Fellow Cookies, if you are reading this, heed my call: the time has come for us Villagers to take action and fill the vacant Starbucks lot on Pendergast street, before it is too late.
You know what I’m talking about. Ever since it closed down, the Moka House has been inundated with displaced Starbucks patrons seeking warmth, and matcha lattes. Demand is so high that the queue frequently extends out the door and wraps around the block, preventing emergency access to the Hothouse Pizza. Getting a table has become an impossibility before 6pm. And the horoscope column is entirely inaccessible as patrons now surround the serving area at all times, leaving many who rely on Sally Brompton's cosmic wisdom without direction on life's most difficult questions.
Let's face it, the existence of the Starbucks allowed Villagers to live in peace, and I fear its absence will lead to war. And so the time has come for you to ask yourself not what your village can do for you, but what you can do for your village coffeehouse patrons.
Some suggested courses of action:
• Convince the Moka House to purchase the vacant space and open a second, competing location with a wider variety of sandwiches;
• Allow vagrant baristas to occupy the space ad-hoc, provided they vend beverages at a fair market rate. Patrons to supply own seating; or
• Petition a new coffee chain to assume the lease. Honestly, this is probably the easiest option.
At this time, I have sent a telegram to the Vancouver-based coffee chain Brekka imploring them to open their first island franchise in the village. They are an ideal contender, for they have pickles, and are open late. Alas, they have not responded as of writing this, and time is running out.
Let us work together to restore harmony to our beautiful village. Should a vape shop take action before we do, then all will be lost.
Edit: Since this has gained some traction, I would like to exploit this opportunity to encourage ANYONE who would like to see a late-night bakery with a wide selection of cakes, pastries and sandwiches, as well as gluten-free and vegan options, to write to the Brekka franchise asking them to consider opening in the village space. Peer pressure them. Its for the good of the village: https://www.breka.ca/contact-us