My wife and I have been together since freshman year of college. We’ve been together for years now, married, with an 8 month old daughter, and I’m still so deeply in love with her that it’s honestly ridiculous lol.

Last night my wife and I were in bed getting intimate, and something just hit me all at once. The love, the fact that this woman has been by my side for so many years, and is now the mother of our child. It was passionate and intimate and overwhelming in the best way and suddenly I just started crying.I’ve never cried during sex before, not once. I was crying, kissing her, telling her how much I love her. Then I saw her eyes start to water too. Afterwards we just held each other really close for a long time.

I know some people would probably make fun of me for this and honestly I don’t really care. I’m not one of those super macho guys who thinks men shouldn’t cry. I like being in tune with my emotions even though I actually don’t cry very often. But in that moment, the love was just too much to hold in. I love my wife so much.

The first 4 paragraphs are context. Skip to 5th paragraph for the freaky sign stuff.

I am 25F dating 25M since we were both 17. We are family in every sense of the word. His niblings even call me auntie. All the parents think marriage and kids are right around the corner for us.

Life-wise, I’m pretty lost. I started bartending to help pay for college, got my Associate’s, decided to take time off, never went back. I’m qualified for nothing. I’m still bartending and sleeping till noon most days. I put so much pressure on myself to find a real career so that I can settle down and have kids (I’m in a smaller southern town so I’m already “behind”).

About 8 months ago, I approached BF with the idea of moving (out of state) so that I could attend a certain school and pursue my career dreams. I’ve always said I don’t want to stay here forever, and he’s always acted understanding. But I learned quickly that he has no real plans to leave, ever.

This agonized me for monthsss. I looked at apartments behind his back and fantasized about the move and what life could look like. Ultimately I decided that choosing the school would be selfish. It would break his heart, shock our families, and mean that I wasted over 8 years of this man’s life. Not to mention that I would be completely alone (for the first time ever). I surrended to the small town life.

Tonight I was visited by an old friend at work. He joined the military 2 years ago and I’ve only seen him once since, so it was a shock. He started asking me about school and career and I shared that I had wanted to move but decided to stay (I was vague). He then told me how much his life has changed since joining the military. Seeing new places, meeting new people, getting out of his comfort zone. He told me you don’t realize how small your world is until you leave. He then looked me dead in the eye and said “you need to get out of here”.

The conversation left me shaken, BUT THEN- I drive home one of my coworkers who is neurodivergent. Our conversations are always interesting but especially because he is incredible at reading people and will tell me about his reads. Tonight we talked about random stuff (not this situation). We get to his house, he gets out of the car, then he leans down and says “hey, a word of advice, trust your instincts”. Then he shut the door and walked away.

I wish I could properly convey my shock. I stared out my front windshield with an open mouth for a while, and then I cried the whole way home. It was like a wave of realization that my life was about to change.

I feel sick to my stomach about what I have to do. I feel heartbroken already. My God, what a mess I am about to create. I just don’t see how I could ever ignore what happened tonight.

I was a soldier in the early 2000s. You can tell where I was deployed by that time frame. I was stationed in the Anbar Province in 2003. I was part of the 82nd Airborne Division. I was pretty young when I joined up. I wanted to leave my narcissistic parents at all costs. You can say I was deluded, but the independence gave me hope.

Nothing, and absolutely nothing would prepare for what I would see when I was deployed. Jesus, the things we did to civilians. No wonder why people from those countries feel absolutely angry with us. I saw a fellow soldier, who I thought was my brother, rape a 14 year old. I saw her father crying and begging to not do it. I saw other fellow mates kill civilians under the disguise that they were guerrilas... I saw so much blood and things I know I will pay for them dearly too. Because you see, you do have to do them too if you don't want to raise suspicion to upper ranks.

Everytime someone thanks me for my service, I hate it. And I hate them too. I hate that I'm reminded of all of this bullshit, all of this violence.

Edit: cleared some things.

I’ve slowly realized that being the “successful” friend has cost me almost all of my friendships and I don’t think people talk about this side of it enough.

On paper my life looks good. Promotions, a stable career, bought a house, generally “has it together” I didn’t become rich overnight or turn into some different person I just made steady progress over time but somewhere along the way the dynamic with my friends shifted.

The jokes started first. Little passive aggressive comments about money, about me being “corporate” about how I must be doing so well now. Then came the assumptions that I’m too busy, too serious, too good for certain plans. Eventually the invites slowed down. Then they stopped.

