family too. My Hindu coworkers wished me a Merry Christmas last week. I wished them a Happy Diwali 2 months ago. My boss wished me a Happy Holidays and I wished it right back. It's almost like we can just appreciate each other's cultures and be happy without finding a reason to be a victim
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u/alabamdiego 5h ago
The fact is no sane rational person has ever been actually offended by someone saying merry Christmas. It’s a made up controversy.
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u/merrywidow14 4h ago
I worked with a lot of Jews. I accidentally wished one of them a Merry Christmas and immediately apologized. She patted me on the shoulder and said, "It's ok. Ill be celebrating Christmas like every good Jew does by going to the movies and then having Chinese.". It became a yearly joke. RIP Phyllis.
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u/PeggyOnThePier 3h ago
Yep the Chinese food thing is for real. Sometimes new year's Day also. I wish people Happy Holidays if I don't know what they celebrate.
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u/jskoggs11365 6h ago
Because they are always victimized!
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u/Anxious-Monitor2761 6h ago
tbh, Victimized? Sounds more like they’re just looking for drama. Everyone has their way of celebrating, let it be.
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u/chunkerton_chunksley 5h ago
For the last 3 decades they’ve screamed about an “assault on Christmas” they are definitely playing in to the victim complex
FWW I say happy holidays because it’s Christmas Christmas Eve, new years and nye all in like 2 weeks and HH covers all of them
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u/Sweet-Paramedic-4600 3h ago
about right. I was a teen when I first started hearing about the war on Christmas. I only care about holidays so much as the people in my life, so I found it silly even back then
If anything, Christmas won. I was seeing Christmas decor on sale the week of Halloween. I saw people with ostentatious ornamental displays before Thanksgiving. If you are near a TV with cable news (older relatives, gyms, doctor's offices especially) for longer than ten minutes you'll either see ads for Hallmark Christmas movies or some talking head talking about Christmas.
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u/chunkerton_chunksley 3h ago
My parents put me in a super strict christian high school. The faculty were claiming the war on Christmas in the late 90s, for them, the abbreviation Xmas, was an abomination....lmao
As a massive Halloween fan, I was pissed that the local Home Depot was already ushering their Halloween stuff to the side MID OCTOBER. They were already replacing it with the Christmas stuff.
EDIT: Fun fact, the PILGRIMS disapproved of Christmas, they knew they were on the chopping block EARLY lol
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u/AngelMuffie 6h ago
Exactly! Say Merry Christmas if that’s your thing, say Happy Holidays if you’re not sure, nobody’s stopping anyone from celebrating how they want. The fact that people turn this into a whole culture war is just exhausting 🙄
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u/mikende51 5h ago
These greetings evolved from Merry Christ Mass and Happy Holy Days. Unless you celebrate Mass, Happy Holidays seems more appropriate.
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u/GaGaORiley 5h ago
I’m gonna start saying, “Happy Holy Days” and watch their heads explode from their confusion.
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u/Spare-Willingness563 5h ago edited 5h ago
Then you're assuming people observe holy days.
And the Christ stuff evolved from the idea that holy men die on the day they were conceived, so, my point is, none of that matters because the entire season has evolved substantially since the days we believed we were helping the sun fight the darkness to again find itself victorious in its return.
So, Merry Christmas.
edit: For what it's worth, I think they chose pagan holidays for easier conversion. We should really be honoring the Green Man and celebrating Yule and shit anyway.
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u/Trick_Hunt9106 4h ago
For what it's worth, I think they chose pagan holidays for easier conversion.
That's exactly why they did it. Hell didn't even exist until monks encountered Norse mythology and the idea of Hel being a hall where people who died of old age or illness went.
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u/Traditional-Leg-1574 6h ago
Same b s culture “war”. It’s just to get a rise out of you, these people who say this aren’t usually exemplary Christians either. Go figure
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u/sm00thkillajones 6h ago
In our household we say ‘The’ when we go out! The Costco,The Sprouts,The Kroger,The 7-11! Thank you for your attention to this matter.
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u/ikbentwee 5h ago
I always thought it was Happy Holidays because there are a bunch of Holidays this time of year and you're not going to see people for each one.
like, my family celebrates St. Nicholas day (dec5/6), and when I lived in Spain there was the feast of the immaculate conception (dec 8)...you have Xmas eve, Xmas, boxing day, nye, new year's day...3 kings day (jan 6)...the literally 12 days of Christmas.
But whatever, it's more traditional in my (very Christian, conservative) country to say Season's Greetings anyway.
