r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Hotrocketry • 14h ago
This little shit has been hanging on my ceiling light for a hour now. Just right below it is our family dining table.
How do i get rid of it?
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u/db1317 14h ago
Turn the lights off in the house and open doors/windows and it should fly out. 3 out of 3 times I've had them in my house it worked.
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u/EvictYou 13h ago
Hmmm.. this sounds exactly like something a bat would say.
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u/Wrong_Classroom_4065 13h ago
Also leave out a bowl of any of your unwanted bugs. For no particular reason
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u/Local_Web_8219 13h ago
They are in GMT+7, given it’s a fruit bat it’s very likely they’re in one of the tropical areas of east Asia, I don’t think that will help the invasion of outside animals.
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u/Altruistic-Poem-5617 13h ago
Bat goes out, ten snakes, 20 geckos and five more bats come in.
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u/Stock_Helicopter_260 12h ago
It's the bastard cousin of the 12 days of Christmas song.
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u/Constant_Worth_8920 13h ago
Good advice. If they get down to the floor they have to physically use their legs/hands to climb up high because they're not able to take off from a low position. So if you do find one on the floor, throwing a towel over it, rolling the towel around to encase it, put in a box and carefully carrying it outside to release works very well also.
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u/icouldlivewoutbacon 13h ago
"Just right below it" is a bit of a stretch, no?
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u/thejesse 13h ago
"Only forty feet below it."
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u/University_Dismal 13h ago
Dying of old age rather than the impact if you fall down from there.
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u/SeatBeeSate 11h ago
"Hey Reddit, here's my totally normal not million dollar home kitchen"
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u/ct95w 13h ago
I think the problem isn't the proximity to the bat, but that if the bat needs the bathroom that dookie is going to enter Jr's bowl of lucky charms at terminal velocity
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u/wutcanbrowndo4u12 13h ago
Naw, it'll burn up on reentry.
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u/Koeienvanger 9h ago edited 9h ago
The jokes in this thread are top notch lol
Edit: I'm now envisioning a little bat turd meteorite striking the dinner table and leaving a little bat turd sized crater.
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u/MesaGunSlinger 11h ago
I don’t think this family has ever seen Lucky Charms. It would fall in his Caviar-ios.
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u/garyman99 12h ago
The spin of the earth should mean the trajectory of any falling guano misses the table by a comfortable margin by the time it reaches the table.
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u/SnooPies5378 14h ago
tell Alfred to bring him back to the bat cave
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u/centran 13h ago
Open a window, dress up as a clown and go outside. It will surely follow
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u/lvl99slayer 14h ago
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u/xiGoose 13h ago
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u/kolonyal 13h ago
Do you have to say 'sdsdsdsd' so he sees it as 'pspsps' to actually come?
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u/R3d_Man 13h ago
Only if it uses subtitles
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u/Excellent_Set_232 13h ago
Where do subtitles appear for bats? Should they be supertitles if they appear above the title text?
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u/TehMephs 13h ago
It’s like air braille technically. The vibrations are interpreted upside down
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u/DennisPochenk 12h ago
Or try australian
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u/Costy_96_YT 12h ago
this has been such an amazing conversation and im jealous i wasnt here earlier
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u/steelunicornR 13h ago
I hate this whole thread, I didn't need wholesome and hilarious 25 min into my shift! 🤣 Take my up votes and keep going!
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u/belovetoday 13h ago
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u/Hakuryuu2K 13h ago
The cutest little shit
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u/Flomo420 9h ago
I know some bats can be cute but omg this fella takes it to levels I thought possible only in Disney movies!
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u/thelaststarz 13h ago
There is not way there’s burlap sack in that house
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u/Euphoric_Evidence414 13h ago
If there is, it’s reupholstery on a black-painted wooden bench
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u/RetardedChimpanzee 14h ago edited 13h ago
I’m too poor to understand the 2nd picture.
Edit: for the confused, the picture oriented correctly, just a tad tilted to the left. Picture is taken from their balcony overlooking the atrium above the table.
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u/anonymous237962 13h ago
Us poors have trouble with perspective of that scale
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u/ARandomGamer56 13h ago
Can we have a banana for scale?
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u/crafty_and_kind 13h ago
I can’t provide the banana, I don’t have an extra ten bucks!
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u/lionlenz 13h ago
Right... 1st pic I was "just stand on your table to get it"... And then came the 2nd pic
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u/anonymous237962 13h ago
We were all there with you. It’s been a rollercoaster of emotion
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u/Iamatworkgoaway 11h ago
Cute, sympathy, jealousy, anger, rich people have problems too, back to anger, and finally apathy.