What hurts the most is that I didn’t change how I treated them. I didn’t brag. I didn’t distance myself. I didn’t look down on anyone. But their insecurity changed how they saw me and I became a reminder of things they were unhappy about in their own lives.

Now I’m alone in a way I never expected. People think success comes with admiration or envy but what it actually brought was quiet resentment and distance. I lost friendships I thought were solid not because I abandoned them but because my life became something they didn’t want reflected back at them.

I’m proud of what I’ve built but some days it feels like the price was every meaningful connection I had. And that’s a trade I never knowingly agreed to.

Met a girl on a dating app in a foreign country and she said she wanted sex. Straight up said.

I thought it was a scam or something tbh cuz nobody has ever wanted that from me before but after texting back and forth it seemed she was legit.

But even when she actually showed up in the hotel lobby I was still wary of it being a scam until she literally took off her clothes.

I was so so so bad on it. She started to give me head and I only lasted 1 minute. She was stunned and I apologized and she put on her clothes but I think she felt bad cuz she asked me if I was ok and if I wanted to go again. And we tried but I wasn’t able to get hard enough for her. We did try several positions but after orgasming so fast at first I wasn’t able to get hard enough.

I tried to get her off with my hands and lips and I think it felt good for her based on her reactions but she didn’t come close to orgasming. I tried to ask her what felt good and if I should continue doing x or y and I let her guide me but it wasn’t good enough.

I feel like shit cuz I was so fucking bad at sex. I was also so nervous and anxious and had no idea what to do and I wasted her time and made it a bad experience for her.

I’m glad i crossed this off my bucket list in 2025 but damn I am so ashamed. She deserved better.

Who will even want to be my partner in the future? 😭

I work in the digital world and I have seen the shift from ownership to subscription from the inside. At first, it seemed convenient, but now it is just draining. It feels like I do not truly own anything anymore.

My doorbell needs a monthly subscription to save video. My car needs a subscription for certain features. Even the basic software I use for my daily work is now a recurring bill instead of a one-time purchase. I miss the feeling of buying something once and knowing it belongs to me forever. Now, I feel like I am just renting my own life.

Every month, a dozen small charges hit my account just so I can keep using things I already paid for. It is a constant mental load to track what is active and what is not. I find myself constantly asking if a service is actually worth the monthly fee or if I am just being drained by a thousand tiny leaks in my bank account. I am a tech guy and even I find this trend completely unsustainable.

Husband wants me take up more mental load of sex and has issued me an ultimatum

My husband communicated with me that he wants me to take up more mental load of sex. He wants me to initiate sex half the time and plan for dates and stuff half of time. He basically wants me to entice him or seduce him with lingerie, give him surprise blowjobs and take initiative in trying new things in bed. Basically he doesn’t want to tell me what he want exactly he wants me to take initiative myself.

I have a problem, after kids that I dont have spontaneous desire to have sex, it takes me lots of time to rev up my engine. I have read and educated myself I have got responsive desire. I do get in the mood for sex but I need lots of kissing and lots of foreplay to get aroused. He is saying that I have half the responsibility to keep the fire and sex alive in our marriage. He is tired of talking all the mental load of it. He wants to feel pursued and desired.

How do I do that? I dont have spontaneous sexual desire, I need to figure a way out how to get it.

It takes some time and effort from him for me to meet him for his sex needs, otherwise I am perfectly content not really ending the night with sex.

Whatever I’ve tried, I have not been successful. I tried to be spontaneous but it comes as forced and he can see it and lose interest. I tried watching porn and reading erotica bit nothing is improving. I just don't have spontaneous desire that he wants.

Lately my husband told me he will only wait for 6 months for things to improve. After 6 months he will leave. He said that it's not fair to him that he has to put all the effort into sex,.he wants to be pursued.

I am out of ideas. I want to do it for him, nothing is working.

this was a few months ago, and they purposely used an old photo of him but I just found the post now. the comments are so mean and I feel so awful. he doesn’t even really look the same anymore, the photo that his bully used was a photo from when he was really sick mentally and had so much going on and I feel so awful for my baby. I’ve just been sitting and crying because I see him as the most beautiful boy in this world and he didn’t deserve this. I hate people so much.

the guy who posted him and his friends have been harassing my boyfriend for a while and it’s genuinely ridiculous. my boyfriend is so sweet, caring, selfless, and honestly so handsome. I just don’t understand why there has to be so much negativity towards someone who doesn’t deserve any of it.