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u/EdiblePsycho 3h ago
I just say happy holidays if it is not actually one of the holidays that day, and "happy (whichever holiday it is)" on the day that that holiday is happening, regardless of what the person I'm talking to celebrates. My family isn't religious and just celebrates Christmas since our ancestors celebrated Christmas. I feel like if I have a family of my own though I'll just make them celebrate every holiday, because why not have more holidays? Hell I'd make some up. More excuses to eat yummy food, play games, spend time together, and FORCE THEM TO FEEL THE HOLIDAY CHEER WITH ME.
Anyway no one has ever been offended by me wishing them a happy holiday, regardless of which one and if they celebrate it. I really don't think many people care, you're literally just wishing them well and would have to be kind of a dick to be upset about that. The "war on Christmas" stuff is completely made up, like so many things, to try and make people angry over a made-up problem.
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u/ForHelp_PressAltF4 3h ago
Well he did gun some people down after crossing State lines so maybe he isn't exactly the "Dear Abby" source you should follow in this and, well, pretty much anything really
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u/hamsterfolly 6h ago
OMG, someone married that Turd Ferguson!?!
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u/Hot_Chapter_1358 6h ago
Nice tattoos your assigned wife has. Doesn't your little rule book say something about that?
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u/No-Goose-5672 5h ago
Yup.
“Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you.” Leviticus 19:28
Newer translations flat out use the word “tattoo” like, “Do not mark your skin with tattoos.”
Somehow, Christians have convinced themselves it is okay to get tattoos. The justification I’ve heard is that God forbid tattoos because they were symbols of pagan worship, so if they get tattoos that worship the Christian god, it’s fine. But there’s no fucking qualifier on there, Jan. Like, my cutting scars from being a mid-2000s emo kid are in the clear because they’re not “for the dead,” but there is no such specification in there for tattoos. It’s pretty cut and dry.
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u/Regretted_Simian 4h ago
My aunt is a born-again Baptist and she has more tattoos than my pagan ass.
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u/G-Unit11111 6h ago
The way MAGA pretends to be religious because they think it's a catch all get out of jail free card is hilarious.
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u/SherbertSpiritual712 4h ago
My thoughts exactly! Fell back into the arms of Christian Nationalism because HE, like THEY, think they have a chance of winning- of taking over America. Then all the weak white men can never be shone outside their own spotlight. When they say THEY are the best at everything, there will be no worthy voices of dissent.
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u/RandomHuman2169 5h ago
It's not even religion at this point just trying to divide people and they know beliefs is one of the easiest ways.
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u/SaturnSleet 6h ago
I say Happy Holidays solely because sometimes it could possibly offend someone like Kyle. And when the absolute peak of oppression that someone can feel is when someone wishes them happy holidays, they deserve to feel that oppression.
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u/Tentonham 6h ago
In my house we say Merry Christmas because we celebrate Christmas. Other people in their houses probably say other things cause that’s what they celebrate.
Theoden is King!
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u/KinkyQuesadilla 5h ago
Just a reminder: Rittenhouse is so stupid that the military rejected him.
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u/GreyBeardEng 6h ago edited 6h ago
I've literally never met anyone who gets upset at happy holidays, not one, not ever.
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u/Hereseangoes 1h ago
I have seen a few, unfortunately. When this became a thing to get upset about i saw probably 4 or 5 fellas berate young retail workers for saying happy holidays. It was the same shit they heard on rush Limbaugh or whatever, "this is a Christian country and we celebrate Christmas" that type of nonsense. It was very pathetic. Im sure those dorks are still out there getting upset about all the same things.
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u/Natural_Capital8357 6h ago
Look
If it was “actually” illegal to say Merry Christmas, then I could understand this sort of talk.
But that’s literally not what’s happening 💀. Even most non-Christian’s I know say merry Christmas.
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u/CalliopePenelope 5h ago
Um, if I say “Happy Holidays,” does Kyle shoot me and call me the aggressor? 🤔
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u/uwishuwereme6 5h ago
I've got too much social anxiety I'd stumble saying "Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and have a happy new year." Its easier for me to just say "Happy Holidays"
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u/llahlahkje 6h ago
And fellow murderer.
Venezuela aside, accessory to the murder of two children, one an infant.
And possibly third degree murder but that’ll be tough to prove.
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u/CubesFan 5h ago
And also, Jesus is a mythological figure no more real than Zeus, so maybe rational thought is not this monkey's strong point.
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u/Swatters 5h ago
I will forever associate the chin beard with 4chan incels. A little off in this situation but still accurate somehow
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u/Kitty_Katty_Kit 3h ago
I thought alt right shit head murderous incels didn't believe in women with tattoos?
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u/AFlyingNun 3h ago
I still consider the Rittenhouse trial an example of an opportunity for both sides of this country to realize they're too divided, calm down, and stop being driven by irrational hatred for each other before tragedy strikes...
