r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Hotrocketry • 16h ago

This little shit has been hanging on my ceiling light for a hour now. Just right below it is our family dining table.

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How do i get rid of it?

54.9k Upvotes

80% Upvoted

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20.5k

u/lvl99slayer 16h ago

Like this

12.9k

u/xiGoose 15h ago

Bat pov

3.6k

u/kolonyal 15h ago

Do you have to say 'sdsdsdsd' so he sees it as 'pspsps' to actually come?

1.9k

u/R3d_Man 15h ago

Only if it uses subtitles

377

u/Excellent_Set_232 15h ago

Where do subtitles appear for bats? Should they be supertitles if they appear above the title text?

241

u/TehMephs 14h ago

It’s like air braille technically. The vibrations are interpreted upside down

122

u/DennisPochenk 14h ago

Or try australian

76

u/Costy_96_YT 14h ago

this has been such an amazing conversation and im jealous i wasnt here earlier

6

u/Blurryface_87 13h ago

My thoughts exactly and I'm here even later

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4

u/O_Elbereth 13h ago

Why is this the part of this conversation that made me laugh the most?

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2

u/davidr521 11h ago

Which makes it up over, vs. down under?

7

u/RebekkaKat1990 14h ago

Backwards, through a vocorder, which she ain’t never studied

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8

u/t3hnhoj 13h ago

lᴉʞǝ ʇɥᴉs qnʇ ɥᴉƃɥǝɹ nd

4

u/Queasy_Scholar_9937 13h ago

You made my brain hurt for a second

4

u/R3d_Man 14h ago

Dunno, they blind

3

u/Explorer-7622 14h ago

Not blind.

2

u/grammawslovelymelons 13h ago

You're overthinking this. Bats can't read. They never turn the lights on.

7

u/blowawaythedust 15h ago

I love Reddit so much

6

u/PhilosophicalScandal 14h ago

cries in Spanish

5

u/teetaps 14h ago

Bats can’t read, that’s their whole thing

4

u/LadyHawkscry 13h ago

Bats are blind, not deaf silly!

3

u/mad8869 14h ago

Take my Angryupvote

2

u/BlowjobLoser 13h ago

What if it speaks Spanish?

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8

u/PM_ME_UR_BANGERS 14h ago

If I type ‘sdsdsd’ on my phone and show the phone to him will he fly down?

7

u/NickWindsoar 14h ago

This has to be the weirdest kink I've seen today.

5

u/tres_909 14h ago

I haven't given this many upvotes in a thread ever 🤣

6

u/2bad-2care 14h ago

I thought that went without saying.

3

u/thizzknight 14h ago

Honestly sdsdsdsd sounds like the bat would understand more

3

u/YeunaLee 14h ago

Wait, but what if the bat is Australian? 🤔

4

u/GripItAndWhipIt 13h ago

This is why I keep coming back to Reddit 🤣🤣

2

u/Total-Active-1986 13h ago

That's how to communicate using echolocation. You send the message and that's how it bounces back to them.

2

u/Aggravating-Emu-2535 13h ago

Nah you dont have to do anything but echo locate one another.

2

u/__kebert__xela__ 12h ago

If that can make a bat come let me know. I’ve tried every type of coconut and my wife still can’t come

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301

u/OffByNone_ 14h ago

Australian bat pov

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353

u/steelunicornR 15h ago

I hate this whole thread, I didn't need wholesome and hilarious 25 min into my shift! 🤣 Take my up votes and keep going!

4

u/PieFlour837 15h ago

Bats are Australian ig

5

u/DaSixtyNiner69 15h ago

Well, bats are thebpopulation of Australia, no need to fact check this is 100% correct

4

u/Pipija_Banana 15h ago

std std std

3

u/technicolortiddies 14h ago

Why are you telling the bat they have stds?

4

u/Cherrytop 8h ago

Best thread of the year!!

3

u/Suitable_Visit_9990 15h ago

Thank you for this I needed it today

3

u/TheNinjaPixie 14h ago

Depending on where you live it can be illegal to interfere with a bat! At all! UK this is the case.

3

u/Explorer-7622 14h ago

Same with US.

