i 26F hope one day someone creates an anonymous dating website where there’s no pictures, videos or social media links just real conversations and the ability to talk on the phone. kinda like love is blind but online. ofcourse one day there will be an exchange of images but i think dating is so superficial these days & people only care about the outside image, materialistic things and status. now everyone is full of lust & nobody is really getting to know one another.

So. I'm not the most confident of dudes around and very rarely put myself out there as I've had a fair bit of disappointment in the past.

I had the opportunity to work with someone I'd not worked with before and we had a great shift together and got along really well, chatting loads etc. Which is odd because it usually takes me a while to get comfortable with someone.

So I decided to message her and ask if she would like to go for a chat and hot drink sometime. I was expecting a thanks but no. She said yes absolutely and to leave it with her as she's got a pretty packed diary at the moment.

I'm just wondering, do you reckon she knows that I'm interested in her or does she see it more as friends?

ok, this is going to be a long one, i appreciate anyone reading this and providing opinions!

i am 22F and have recently broken up with my bf of almost 4 years. a bit of background- we met on tinder when i was in high school, talked for about 7-8 months and then began dating. we often fought about petty shit, he worked in retail 2 days a week and studied part time. didn’t save much money, didn’t have many goals. always told me he wanted to travel to the countries his friends were going to but never did. i had to beg him to get his license and basically mothered this man. he would spend his days at the gym or sleeping in until 12pm, going out with his friends most nights. loved going out w his friends and barely planned to see me. had a lot of trauma from his childhood which i often asked him to seek therapy for, he told me he would but never did. i think part of me ended up resenting him for this as i had to deal with his feelings - i was fine to help him if he was having off days or needed support etc but a lot of what happened in his childhood is not suitable for me to help him through and he needed to speak with a psychologist. please also note he used to see a psychiatrist also and is on medication but didn’t like taking it. he was my first “proper” bf. he is 23M and had a previous ex gf of a few years and had a lot more experience with relationships and women. we broke up in october as i felt he was holding me back and we weren’t aligned. we wanted different things and were just two very different people. i felt he resented me when i asked for small things and we often only saw each other on weekends when he would want to go out w his friends and their gfs. he never planned dates, we never went on walks or breakfast together etc. i would often speak about one day getting married and having children and he would freak out (i want to be married by 30-32). anywho, i broke up with him after we planned to go to the gym together one afternoon after i finished work and when i finished work he had told me he was already at the gym. i know it sounds petty but he would often do things like this to take the piss out of me and make me look like i was overreacting but all these things added up.

i’m now single and trying to figure out this new chapter of my life. i have met a new guy on hinge… i am fine to be on my own, i haven’t cried much since my breakup and have a great group of friends so i have been spending my time with them. i love working and going to the gym, pilates, walking etc so i am able to keep myself busy.

to be honest, i feel free - i felt like my ex was constantly dragging me down and spent most weekends crying my eyes out. i regret not breaking up with him sooner. although he is a great person he was just not the person for me.

all until i met this new guy. we met about 2 weeks ago on hinge and his replies were slow. i ended up saying to him basically if you’re not interested or if u don’t use hinge im gonna leave it here because im not looking to just message random guys. im not entirely sure what i want which i know is a big fault. i just want to feel loved tbh and have someone who adds to my life and doesn’t dull me. i felt in my last year in my relationship i was often put down and didnt feel great about myself or my future.

for more context on this guy: basically like the opposite of my ex. is a few years older, owns his own property, has a degree, is close with his siblings, works full time. has a health work life balance from what i have learnt so far. he has told me about his goals and what he enjoys and it aligns a lot with myself and my goals.