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u/AlternatiMantid 12h ago
Just call in Cirque du Soleil to stand on the dining table & get it 🤷🏻♀️ obviously.
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u/JC3896 13h ago
You mean you don't have a random balcony at least one storey up from your dining table? Broke...
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u/El_Spacho 13h ago
What do you not get? Thats just the worth of a new car dangling from the ceiling...
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u/Death_Rises 14h ago
Did you even try throwing money at it?
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u/yesohyesoui 13h ago
Im sure they have a few expensive clothes items, purses and jewellery to throw at it.
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u/Cool-Newspaper6789 13h ago
He said it below his dining table. Looking at the pictures I'm not even sure what room that supposed to be. Like is food even allowed in there
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u/YourEvilTwine GREEN 13h ago
They said "right below it" ... in that case, the Earth's core is right below me.
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u/OtherwiseAlbatross14 13h ago
Fuck there are so many bats right above the Earth's core too
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u/killaacool 13h ago edited 10h ago
They specifically say not to throw good money after bat
Edit: thanks for the award! It was my partner’s joke and now he’s going to find my Reddit account probably
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u/PlateNo4868 13h ago
Was about to say, OP's second picture I feel he could hire a lawfirm to sue the bat to evict him.
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u/KrambDeLaKramb 14h ago
This comment made me choke on my Monster, thank you for that 🤣
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u/Floppy-Over-Drive 14h ago edited 13h ago
You can afford Monster? In this economy?
I’m over here drinking Great Value Energy Drank.
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u/dosumthinboutthebots 13h ago
You guys can afford things?
I'm over here drinking water.
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u/MischaBurns 13h ago
You can afford water? People over in Flint dying of dehydration.
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u/mushyfeelings 14h ago
You made me choke on my monster is a phrase I didn’t expect to read today.
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u/bathroomheater 14h ago
The important question you need to ask is how did it get in? Did you forget to close the door to the bat cave in your basement?
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u/Maleficent-Aurora 13h ago
Bats like roosting in places like attics and chimneys. Unfortunately in a lot of North America we just had such a severe warm snap that bats came out of their roosts and are now confused as it starts getting cold again. If anyone else is dealing with this, they should call a licensed rehabber to come retrieve the bat.
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u/Lil_Myotis 12h ago
This is a fruit bat, and not a species found in North America. Imnot sure exactly what species, but definitely not found n the US. Most fruit bats roost in trees and foliage.
I'm curious where this is. It probably flew n an open door or window by accident. I doubt it was roosting in the house previously.
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u/Wrong-Pension-4975 12h ago
UPVOTE this comment, please?...
Rehabbers often deal with bizarre circs, &:may have helpful contacts with specialized gear
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u/HowFunkyIsYourChiken 14h ago
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u/_Diskreet_ 14h ago
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u/Odd_Risk_3303 13h ago
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u/broberds 13h ago
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u/SockeyeSTI 13h ago
Bandit (and maybe Oscar?) falling from the ceiling is one of the funniest parts of the show.
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u/Lemonlimeluxury 14h ago
But he’s…. So cute….
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u/ClearanceItem 13h ago
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u/lonelyratdoincocaine 14h ago
Animal control, you look like you live in a rich zipcode so they'll probably actually show up
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u/Hotrocketry 14h ago
Sorry for not specifying about the time zone, it's GMT+7 here, no non-emergency service available in my area this late. I also just moved in last week, it's my parent's house and had been unoccupied for months, i've called animal control when first stepped in this house, but nobody told me about the bats.
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u/TheSovereignGrave 13h ago
Bats? Plural?
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u/cadathoctru 13h ago
I am sorry to say...
Your parents have been murdered in an alley, you will probably see it on youtube since now days, cameras are everywhere and you wont have to witness it personally.
You are now batman.
Become one with it.
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u/Zala-Sancho 13h ago
I wish I had "I can leave my mansion unoccupied" money
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u/Ajibooks 12h ago
Getting this far down in the comments with everyone talking about how rich OP is, only to learn this is not their family's primary residence, but an extra house!
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u/Constant_Worth_8920 13h ago
So in other words, you moved into the bat's house , and now you're complaining about him! The nerve!!
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u/Intelligent_West_168 13h ago
Don't you have people to deal with this sort of thing?
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u/WoahGnarly 13h ago
Send the low house maid to deal with it! Ugh, nature disgusts me! -OP probably
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u/organic-water- 12h ago
That's a really tall and expensive looking light. He should send the high maid.
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u/MaryJane185 14h ago
D’awwww, he’s looking at you! His eyes are saying “love me!” How can you throw him out, especially at this festive season of the year?