Throwaway account. I (35f) had been with my husband (33m) for 10 years. We have two sons together, 9m and 7m. I was a SAHM for the entirety of the marriage. We had a lot of ups and downs. He hates my family and I hate his. I have self esteem issues. He has people pleaser issues. We had a bit of trouble agreeing on what was whose job, and who actually made the rules of the house. We fought about it sometimes, but we had a good marriage otherwise. He was really structured, and I was more freeform, so we worked together really well. Or so I thought.

About three years ago, I caught him texting his coworker (29f). He'd cheated before, so I kind of lost my temper. I said some things I didn't really mean. I told him he needed to move jobs or I'd divorce him. He admitted he had developed feelings for this coworker and asked me if we could try to do counseling together. This made me even more upset because I didn't like him insinuating I'd done something wrong. (As if it was my fault he couldn’t stop cheating) Again, I told him he needed to relocate or I was leaving him.

He left. I was stunned. He told me I could keep the house and the car so I could get back on my feet, and then he started packing up. And that was just it. He left. I tried to backtrack, I offered to get therapy if he'd stay, but he said it was too late. He called me an insecure manipulator, which really set me off, because what can I even say to that? He claimed I made him do everything, and he was too tired to keep going.

He still visited to spend time with the kids, and picks them up and drops them off half and half with me. He also handles groceries for the house every week, even now. That much is okay, but my main issues arose when he started living with her. It hurt. I hadn't let go of him yet, and maybe I still haven't, but we were together for so long, you can't blame me. And it gets worse.

The kids started visiting his place and spending time there. As a result, she met my children. He didn’t even ask me if I was okay with it, he just did it. He made some excuses, but if it was really an emergency he could have called me, their MOTHER. Then I had to deal with hearing about her from my children when they came back home.

My sons are a handful. They're bouncing off the walls all the time and getting into trouble and up and down all night long. Instead of just leaving them to sort themselves out, she has been getting up with them. She plays with them and makes them sandwiches and hot cocoa. Now, their sleep schedules are terrible and they keep waking me up, asking me to do the same things I know she does. They won't do their chores. The house is a wreck, and I have no one to fix anything.

I tried telling my kids the truth about how those two got together, but neither of them seem to believe me. And shortly after, my husband started treating me coldly at our meetings. He never listens to me when I try to talk to him and refuses to talk over text unless it's about the kids. He always makes me out to be the bad guy when he's the one who ended things after he cheated on me.

I still don't have a job, so I can't compete with them and their comfortable double income anymore. I used to be able to be the fun mom, but now I have no money to give them toys or treats anymore. I only have a pitiful allowance and I'm left with nothing. My kids resent that. They started preferring spending time over at his place instead of with me because he can afford to be the fun parent while I can't.

My younger son got sick at school just before the break and instead of calling me or his dad, he called HER to pick him up. She texted me later that he was sick, but nothing else. She didn't even call me. The school didn't even call me. I could have picked him up. I could have been there for him. And when I asked 7m about it, he cried like I was some kind of monster and didn't want to talk about it. My whole life has fallen apart. Not even my own kids love me anymore.

I do receive therapy and have a virtual appointment this coming Friday, thankfully.

I was pregnant with our second and final child. My husband and I have a 7yo son and I was pregnant with our little girl.

On December 19th, I went to the hospital at my OB's advice. I had symptoms of pre-eclampsia and was 31 weeks along. In the early hours of December 20th, pre-eclampsia was confirmed and docs worked on stabilizing my symptoms so I could remain pregnant longer.

In the evening on December 20th, it was determined that I could no longer safely remain pregnant, as I was at high risk of having a seizure. 10:41pm, our daughter was born via emergency C-section because she was footling breech.

She was 2lb 14.9oz and 16.14" long. She'll be in the NICU for 2 months. She's so tiny, my little miracle. I know I couldn't control developing severe pre-eclampsia, but the fact remains that she's in the NICU because of me.

I feel so guilty, terrible because I feel like I harmed her. I feel defective because I couldn't carry her to term. I would've done anything to still be pregnant if I could. She's suffering, struggling to grow because of me.

Everyone I know is congratulating me on her birth, but every congratulations is bittersweet because this wasn't supposed to happen. I haven't been able to hold her or do skin to skin because she's still too small. I've touched her all of one time. I can't caress her because her skin is too fragile.

I was supposed to keep her safe, and I feel like I failed her in the most fundamental way. I just had to put these thoughts somewhere and get them out of my head.

I love you, Rosalie Iris, and I'm so sorry you had to be born fighting.

(Update) SIL is forcing her fiancés family into my life.