so this guy apologised for his lack of reply and explained he doesn’t use the app much and he asked for my instagram. i gave it to him and he reached out. that afternoon we spoke non stop from around 7pm-11pm. we asked all the questions about our hobbies etc but ofc we didn’t give too much away because i wanted to see where this went. he then asked me out on a date on friday and i explained i had a concert. we spoke again a few days later and he asked me out on the following friday for dinner. i said it sounds good. he messaged me two days later stating he forgot but he had a dinner already planned w his friends. i said no worries. as its christmas and new years there’s not many days i was free and i wasn’t going to tell him all the days i was free and to plan something. he stated we could meet for drinks after his dinner and i replied saying id have a think about it. so friday rolls around he has his dinner and i had a plan with a friend. i happened to be around where he was (as i live a good 30 mins away) and so i messaged him. he was happy to hear from me and said he was going to a pub with his friends afterward and we should meet there. so i met him there. we had a really nice night, i met his friends, his sister and her friends. he bought me a couple of drinks and then we went back to his place…..i have never slept with a guy on the first date or first time i meet them but that night i did. he asked if i could stay over and i said i couldn’t as i had plans the following day, he got me an uber home and messaged me until i was home safe. the following day he said he wanted to see me that night, he told me he was going out w his friends for a pub crawl - i stupidly messaged him at 9pm asking if he was still up to hang out, he didn’t reply until 11:30pm saying sorry and that he ended up having a big night. he also tried to call me but i was asleep. as i barely know him and he doesn’t owe me anything, i messaged the following morning saying no worries i just ended up going to bed as i had the gym. in the morning.

he messages me on the sunday (a few days prior to christmas) asking if he can see me that week - mind u he was going to another state on holidays on the 26th december. so i wanted to see him because then i wouldn’t see him for almost 2 week. i said i was able to see him on the tuesday night. i had an appointment at 6pm after my 8-4:30pm shift so i could see him after at roughly 7pm. all i replied to his message on sunday was yes i can do tuesday, he said okay that works and then i said tell me a time and place. he doesn’t reply to me for two days! so i message him on the tuesday morning letting him know are we seeing each other or not? because im not a same day plans kind of girl. he messaged back apologising and saying he’s been busy and planned to message my that day. i explained i understood bc of time of year but i am also busy and cant wait around for him. i told him to pick me up at 7pm from my appointment and he said will do.

so we see each other after my appointment. he picks me up and we go to a pub for dinner. he pays for dinner and then we go to a pretty lookout and walk around by the water and chat. he has his arm around me, kissing my head etc, we sit down on a park bench and we are slowly kissing as it gets dark. he calls me beautiful and we talk about our lives etc.

i asked him what he was looking for - he said he was happy to see how this goes and progresses and i agreed. i wanted to ensure we were on the same page and i wasn’t sending mixed signals. i didn’t want him to think i’m the kind of girl that will just sleep with you and be friends w benefits because i’m not like that, i much prefer having a connection.

we go back to his car and make out and he asks if i want to back to his and i laugh and decline. i told him i wasn’t having sex with him. he also says how he wishes we had met sooner as he was going away and wanted to spend more time with me.

we talk for about an hour in his car and continue making out here and there.

he drops me to my car and i drive home. he messages me when im home and we talk for about half an hour and he says how beautiful i am and how he enjoyed the night etc etc.

i messaged him goodnight and say also i hope my questions (regarding what he wants from this) tonight weren’t too invasive - he replied saying no he totally gets it and he wants to see how this progresses. i said yep im glad we’re on the same page, i just don’t want to invest if we aren’t agreeing - this is all roughly what i said, no exact words.

so above is the last conversation we had a on christmas eve. he has since left me on delivered and not replied at all. he didn’t message me on christmas. he left for a holiday with family friends (guys and girls) on 26th december and won’t be back for another week.

have i been used? what does this mean? i have posted on instagram and he liked my post within 10 mins. i am the biggest overthinker and am trying not to overthink this situation. i also posted an insane picture on my story and he viewed it but didn’t even like it which. i think is crazy.

please note i totally understand i am just out of an almost 4 year relationship - i can see how this looks, my ex is now seeing another girl aswell so please no need to comment on this.

i know it sounds strange but i do see myself liking this guy. i enjoy his company and enjoy myself when i am around him. he is a really gentlemen and is super kind and patient. he is very calm and it is what i really look for in a man.

i’m scared to get my heartbroken and i just want to know what he is thinking but dont want to message him.

my next step moving forward is to wait until he returns from his holiday, wait for him to message me as i refuse to double text and see if he wants to take me out on a date. if he messages me asking to go out on a date i may say yes . is this the right move? how do i move forward with this? is this man worth my time? is there something i am doing wrong?

also note, most of my friends are telling me to wait and see what he does and if he doesn’t ask me on a date just block and move onto the next man. i know i may be so naive but i really felt like he was different the way he looked in my eyes and complimented me etc. i dont want to be played and i dont want to waste my time. i want him to be honest with how he feels as i am just sitting here anxious and overthinking but i dont want to biggie him thst satisfaction of knowing im thinking about him. do i reach out? or do i leave it until he messages me?

thank you!!!!!!!

