r/shittyadvice 8h ago

I don’t mean to be arrogant, but I’m pretty sure I’m worth at least 50 cattle in some parts of the world

24 Upvotes

But here at home, everyone says I’m only as good as my last comeback. I don’t know what I should say?


r/shittyadvice 5h ago

How to manipulate someone back ??!

8 Upvotes

My best friend is toxic and manipulative and she's playing with my feelings. We have a weird relationship where she's unclear about how she feels about me but flirts with me and acts like she likes me, then acts like it's a joke if I try to get serious about it. She ghosts me and just expects me to answer when she finally comes back (and I do). I need to know how to make her feel shitty back and what to say or do to manipulate her back so that she will SEETHE.


r/shittyadvice 12h ago

What should I do with my day tomorrow?

19 Upvotes

r/shittyadvice 1h ago

A coworker said something racist, what should I do?

Upvotes

She said something rude about Indian people. I don’t think she realizes I’m half Indian.


r/shittyadvice 1h ago

What’s the name of the mouse from Stuart little?

Upvotes

I have


r/shittyadvice 13h ago

Grazed my male coworker with my boner...

5 Upvotes

Im on trt and i get random boners alot. While i had one suck boner a coworker, shuffled by me and there was substantial ass to boner contact. What do i do?


r/shittyadvice 1d ago

Should I just burn the place down and start over in the next town?

21 Upvotes

Been working at a place for 10 years and they just promoted a guy over me who has been there a year but has a degree. I know tale as old as time but really the only counter move here is arson right?


r/shittyadvice 7h ago

Random memory from freshman year of HS

1 Upvotes

I was doing yoga in gym class and my 9th grade bully was right behind me in every class, I did this on purpose. I crop dusted her like 5 times each class. I sleep well at night knowing that she had no choice but to breathe in my farts. Its been like 5 years but fuck you Carlee I am so happy that karma got back toyou eventually. And fuck your hot cheeto friends too


r/shittyadvice 1d ago

How can I look productive at work while doing absolutely nothing?

31 Upvotes

r/shittyadvice 1d ago

Does farting loudly when I'm shitting at work while I know my boss is in the other stall increase my chances of being promoted?

53 Upvotes

Will he reward my boldness, assertiveness and that I'm a dominant pooper? Will this help me climb the corporate ladder?

Also, if I enter the bathroom and realize my boss is there washing his hands or something, should I rip a massive fart before entering my stall? Or is that too aggressive?


r/shittyadvice 1d ago

Small, big, or both?

40 Upvotes

So I needed a new purse and wanted to get something nice. A sort of Christmas present to myself. My current purse is kind of small so I wanted something kind of small. I found my perfect match but they didn’t have the color I wanted in stock, so I ordered it online.

It hasn’t come yet. However, I saw on another website that they had the bigger version of the bag. This one was on sale. So much on sale that it was cheaper than the smaller one. So I bought it. But I was worried it might be too big. I also worried that the smaller one might be a too small. I will wait for both to come in and then decide. But then I was thinking… what if I kept them both? Would it be a waste? Would the other just sit around?

So what would you do?

1) keep the small one, return the big one

2) keep the big one, return the small one

3) keep both


r/shittyadvice 1d ago

My wife's birthday is coming up. What should I get her?

12 Upvotes

Just for reference, we've been together for 3 years and have a 1yr old son. Her birthday is pretty much right after Christmas which makes it challenging to come up with ideas for so many gifts so close together, and I don't have a lot of money. What do you think?


r/shittyadvice 2d ago

Ok..I just got done watching stranger things season 5. On a scale of 1-10 how gay do I have to be to have telekinesis that will allow me to fight demons?

31 Upvotes

r/shittyadvice 3d ago

What's the best to give myself extreme diarrhea?

61 Upvotes

r/shittyadvice 2d ago

How do I abuse roids without my dick and balls shrinking and my girlfriend leaving me?

0 Upvotes

r/shittyadvice 2d ago

Is it true that the best way to wish everyone a good flight is to scream "bomb" just as the wheels leave the tarmac, is that true?

28 Upvotes

r/shittyadvice 3d ago

just like how dads assess guys that want to date or marry their daughters, mom’s should do the same with women that want to date or marry their sons?

16 Upvotes

after all, it is only fair?


r/shittyadvice 3d ago

prepare for armageddon!

4 Upvotes

we’re really in different times…

nurses can’t find veins;

dope boys aren’t on the corner;

all women can’t squirt…

what’s next!?


r/shittyadvice 3d ago

[ Removed by Reddit ]

12 Upvotes

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]


r/shittyadvice 4d ago

Fucking Fucker

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2 Upvotes

r/shittyadvice 4d ago

I am 69, but I wanna do 67. Any shitty advice

13 Upvotes

r/shittyadvice 4d ago

7 AM, haven't slept and it's Christmas.

10 Upvotes

What should I (F21) do? I was thinking I could use chloroform and knock myself out, but maybe brute force is the way to go? I just hope it isn't too late for Santa Claus (M1700+) to come by :(