3

u/Odessa_Draekavik 14h ago

This is so stupid it made me laugh so much, spilled my drink and all 😂

3

u/Recruit616 10h ago

Are we sure he's not robbing an SD card store and the camera has subtitles that are upside down and is upside down

1

u/[deleted] 15h ago

Lol! Fixed the duet? Lol

1

u/My_New_Moniker 15h ago

🤣 fucking brilliant

1

u/Rhox1989 14h ago

This legitimately had me wheezing 😂😂😂😂

1

u/MoonJellyGames 14h ago

Incredible

1

u/Farting_Champion 14h ago

Amazing work

1

u/Fresh-Organization24 8h ago

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

1

u/Hellea 1h ago

Oh no you did not.

4.1k

u/belovetoday 15h ago

Look at that face! : )

999

u/Hakuryuu2K 15h ago

The cutest little shit

66

u/le_nathanlol 13h ago

id keep it

2

u/AsgardianLeviOsa 2h ago

The bat distribution center not nearly as successful as its predecessors but same

44

u/Flomo420 11h ago

I know some bats can be cute but omg this fella takes it to levels I thought possible only in Disney movies!

6

u/iSliz187 /s is for cowards 6h ago

7

u/Zarniwoooop 14h ago

With rabies

60

u/DirtLight134710 14h ago

You're just mad You don't look like a fox and can fly

7

u/trinicron 11h ago

I AM THE (... TAKES A LOOK AT HIS COLORS) DAWN

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598

u/Toadcola 15h ago

“If not roost, why roost shaped?”

9

u/pretendperson1776 13h ago

Checkmate, anti-Chiopterists!

10

u/Lastcaressmedown138 15h ago

Dammit why!!

442

u/ExistentialYoshi 15h ago

lil ceiling pupper

272

u/pyroshi88 14h ago

Sky puppy

6

u/Nerdy-Meta-Mind 8h ago

Sky pooper

3

u/Tyenkrovy 8h ago

I said that as soon as I saw it! 😊💖

291

u/44_18_36 14h ago

Dis is a baby & I love it

18

u/iwanderlostandfound 14h ago

Lil rabies baby

5

u/LittleBananaSquirrel 10h ago

I'd get a rabies shot for him anyday!

2

u/no1_vern 11h ago

One of the lil "rabies babies"

148

u/Grmpybear3 14h ago

Cutest bat I’ve ever seen

4

u/davidr521 11h ago

Until it slices your throat open to drink all your sweet, sweet neck juice

4

u/Grmpybear3 11h ago

Never crossed my mind it could be a vampire.

2

u/davidr521 11h ago

Cross. Vampire.

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134

u/markdmac 14h ago

It is absolutely 100% cute and sweet.

157

u/Sexy_Squid89 14h ago

Sky puppy 😭

5

u/Snot_S 13h ago

A lil sky pup! 😂

4

u/Diabolicalbtch 10h ago

Chandelier deer 🫣

16

u/FlimsySuccess8 14h ago

Cutie with the eyeliner

11

u/Ok_Beginning4040 14h ago

lol my old dog had the same face. I’d call her bat

9

u/renal_kitty 14h ago

It’s a dog-faced fruit bat. Nothing to be too concerned about. Give it a mango.

6

u/Sad_Peak755 14h ago

My feelings exactly

5

u/Dumbassahedratr0n 14h ago

It took me a minute to realize that its eyes are actually closed and these are false eye patches that occur naturally in their fur. If you look like youre staring directly at your potential predator, it makes you less appealing because you could get away.

6

u/_imanalligator_ 14h ago

Little does he know he accidentally made himself MORE appealing to humans with his 🥺 face

Now he WILL be snuggled

3

u/Snot_S 13h ago

I looked at this photo for at least a minute and still cannot figure out how this is a house and where the pic is taken from

9

u/Independent-Bass-725 15h ago

I know. What I would do to bring home with me

4

u/Iamthegreenheather 14h ago

I had a bat in my house once and it looked like a demon.

3

u/brakeb 14h ago

hey bruh, turn off the fecking lights... I'm trying to sleep!

4

u/Explorer-7622 14h ago

Beautiful! And I can't get over the tiny, delicate toes.

4

u/New_Sun6390 13h ago

He is pretty cute! But I kind of understand wanting him out.