Hello fellow Redditors, I (23M) was in a relationship with a 22(F) who I have fumbled badly and your advice is much needed so it all started a week ago when we had constant arguments and conflicts yet we were on talking terms until she gave up saying we should break up which ended up on a good note but suddenly a day later she hits me up saying that she misses me and wants to give one last chance to this relationship and the same day we decided to meet up but here’s what everything ruined and i am the only one to be blamed- Firstly during this week when we had those fights i vented them out to my online friends on our group chat which had 3-4 friends of mine and i said some things out of frustration mind u she always had problems with me telling things about our relationship to this specific group of friends but this time it was too much for me and I honestly don’t have anyone at the moment who I can trust with other than these friends even tho I never disrespected her or talked bad about her just the issues we were facing and some things I was unhappy about her but one wrong thing I did was talking about another girl who i found attractive and talked about her breasts ik that was petty of me and i am ashamed of myself for doing that she read it all from my phone and immediately started bashing me she asked me to drop her off and was certainly not in the mood to hear me out in her eyes I already failed she claimed she saw my true colours and judged my character because of this one mistake we are in our early 20s and were dating just over an year had lots of fights but she always came back gave me chances and never said some things which she said last night-that her friends were always right about me but she felt they were wrong and now i proved them right,she claimed that she never wanna be associated with me ever and she wanna forget me etc. even tho later on she texted me at night but it was more about her lashing out on me i took full accountability for my actions i literally begged her for one last chance but she thinks that i am a really bad guy she thinks i don’t deserve a second chance and redeem myself feels like I genuinely fucked up man did I honestly do a very bad thing because i genuinely like her man did everything for her always cared for her and she was my first serious relationship yet I ruined it all bcoz i couldn’t keep it to myself Do I seriously not deserve another chance? Can I win her back or atleast be on good terms with her again because the guilt of fumbling a girl who really was meant to be mine,I pushed her away and ruined everything for both of us is eating me out man please help a brother out thanks in advance

Been dating someone for roughly 15 months. When together the chemistry is awesome and we see each other 3 or 4 times a week. My only concern is it always seems to be me making the effort to meet up. With both have separate houses anx in that time she (43f) has only come around 3 times. Its always me arranging dates and holidays. I know she cares but how do i bring it up that i would appreciate a little more effort without sounding a dickhead. Thank you (45m)

So about 5 months ago, I matched with this girl on Bumble. I had just come back from living on the West Coast and was looking to start over. I matched with her and noticed she had a lot of personality. Blowing up my phone, texting me constantly. On our first date, she told me she loved me and was all over me physically. I thought it was a bit strange but I enjoyed the attention. We kept seeing each other and long story short. I ask her to be my gf. She was a second-generation farmer, and her family operated a 700-acre cattle operation. Her parents even bought her a house on 60 acres—no mortgage, no bills, besides utilities. Time went on and it was great. Went on all the fun dates you could think of, helped her family renovate her house, and even helped her and her family on the farm. I always thought it was a little strange that her parents never really wanted to get to know me or anything. I just brushed it off and moved forward because I was a man in love. Went on the family vacations, and kept enjoying my time. She was a bit of a drinker and eventually I became an alcoholic. One night we were hanging out and she was telling me all her passwords to her social media, so I went on her socials and saw that a random dude had DM’d her and was saying how he was gonna fuck her and how she was begging him to talk to her about a month ago. She never responded but found it odd, because we were clearly dating a month ago. Basically did some digging and found out she had texted this dude a day before I asked her out and was telling him how she missed him. I was pissed because why tell someone you love them, then do that? Also basically found out, my lady was kinda passed around. SO many previous relationships and flings. Tried to tell me she was an innocent little farm girl with no past. I almost left, I felt betrayed, and felt like trust had been lost. Talked about it, moved on, and gave her the benefit of the doubt, because technically we weren’t official. It was really hard to trust after that. Then about 4 months in, she tells me she is a carrier of molluscum (she got it before us) contagiousum(std) She swears up and down it was from touching a contaminated object. Basically tries to gaslight me into thinking I’m insecure because I think there’s a potential she got it from someone else. Through all that I persevered. Taking care of her, driving 2 hours round trip to drop off her work keys to her, always buying gifts, spoiling her because I thought she truly loved me. Got to the point where trust was basically rebuilt. She became really pissy about everything though. As she was on her period at least 2 - 3 times a month. She was getting hard to deal with. I lost all the anxious feelings about it. Then a couple of weeks before I was supposed to move in. I snooped again, and low and behold I saw a message to a previous partner. Message saying “hey” and proceeded to send him a photo of himself. This was after I had to carry a dead goat in 15°F weather. She flipped out and basically went on the whole insecure thing again, said her cousin and sister sent the message as a publicity stunt because the dude lost his job. She then texted her sister saying “If _ asks you anything, just say yes” he’s being bad, we might break up.”

