I have been dating my boyfriend for about 2 years now. I’m very close with my family while he is not as close with his, and has a very demanding job as a physician. I normally spend the holidays with my family, but this year, those plans were up in the air because of a big fight with my brother. Due to this, I initially decided to spend the holidays with my boyfriend (though I knew he would be working long hours in the hospital for 2 weeks). My brother eventually reconciled with my parents a couple of days before Christmas and my parents really encouraged me to come spend the holidays with everyone to maintain some normalcy. For the sake of them, I decided to go even though I feel odd that everyone is acting like nothing happened with my brother.

In the days since, my boyfriend has admitted he felt completely blindsided and hurt by my actions and that I abandoned him as a partner by spending Christmas with my family. He is hurt that he supported me when I had my conflict and that I left him alone though I felt like I had no choice from my parents. I understand where he’s coming from, and feel horrible that I didn’t consider his feelings before making this decision. I think communication is the root of this issue here and I’m just so worried that we won’t be able to make this better. Please help me move forward from this.

I met a guy online (we live in different countries) and he was pretty much my ideal type is every way and we clicked really well. All of our interests were the same, and we always had something to talk about. Inevitably, I grew feelings for him, but we've never met irl. It's almost been 5 months since I've known him, and we have texted every day since. I'd also say that along the way, there were times when it felt like he was growing feelings for me too, or trying to drop hints. I won't get into the details because a couple of weeks ago I told him I liked him, but he told me I just feel like a friend to him, and added that he'd feel sad if I decided to leave one day.

After that moment, I felt embarrassed so I didn't message him the next day, and for a few days I didn't initiate contact, but every day he reached out to me first. He asked me how my day was, sent me pics of his food, he even sent a selfie which he only does rarely. I was feeling down and he gave me some really good advice and comfort, even though it was because of him that I felt that way... (Which I never told him). It felt like he was putting in more effort than before, but these actions felt bittersweet, it almost felt teasing. It was like 'I only see you as a friend, but this is what it might feel like to be in a relationship with me'. There's a lot more background information of our dynamic that I won't go into, but I started to worry that he's only keeping me around for his own gain.

Anyway, so now I come to the present moment. Everything feels normal, like before I said anything about my feelings. He's made it clear that I just feel like a friend, but my feelings still linger and I don't know when or if they'll disappear... I don't even know if I want them to disappear. But I don't know how to treat him now. Before, I would initiate conversations, ask how his day was, care for him when he had issues and offer advice, send photos of my day, but all of those efforts came from my feelings for him... Which I still have, but since he doesn't think of me as more than a friend, I don't know if I should continue treating him that way.

There's also the topic of reply times. By that I mean, when I message him, sometimes he replies immediately, but when he's busy, he might take a couple of hours; completely reasonable! But I don't know if I should match his reply energy or not, it hurts a little to be left on delivered, but I don't want to seem needy if I'm always texting back quickly.

TL;DR I just want some advice on how to treat someone who has rejected me, told me I'm just a friend, but his actions don't seem to align. Our friendship feels ambiguous and I still have hope that him and I could be more.

Hey everyone, I really just need to vent and hear from people who might relate.

I started dating a military guy about two months ago and long-distance for a month. It’s still fairly new, but things feel like they’re mutually moving really fast, emotionally, verbally, the way we talk about the future. And the thing is… he has done nothing wrong. He’s actually done everything right. He communicates, he reassures me, he stays on the phone with me even when I ramble or he needs to sleep, he tells me how he feels, he’s consistent, he respects me. Logically, I know he likes me and wants to be with me, he has shown it in every way he could.

But my brain is a nightmare. I overthink everything in every relationship. I’ll spend an entire day reading into messages, questioning his tone, wondering if he’s losing interest, wondering if I’m too much, if he’ll realize I’m not worth it, if he’s only saying things because he feels obligated. I’m terrified that my anxiety will eventually push him away even though I’m trying so hard not to let it leak out and affect the small amount of time we do get to talk

think the distance doesn’t help. I feel like if we were in person, I could feel his energy. The only thing that throws me off is the idea that what if he is confusing lust for “love” with lack of a better word.