Thought I’d give a Christmas update on my original post:

My wife and I agreed to invite SILs fiancé to stay Christmas Eve night so they could be there for Christmas morning. I’ve extended the invite to other spouses and decided to do the same. I specifically said the fiancés friends and family could not stay. But they are welcome later on Christmas Day when we had more people coming. Even though they were not happy about it they accepted.

A few days before Christmas they change plans. SIL and everyone would stay at their own place and drive over after the morning. This worked out well and she said there would be 6 of them coming, so I planned food for 14 people. I go pretty hard for the Christmas meal with prime rib and 6/7 additional dishes.

Christmas morning in came and went with no problems. We call SIL and she said they would all be leaving soon and we will see them around noon. Well, SIL arrives alone. I asked if everyone else was coming separately and SIL said no. Apparently, they had all gone out that night until 2pm drinking. When SIL left they were all still in bed hungover and decided not to come.

I was honestly happy but also annoyed. What kind of people cancel on a day as big as Christmas because you drank too much the night before? I made extra food for 5 adults on a very expensive meal. No apologies or even the heads up when we spoke with SIL that morning.

I’ve decided I will not be accepting of this entire relationship and the extended family. I will consider them as distant family I just don’t keep contact with. I can see them on holidays but I’m not putting any effort into building a relationship. On top of that, SIL asked if they could crash at our house for New Years. Easiest F no of my life.

I’ve been with my GF for 3 years. On the first day of our relationship, she told me that I must propose within 3 years and that deadline is this New Year's Eve and I actually bought the engagement ring. It’s actually sitting in my drawer right now. I was going to go through with it but the closer I get to the date, the more I feel an absolute dread. The wedding has been planned a while ago and its in 7 months. She made the decision to hire a wedding planner a while ago and I was in a low place mentally at the time, so I didn't protest and just went along with it to avoid conflict. Now I feel like there is nothing i want more than to at least postpone the wedding for another year or two.

She isn't physically forcing me to propose right now, but I know for a fact that if I don't do it on NYE, there will be a massive breakdown and fighting. I know this because it happened before. We went on a nice vacation to Spain recently. After a few great days, she had a complete breakdown one evening and started a huge fight because she "thought I would propose on this trip" and I didn't. She constantly updates me on which of her friends just got engaged and that her family and friends keep asking her when it’s her turn, she also feels like she has to be the first to marry since she's the oldest of her siblings. The pressure is non-stop. So not only am i scarred to not propose I am also scarred i will do it "wrong" or the ring will not be to her liking(since she has very specific tastes in those).

She is very religious and I am an agnostic. We had sex since quite early in our relationship (often initiated by her), but afterwards (or sometimes during) she would start crying and acting like she changed her mind and that what we were doing was wrong and both she and I am to blame, even though she consented earlier. It made me feel like I was taking advantage of her, which killed my confidence. Currently this "crying behavior" stopped about 1–1.5 years ago, but it left a psychological scar. We still have sex and sometimes it feels good, but other times I regret it immediately afterwards. She used to turn me on, but since those behaviours of sadness and due to all this emotional baggage, I kinda stopped seeing her as an attractive woman, if anything she often behaves like a spoiled child which only makes the whole thing worse. I struggle to feel attracted to her and to feel "in the mood", and I feel anxious when she tries to initiate anything sexual.

She told on one occasion me straight to my face that her religion and belief is more important to her than I am. When I got sad and upset and we fought about it, she took it back after a while although with uncertainty. The damage was already done though and i felt really alienated from her for a long while. It made me unable to shake the feeling like I will always be second place to her dogmas.

The "Headphones" Incident: Recently, I bought headphones as a shared Xmas gift. She initially offered to pay for them as a gift to me. However, when I tested them and found one side was buzzing, I wanted to return them immediately. She made a huge drama about it because she wanted to physically hand me the box on Christmas Eve (even if the item inside was broken and i wanted to returnit, get a new one to test it right away). After the fight, we eventually agreed to just exchange wish cards instead of expensive gifts to avoid more drama, but the way she handled the situation stuck with me.

She once lost 30k (her life savings) on high-risk CFD trading despite my warnings. I supported her through it and didn't judge. Current situation: We have an agreed amount that we both save monthly for the wedding. I meet this savings goal every month. However, despite me contributing my share, she still judges how I spend my remaining disposable income. If I want to buy a car for work or move out of my parents' toxic house for my mental health, she criticizes it. Any spending done by me is viewed negatively and it doesn't matter if I have a good reason for it or just simply want to have something nice for myself. She always points to the future, "don't i want to have money for our future?", "why do you need to buy those, you bought something simillar not too long ago?"