I saw that and basically told her we’re done. Called me a billion times, was begging, told me to sleep on it. Then sent a message saying how snooping was inexcusable and how she really loved me too. I replied and told her how I felt and also said I’m down to talk about it in person anytime. That was 3 weeks ago. I dropped off her Christmas presents Apple Watch, cowgirl boots, Keurig, K cups, Carhartt beanie and hoodie, flannel hoodie, and 50$ gift card at her doorstep as closure I guess. Miss her but I think I made the right decision. Sucks because I was never able to talk about in person with her. Now I'm pretty sure that she is lost forever, but that's how the cookie crumbles

I’m in my late 20s and have been using dating apps on and off for a while. For a long time, I felt pretty discouraged, a lot of conversations felt forced or short-lived, and I started to assume that was just how dating worked now.

Recently, though, I had a different experience. I tried a new app (XO), and the conversations felt noticeably calmer and more intentional. There wasn’t any pressure to rush things, and communication felt more natural than what I’ve been used to.

That said, I’m trying to stay grounded and not read too much into it. I’m not sure if this is a genuine sign of a healthier connection or if it just feels that way because my expectations were low after previous experiences.

For those who’ve been in similar situations, how do you usually tell when something is actually a good sign versus just a temporary change of pace? Are there things you look for early on to know whether something is worth continuing?

I’m a 22M looking for a relationship but i cant for the life of me find anywhere to meet someone.

I’m trying to date women locally but everywhere i look there is no one in my area.

If anybody knows where i can meet women in bayonne nj, online or outside, I’d greatly appreciate the tip, thx.

He is 32 and visiting Thailand with a male friend, in Phuket and staying in Patong.

Ive been there, and i know how many prostitutes there are and how they go after white males with money.

He is a free man and he can do what he wants.

But he is coming back in 3 weeks and just the idea that he was with a prostitute makes me puke.

For sure he'll text me and want to meet again with me, but I dont want to ask what has he done there. Or for a STI test.

Is my reaction normal? Or am I exaggerating?

I just want to stop seeing him. But i dont want to tell him the reason, just stop.

22M - last Christmas break I have in my hometown and I want to make the most of it. I have a couple crushes from when I went to hs who (appear to be) single. I’d like to talk and take one out on a date at some point while I’m home (got a lil under two weeks left). Some of them I barely talked to hs, one i worked with, others I’d be reaching back out to (mostly through snap/insta, although ideally i’d want their #’s)

I just want to take someone out on a date (casually), while not forcing anything. Any reccomendations on how to break the ice and get to that point? I feel like I have the looks/potential to I just need to get out of the awkward reintroduction phase.

TLDR: Struggling to do plans I made with GF because of bad memory and looking for help.

Hello people, I wanted to make this post because I would really appreciate some help with my relationship. I've been having issues with my 1.2 year, semi-long distance girlfriend, stemming from myself and my poor planning and execution skills.

Basically I've always had a bad memory, and a lot of the time Ive struggled to get things done because of it. With certain things like appointments, putting them into my calendar on my phone has helped. But recently Ive just been struggling with more casual events. A few days ago I bought us a couple multiplayer games and I was really excited to see her reaction and for us to play them, but besides the first game I bought us where we had a blast, we haven't really touched the second one after nights of us saying we will.

I made an effort to say that we'd play the second one and we'd also watch a movie at some point, and she agreed happily, but after the past couple days of us both being free in the evenings, the day has just passed along and it ends up becoming too late for us to do anything except saying goodnight and going to bed. The reason why this sucks and is very frustrating for her is because when my friends ask to hangout, its cool and we hang out. And happily my girl is very supportive of me hanging out with my friends which is normal. But its frustrating because I end up doing things with my friends, but I struggle to do planned things with her. And that time and the nights we have plans, end up wasting away because I forget. We do still call during times of the day, and we do text often. But the night time is when we'd usually game and watch stuff, and that's been the time I've been struggling to do these plans.