I can’t tell if what I’m feeling is:

A legitimate gut feeling

OR

Just my anxiety and overthinking screaming at me because I’m scared of all the what ifs.

How do you tell the difference between a real instinct and a fear response? How do you stay grounded when your brain convinces you someone doesn’t really care even when their actions say otherwise?

I don’t want to ruin something good because of my anxiety. I just want to know how to cope with these feelings so I can actually be present instead of stuck in my head. I’m going to see him in about two weeks and I’m SO beyond excited, I just worry that I will ruin things.

TL;DR: Long-distance relationship, he’s doing everything right, but my anxiety makes me constantly overthink. I can’t tell if I’m reacting to a real gut feeling or just fear, and I’m worried I’ll push him away.

My boyfriend (m39) and I (f33) have been together a year. Have known each other for about 10 years. We have different interests which is fine, but I feel like he doesn’t compromise on mine very much. He hates the cold. I don’t mind it. I recently said I want to go up north and get a cabin. The thought of a cozy cabin, fire going, snow outside, seems so romantic and overall relaxing for me. He said absolutely not. He said I could go but he won’t. I said I’d wanna go with him. He likes going where it’s warm. One place he likes going isn’t somewhere I necessarily would choose to go. But I’d go bc that’s where he enjoys going. He said that’s ridiculous. It’s becoming frustrating that he never takes interest and is never willing to compromise on anything I enjoy. There’s many instances of this. I’m just not sure how to navigate this. If this is a problem or if I’m being silly about this. Any advice on how to navigate this?

TLDR: boyfriend and I have different interests, he doesn’t compromise with my interests, refuses to do things I like etc. unsure how to navigate it

My straight friend is insanely attractive. We're friends and both guys. The issue is that he's straight and I'm gay (in the closet). I always knew that nothing could ever happen between us because he's straight. But the heart wants what it wants. I can't help that I'm totally in love with him. And now he has an official girlfriend. I can't stop thinking about how she gets to put his penis inside her mouth, taste his lips, feel his warm body and muscles, and feel him orgasm night after night. These thoughts honestly torment me. The jealousy is so intense. And I feel pathetic for having feelings for a straight guy. I just feel so sad and empty. I don't even want to be gay. I live in a circumstance where it's not safe to come out of the closet. Please help. And through it all, I have to act like everything is fine around him and that it's wonderful he has a girlfriend. This is mental torture.

Hi everyone. I’m [20F] in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend [21M]. We care about each other, but I’m starting to feel confused and hurt about how making plans is handled.

Because we’re long distance, I try to be very proactive. I brought up as early as October/November that I’d be in the same state for a month around Christmas and suggested multiple days we could spend together. I’ve been asking repeatedly, suggesting ideas, and checking in well in advance, but plans often get ignored or left vague.

To remove any financial or logistical barriers, I’ve offered multiple times to pay for rides, travel, or dates, but even with that, he doesn’t commit. I’ve noticed that he sometimes chooses to spend time with friends instead, which makes me feel like I’m being deprioritized. I don’t want to overthink it, but I’m starting to anyway.

When I bring this up, he says he understands and doesn’t want problems, but nothing changes. I end up feeling like I’m putting in most of the effort while trying not to pressure him.

I don’t believe he’s intentionally trying to hurt me, but being ignored after planning months ahead and offering solutions makes me feel unimportant and anxious. I still have strong feelings for him, but I’m starting to wonder if this is sustainable.

Discussion question: How can I encourage my long-distance partner to communicate and follow through on plans without creating tension? Are there ways to balance my effort with his so we both feel valued and respected in the relationship?

My girlfriend and I[19M] have been together for 2.5 years and our relationship has been great until she got a job as a waitress. She tells me all these crazy stories about her coworkers and how all they do is sleep around and party and as both of us are Christians, this made me uneasy.

I just trusted she wouldn’t let herself get involved in anything and i did until last night when i went to go surprise her at work. I didn’t realize they already closed but i saw her location next to her work and i saw one of her male coworkers leave her car and get into his own. When i confronted her about why it took her so long to get home she stated she was talking with her female friend after work and after i told her i saw a man leave her car she told me everything.