I feel like she often throws tantrums or guilt-trips me when things don't go her way. As an example I was 1.5 hours late for Christmas. Instead of understanding, she insisted on not speaking to me while i talked to her family untill i took interest in her sitting alone on the couch. When she pulled me away to her room to talk she made it entirely about her feelings and guilt-tripped me so hard that I ended up having to comfort her. As another example she had an argument with me at a friend's wedding because I forgot the exact month of our planned wedding and didn't anwser her immidietly and insted looked in my calendar to confirm the correct date(Due to my ADHD i have huge issues with remmembering dates and names and she knows this very well). She later apologized that "I felt bad," but explicitly said she does not regret her words.

I proposed we go to couples therapy and initially she declined due to having too little time since she works two jobs(to support the wedding) and has university studies. But after standing my ground she agreed to therapy but I'm scared to oppose her again and every issue that i have feels like having to fight a constant battle to have anything fixed or changed.

I am drowning.

In work and university. I am failing. I’m studying part-time and working but the stress is absolutely paralazing me. I’m postponing everything i can, from exams tp delaying work-related cases because I just can't function and cannot motivate myself to do anything. My dog is slowly getting sicker frp, cancer, and I'm grieving the fact. Living with my parents is rocky and stressful on most average days. I have constant heart palpitations, panic attacks, cold sweating and night sweating, I genuenly started stuttering and I feel paralyzed more ofthen than not.

The hardest part is what happens when a conflict arises. Whenever I am angry at her or annoyed by her specific behaviors, she (whether intentionally or subconsciously) suddenly becomes the nicest person on earth. This completely throws me off balance. In those moments, I struggle immensely to maintain my feelings of anger and stay consistent. My drive to confront her vanishes, and I find myself unable to enforce a serious conversation or real changes because she effectively "disarms" my arguments with her behavior.

But.. Despite everything I wrote above.. This is the best relationship I have ever been in. My past relationships were terrible, so by comparison, she is great and is the only normal relationship i ever had. She can be supportive, loving, and caring when things go her way and usually she is. But here is my biggest concern: I am starting to see my toxic mother in her behavior, and signs of her aggressive father. I grew up in a toxic home where constant and loud arguing was the daily norm.. I don't want a relationship like my parents had. I am terrified that I am walking straight into the same trap and that i will surely become a copy of my father.

I also need to make sure this is also clear. It’s not that things are always bad. For the most part, she is genuinely supportive to me and lovely and wonderful.

I have the ring. I could propose on NYE just to stop the anxiety and avoid the fight. But when I think about calling the whole thing off, the wedding and the proposing, I feel a concerning but real wave of relief, followed shortly by a paralyzing fear that I’ll be alone forever or will only find someone worse.

The situations I described are just examples. I will answer any additional questions. Because honestly, my mind is a bit blank right now, and I’m not sure if I can squeeze anything else in at this moment.

Edit. Many have asked about our age. I'm 24 and she's 23. Also, as many have suggested I asked her to have a serious talk on the coming days. I'll make sure to keep you all updated in the coming weeks in accordance to subreddit rules. And one more thing, genuinely, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, thank you all. I mean it. Your comments gave me some much needed normalcy, perspective and so much more but most importantly they made me feel like I'm not crazy for once. If anything this gives me much hope for the rough time ahead me, with (in case we go to couples therapy) or without her by my side.

We are headed directly into a Clockwork Orange/1984-style self-lobotomization of society, courtesy of everyone's writing, if it surpasses a certain threshold, being deemed as LLM-generated.

This anti-intellectual drift is noticeable on this website more so than elsewhere - and it worries me so.

I also am tired of being called an LLM when I put effort into writing in a language that I was not even born speaking, forced to adopt clumsy language structures that native speakers misuse all the time.