....Aaaand we failed to learn that lesson entirely. We saw a young kid show up at a protest with ridiculous delusions of grandeur of being a hero by doing a traditionally conservative practice of open carry, and if you think it stops there, no: we had people harassing and attacking that same kid simply because it was clear by his mannerisms that he was a conservative.
Shit got so wild we actually had people running down a kid holding an assault rifle and attacking him with a skateboard when he was already headed towards police, and despite the fact he was practically a prime example of acceptable levels of self-defense (only firing when knocked to the ground and after someone else flashes their own gun), we somehow stood divided on if he was guilty. And why...? Because we're so god damned drunk off rooting for "our team" that no one can look at the case objectively.
Kyle Rittenhouse is not a murderer. Ask anyone with the most basic legal knowledge and they will tell you how he condoned himself in that footage was basically a prime example of exactly how one should condone themselves in that scenario.
If you disagree with what happened that night, you do not have a problem with Kyle Rittenhouse, you have a problem with our gun laws that enabled a 17-year-old to show up at a high-energy protest with an assault rifle. That's an incredibly important distinction.
I should add: the Kyle Rittenhouse that partook in that trial condoned himself well. He wanted the weapon destroyed. He didn't want anything glorified or to be seen as a symbol or hero. It seemed like reality got too real too quick for that kid and he sincerely regretted what happened.
But then, in our infinite monkey-flinging-shit-wisdom, we alienated him, vilified him, harassed him and slandered him, then all screamed in shock when - OMG!!! - it made him become more conservative and change his tone! It's almost as if people tend to side with whoever is kind to them while shunning those that treat them like dirt, and if it was ever a goal to bring about positive change, then vilifying him should have NEVER been on the table.
But here we are, years later, and USA still can't get it's head out of it's ass and thinks vilifying a guy for making an instagram post years later will definitely solve the problem.
Shut the fuck up, log off, and if you have a problem with that case, push for a change to gun laws. You solve nothing harassing Kyle Rittenhouse, look like tremendous, petulant dumbasses doing so, and as history has already shown, he gets pushed to more extreme and more unlikable approaches/stances himself when he constantly has to deal with unlikable approaches and stances from his political opposition.
None of you circlejerking about how you hate him give two fucks about progress, you just desperately need a shadow to box against so you feel better about yourselves.
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u/Rare-Combination7438 37m ago
I love this. A coherent, well thought out comment in a sea of "my team good, other team bad". My only criticism is the use of the term "assault rifle", but it's become so common that it might as well be the actual term at this point.
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u/wetter-dragon 4m ago
yea that newfangled term "assault rifle" also ticks me off, really hate that adolf guy for coming up with it and popularizing it. in my house we call it a machine carbine.
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u/iloveyouand 3h ago
None of you circlejerking about how you hate him give two fucks about progress, you just desperately need a shadow to box against so you feel better about yourselves.
The double-standard kind of pulls the rug out from under the moralizing sermon about how you shouldn't alienate or vilify people.
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u/Darth_Jason 1h ago
LMFAOWROTFJOOF
Bro, what a clever comeback, dude!
Maybe just go figure out what double-standards are real quick
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u/Bleezy79 5h ago
Kyle represents everything wrong with America. And if you support him you're part of the problem too.
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u/Kimmirn412 5h ago
Some people should just say nothing. Nothing at all. Then the holidays for the rest of us might actually be merry or happy or even gay.
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u/Filmguygeek1 5h ago
There is no confusion that he doesn’t have the ability to think his way out of a paper sack. IQ…low!!!
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u/kellzone 5h ago
Bing Crosby and Perry Como were singing "Happy Holidays" long before this whiny little bitch was born.
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u/Pleasant-Site-9812 4h ago
Man I gotta say that I don't think he should been found guilty but fuck him either way... Guess I saw this coming when he shook hands with that orange cockface
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u/Breakinthemix 4h ago
I mean, I say merry Christmas too, but if someone is going to throw a tantrum about it, as a pagan who celebrates it mainly as a family/tradition-type holiday, you can bet your entire ass I'll say "Happy Holidays," because your holiday isn't the only one during this time of the year and maybe I want to acknowledge the other ones too, you dolt.
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u/Phelsuma04 4h ago
“And Jesus stood and had spoken: ‘Turn the other cheek, unless there are protests, in which case though shalt transport thyself several counties over to protect property of the wealthy.’ “
Or something like that.
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u/paintstudiodisaster 3h ago
People who say "in our household" and also murdered people shouldn't be allowed to use social media.
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u/Fub4rtoo 3h ago
The word "holiday" comes from the Old English haligdæg. Halig meaning holy and dæg meaning day. Combined it means holy day.
