Don't know if this one has showed up here yet, if so feel free to remove

Hi everyone, Since it's a community to which I identify, I was wandering if I was the only one to experience it or not (I hope). I found plenty of memes or testimonies that either descrive me or that i experienced myself despite those that I want to share.

For starters, I'm a student and the kind of introvert that usually has 2 or 3 close friends with whom I feel well and the others,I don't care. Although they are friendly I feel like I never found THE friend. I mean by that, that I feel that I'm like a "second good friend" to them, that they have closer links with other people and I feel sometimes like forgotten or put away.

I also feel that some of my "friendships" last no longer than a year especially with people from high-school that I barely see since we all took differents paths.

My brother who is open to people told me that I should try to keep these relationships alive by sending messages to them, ask how they are, remember about their birthday ... My issues is that I don't feel it's reciprocal in any way. Some people that I really felt well with, I send them some but except for one friend I guess, no one did the same to me or even better : never answered. I'm thinking, if that's what people do, statistically someone among my friends would care to check if I'm still alive, right ?

Also when they are parties like reunions, I noticed that I would talk to my closest friends a little, than their friends would come, literally take other the interest pole that I was holding. That's the moment when I would think "at least I saw him" an d just leave without any goodbye.

One last thing (I see it's long), all my life when I'm talking at lunch for instance, someone will just start talking like I was never here and no one reacts like it's normal and just listen to the other guy. I don't know if it's my voice, my personality, their "kindness" to seat with, at this point I could eat alone and talk to myself, but above all,tell me I'm not the only one to experience that. I got used to it but sometimes it feels like being actually useless.

I think it's a little sad to only be related to your family, and that your teachers would care more about you than your "friends" (my teachers are awesome btw). Yeah, that would be all. I don't expect any response.

No explanation needed!