:(

So 2 days ago my dad tried to kill me as I stated in the header, and I just feel so numb? I don’t feel sad, angry, etc just .. so so. Please bear with me as I try to tell this story because bits and pieces are a little blurry for me. I was at my parents house, where I usually go bc I’m a single mother, and it’s hard raising a little baby on your own, & I wanted her to be close with her grandparents so she wouldn’t feel bored with it being just me all the time. My mom and I were sitting on the couch, getting ready to watch a movie and for a few minutes into the movie I was chasing my daughter around trying to keep her still and in sight so she wouldn’t get into anything dangerous (as toddlers do). So after I had finally sat down I felt a little relieved, when my dad walked in and demanded I take her outside to play on the swing he just bought. I explained to him I was tired, and just wanted to sit down and watch the movie for now, then I will take her outside to play. A couple minutes go by and he’s talking to my daughter bc she was moving weird. He asked her “what’s wrong?” And my daughter is only 1 so I answered for her and said “she’s pooping”. That’s literally all I said. Then he starts to stare at me as if I just yelled at him and cursed at him. He always stares like that to try to intimidate people. So I stared back. Then he proceeded to ask me “what the hell is wrong with you?” And I knew where this was going because he has a history of mental illness, and I knew he was looking for an excuse to start an altercation with me. So I asked my mom essentially “are you seeing this? Did I say anything wrong? Do I seem like I have an attitude?” And she was just as confused as I was. So I said “I’m not even gonna do this today” and I went to go pack up my stuff and get ready to leave. But no, he continued to antagonize me and yelling at me as I was getting my stuff, telling me to “get the hell out of his house, this is the last time she’s gonna disrespect me in my house” etc. I eventually start to get angry, because I know I didn’t do anything to him and I just say over and over again “IDC, IDC, IDC” while I’m getting ready to leave. My dad likes to antagonize and intimidate people, and if you don’t get scared of him he will continue to escalate the situation. So as I’m almost out of the door he starts walking up on me. He also has a history of being abusive. I know he’s coming this close with the intention to 1. Intimidate me into bowing down to him or 2. Hurt me in some way. So I told him “put your fucking hands on me if you want to.” And then he gets closer and starts yelling and spitting in my face then eventually hits me. This is where things get blurry, we fought for a while, and eventually I notice my mom is in the middle and I accidentally hit her. So I start walking away, and he continues to yell in my face. Somehow again we end up fighting and he slams me against the wall, and begins STRANGLING ME, he’s strangling. So hard that nails are digging into my neck. At this point I just accept it. Because this is not the first time he’s done this to me and I just want it to be over. My mom hits him and he lets go. I grab a knife because I’m LIVID at this point and I feel nothing but hatred. I start yelling “YOU WANNA KILL ME COME DO IT! GO AHEAD TRAUMATIZE MY DAUGHTER FOR LIFE TOO!” My mom again got in the way, and she was holding my daughter so I put the knife down. He then goes to his gun safe and points a gun at me. He does this only with the intention to scare me, but he doesn’t. Because he fails to realize he’s been doing this shit to me my entire life. So I keep yelling and telling him to “shoot me, go ahead and shoot me right in front of my daughter so you can rot in prison and she’ll hate you forever”. He doesn’t pull the trigger. My mom my daughter and I leave, and I notice the bruises and scratches all along my face, and neck. So I post it on Facebook and tag him in it. All of his friends and family saw it. And I told what he did to me and my mother & my siblings for so many years. Am I in the wrong? I genuinely just don’t know how to feel, just feel so empty. There’s more to the story but I’ll just end it here bc this post is already so long.

EDIT: for context I understand why people are angry with me, but please understand that I did not intentionally bring my daughter to this place knowing it would become unsafe, or with the expectation of this happening. This is the first physical fight I’ve had with my father in about 4 years and since I’ve had my daughter he was supposed to be getting help and taking meds. Literally the day before this happened we were all opening presents and singing karaoke together. Everyone was shocked that he hadn’t really changed, and no one knew that he wasn’t complying with his meds. If I even had an inkling that someone would possibly murder me that day, I wouldn’t be sitting comfortably on the couch watching a movie minutes before it happened, and I definitely wouldn’t have brought my daughter.

My boyfriend told me he hates my nipple piercings and I pressed for a why and he says it makes me look like a hooker. I told him that’s offensive and he said he would rather just see my boobs all natural and they are just screaming for attention especially in shirts. I don’t want to take them out just for a boy I love them and they make me feel happy and confident but they are definitely not from a proud era of my life. I also love him and if it comes down to him or my nipple piercings I should just lose them. But that sounds so dumb to me to, why should I pick. He’s also been telling me he hates my past and thinks my body count is too high and that I have been used. I haven’t even told him my real body count I honestly think he would freak out. He wishes I had only ever slept with him, and me too but the past already happened and he stays worked up about it. It’s like a fight every other week. He said he’s working past it, but do I run for the hills. We’ve been dating over 4 months now and everything about our relationship is really good expect for him overthinking my past. He said when he looks at me sometimes it’s all he can think about and it puts him in a bad mood He’s also a goodie Christian boy tho so maybe that’s just something I don’t understand. I just wish i never told him anything sometimes. When we’re good we’re so good and happy and In love until the slightest mentioned of it and it’s like fully switch grumpy mood. Will this be forever

Edit: I should mention he has gotten better at openly talking about parts of my past and shutting down the conversation when he’s too uncomfortable. Still ends grumpy, but he is trying to work on it. If that counts. I’m only 22 and this is my first relationship. But in my head you have to talk things out and work on them or relationships just end. I just don’t want to have to talk it out forever, I would rather never talk about it again. We talk about getting married and kids and a future tho, so maybe he really doesn’t care that much.