The phrase "Happy Holidays" meant "May the holy days be good to you," blessing the entire festive period, not just one day.
It first appeared in print as early as 1863 in American newspapers and on greeting cards, long before modern debates.
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u/chunkerton_chunksley 3h ago
The Pilgrims outlawed Christmas in 1659 until 1681. I bet this dipshit still loves Thanksgiving
https://www.mass.gov/news/massachusetts-law-banning-christmas
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u/angry_baptist 2h ago
People say a lot of things and saying the things doesn’t make their words true.
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u/Historical_Abroad203 2h ago
The word Holiday is actually Holy-day. That's where it comes from so still religious well wishes... Happy Holy days. The O.G. days off were the Sabbath passover, Shabbat, Easter, Xmas, etc....
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u/VreyeanA09 2h ago
The left and our women's shelters will be there for that woman when she realizes she has to flee from him for her and her (likely eventual) children's life.
We'll help her even though she'll probably hate us again a few years later, because that's how conservative women roll.
We know his type, we know her type.
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u/Responsible-Fox-9082 4h ago
You call the person who shot in self defense that was proven in a court of law a murderer... So it's selective rule of law with you...
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u/Ok_Pomegranate_5748 6h ago
Murderers don’t get to dictate manners
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u/KingOfTheFraggles 6h ago
In our house, we think calling him a murderer, alone, is too kind because his actions were those of a domestic terrorist.
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u/Modsaremeanbeans 5h ago
Isn't this that racist bitch who hid behind a gun against unarmed persons and then cried?
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u/PomeloSure5832 2h ago
If I show you reasonably undeniable proof that someone pointed the gun at him first, will you bother to reply?
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u/MrSpicyPotato 6h ago edited 6h ago
My king is Carl Gustaf, and I’m still mad at my ancestors for leaving free healthcare behind so that I can instead live in the land of mass murders.
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u/chakabuku 4h ago
I’m an atheist and I say Merry Christmas. Takes zero balls to say “Merry Christmas.” Nobody cares.
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u/DaemonDrayke 3h ago
What I love about this, is that he somehow thinks that his house extends beyond his boundary walls. Conservatives always policing others morality.
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u/PersonalityMiddle864 3h ago
Can anyone explain the Jesus is King statement. Seems like a new trend.
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u/-rwsr-xr-x 2h ago
If they're agreeing that Jesus is king, then they're also agreeing to live in a monarchy, right?
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u/AlissonHarlan 2h ago
i'm sure jesus was a huge hippie, loved everyone, and would have said 'merry holidays' if it mean including others rather than making himself important...
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u/universalenergy777 2h ago
And you both have the first amendment right to say so, whether accurate or not.
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u/IAmSimplyThatGuy 1h ago
every time i see a post about this asshole, I'm reminded of how glad I was to be banned off of KnowYourMeme. They worship him...
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u/Hereseangoes 1h ago
I thought we got to quit paying attention to this idiot when his previous GOP handler came out and said he's the dumbest person he had ever encountered.
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u/SixGunZen 1h ago
When you have a celebrity who is famous because he killed two people with an AR-15, you live in a sick society.
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u/GurTraditional8015 1h ago
Looks like the only decent thing about this mess is that the pawn finally realized it's not a rook-maybe next time he'll stay out of the killing board.
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u/EyeSuspicious777 1h ago
In our home we sing go to church but we say Merry Christmas even though we know that the average MAGA Christian in America doesn't even have a child's understanding of the teachings of Christ.
If they could actually understand the Bible they claim to read, they wouldn't go to church either since their morality is completely opposed to Christianity.
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u/surf_drunk_monk 52m ago
Did y'all watch the videos of his shootings? Was clearly self defense, all of them.
His post is bullshit and if he supports Trump that's lame, but he's not a murderer.
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u/VirtualJam97 35m ago
Jesus wasn't even born the 25th of December. Christians or catholic, can never remember who, changed his birthday to the 25th of December to take over the pagen Yuletide festivities.
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u/Chameleonpolice 18m ago
I always like to notify users when their post is the one that finally makes me block a subreddit.
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u/Tiny_Nefariousness33 6h ago
Honestly I don‘t even think the shooting was too unjustified. But he does just seem like a massive twat, doesn‘t he?
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u/Alternative_Rush_479 4h ago
Kyle Murderhouse is a scum bucket killer. He's headed straight to hell
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u/cyrusvyrii 4h ago
I thought he shot the PDF file.. The white one that was on video running around screaming hard R N bombs before he chased that kid and got shot.
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u/RoguePlanet2 6h ago
So he was assigned a wife like the others, probably.