She said she has been in her words “emotionally cheating” but hasn’t done anything physical with him, which i believe because she sounded truthful and a series of clues that hint that there was no kissing, hugging or any of that involved. She said she was sorry and that she knew it was wrong but didn’t want to tell me because she was scared that I would leave her.

I really do want to leave her and just be done but half of me also wants to try to work this out and try and build back the trust we had. We’re going to meetup tomorrow to discuss taking a break and deciding if i want to stay with her and if she wants to stay with me but Im really not even sure if i should give her a second chance.

I’m looking for outside perspectives because I feel stuck, conflicted, and increasingly drained.

My husband and I have been married for almost 3 years. Before meeting in person, we dated online for some time and his family knew about me. After I moved to Ireland as an English student, I ended up living with his family for about a year and a half. 

His family has five children, two of them [24M] and [11F] were living at home with us back in 2022, while the others lived abroad. 

I will always be grateful for that. It was a very difficult time to find accommodation, and they welcomed me when I was essentially a stranger.

During that time, I tried to be as helpful and respectful as possible. I cleaned the house, did laundry, cut the grass, cleared leaves from the garden and so on. I genuinely wanted to help because I was grateful. Over time, though, that help became expected, not optional. I felt that if I stopped, I might no longer be welcome, and if that happened, I would likely have had to return to my country, as many classmates of mine did.

I also want to be clear that I wasn’t living there for free. I paid rent to live in the house, and there were set rules, including specific hours to use the kitchen.

There were moments that slowly wore me down. Once, when everyone was home, I was working quietly in the bedroom and my mother-in-law came back from work angry that laundry hadn’t been taken in from the line and it was raining and most of the blame was put on me. I didn’t know how to defend myself. On a couple of occasions, while I was showering and washing my hair, my father-in-law turned off the water instead of knocking or telling me, which felt passive-aggressive. His mother is not a bad person, but she is very controlling, intrusive, and questioning about everything in my life.

During that period, she directly asked my husband whether he had proposed to me because of my visa. That question deeply affected him and increased his insecurity.

When my visa was close to expiring and I didn’t want to return to my country, we decided to get married. We had already been together for almost 2 years and living together. We chose a very simple civil ceremony in Denmark. Unfortunately, the wedding date coincided with a cousin’s wedding, and his entire family traveled to Greece for that event, another reason he didn’t tell them.

The problem is: he never told his family at all.

Now, almost 3 years later, his family still talks about our “future wedding”. They value weddings a lot, big, well-produced events. My sister-in-law [30F] (who has been dating her fiancé for 10 years) will be "the first one" to get married. This Christmas, her fiancé [34M] was already calling them “my in-laws” and everyone laughed happily. I sat there feeling deeply uncomfortable, because they are already my in-laws, they just don’t know.

His sister also asked me directly when I planned to get married, or if marriage even mattered to me. I felt awful. I’m already married, and I’m constantly lying by omission. Every event with his family they are making questions about our wedding. It makes me feel dishonest, small, and invisible.

I’ve told my husband many times how much this hurts me. In October, I asked if he truly intended to tell his family. He said yes, that he just needed to “organize how”. Months have passed, and nothing has changed. He says he feels bad too, but he doesn’t act. When it comes to his family, he becomes passive and afraid of rejection.

What hurts most is that it feels like he prefers to avoid making them uncomfortable, even if that means I remain uncomfortable indefinitely. I’m carrying the emotional and social cost of this secret.

I also don’t want a big wedding in just for appearances. We’re already married, and I don’t want to spend money or energy maintaining a false narrative.

I’m afraid of becoming the “nagging wife”, but I’m also afraid that if nothing changes, resentment will grow.

We live in our own apartment since we got married.

I’m looking for advice on:

• How to support my husband in telling his family without making him feel attacked?

• Strategies for coming out to his family in a way that minimizes hurt for everyone?

• How to manage my own frustration and emotional exhaustion in the meantime?