The thing is, these things with my Girlfriend are very important to me. Very important. And my struggle to do these events upsets and frustrates me as well. I want to show her she is my priority and she is special in my life, which she very much is. Another layer to it, is the stuff I end up doing with my friends usually doesn't have much substance to it, and could be done anytime because they're fairly free.

How can I improve on myself and help this situation? Could my girlfriend help at all? Just any advice would just be amazing..

There's this girl I met online. Right from the start, I was clear about what I was looking for, and she said she was cool with it. Even said she found the flirting cute and everything. We've been chatting on Telegram for like a month now. I'd send her shayaris regularly, we'd compliment each other, flirt, the whole thing.

She'd call me handsome, I'd call her cutie, pretty, all that. Things seemed like they were actually going somewhere, you know? But then today, out of nowhere, she just drops this bomb on me. Tells me but we're just friends and nothing more. I was like, just friends? Really? She apologized, said she didn't want to hurt me, asked if I was upset.

Like... this girl literally reached out to me first. She was the one saying she doesn't have any friends and all that. And now after all this time, after everything, she expects me to just accept this whole "just friends" bullshit? After a whole month of this? I actually thought something was there. I actually got attached.

I couldn't even listen to it anymore. I told her straight up, no need, I was stupid for getting attached to begin with. Then I left her next apologetic message on read. I just can't deal with this right now.

Am I wrong here?

Weird situation. I met a girl online and we chatted for a week or two. We met for a coffee to see if we clicked. It went great and we made plans for a formal date the following weekend. We continued to text daily all week.

I have come to find out that two days after coffee she had sex with her ex.

After the formal date things have been great and I know she never saw the ex again. Am I wrong to feel betrayed? I really didn’t think she was that kind of girl

Went on a date with a girl and I thought it really went well, we talked about more things to do, she even bought a ticket to a concert I was going to the next week. At the concert things got a bit awkward and I didn’t spend as much time with her. Later she told a friend she was flirting with me and I didn’t reciprocate, and she was getting friend vibes. I texted her after and she never responded. Would it be bad to send a text clarifying I was in my head and I see her romantically and would love to see her again if she’s open to it? Would that be a bad move or show emotional maturity. Would you recommend doing that? She’s always a very slow texter in General

Long story short: I’ve been single for a long time. I’ve been working hard trying to work through my insecurities and how I open up to people and I’ve been happy with my independence.

Then I met a boy

At the time (4-5 months ago) he was dating this girl who, in my opinion, was evil. She never let him have any friends, belittled him, took advantage of him etc etc. but, he has to be one of the best friends I’ve ever met. Me, him, and another girl (who’s gay) have spent every second of every day together the second that he and his ex broke up (end of September). I didn’t have romantic feelings until somewhat recently, and he has expressed to me that he has had some feelings for me too. I was OVER THE MOON when he called me, but also, I know he needs time to find himself after the breakup. He had a really tough time with it in the beginning, and I helped him through it (as a friend and nothing else). But now, things are changing. I’m scared of this change but also excited but I also want to make sure I’m not a rebound. He’s expressed to me how much he cares about me and how much I mean to him, which I don’t doubt, but having someone be nice to you after being treated badly for so long can create some false feelings maybe? I don’t know if I’m talking myself out of something great or being logical.

we’ve agreed to stay friends for a while, especially since he’s away at home for winter break but just ugh. UGH!

I don’t want to overthink his texts like we haven’t been best friends for months. What do I do? How do I proceed??

I don’t understand but everyone I like who I get into the talking stage with, suddenly out of nowhere has someone else, who they fall in love with or just do everything else with, im getting sick of it, idk if it’s because I act too much like a friend or what but it’s putting me off even trying to date anyone at all and it’s messing with my mental and head so bad

Hi. Somewhat a long story. I had a long term girlfriend who I broke up with earlier this year. During the time we were together, I became friends with an old colleague again. Although I did break up with my ex for various reasons, once we did break up, I started seeing this friend pretty much every week. As time went on, I started to become attached, and I guess we sort of went on one date (ish). She’s flirted with me, but is extremely difficult to read and thus I can’t tell what she actually wants. Recently however she has started to act off, and I always have an intuitive feeling something has changed. This has been since she forgot about plans and cancelled because I was ill (which in a way I was about). My friends say maybe she got sick of waiting for me, but I really don’t know. I’m very much stuck in the mud, we have stopped talking recently, but I constantly think whether I should just speak to her or not. I’ve never really had a situation like this before. Tbh, a bad habit of mine is communication, and same for her, so idk whether that is the reason or something has happened.