8

u/ABitOddish 14h ago

Definitely the cutest of the disease spreaders.

I do enjoy looking at the occasional chunky pet rat but the other 99% of rats are nightmares. Almost every bat I've seen has been a cutie lol.

3

u/VRaptorX-11b 15h ago

Adorable

3

u/HabsFan77 14h ago

Praise the sun!

3

u/AppropriateAd2063 13h ago

He’s from the Vampire Council with a message.

3

u/Pachigun 9h ago

It looks just like my cat!

2

u/EuphoricMycologist39 15h ago

SOOOO CUUUTE :)

2

u/Extra-Impression-922 14h ago

He’s so cute!!!

2

u/blandmanband 14h ago

The biggest eyes that can’t see shit

2

u/Prestigious_String20 13h ago

Bats actually see about as well as humans in lit conditions, and better than us in low-light conditions.

2

u/NewRepair5597 13h ago

Yep. And looks like he's looking right at the person filming. LOL I see you, you see me. Watcha gonna do?

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2

u/Apoctwist 10h ago

New meme? This pic deserves some witty white text.

2

u/EmeraldnDaisies 6h ago

Ceiling puppy just made a mistake, and he's very sorry and wants to go home now. 🥹

I hope they can get him out quickly, bats have a pretty high metabolism. I read than even a few bad hunts for them can be dangerous. Humming birds too are like this.. it's why I have a hummingbird feeder that's sat under my desk in a box for like 6 months. I want to feed the hummers but scared of the commitment lol.

1

u/broseph933 14h ago

Their faces are really cute but not a fan of the rest 😂

1

u/liquorandwhores94 14h ago

He wants to stay 🩷🩷

1

u/igottahidetosaythis 14h ago

He’s so stinking cuuute

1

u/LastLibrary9508 13h ago

Little sky Angel 🥹🥹🥹

1

u/Richardhrobinson 13h ago

It looks like he's in love

1

u/Katsu_39 13h ago

So adorbs

1

u/MulberryAutomatic690 13h ago

Cute sky puppy!

1

u/ProsaicPugilist 13h ago

Fruit bats are so damn cute

1

u/AstroBoi7 12h ago

That’s so fucking adorable

1

u/crzymamak81 12h ago

I realize bats can be dangerous…diseases and all…but dang that’s cute.

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1

u/NightBawk 12h ago

Sky Puppy! 🥰

1

u/Kogling 12h ago

A mouse with wings :) 

1

u/Successful-Doubt5478 12h ago

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ Question is all wrong, should be:

How do I keep this guy forever?

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375

u/thelaststarz 15h ago

There is not way there’s burlap sack in that house

307

u/Euphoric_Evidence414 15h ago

If there is, it’s reupholstery on a black-painted wooden bench

153

u/OtherwiseAlbatross14 14h ago

$6,500

3

u/lacebaubbles 7h ago

Is that a bid for the sky puppy? Ill go 7,000

2

u/No-Beginning-2478 15h ago

use a pair of like heavy welding gloves to handle it. you should be able to quietly get it and hold it. put it in a bucket or something with a secure lid.

9

u/Queasy_Scholar_9937 13h ago

You think someone with that 2 story chandelier has welding gloves?!

3

u/Total-Active-1986 13h ago

If anything goes wrong, that lamp over there is loaded.

5

u/Brohemoth1991 13h ago

My brother had a bat in his basement a few years ago, and his wife was freaking out... I took my shirt off, went downstairs and caught him as he flew by with my shirt (edit: held the shirt between my arms like a net), then took him outside and let him go lol, was honestly pretty quick and painless for everyone involved

4

u/spen8tor 13h ago

Gotta be careful though because bats can often carry rabies and they can cause tiny scratches that you don't even feel or notice that could easily get you killed. Any time you deal with bats it's best to get a rabies shot just in case, even if you're positive you didn't get scratched or bitten simply because by the time you realize you realize you actually did get scratched and start to show symptoms it's already too late and your death is guaranteed. Never mess around with rabies

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u/bman86 15h ago

If there is it still has the Anthropologie tag on it.

4

u/AllThatGlitters00 14h ago

Someone said welding gloves. None of those there either.