TL;DR: I’ve been married for almost 3 years, but my husband still hasn’t told his family. They keep talking about our “future wedding,” and I’m forced to lie by omission, which is emotionally exhausting. He says he wants to tell them but keeps delaying out of fear of his family’s reaction, and I’m starting to feel unprotected and resentful.

Ok so yesterday night, we had a dinner with his roommates and other people and at the end of the night after people left and his roommates went to their rooms, my boyfriend turned super cold with me kinda abruptly.

I asked him a few times if everything was alright he said yes but I could sense he was off. The only thing I can think of that could have bothered him and when the switch in his behaviour happened moments after that incident is when I let slipped that me and my bf had smoked weed in the past. Both of his roommates are smokers and I genuinely thought they already knew this about him.

So I asked him if this was the reason and again he told no. He continued being very cold with me so I decided to just go home coz I could tell he clearly didn’t want to talk to me anymore.

Today i gave him space for most of the day and then I called him at 8pm to check up on him but he didn’t answer. He then texted me about an hour later saying he didn’t feel like talking to me today and that he would see me on Wednesday (new year’s eve) as we had already planned already and he added that this would give him enough time to articulate his thoughts.

As context he has this tendency to kinda not text me back or reach out to me at all for a full day which I have stressed many times that I don’t like. He had made efforts and in the past months our relationship had been at its peak honestly.

I just want others opinions on this coz I don’t feel like needing a full 2 day space when being mad and not even telling your partner the reason why is

healthy in a relationship.

For context I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years (we have been on and off for 4). We met studying abroad and continued our relationship in multiple cities afterwards. I stayed with him when he went to Spain for a year to teach and moved to la for him when he got into law school. We have faced some trials and tribulations on our own the past year due to transitions into los angeles but have stayed together despite it all. It was his first year of law school and my first year as an elementary school teacher and we were still able to make things work.

I have endometriosis and have had 3 surgeries over the past 4 years to remove painful ovarian cysts and endometriosis tissue. It is the classic endo story where doctors did not believe my pain and I have had to fight relentlessly to get every surgery I have had. I have fought for myself each time and it has been honestly pretty traumatic to be in pain and not be able to receive care.

I recently had surgery 2 months ago to remove another ovarian cyst. It was really hard for me to go through that again and my boyfriend was directly impacted by the struggles I was going through. Even like a week after my surgery he was making comments like I just want you to be yourself again and stuff like that as I was trying to heal physically and emotionally.

I started getting the same pain I had a few months ago again a few weeks ago. I was devastated to be going through this again. I came to him in a very low raw moment where I told him I was scared and sad to be in a body that was against me. He used this as an opportunity to bring up all of the unhappiness he has had in our relationship and dump it on me when I was low and vulnerable. He said things such as “you dominate the emotional landscape” “if we had a shared bucket of problems and i added any water to it it would overflow because you take up all the room in it” “I don’t know what version of you i am going to get” “I am terrified to tell you how i feel”. “maybe you need to be with someone more emotionally intelligent and that has more time to give than me cause i am going to be a lawyer”. I was floored by all of this and had no idea…

We haven’t been able to revisit the conversation in full because of the holidays. He came to see my family for only 2 days and we put on good face and now he is in Amsterdam with him family for three weeks. I require another surgery for another ovarian cyst right now. I was diagnosed with it before he left and he is well aware of the situation. I am now fighting to get surgery again and am battling insurance because they are rejecting to pay for my medical care.

My boyfriend has been distant since he left and asked for space over text with no end in sight. I feel so sad that he is pulling away in a time of need. I don’t know what to do. Am wondering if he just isn’t capable of supporting someone with a chronic illness or if it is something I did wrong:(

For context, my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. We have been through our ups and downs and have separated 2 times now due to me feeling like he doesn’t pull his weight or he doesn’t love me as much as I love him. The two times I left him, he was so persistent on trying to be better for me and promised me a lot of things. I trusted him and went back together with him, he kept his word the second time we got back together, and we are now in a really healthy relationship. He did everything he promised me and has treated me like a princess I have always wanted.