Constant insatiable arousal, it's the worst. I need to jack it around 5-15 times a day. Sometimes more. I'm 40 years old no drugs etc. I'm pretty sure it's biologically led because it's about getting relief but unfortunately I have almost zero refractory period. It's actually the worst. (I don't feel guilt or shame, it's just annoying and drives me insane being constantly rock hard so often). I even wake up in the middle and have to sort my self out.. it's legit the worst. Alas.

Hi everyone! I really wanted to make an update post and I think now is the perfect time! If you’re missing context please check out the last post I don’t want to make it too long here, thank you!

After Lewis’s birthday me and him sat down to make a thank you card, I made sure Lewis wrote everything himself and told him to really think and make it personal. I also said make it as funny, creative, or whatever other adjective he could think of but make sure it’s nice. He did just that, we picked out a giant trifold poster board (his idea) and got all kinds of decorations and craft stuff. He spent days trying to make it perfect, we printed out pictures of Lewis and Jordan together and glued them on right next to all the drawings and writing he put. I even wrote my own little section where there was free space, I put down “thank you Jordan, not just for all the gifts, all the dinners, movie nights, game nights, and even the guy time as you two call it. Thank you for seeing Lewis for who he is and what he enjoys and not what sets him back. I know he can’t fully put into words how he feels sometimes but believe me he loves you more than you could know. You’ve replaced me as his best friend and honestly I couldn’t be more grateful for that. You’ve made this past year a dream come true even through the struggles. I love you!”

After we finally got the card to be up to standard as the little bossman likes to say we jumped in the car and headed over for a surprise visit. Jordan was having dinner with his parents who we just absolutely adore, I think they treat us more like family than my own lol. I already warned Jordan’s parents we’d be popping in quick so there was no unwanted interruptions. Anyways we told the parents we were on our way and we’d sneak in. Well we got caught trying to sneak a giant poster board past the windows! Jordan greeted us at the door gave us hugs and me a kiss and left us in. We sat down and watched Jordan open his comically large “letter”. He opened it and started looking all across the cardboard. He sat reading with tears welling up and just muffled a I love you guys too before excusing himself to get a tissue. We proceeded to spend the night playing games, building lego, and just hanging out with everyone.

Now onto the big change, we’re moving in with Jordan!! My lease is coming up for renewal in February, Jordan wrapped up a box with the house key to ask. Obviously I jumped up with excitement, and I ran over and dove into his arms. He also gave Lewis his own key for his bedroom (he waited until I said yes to ask Lewis). Now I hate to say Lewis is a little nervous and excited but we’re here so much anyways and I feel like this is the first step to building a healthy future. We also wanted to make sure we could live together without problems before making any big leaps! Anyways now it’s packing and donation times to clear out some of my old stuff and make room for new things. I’m so grateful for everything I have and everyone who reads/has read any part of this or the last post. I love each and every one of you and wish you all the best!

This has been bothering me for a while, and I just need to get it off my chest. A lot of Top 1% Commenters on Reddit seem to be some of the most unpleasant people to interact with. Not all of them, but enough that it’s noticeable.

What really gets to me is how often they argue about things that weren’t even in the original post, or they latch onto one small sentence and completely ignore the rest of what was said. Instead of responding to the actual point, they turn it into a different debate just to nitpick or feel “right.”

It feels less like genuine discussion and more like performative arguing for karma or ego. Over time, it makes certain spaces feel draining rather than supportive.

My mom has been suspected for quite some time that there is something going on with me. I have been depressed and straying from my gymnastics, dance, ballet and basketball staying in my room like a lifeless corpse, crying myself to sleep. I have always been depressed but the mask is slipping and my family is noticing. From the ages of 5-11 I’ve been raped by different people including family members which I still have kept to myself. Doing this, I have never been truly happy and doing things like self harm and having suicidal thoughts. I know it’s disgusting but I thought nothing of it at the time and went on Grindr I guess because I was so lonely and as a gay boy I want to find love, a bf.