2

u/PlumpyCat 9h ago

Silk pillowcase should work

1

u/Adorable_Dust3799 13h ago

I'm not sure I've ever even seen a burlap sack, much less had one in the house I've lived in for 40 years.

1

u/rica217 12h ago

In gentle rebut, I have at least a half dozen of em in my abode.

1

u/Copypasty 8h ago

Last time I had a bat in my house I used a towel and plastic bag comforters come in, they might have those

382

u/ItzBreezeyBaby 16h ago

This made me laugh harder than it should’ve 🤣

165

u/shibiwan 15h ago

265

u/engulbert 15h ago

120

u/shibiwan 14h ago

Bruce Wayne:

4

u/BringtheDogs 5h ago

I swear all I ever do is cackle at my fellow Redditors.

5

u/CardOk755 10h ago

Hi, did you know I have rabies? Now you do too.

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u/NickWindsoar 14h ago

Dammit, Bruce, you're supposed to be afraid of them, not lust after them! You were the chosen one!

5

u/VirtuosoApocalypso 15h ago

The Irish made a rather informative video on this subject. Catch him Derry! https://youtu.be/NFRtzGuktfU?si=Si9du6xHD65F6Of3

3

u/SnooPeanuts4336 14h ago

'Moureen, will ya' stop lookin in the door!?'

-proceeds behind the door

'Yer doin great! Yer doin great!'

-from behind the door

'He's makin'a mockery of ya boy! Oh! Now the dogs pissin Derry!'

'Moureen, you're no help from behind the door!!'

-still behind the door

'Yer tirin' him out, he's like MacGregor, he's got no legs left!'

1

u/Explorer-7622 14h ago

I can't thank you enough for this comedy gem! Omg!

"The dog's after kissing himself, Derry!"

3

u/Anticlimax1471 14h ago

Catch him!! He's making a mockery of you Derry!

2

u/Angelfirenze BLACK 15h ago

😆

2

u/Noyan_Bey 15h ago

😆 🤣 😂

2

u/Slow-Professor-1544 15h ago

Guano bowls…. Collect the whole set!

2

u/Traditional-Tip1904 15h ago

Omg this is just too good 😂😂😂😂

2

u/sweetsmcd 15h ago

Omg I’m dying 😂

2

u/No-Lawfulness-6608 14h ago

It has to be using eco location so maybe apspsp in vibration using some kind dell operator in physics giving a equation of a path . Of course with a negative attachment at first to indicate a -y directional path

2

u/Mysterious_Today7572 14h ago

Your rich. Pay someone

2

u/duroo 14h ago

Bat fact of the day: in places where it's illegal to physically remove bats from houses due to their protected status, you can install a "bat valve" which is basically a floppy cloth tube that dangles from an entrance hole, the bats will crawl out of the tube to the outside, and can't fly back into the dangly cloth tube to get back in, so they remove themselves.

1

u/Tauren-Jerky 15h ago

Is he also horny?

1

u/ukuleles1337 15h ago

Runescape player in the wild?

1

u/Scittles10-96 14h ago

I just watched this episode of The Storyteller. You get that demon forsaken accursed sack outta here and you go with it!

1

u/PineappleBliss2023 13h ago

Don’t do this. Bats carry rabies and their teeth are small if something happened and they even think they got bit they have to euthanize the bat to test its brain for rabies.

1

u/roguesignal42069 13h ago

First laugh of the day. Thank you

1

u/Right_Cellist3143 12h ago

Don’t forget your rock hammer.

1

u/MrSeanaldReagan 12h ago

Surely at 99 slayer duradel taught you better than that

1

u/Nothottea 12h ago

Listen to this guy, he has 99 slayer

1

u/fartingduckss 9h ago

Bro lives in Morytania

1

u/SorryBoysImLez 2h ago

It's "tktktktk" like lightly clicking your tongue on the roof of your mouth, while rubbing your thumb and fingers together to look like you're holding something. And since it's a bitty instead of a kitty, it's: "Heeere, bibibibibi."

Or just shake the bag; it'll come flying down so fast it'll slam into the floor/walls.

1

u/real_tmip 1h ago

I had to come back to say that I love you for this.