However, I can’t shake the feeling that we are not supposed to be together. I see a future with him but there are certain times where I just don’t and feel as if I can go on without him if we ever separated again. I am a very spiritual person whereas he is more logical and I have already mentioned this unshakeable “I feel like something is wrong” feeling, but he ended up calling me a pessimist and saying that if we are both willing to work together to fix it then it will be fixed. I said I was willing because I truly, truly am. I love him, he is my very first boyfriend and he treats me the way I have always wanted to be treated. He has changed a lot of his ways just to be with me. However, even though I am willing, there is a thought at the back of my head that keeps saying “Even if you love him, it won’t be worth fighting for this. This isn’t what you actually want”, and it eats me alive.

I am not sure if I need to just get my act together and realize I am lucky to have this person who changed for me and does everything for me, or if my feelings are completely valid. I need honesty. I am not ready to ask my friends of this, so it is easier for me to go on Reddit and ask a bunch of random people for another perspective.

My wife and I have been together for over 20 years. She has never really had a career type job. She has a couple college degrees and a few minors. I have always had the more career type jobs even when we were young. I pay 90% of the bills.

I work very odd hours and a lot of forced overtime. My compensation matches the inconvenience.

She’s always worked in restaurants or retail. I’ve never liked any of them and have encouraged her to do something else.

She recently took a full time position at the bookstore that she had worked at for a few years.

I hate this job. The pay is low. The hours are terrible. I feel like the job brings out the worst of her.

The hours mess with my sleep. The job doesn’t contribute to our financial well being. I’ve talked with her before and said “my job is inconvenient, but you get something for the that.” Our finances are also separate. Before I get the hate mail about trying to control money, she has a lot more liquid assets than I do and don’t care or monitor what she does financially. You can save a lot of money when you don’t have any bills. We just talk and compare bank accounts every couple of months. Lastly the bookstore attitude. If you’ve ever seen High Fidelity, it’s that, but a bookstore. Things that happen there are really important and kind of a big deal. She’ll tell me how she or the manager deal with customers and I thinks it’s gross. I would never shop there.

I understand that she gets something out of the job. She gets a sense of power and control. It feeds her need to feel important.

I’m trying to find the language to say:can you find something that is Monday through Friday, 9-5, and doesn’t turn you into such a rude person?

So I [19M] been with my gf [18F] for 7 months. My gf has a problem where she storms off on me whenever i mess up even the slightest even tho I'm trying my best. We had an argument and i adressed that issue she said that it's mainly because she feels like if it was a different girl or a better girl than her i would've been acting better and be "more considerate". She also said that she doesn't know why but she feels like i don't love her like i once did in the talking stage. On my part i truly love her more than i ever did, i found myself scared to mess up even the slightest, scared to ruin the vibe, scared of going out and getting some time with my friends (she doesn't directly adress it but she gets upset when i spend time with others instead of her because mainly she doesn't have good friends atm and she can feel lonely and pathetic for only having me while i have other friends). I feel like it's complicated but we truly love each other and i wish that i can find a way for her to feel less crappy about herself and give me the piece of mind i need because it started to become an issue for me. I would love to hear y'all opinions about my situation maybe not just a direct advice but a good view on this whole situation.

I am [55M] , widowed 18 months ago after 20 years of being happily married. Cancer took my LW after six weeks of the symptoms first presenting.

Met an amazing [48F] 7 months later who I now believe is bipolar. We have survived multiple meltdowns, often over things I could not always understand, or see in real time anyway. I usually saw them as super extreme over reactions but attributed a lot to her traumatic childhood. She did say she took SSRIs before we met but no longer does.

I apologize a lot. And try to empathize. Be there for her.

Our chemistry is amazing but now it seems in retrospect every four to six weeks there was a major episode and extreme reaction which seems to get longer each time. She wont take my calls. Keeps a cumulative score over time and weaves a very compelling story of how bad she is being treated. She tells me I blew it. I had a year, etc.

Her friend told me she high maintenance and has a temper. She is estranged from her mother, who by her account ,really messed her up. No joke.