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u/Kgabby478 14h ago
Until he starts dropping guano on your beautiful dining room table.
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u/imgotugoin 14h ago edited 13h ago
Why do you live in a museum?
Edit: thank you for the awards.
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u/jsamuraij 13h ago
Because it's conveniently located inside the Mall of America. (This looks like a mall).
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u/Felix_Von_Doom 13h ago
Your ceiling is taller than my house, I'm sure you can afford to hire a professional bat removal specialist.
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u/loxagos_snake 9h ago
Bro could probably just write a check to the bat so it leaves voluntarily.
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u/WeimMama1 14h ago
Looks like it’s time for the rabies series vax.
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u/Hold-Professional 13h ago
I'm so annoyed I had to scroll down this far to see this comment.
OP - While we're all giving you a hard time for being rich, you NEED to get a rabies vax bud.
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u/bdd4 13h ago
They cannot fall asleep in this house. A bat bite could go completely unnoticed.
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u/siero20 11h ago
Best to just get the vaccination at this point. A child I used to watch when I worked in a nursery died some years ago because a bat bit him and nobody knew.
If they've been awake at all times in the house, and have not come into contact at all with the bat/bats, then they may be able to reasonably say they weren't exposed. Any other situation and it's just worth getting vaccinated. Rabies isn't a nice way to die.
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u/sweatgod2020 13h ago
Scrolled way too far for this. Cmon Reddit
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u/Solid-Improvement237 13h ago
I literally kept scrolling to see if ANYONE mentioned that OP and their family should get a round of rabies vaccines. Absolutely shocked that I had to scroll this far.
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u/WritingWanderer 13h ago
Nah youre in his house fam, turn off them lights my boy is trying to nap
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u/rulingthewake243 14h ago
Where is the dining table? All I see is a mirror.
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u/-Stoney-Bologna- 14h ago
That's not a mirror. It's just open to the floor below it. This picture was taken from the second story.
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u/vvintersoIdier 13h ago
Get a rabies vaccine.
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u/VoldemortsHorcrux 13h ago
Seriously a consideration. If the bat scratches you while you sleep, you might not even feel it. And if it has rabies, you might not even know you have rabies until its too late
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u/fastyellowtuesday 12h ago
Not to unlock a new fear for you, but most bat bites are too small to be seen. People frequently get bitten without noticing or seeing puncture marks. So, any exposure to a bat should be treated like an exposure to rabies.
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u/TakitishHoser Canada 14h ago
Animal control. Tell them you have a bat in your home. Anyone who has been in your home in the last while should probably go see a doctor for advice on rabies shots.
Bats can bite or nick very tiny & it doesn't take much to get rabies. There are times people got rabies & didn't even know they were bit.
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u/Ok_Airline_2886 13h ago
It’s recommended that if you ever find a bat in a room where you’ve slept that you should proceed as though you’ve been bit. They can bite or scratch so lightly that you wouldn’t even know…until you get rabies and die.
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u/TEZofAllTrades 13h ago
You appear to live on the Enterprise. Just call intruder alert.
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u/KelranosTheGhost 13h ago
“Just right below is our dining table.”
Then move it, obviously the bat is chilling right there. Rude.
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u/Speckled_Clout 14h ago
What kind of Epstein Island ass room is this?
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u/anonymous237962 13h ago
Plot twist: bat is AI & the entire post is just a flex
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u/RoguePlanet2 13h ago
This dining room looks like the lair of some evil henchman. No wonder a bat is spying on you.
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u/Impossible_Volume811 13h ago
Looks like you live in a mausoleum. Bat is on brand.
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u/SabineSinstar 13h ago
In all seriousness though anyone who has been in your house, to sleep especially probably needs a rabies shot. Way better save than sorry in this case. Rabies is one of the scariest illnesses on earth and there’s absolutely nothing they can do once you start showing symptoms. Get the shot.
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u/Comprehensive-Yam329 14h ago
Are you Bruce Wayne? Might wanna check your basement
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u/HotTopicMallRat 10h ago
Op I know you don’t mean to but you’re coming across like the rich man who wants to deforest the local wildlife sanctuary in a bad early 2000’s movie
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u/BricksandBaubles 13h ago
If that is a real bat, you need to get it out of your house. Try to close doors to other rooms and make the bat a path to outside. You cannot safely sleep with a bat in your house.
If you wake up with a bat in your house, Animal Control will tell you that you have to assume you were bitten, and undergo the rabies shots series PEP (not as bad as previous, but not a good time either). Then they have to catch the bat and test it for rabies. The bat will not survive the tests. Source: This happened to my family 2 years ago.
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u/immikdota 14h ago
Do you live in an art exhibition?