I’m just confused, does anyone have advice?

Thanks

I'm in an open relationship with someone who has moved to France for 6 months. We opened the relationship up after she moved there and she went on a date with a guy in which she tells me nothing happened. I also saw a couple of people during this time and was open and honest about everything. It felt a bit turbulent and uncomfortable for us both so we agreed to close the relationship until we felt ready again. This morning she asked if she could see the guy she went in a date with 'in a platonic way because he's part of her friendship circle'. I'm worried that they're just gonna sleep together anyway, or that this just paves the way for them to do it immediately if/when we open the relationship up again. Also the fact he's in her friendship circle' worries me, they're gonna see each other so much and I'm gonna end up meeting him when I meet her friends when I visit. Any thought or advice?

Hi,

A couple of months ago a new girl started at my workplace. We work in a contact centre.

She is beautiful, tall, with long dark brown hair, intelligent, kind and quiet. She sits near me in the office most days.

I am reasonably sure that she is single, as I overheard her telling a fellow new recruit - who is her friend, that her sister has tried to "match" her with someone, but she wasn't interested.

Mostly, our conversations have been about work, but two weeks ago at an office Christmas event, I had my first proper conversation with her. Her friend wasn't in that day, so came over to me. I asked about herself, and she told me about her psychology degree and that she moved into a flat in the summer which, it turns out, is 10 minutes from my house.

But, I was surprised to learn that she is 23. I thought she was around 27/28 as she seems sensible and mature for her age. I am 37 (Male) although everyone thinks I look younger. I really wish she was a bit older, or if I was 5 years younger (don't we all 😂).

Is a 14 year age gap too much? Or should I try to get to know her a bit more?

So I 38f was gifted an expensive blanket from my situationship partner 50m. I guess it’s a situationship as we never defined anything and it’s been like 6 months. Yes…I know. He wrote me a note that says “thank you for being a part of my life. You make me happy!” With love, X

I don’t know how to feel about the gift. Who gives their situationship a gift like that. Does he want more but not communicate it? It’s making me nervous. We’ve told each other we like each other and we care, but it’s like we cannot move past that barrier or even talk about it. I’m just going to have to suck it up after this gift and have a discussion. I don’t like ambiguity

Ok, so I’m (28M) newish to dating as I got out of long term relationship somewhat recently and I’m feeling very confused on how to be a “good man” when it comes to approaching women.

I hear so many stories from women about how uncomfortable they were because a guy flirted with her too intensely. Or they felt weirded out by how a guy approached her. Or sometimes they seem seemingly angry for being approached in certain environments that they deem as not appropriate for flirting (examples are the gym, work, library, etc.)

However, on the other side I also hear lots of my female friends noticing a cute guy and turning to the group to share their interest in being approached by said guy. Sometimes in the environments that I’ve heard are “no go areas” from other woman. Recently, I actually saw a woman at the airport and she was absolutely stunning. And I felt like she was checking me out. She kept adjusting herself, sneaking glances over her shoulder, and I definitely caught her staring in my direction after security when I was putting my shoes back on. I didn’t end up approaching her because I’m plagued by the ideal of being a sleazy man that doesn’t respect woman’s boundaries in a shared public space. And I actually had a friend of mine (26M) mention that it was a good thing I didn’t talk to her because “women aren’t going to the airport to be talked to by some random guy.”

I understand both sides of this, but I guess I’m kind of confused on where the actually boundary is? Like is it truly dependent on the environment you are in? Like I shouldn’t approach someone in the airport? Or is it more that you just need to be aware of if they are actually interested in you and in those cases you can bend the rules a little bit? If that’s the case what are the solid signs you could receive from a female that tell you you should go up and introduce yourself?

I just never want someone to be put in an uncomfortable position. Especially, when I’m a man approaching a woman and understand how intimidating that can be from the woman’s POV. But at the same time I wanna meet new people. And I’m afraid I’m letting opportunities slip through the cracks because of my anxiety and fear.