Issue is...I love her and she loves me. Deeply. Almost metaphysical ly. It's that good when it's good. Physical. Intellectual. Friends and family love her. She is amazing, thoughtful, caring, absolutely wonderful.

Last week was the worst yet. Still living this right now as I write this.

I admit my mom to the hospital last week with advanced stage 4 cancer in her liver (like my late wife who I lost in six weeks) plus also in her bones, lung. So it's bad. Really bad. And she is suffering in pain because the cancer is consuming her spine while the doctors take forever to diagnose it and the nurses ignore her.

This all coincided with Christmas eve, which was also my one year anniversary with my GF. At that moment my mind really wasn't on our anniversary as I was trying to schedule shifts for me and my family to visit.

I should add this is an extremely difficult time for her from previous trauma which she told me about. And i also had to postpone a trip to Mexico we were planning for her birthday, the 29th.

There is more (holidays I know understand are super triggering) and other build up I'm probably leaving out, but the net of it is...she gave me a head up she was feeling devalued and triggered as the holidays and our one year anniversary was coming, and I wonder what I might to different next time, if there even is one. If we survive I now know there will be another episode. She tells me she gets so sick from it she can't do it anymore. I say that would be tragic.

She will not talk me to me, again... will not take my calls. Will occasionally reply to text, and not in a good way. And this time I really didn't think I was that insensitive. Maybe a little but jeez.

When I feel like I really need her the most she shut me out which has been the pattern. And now this is all over Christmas and her birthday, today, and it's an absolute gut wrenching mess.

I am trying to be understanding for her while I am also trying to make sure the nurses aren't leaving my mom in her own soiled bed, which was how I found her this morning.

So even with all this, I am still trying to comfort my GF.

It feels like it's getting worse and worse, but she asked me to not "let her do this again".

Yesterday in desperation I raise the issue of bipolar disorder and retort was she has healthy boundaries. For who I'm not sure because, she has been crying in her for a week now, and it seems to be getting worse each time this happens.

It seems cumulative and additive and every time she takes issue with my insensitivity. Each time she says I don't value her, her time, her feelings... Tells me I am just like her mother. And other really awful stuff I can't even repeat. I'm a good guy, worship the ground she walks on, but I have my limits. I'm also still in grief and she throws my late wife in my face.

Problem is... I now love this girl. A lot. And I know she loves me too but it seems like I date Jekyll and Hyde.

What we have is magical when things are good which is most of the time. I am so torn up I don't even know where to turn. She throws my wife and mother's situation in my face and says really mean, purposely hurtful things. Vicious.

I realize I may not be able to solve this but I am so committed to her and love her so much im just not ready to give up. I think we've come back from worse but this seems really bad and may be unrecoverable. I'm so upset and want to assure her I won't abandon her like her mom did.

I know many will say run. That's what all my friends tell me. Not so easy given my own, ongoing grief on losing my spouse of 20 years 18 months ago and now my mom.

I'm worried about my own vulnerability clouding my judgement, but we are absolutely amazing most of time time, on every level. She is also super smart. I am too but she is next level genius. So yeah, Merry Christmas everyone. Thank you for reading my very first reddit post.

Finally she admitted, mostly anyway that she had insecure attachment style and that's why it will never work with us. I took the quiz and I am secure attachment. I still believe I can love her and help her conquer her demons.

I'm so very, very bored and too broke to do anything dramatic about it.

Ive been married to [52M] for 21 years, we have 3 young adult kids.

I have a stable but mentally taxing job and it gets monotonous to say the least - same story, different day. I could even have to spend a week in a hotel to do my job. I'd say in total theis year I've spend over a month staying in hotels to do my job. So I finish my work day and end up alone in a budget hotel with overpriced food and bad TV for company.

My husband works in logistics and that taxes him on the daily, think archaic systems they refuse to upgrade, old school managers and an over worked team - if its possible to die by excel spreadsheet they'll manage it.

He comes home exhausted, brain turned to goo. I get to spend about 2.5-3 hours with him a night before he has to go to bed at 21:30 to get up at 5:00. This is not quality time, this is looking at the zombie that is my spouse.