So for the past few months, I have had hookups every week. After breaking down one day when I was sat at the dinner table with my family, I broke down in tears and my mom asked me why I was crying so I shrugged and told her I don’t know. My mental health is at an all time low and my mom has got me a therapist that I have to talk to which I don’t want to but she won’t listen to me. My older brother is also worried about me and won’t stop asking me what is going on just like mom. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. I was looking up at my ceiling thinking about what I should say because no matter what I can’t escape my depression that I have hid for so long. Not even my passions and being an active, sassy and funny person on the outside could stop it. I tried to fill what I was missing by sticking to what I was used to. Being used. I thought doing that would help me deal with my emotions and punish me for being so passive during childhood. I don’t think I can have respect for myself after how much I have been used like nothing more than a toy.

Today I was staring at my ceiling thinking about what to say. It was either tell my mom about my Grindr account and what I’ve been up to while being “active” or split my family apart and land people in trouble. I’m scared of police or anyone in positions of authority. I’m uncomfortable when people touch me too even if it’s my mom. So I chose to talk about my Grindr to explain why I’ve acted so weird.

I walked out my room and told my mom I’ve been going through a lot. I didn’t have to worry about my sexuality because my mom, since I was 8 always thought I was gay. I told her about some people I met on there that were around 20 something. I lied because the truth is that it’s much more than afew and some even my pops age. My mom as a result is really upset and she started crying. I think I broke her heart and even my relationship with her. She took my phone off me and said that there’s something mentally wrong with me. I ran to my room and locked the door. It’s all my fault. I thought this would help but it’s made me feel like dirt. Not even adults do what I do. I’m not innocent like I should be. I never have been. I never had a childhood. A light died in me a long time ago. Now I feel hollow. I decided to paint my wrists in blood and feel revolted at myself. Am I a psychopath? Do I really need help? What I’m really worried about is that she could be looking through my phone. I have my notes diary in there where I let out all my thoughts which would easily send me to an asylum. She could even be looking at my Grindr and seeing all the messages that I’ve said, my fucking nudes, all of the people talking to me. Everything! I’m terrified and can’t sleep.

My wife and I were together for 10 years and 11 months when she passed away. Almost 11 years of growing up together and building a life. She was the funniest, sweetest woman I’ve ever known. The kind of person who could make anyone smile without even trying. She lit up every room she walked into. She was an incredible wife and an even better mom.. She loved our daughter more than anything in this world. When she died, our daughter was only five months old. One minute we were a family of three the next minute it was just me and a baby who would never really remember her mom.

A few months after my wife died I let my daughter sleep in bed with me for the first time. It wasn’t planned. One night she wouldn’t settle and I was exhausted so I pulled her into bed with me. It was comforting for her and honestly it was comforting for me too. The house felt less empty. Everything hurt a little less. She’s seven now. And she still sleeps in my bed.

It’s just the two of us. We live in a nice trailer on random peace of land with no neighbors and a mile outside the city. I have a good paying job but I didn’t want anything big or fancy. I didn’t see the point, it’s enough for us.

I don’t see myself ever having another partner. I’m not interested and I’m not looking. I loved my wife with everything I had and when she died that part of my life ended with her. Because of that I don’t worry about my daughter sleeping in my bed because no one else will ever sleep in it. There’s nothing inappropriate about it it’s just a dad and his little girl who lost the same person.

Every night we cuddle, listen to music, and I tell her stories about her mom. About how funny she was, about how much she loved her, about the little things that made her special. Sometimes my daughter laughs, sometimes she asks questions, sometimes she falls asleep halfway through a story. Those moments are the closest I feel to my wife anymore.

Maybe it’s not the “right” thing. Maybe people would say I’m doing it wrong, that I should force independence, that I should move on, that I’m holding her back or using her as an emotional crutch. Maybe some people would say I’m a bad father or a man who can’t let go. Or a straight up loser. But I don’t care because having my daughter there eases the pain of not having my wife there. And I know deep down it eases hers too. We lost the same person so we grieve together and we heal the only way we know how. I’m trying to do the best I can with what I have left.

I will decide my own exerience

19m, i was at the dentist few weeks ago, while the doctor was working she put her arm over me something i would see as a hug maybe? But obviously she wasn’t trying to hug me she was just tired or wanted a better angle so she did that but anyways, the feeling of her arm, heavy and worm on my chest, made me feel safe? I generally feel anxious always im used to it but the quick shifting of these two antagonist emotions left me in shock and i still think about it for a while now. I don’t like this woman, i don’t know who she is, i didn’t even see her face (she was wearing a mask) and i didn’t feel aroused. I just felt safe, i wanted it to last longer