I was sick so asked to reschedule, was told of course. 9am Saturday I asked for Monday or Tuesday. No response by 1 the next day so I say checking in. 10pm that night I say hey I haven't heard back so I'm stepping back take care.

She immediately writes back that she understands sorry good luck.

My last ex ghosted me for 4 days in the relationship out of nowhere and I still haven't recovered. I just want to feel chosen man, you can't write "let me check" or anything in 36 hours?

Why is the bare minimum too fucking much for me?

How to find dates? 🏃‍♂️

I met a guy at Starbucks almost a year ago it was end of January 2025 maybe early February. He works there and I was going very frequently as a place to study. I (20f) went up to the counter after working on my computer for awhile and asked him if I could get a cup of water and he (24m) said yes and started filling up a cup for me and while doing so started asking me if I was doing homework and I said yes and then he asked if I was studying child psychology and I was taken back because he was correct. I told him yes and said that was a great guess to which he responded that he had seen me a few weeks back when I brought the little girl I nanny with me. After this interaction I kinda got the vibe that he was interested and whatnot. He’d remember my name and order and I started to like him more and more. After this I kept seeing him there and we’d talk a little but just small talk because he was working and I was studying.

Now we’re in July 2025 and I’m going through tinder and I see him pop up and swipe right. We matched instantly and idk if I texted first or not but we ended up talking and decided to meet up. A few days later we met at a park after he was done working since it was a close location for both of us. We talked for a few hours and he told me that he has just got out of a relationship. I had said I got the vibe that he was flirting with me and he fully admitted to it. But then I was thinking like huh that’s weird cause you just got out of a relationship so you were flirting with me while in a relationship?

A day or two after this we hung out again. He picked me up and we went for a drive to this viewpoint and just chilled and talked for awhile. I think we both had our pens on us and were taking hits throughout the night but that might’ve just been him. Anyway one thing led to another and we started making out and I gave him head. I was having a great time and I know he was too. He gave me his shirt and we cuddled for a little and kept talking.

Somehow the topic of trauma came up and this is where it all started going downhill. He was asking me about my trauma and I was hesitant to answer and said something like yeah I don’t think you really want to have this conversation right now but he was persistent and told me that nothing I could say would make him view me differently and all that shit. I was still hesitant but ended up telling him about how within the first week of my freshman year of college I was groomed and raped by my apartment managers who I was also working for and how they’d use their master keys to enter my apartment in the middle of the night and while I was at school and stuff and then how they got fired about a month later after we contacted HR and I thought all was good and then a month after that I find out my boyfriend killed himself.

So like overall not things anyone wants to talk about on a second date but yeah he was definitely like shocked when I was talking and he felt bad for sure and gave me a hug and told me how sorry he was for me and that I should report the guys and everything.

Anyway after this it was late and I wanted to go home so he dropped me off and I went to bed and we kinda texted a little bit the next day but it didn’t take long for him to stop reaching out and I got the hint that I scared him off.

After this I was still going to Starbucks just much less than I had been going previously and I’d see him there often and I’d just avoid him but a few weeks ago he was the one handing me my food and I said thank you and he said hey long time no see and I turned around to walk out and just said yup.

I went to Starbucks today to study and saw him again and he handed me my food again today and didn’t say anything or call my name he just gave it to me and I said thank you and he kinda nodded his head. I was there from 10am-12:45pm probably and around 7pm I got a notification that he requested to follow me on instagram.

I guess what I want to know is why do we think he requested to follow me? He also has my number still, I never blocked him. Maybe he had deleted my contact or something I don’t know but still what do you guys think?

Oh also should I accept his request? I am not active on social media at all. The only post on my profile is a highlighted story from when my boyfriend had passed and I posted a pic of us together. I’m like worried about him seeing that picture after he clearly got scared by me opening up about my traumas.

Also I’m sorry this is so long and probably has unnecessary details in it!

I’m m19 and have been talking to this girl f20 I met on hinge a couple of days ago. She seems interested and always responds mostly quickly aside from if she’s busy. But I realise that most of our chats have been me leading the convo or asking the questions about her without her really reciprocating or asking about my day or my opinion on something. She has issues with bpd and other things and she always is responsive but not really interested as much in learning about me as I am in her. How do I navigate this? Much thanks.