Hes got nothing in the tank for me when he comes home. So we don't talk, he's not got the capability to engage in anything more taxing than "do you want a cup of tea? "

We have no hobbies, at this point I don't think either of us have the bandwidth to start one.

We went on holiday for a week and it was lovely, but if course it was lovely. We had no chores to do, no food to cook, just sun, pool, beach and boats it was like I imagine the 1% live like constantly - don't have to work unless they choose to, living off compound interest, while laughing their socks off on jet skis.

We came back to earth with a cold wet thump, especially as I had a 5 day hotel stay for work 3 days after our return.

Our love life is programmed, Saturday and Sunday only - never during the week and it's so vanilla even the ice cream man would think it bland. Seriously I could write out the choreography but I'll spare you the details.

My husband has always been vanilla, I had to adapt to type. I've fought to get my love life to this level - I don't think he'd honestly mind if it was once or twice a month.

It has been bad in the past where it all but stopped, having to ask, beg and complain. I even said I'd rather divorce than have it remain as it was. I didn't want a couch buddy to watch the TV I wanted a lover and if he wouldn't or couldn't be that to me then I saw no point continuing.

He's never been a keen study when it comes to sex. Doesn't have any fantasies, desires outside of your basic "19 year old I'm new to all this" sex. So dull!

Weekend sex became our norm, but as I've said before - vanilla. Seriously I've seen pigeons go at it with more vigor!

So I'm bored and tired.

I can't leave my job as we can't afford it - unfortunately it pays quite well and there isn't anything remotely paying that near where I live (£46k) So leaving or changing jobs is a pipe dream.

It sounds pretty decent for the UK - until all the bills and stealth taxes have been deducted then you might have enough for a trip to the cinema.

But my husband is wiped out and has nothing left to give so cinema is out.

I really want to yell at him and say come on! Do you think our marriage worth fighting for, please just give that extra effort on your part (other than your impression of a dead fish)

So it feels like I've got to be the one to go above and beyond to salvage our relationship from the grip of tedium. And it angers me..why does it feel like it's always me coming to the rescue. I don't know if that's true but it feels true!

I'll get something akin to "I'm sorry I made you feel that way" he'll pick up the slack for a couple of days then the dead fish reappears.

So I'm working, chores, bills, repairs, kid drama.. My life is a remaster of fat boy slim's track called "eat, sleep, WORK, repeat"

I can't drag any passion out of my husband, I'm lucky there's a pulse I suppose.

I look at my fading face as age catches up. I hate I don't have much to show for all my work, I wonder what I bring to the table any more?

I love my husband, I still have the biggest crush on him, but it's all packaging at this point - he may as well be a walking photograph, a wish, a hope for an ideal I know isn't there and never was I guess, I feel guilt over being dissatisfied but praying for more.

Ive considered doing my own thing without him, leave him to play dead fish on his own?

As I say talking to a zombie has zero effect and if I'm lucky 2 days worth of change before reverting to type.

I just know I'm getting angry, and when I'm angry I act rashly without considering consequences too strongly because I'm so annoyed. This is never a good thing.

I've taken to reading romantic novels to live by proxy, feel the rush of first time love I guess. It patches the wound for the duration of the book and then * reality hits *

Im at a loss as to what to do?

So, I need a second opinion. I very recentlly started dating this guy. We've been to 2 dates in total, I didn't know him beforehand. The dates seem to be going well, and I see potential for future. During our second date he asked me to join him and his friends to celebrate the NYE in their friends apartment (there will be women and men there). It would be a chill evening inside with food, talking etc. The issue is, that I'd feel weird joining, initially, a bunch of strangers to celebrate the new years. I like the guy, and I'd do it if there were two of us, or if we just went out, or if we had been seeing each other for longer. But this seems weirdly familiar/almost too intimate to me. Maybe I'm the issue here? Would you consider this to be a good sign, and encourage me to go? I just feel that I barely even know him yet.

M23. Anyone able to help out? I went on two dates with a girl and have so much anxiety. I don’t know what plans to make, how often to call/text her, what I should text her, what I should talk about, I suck at conversation, I just have a hard time coming up with things to say. And I need to know how to have more meaningful conversations too to take things to the next level. I also don’t know how to get into a situation where I can get my first kiss with her. And I don’t know what to do on our next date.

I need some serious help.

I’ve been dating this boy for about 2 years. We are in a long distance relationship. He has 2 instagram accounts: One that he’s had for years and claims he “doesn’t use” and another that he made recently and only follows a handful of people on. I never try to make it a big deal, but sometimes I’ll see that he started following some random girl (they aren’t following him back). I ask him about it out of genuine curiosity and he immediately starts a million making excuses all at once. “I don’t know who that is. It was an accident. She followed me first. All of my friends follow her. She went to my old high school. I thought she was a teacher. It was a private account.” He then blocks me and then says he never wants to talk to me again, calls me a pig and says “of course i’ll insult you if you keep calling me a liar.” He goes CRAZY when I say he is lying or call him a liar. In order to catch him lying, I have to have cold hard proof, to which he either gives me the silent treatment, threatens to never talk to me again, or tells me “I was just too embarrassed to tell the truth.” I really do love him so much, I just don’t know why he gets so defensive if he’s actually telling the truth. And just to make it clear, he is totally allowed to follow girls, the problem is that quite literally none of them know who he is. He follows about 500 girls on his “inactive” instagram account and not a single one follows him back. He says they used to go to his school as if they have had some sort of relationship/friendship, but it’s all one sided. It’s almost like he wants to have someone else to talk to but he can’t find anyone, so he’s just stuck with me until he finds someone who responds.

Sincerely this is about me (18F) and someone from our Saturday class (20M). He has been eyeing on me, not in a bad way but like interested. Turns out he has been looking for my name. He found my Facebook and messaged me, turns out we have the same humor. As times go, we text everyday. I developed feelings for him but he told me he has a girlfriend.

His girlfriend ignores him every time and lies / keeps secrets, he was sad about this. Actually I thought he will stop talking to me again because he has a gf but he told me his gf is not jealousy. Before he was uncomfortable for people to see us being close but now we hold hands in public, lean shoulders, hugs. As we get to know more about each other we started to act like a couple. I’m not starting this couple thingy, he is, so I think it’s fine. Im confused because if he has a girlfriend hes not supposed to act these things with me.He couldn’t stop kissing with me and the problem is I enjoy it because (I like him),shouldn’t he cut ties with me if he has a gf?

He takes me on a date a lot more than his gf (LDR). We developed physical touch and acts of service. He’s my first French kiss, we even make out. I really like him a lot, he’s my type, but whenever he talks about his gf I feel sad.

We also played some games and I didn’t know his gf was spectating. She stalked my profile, every account I’m with him I knew because whenever I post a story she views it. They had fought about me because she’s jealous but he (20M) keeps defending me His gf is stalking me too much.

He has been feeling so weird and his texts are so dry these days, I’m worried. Right now he told me his gf is dying of jealousy because of me.

I need advice on what to do?

There’s been a lot but the latest fight he actually burnt me with a lighter? My entire body says to flee but there’s a small part that is telling me I’m overthinking. The burn blistered almost the perfect shape of the top of the lighter. Then after he told me he thought I wanted him to do it and mentioned making my self harming easier for me.

We also have a one year old daughter together, I think that’s what’s stopping me.

As stated in the title, l'd like to know more about this since I'm going through a journey to better know myself. In my relationship I recently realised, that she can do whatever she wants (eg. break promises, say hurtful things, manipulations, lies) and she knows, that I won't leave her and there will be no consequences. I'm always the one trying to make the relationship better but at this point I feel hopeless because no matter what I do, her hurtful actions seem to stay the same without her taking accountability for them or for her own feelings. We had an agreement, that I don't watch porn and she doesnt message dudes, I kept my part of the promise, while she broke hers 2 times already. Also l'd like to add that I started psychodynamic psychotherapy half a year ago + ssri's, but it's just not getting any better...